I feel your pain, But please don't waste a year like I did. This is my story,

I also was with a man from jordan I am muslim smart attractive funny. I loved him and thought he loved me. I waited for him for almost five years during that time I sent him money took care of his family when he came ect...

You name it I did it. I look Arab I speak Arabic and I cook Arabic I took on the role of being the perfect Arab wife.
I been around the culture my whole life trust me when I tell you this I did nothing wrong.

I went to see him every year his family loved me everyone treated me with respect and kindness inviting me for dinner going shopping with me ect...

We I thought where in love. He alwasy told me how much he loved me and I was his everything.

Behind my back last year I found out he got engaged to another women in his country!
When I first heard of it I thought the person telling me was jealouse of me because she is not happy wiht his brother so I thought our relationship made her jealouse.
When I comfronted him I was laughing and told him what she said.

And that is when I found out it was true! I could not beleive it! And even after I found out he said "I was his love blah blah blah"

I hung out even after that thinking maybe his family put presure on him ect...

Well he just had his wedding and I did nothing but feel misserable for almost a year thinking it was not true because he continued to lead me on making me think that he was not going to go through with it.

I am telling you those men from Jordan will lye cheat steal anything to come to the USA. And the sooner you realize it the faster you will be able to move on!

I have a hard head and I could not believe someone would use me like that. I also thought I am very attractive smart have a little money know the culture religion why would he not want me??????

But it is true they marry thier own kind no matter what and if they do stay with an american women it is because papers then the kids come and they are very loyal to thier children.

I was married before to a Palestinian that is how I know so much about the culture we had 3 children together whom I raised muslim and when I ended up divorced he was on a plane ASAP going back home to marry a women from over there.

Let me put you in the head of a middle eastern man

They are raised in an enviroment (remember I lived over seas for two years) watching the fatther go off to work all day long and left alone with the mother (Arab women have a hate for american women just like some black women do for white women because they feel like we take thier men) So the kids are at home being raised by women who dislike american women then they are raised seeing the mother never leave the home not even to shop. In thier country women do not leave the home unless she is older or escorted by a man. And most men do not want to escort their women out because they don't want to have a problem with other men.

The men are raised that women are below them and women are here to serve thier needs.
Now this will raise eyebrows but I am telling you this is a true statement (remember I am muslim) But the islam they practice in the middle east is to thier likeing.

They think of american women as slutty and they will date have fun with us but when it comes to staying married long term(unless you get knocked up when he is trying to get his papers) they want to marry thier own kind.

When they marry thier own kind they know the women will take care of them cook clean ect...and never complain.
They then have affairs because they look at the wife like the virgin marry who is the mother of thier kids so it is kind of hard for them to be sexually wild with the mother of thier kids.
If you look at the culture unless your blind you will see most Arab men secretly have affairs but will never leave thier wife.
Because they know 100% thier wife will never leave them it is thier culture and if she does her family will not accept it she will be an outcast.
The Arab women will cook clean take care of his mother bare his kids carry heavy thing and never complain!

She is bread like that. I know I live thier thier husband is thier life they are not a real women unless they are married.

And the women know if they do not do what they should he will take another wife.

They dont like american women because we dont listen.

If you want to go back to him start kissing his butt and he will take you back.

In the Holy Quran GOD promissing them virgins in heaven that is the ultimate heavan so what do you think then they want on earth???

Trust me when I tell you this I am telling you because I have a very very big heart and I hurt and had pain for almost a year living in a fantasy and it took me a real long time to get it in my head that this man used me.

The last words I had with him I was crying and told him I heard he was getting married this summer and he said yes his whole family was there for the party, laughing eating having a good time and then he said could he call me later?

I said no I want you to be happy good bye.

And that was that after five years of my life of doing nothing but giving and doing.

It made me sick to know that his family whom I did everything for and acted to me like I was so special behind my back was finding him a wife.
It made me sick to know that all his sisters and mother where dancing at his wedding and everyone laughing having a good time why I was hurt and crying.

This culture is monster have no feeling for man kind. I am not the only one that this has happen too. I just thought I was specail because I was muslim and I looked Arab but I am telling you the family will pretend to like you just to get what they can.

Thier whole purpose in life is to come to america! I lived in the middle east I was all over the middle east they are very very poor culture imagine you live in poverty where you are living 10 people in a house no one making decent money you will lye cheat steal to get what you want.

I beleive his plan was to marry her come here live with me and us work here make good money so he can support his family there.

I know a few Arab men(remember I been around the culture 20 years) that are married in thier country and living here in america with an american women that has no clue!
When the american women goes back home they send the wife to her mothers house!

