Aren't most of us here skeptical about personal stories posted from somebody who just joined, particularly if they give out advice based on blanket stereotypes of certain foreigners?


http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...c=79221&hl=

Yes.

Definitely.

Adding to the suspicion is how these noobs already know al the features of the site and the dynamics of the people here.

I didn't even think of that! When I first joined VJ, I was overwhelmed with all the different categories so I didn't even venture outside of the K-1 area for the first month.

I think in some cases regular members might create a new ID to post something that maybe they are embarrassed about or whatever without people knowing it is them.......

Exactly

true and also sometimes there is another agenda

If you think they are a troll then just don't post in their thread.

However, you may find that many of them are genuine people wanting to give or receive advice. There is no real way to tell the difference (except in really obvious cases) so I think that we should all give them the benefit of the doubt.

What if one day someone heckles a genuine member with a genuine problem because of the pre-conceived notion that they are simply trolling?

Valid point. I don't automatically assume they are trolling, and most of the time I do give the benefit of the doubt. In this case, the poster advises other women to watch men closely from specific countries because they are skillful liars, so I questioned her on that. I'm certain had it been a man who just joined this site, come on here and tell other guys to watch out for women from certain countries because they're skillful liars, there'd be a storm of protests from the women on here.

Funny you should mention heckling, cos I just posted that phrase not too long ago on the thread in question.

Top advice here, mags....benefit of the doubt and all that. No one here is the 'board police'. But if you think someone's FOS, great....but WHAT IF you're wrong?

On the chance Steven's wrong, not only is he heckling her in one thread, he's mocking her and promoting bandwagon mentality in another.

So sad.



ME/NA IS DEEMED HIGH FRAUD. It's not just some sentiment pulled out of someone's azz, you know.

None of us are here to judge, nor have we really the right to do so. As I said before, if you think the OP of a thread is spouting rubbish or a troll PM a mod or the Captain. The Captain can look into the IP if need be and take action. The mods can lock a thread or keep an eye on it.

By posting in a thread that you believe is started by a troll then surely you are merely adding to the "drama" created by the OP in the first place. You are also giving the OP exactly what he/she wants - attention.

I think anyone whose foreign spouse is from that area knows that already. It's a dangerous jump, IMO, to go from a fact - high fraud area, to a generalization - Arab men are skillful liars.

New or old what happens to one may or maynot happen to another, to generalize and group all is what i dont appreciate and im pretty sure mena is not the only place to have these men/women that dont have good intent from the beginning. If you have a story good or bad tell it, as an advice type factor and go on, dont try to tell everyone else this is what will surely happen to them too.

As per mags, I'm continuing the other discussion here.




No, I wouldn't see it differently. I think you're crusading for no reason.

IF the story is true, then you're sat there, effectively harrassing a woman who's going through some serious heartbreak. Sure, you can make it a point to say 'hey not all are like that' for your conscience and move on, but why everything else? ANYONE who has gone thru this awful shiznit to get a loved one here, and then to find out (s)he's been duped has a right to be angry. How many of us here have heard 'oh (s)he's only using you for a GC?' then to have it happen....again, from a country deemed 'high fraud'....would be horrifying. Imagine telling your family and friends. Imagine the pain! And maybe.......JUST MAYBE..........that OP came here with the intention of helping someone else. Maybe it caused one petitioner to say 'hrmm, am I sure about this??'. What you automatically label as 'trollish' might actually be a selfless act of kindness. If the story is true, I'm sure the OP is embarrassed...I'm sure it's not easy to say 'yes I was duped and I loved him'.

And you've no doubt made it even more unpleasant. So bravo to Psychic Steven's 'troll patrol'

I didn't know whether or not the OP was a troll, so I merely questioned her assertion that Arab men are skillful liars. Geez, I hope we haven't gotten to the point that we dare not challenge or confront somebody, even in their despair, should they say something that others find insulting.

Yet you started a separate thread questioning her motives, inviting scorn...complete with link.

Huzzah!

I think most of us are sentisitve enough to give the benifit of the doubt when a new poster posts about being used likethis one, but also smart smart enough to see there is something more to the post. The recent falling out in MENA (and in other topics) with spammng the board about the horrors of Arab men maek me suspicious and I think Steven was NOT out of line in his questions.

There were a series of posts that led up to this and I had been following them.


http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...p;#entry1062098


My response to her posts were not demeaning or insulting to her plight, IMO. That's it.

Then again all I can stress is that you notify the mods, Steven. I think lal_brandow was the one handling all of the MENA spam, PM her and inform her that you think this may be another spamming post.

Again, replying to someone you feel is an obvious troll just feeds them.

I know, but it's so much fun.

...seriously though, when I read her thread, I didn't have time to look or make the direct connection other than wondering why all of a sudden all these broken hearted women who were married to Arab men are posting about their tragic stories, so I didn't really know whether she was sincere or not.