The Arab women does not care because she is convinced her husband loves her and using the american girl.

Arab women are bread from little on to STAND BY YOUR MAN! They will never question him they are just happy to have someone take care of them.

I have arab friends now that are men and they tell me even though they are married when they go back home the mother is begging them to marry another one.

The women themself beleive they are not worthy they are convinced that they are nothing without the husband and they will do anything in thier power to keep him happy including letting him marry another women.

When I was over sea's my sister inlaw had 3 kids she went home one day and found a young girl in her home her husband married and told her to bad deal with it.

She left but ended up living in a very poor situation with her father and mother who where old so she ended up going back and accepting it.
When this happen all the women in the family where extra nice to thier husbands for fear it was going to happen to them.

PLEASE REMEMBER don't try to think like them they think different we marry for love they marry to reproduce!

Thier love thier life is not a women it is thier kids!

And they marry a women for her to bare kids and take and raise them to be good muslims.

If you go back to the middle east you will see the men have tons of male friends women are not thier friends we are just to bare kids.
They hang out all day with other males go home at night eat have another baby and then go back to work and to hang out with the guys.

Once a week they will stay home relax and family members will come to visit.

Think about it when ever you see an arab man here in this country he is with his friends and if he is with a women she is walking with the kids and he is rushing her through a shopping mall ect...

You will never seee them holding hands walking hugging. It is a rare thing and if you do you better beleive they are young or just got married.

I feel bad for you but I wrote all this in hopes that I help you because I was stupid and I really thought that he loved me.

I cannot beleive that another human being could use you but they can they are not like us american people have compasion for life.

God will protect you and will give justice you will be ok.

GOD BLESS YOU!

this was not intended to offend you I am trying to help I wish someone would have told me instead everyone did not want to hurt me so they kept telling me he loves me but is confused. In the end that only hurt more because I lost allot of good oppurtunities waiting for him.

GOD BLESS AND IF YOU NEED TO TALK SHOOT ME AN EMAIL

holy crap now *I* want a divorce!!!!

DOES MAKE YOU WONDER HOW MANY ARE HERE DOING THE SAME THING....

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. We Americans don't want to hear this, but I have to tell you, most of what you wrote is true. This is why it took me so long to marry my husband. And I still fear it. Many tell me to go on, just live my life with him, but I can't fully. I have seen just way too many marriages for the green card only. Even though many will not want to read or listen to your message, it's good that you did post it. It also hurts to read the truth. Now, I almost feel like I don't want to go through the AOS again with my husband in September. Now, I almost feel like I want a divorce. I don't know about others here, but to find out my husband only married me for the green card would be a blow to my ego and a knife to my heart!

Andrea

While this may be the experience of some, I have a problem with it being portrayed as THE TRUTH. This certainly doesn't describe my husband or my experiences.

I've seen this kind of thing happen more times than I'd like to admit. The OP makes very valid points in her post. It may not happen to everyone but it does happen. Very sad and sickening.

I know it's not everyone's case but it's scarin the crap outta me right now!!!!! I have a feeling a lot of mena men will be sleepin' on the couch tonight!!!!

Reminds me of a guy I used to work with. He said every freakin' Saturday he'd come home from being with the guys bowling and his wife would give him this nasty look and be in a p!ssy mood for a couple of hours till she calmed down. He knew after a while to go down to his "man room" in the cellar and chill for a while. She was watching Lifetime TV while doing the laundry and every single time it was about a man cheatin' on a woman or beating her or whatever and so here he was all innocent coming home like "what???? what did I do???"

btw welcome back Rahma!!! (even if it's only briefly )

((((hugs)))))

Mhmmm, likely story.

An thus raises the question(s), how do you know? How do you know when you've been hoodwinked? How do you know the difference between the man you fell in love with and fought to bring here, and a man who's using you as a ticket to his green card? And once you know, then what do you do?

You don't know until he's ready for you to know (if *he's* being dishonest). These men are extremely patient and will put up with a lot of BS to get what they want. Not saying that all MENA men are that way but many of them are.

Well mine is good at saying he loves me, but at the same time, he can be distant too. He's gotten much better and has recently told me he will never leave me, that i will see. I said, never say never, this is when God will test you. But i have seen too many marriages come to and end after green card. This woman has really spoke a lot of truth. Possibly a lot of us dont' want to admit it. She's very right about the culture. It took me a long time to marry my husband coz i believe it was for the green card. I know how badly they all want out of their countries. And I have heard many stories about a fiance or wife back home while he's married to an American or European woman, not the first time i've heard this happen. I found out my husband sent a lot of money home to Jordan. I mean a lot, and all behind my back. She's right also about the complaining part. Their women do not complain like we do. I don't know. I just don't know. There is always this wonder. Wonder too when there friends start coming here too, or their counsin, etc. Please, not all of this is for love.

I can honestly say that the thought has crossed my mind various times and that is why I keep my feelings in check...You just never know so I live my life to the fullest and if one day this will be my reality I will deal with it to the best extend that I can - I guess by nature or because of my past experiences I just never fully trust anyone and I mean even my closest family. It seems to me that as I go thru life a always find out that people tend to have hidden motives behind many of their actions/decisions therefore I just take life day by day making the most of it...I don't hold grudges and believe in forgiveness as I know that bitterness will just poison my soul... This is my personal perspective on life and one may see me as a very cold hearted person but this works for me.

I am sorry for anyone that has ever found themselves in a disappointing situation when the life that you are living turns out to be a total lie - that must hurt when you immerse your total being into a relationship that is something opposite of what one may believe.

Everyone is different and deals in their own way with life's disappointments - let's not jump to conclusions and pass any judgments we are are dealing as best as we can.

My prayers go out to all that are suffering.

Love always,
Dorothy

Oh they complain but most times they don't do it in front of their men. I've been with many an Arab woman and heard them complain. These women are just like any women. They're just a little different because of their culture.

Reading and will comment when I can see the screen.

Jackie

well most of the ones who complain are the younger ones. Yes, they do rant and rage but not like we do, sorry, they are in check or they might just get hit. I watched my husbands sister, he would be at work, she was home watching the kids, making his dinner or he would have a fit. She does work becaus ethey both need to work in the house, but there lives are not like ours.

Wow. Well, I'm happy to say that that is not a ME/NA that I have experienced nor is it what happens in my own household or in my family's house in Algiera (while I do understand that it is a reality for many many people).

I realize this is something that a lot of us are probably struggling with, especially coming having SOs from high fraud countries - how do you know that what you have with your husband is the real thing? Will he leave after the two year green card? The ten year? Naturalization? Is he using you for your money?

What I try to remember when I start to think like that is that you can never be sure of any type of relationship, no matter who you marry or what background they're from. There are many men right here in the United States who treat their wives the exact same way as you've described "all" middle eastern men treating their wives. It's a gamble... you just have to go with your gut.

I think that you are making very valid point - life is a gamble in itself...

here is something I posted a few days ago on a different thread in this forum but its what I would like to say here too:


Next time anyone anyone brings up the marrying for a green card issue just say, hmm, yeah, maybe he is... so what?

I mean, yes, that would suck but all of life is a gamble. its all about taking chances. I am sure there ARE some people on this board being married for a green card, statistically it has to be, and for those people I am so so sorry. But there are a lot of people that ARENT being used and hey, thats what each of us is hoping for. Love is always a gamble, a gamble on a broken heart, a gamble on being lied to or deceived or USED FOR A GREEN CARD but whats the alternative?

and what I always say to that kind of green card crap (although fortunately after almost 3 years married its pretty much a non issue for me now) is to point out that people like Scott Peterson and OJ and whatever that guy is this summer with the 9 month pregnant girlfriend and all those other wife killers/abusers were NOT from overseas, or looking for a green card, and in fact I bet Laci Peterson's parents loved Scott when they first met him, but that didnt help them any in the long run, did it?

the point being that as has been pointed out, when we choose to love we roll the dice. whoever we are, whoever our loved one is, its always a risk.

my family is somewhat concerned about the possibility about me being used for a green card. (as most of you well know) i personally can't imagine it being in our situation but how can you ever know? i'm sure plenty of women who have been used also felt like they can't EVER imagine their man was fooling them! are these men such good actors that they can pretend they love someone just to get a green card?! how can they be so patient, profess love, have sex, become close with families, and even become step fathers to some women's children? how can they hurt so many people to get what they want? its just sickening to me. i can't imagine very many things lower you can do to someone else.

i hope that men who do this are caught, fined/jailed, and shipped right back to where they came from and are NEVER allowed to come back!

Well, I think alot do want to have better life and leave their MENA countries. But that doesn't mean they don't want LOVE. Some WANT out, but won't sacrafice and USE someone to get it, but just increase their odds by looking to USC's or other places they may be happier. No different than going to Church to find a Christian or to a Hobby club to find someone with similar interests. I agree, I've been married before to USC and personally they treated me FAR worse than my SO. I am a bit concerned how this man pulled it off for 5 years. I've been with mine for 4 and yes, at times wondered. But what if this IS the real thing? Wouldn't I miss far more and isn't the happy time we DO have worth it? I can only hope it doesn't happen to me. I believe that if I do the right thing thats all that counts. No matter how bad someone else is to me....as long as I did the right thing and can stand before God with confidence in my actions. Nothing else matters.

really i've been to many 3rd world countries...and i understand how AWFUL some have to live. but possibly ruining someone's life, their trust, their hope in love.... is NO excuse, imho.