She's baaaccckkkk. She has three or four names here (you can tell by the constantly repeated very poor writing style and grammatical/spelling errors) and was banned was another site. She's very unstable woman who invents entire scenarios. When busted, she comes up with some excuse i.e. "I meant this poll/survey/whatever to be in a PM" . . .

really? I'm shocked!

Therein lies the problem, Fancypants.

As to the bit in red, you may not have had time to look, but you had enough time to act without certainty by starting this thread.

And you weren't even certain. Tsk

But it does tell us that not everybody are coming here because of love

Remember that one lady who had posted up photos of women here on VJ who were marrying Arab men on a website? That's who came to my mind when I read the first post. I thought - either she'll be soon exploiting this tragedy or perhaps she's behind this charade? hmmm....

Taking all the statements you've made in consideration, what you're describing is apparantly unsubstantiated paranoia.



Edit: quotes were snipped...click on the <-- at the top of the quote for it in the original form.

Remember that one lady who had posted up photos of women here on VJ who were marrying Arab men on a website? That's who came to my mind when I read the first post. I thought - either she'll be soon exploiting this tragedy or perhaps she's behind this charade? hmmm....


I dont know but she seems more like a hit and run type of person and not sticking to the same story and boring people.

if you guys see any more spamming by this member, please let me know.

Well put

Yup, Lal is the SpamQueen. Now, why do I have images of her covered in pink tinned mystery meat?

Thats funny. I am new, but when I saw at least 2 posts with different names and the same story, I actually thought about that that lady and the site too! But I don't know how to report to a moderator?

Just send us a PM with the link in it. Mods are myself (mags), lal_brandow and Yodrak.

My response to all of you is she is for real...if the post was repeated more than once...you can ask yourself possibly someone was copying her text...it is a possibility...based on experience I know that the information she gave is valid...what I am picking up from previous posts is that there are several people here that are very uncomfortable hearing the truth!! And, I think you know it is the truth - even if it was repeated...evaluate your own stories and compare notes...I think she was brave to tell you all what happened to her and I also think she is very brokenhearted and crushed...she is sending out a warning...so heed the advice and don't worry too much about how many times it was posted...it is still the truth...I have been on the website for a while and gained alot of information and help and I would like to thank you all for being courageous...but stop killing the messenger and focus on the truth...Amen. God knows how difficult this whole process is...and I am waiting too...patiently...God Bless!

Nobody shoudl have a problem hearing that there are men out there using women for green cards, that there are men who are liars and cheats. Everyone should go back and read the OP, it was an across the board attack on a whole culture based purely on one woman's experience. I can;t imagine anyone NOT being outraged at that!

Especially here in an immigration forum. I think we've slipped a bit on our wisdom if we are now allowing people to post negative racial, ethnic or cultural stereotypes as long as they tie it in with their own personal tragedy...."I was mugged while vacationing in Jamaica. Watch out for them Jamaicans, Cubans, Puerto Ricans, and Haitians...they're crafty in thievery."

Not only that -- but the fact is she is rather well known on immigration forums. Before being banned from the last site, she revealed that she was never married to the person she claimed to be married to, and was not even the person who filed a petition from him. So while her experiences with this particular man may have had some grain of truth to them, she embellishes (read: lies) greatly and very often attacks members. Before banned from the last site, she sent PMs to members attacking their looks and weight and demanding that the only possibility was that their husbands were using them for green cards.. The fact that she wasn't smart enough to NOT use the same screen name here reveals even more into her cracked pysche.

Geezes. People with alter ego.

So she's a known troll and the thread in question isn't locked down why?

I don't get it.

Thanks for posting

she was not a known troll at the time she posted it, and in the meanwhile the thread turned into a conversation that some of our members felt was beneficial. it was allowed to stay for that reason.

I think everyone here knows that the future is unpredictable. We could only guide ourselves to see our own future, not to control it. And, we are not kids. Everyone here have experienced that not everyone is the same. That is a big duh!

It could be that the person created a new account, but was on VJ before in the past with a different ID. That may be why she knows the features of the site, etc. I'm not saying this is the case but it could be.

The reality is that even if all the things she was saying were true, no one on a visa board is going to listen anyway.Until you are faced with the harsh reality of someone using you and breaking your feelings, you do not want to accept the pain or the truth. I have one friend who has been used by 3 different Moroccan men for papers since the 80s and each time, she went for the same type, illegal and no job here in Orlando. No one will listen to warnings ( not even me , ) so its futile for these doom and gloom people to post. Each person believes it cannot happen to "me" and then when it does most women are just too embarassed to scream it all over town because it means in her eyes she is unlovable if all someone wanted her for were papers. Getting used does terrible damage and trust me, you do not recover from it.. You never get your trust back