Ohh you are right, no question....Im not talking of those. Im talking of the ones that truely want to find someone to LOVE...but choose to find love outside their countries with NO intentions of all those awful things. Im just saying alot want a better life, to leave MENA and choose to look for REAL love outside that area. Sorry for the misunderstanding

Hello everyone, if you have not guessed yet, its me, JP. I check VJ once in a while to see how everyone is doing and today this thread was brought to my attention by a couple of members via yahoo messenger. I can see that many have come back or made new accounts to support Jackie, as I did.

This thread also intrigued me to make a post for 2 reasons. I respect the OP's opinions and her experiances and she had made SEVERAL valid points.

Now what I can say is its not only Jordanians that are bad and users as the OP said, I take great offense to this because I AM Jordanian, but anyone that is marrying someone where one party is going to gain something by that marriage is at risk. I am Jordanian and so is my husband and even *I* am at risk, NO ONE is immune to this. Its not just greencards, it could be money as well. Unfortunatly there is no pre-nup for a green card. However I have said this before on this board, and to many in private conversations. Although not everyone has bad intentions, MANY do. Even if he says he loves you, that doesn't really matter. He isn't going to admit to your face that he/she is using you. Many of these marriages do end in divorce, but the signs are there its just that love blinds people from being able to see them. I have seen many people tell me of their situations and they just don't make sense to me, that is when you need to beware. Try to look at your situation as a third party, if you had to give yourself advice what would you say. Its always so much easier for us to tell our friends advice that is easier said than done.

Now as far as Jordanian and Arab women being doormats as the OP described. This is partially true is you are looking at village people. People that come from small villages in the middle east do have this frame of mind, however people that come from larger cities who are educated don't treat their women this way nor do the women allow them too. I have lots of family in Jordan and not one of them has a relationship as the OP described.

Please don't be offended by my words, I only came to offer my advice to those that wish to read it. I often feel like arab culture is misunderstood in this forum because of a person's experiance.

JP

When my husband meets me at the airport he's not gonna know what hit him!

I think its rarely as simple as he used me for a green card. I think more often than not "he" saw the marriage as an opportunity for a future and took a chance. Love is not, nor should it be the sole basis for marriage. I mean you are building a life together, bringing two families together (if he is MENA then it IS two families not two people involved)..love will ony take you so far.

I know there are those that marry with the intention of it being short term, simply for the purpose fo the green card. But the majority of marriages that fall apart have other problems, other incompatabilities that were difficult to overcome. The cultural differences, the expectations of lifestyle, marriage roles etc do get in the way and can be even more difficult to overcome when there other other personality incompatibilities.


And these generalizations about Arab culture. Sure you can find examples of this in teh Arab world, that's why they are generalizations. BUT some of what is said is simply western interpretation of MENA- meaning, what you think you see is not what the reality is. I find the whole post rather offensive. Why do we insist on evaluating others based on our own experiences????? You can not paint MENA with one broad brush stroke, its much more complex.

Well said

Exactly. Marriage can't soley be based on love. Love comes about because we meet needs: emotional, physical, social and so on. Even in MENA, many things factor into the decision to marry. The family background, social and financial status, and many more concerns are factored in. THIS is the mindset of many Arabs seeking to marry out of their country. Call it marriage FOR greencard, or for "better future". Just because they want something better for their lives, doesn't mean they dont' love their spouse or that the marriage will fail. ANY marriage is seen as an "opportunity". You see an American man...tall, dark, handsome...and oh...did i mention rich? And the women fall to their knees. Opportunity for a good life. He can provide. Its ALL part of the considerations we make when deciding what WE need in a life partner. Once we marry, its up to us and our spouse to make it work. Now, with THAT said...do I think the horror stories happen?? Yes, of course. But my chances of him using me for green card, and leaving are JUST as great as my chances marrying an American man with our 60% divorce rate. Does it matter WHERE I take my chances??? If Im lucky, love will find me...God will protect me and I may just die old, gray and happy.

And I just have to add...think about what these fears that what if my husband is using me for a green card can do to the marriage? You may never speak these words, but these ides can manifest itself in other ways without us being aware.

If a woman fears the green card issue without sound reason to have doubt, that creates a lack of trust and what can be more damaging to a relationship. Bi-national bi-cultural relatinships have alot of misunderstandings by default.

I believe there are always clues that a marriage may not work from the start and often we are blinded to whose because we are in the middle of it all- hard to see clearly or hard to see through the eyes of a third party. If there are signals, then don;t go forward. If there are no real signs, then this "fear of being used for a green card" is saying soemthing more about your own insecurities .

Couples have to work at marriage. My husbands likes to say without problems, you can have no life. But sometimes we have to work on our own baggage as much as we have to work at compromising and making the marriage work.

Hey JP! You're a married woman now! How does it feel? What's new, long time no see here on VJ.

I couldnt agree more. On the one hand, no one wants to be blind to the signs, but on the other hand everyone should be careful about making or creating a problem where there isnt one. Each of us, women and men alike, should always be aware of what their 'baggage' maybe to contributing to the situation. certainly I know as well as anyone how difficult it can be to keep the little nagging doubt voices in your head in check but suspicion like this is just like jealousy, if you let it get a foothold it can really grow and become a whole issue in and of itself....

it does not describe my experience thus far either!

Not all African American women have a dislike for white women because you guys take our men. Funny! I dated a white man for two years, I guess white women would hate me????? Especially since he wanted to get married and took very good care of me i might add.



I read about this kind of thing happening online. These storied are everywhere. Women should not be soooo gullible!

I don't want to disrupt the openness of this thread (being that I'm a man) but I think this thread has a wealth of wisdom. Some really great posts here.

so if many of mena men are like this..makes me wonder how many of us mena wives will be married five years from now.

Hachemi has never given me any indication that he married me for a green card. We have been together almost a year and he is just as loving and affectionate as when he first stepped foot in the USA. I can not count the times a day this man hugs me, kisses me and tells me that he loves me. He is so proud to be my husband. If he is using me for a green card, he deserves an academy award.


Meriem

Doing well thanks, married civilly for now, the big wedding is on Sept 29th. Going crazy with wedding plans, nothing else new. I hope things are going well with you too.


JP

An alternative could be to marry someone that is American. He will definitely not use you for a green card. One less worry for some mena spouses.

I WANT TO TELL YOU HOW YOU KNOW?

That little voice inside tells you something is not right????????????

Even though he always re assured me that he loved me that little voice kept telling me I was being used!

LISTEN TO THE LITTLE VOICE!

Think about the times when a man really loved you, did you ever doubt he loved you or was using you?

Only when he really was and when you found out you thought you should have listened?

I am telling you 100% if it walks like a duck it is a duck!

Don't waste five years like I did.

I still cannot get it through my thick skull that someone would use me ME OF ALL PEOPLE smart successfull honest loving caring god fearing women I was used. I thought that happens to other people not me!

Something else sad I actually set his friend up with a girl I know and I have a strong feeling he is using her and I tried to talk to her and she don't come and visit me anymore she is conviced he loves her.

The apple does not fall far from the tree if his friends or family do it he will do it.

Next time you talk to your man ask him if you can come live with him in jordan see his re-action.

Mine would always say "honey don't say that God is bringing me back to america and we are going to have a good future together"
He never wanted to talk about me living in jordan.

Anyone want to message me welcome.
I want to help and save the world from my pain!

THANK YOU GOD FOR HEALING ME and maybe I can help others.

I am not saying these men are bad I am just saying this is part of thier culture we marry for love they marry to reproduce.\
look up honor killings on the internet if they can kill thier own sister or family member then why not divorce an american women who does not fallow them.
They have strong personalities it is thier way or the high way.

The men make good male friends and fathers THAT IS IT!

Hello. You know I was thinking, we don't know your name and according to your profile, you just jonied today. I added you on my yahoo messenger but it says that you are on my ignore list, but you are not. I know you were in love with a Jordanian, but you are not telling us your purpose of joining us here on MENA or if you are married again to another Jordanian as it says on your profile. Please tell us about yourself.

Andrea

You know, I know you have been hurt but I totally feel you've crossed the line here. Don't forget these are STILL our husbands you are talking about. I know I have joked today about wanting to give him hell and all that but I'm joking.

I have been hurt deeply by american men. A$$holes don't just come in one color/size/culture, they're pretty much everywhere. So are the good ones.

You could say look at all the pedophiles in America, so of course they can do this or that. I mean what is that. That's a big generalization that has no basis whatsoever.

Im sorry you got screwed but that's not the case with all MENA men.

just another fyi,

My jordan man was very americanized he smoke drank He was very open minded.
I thought he was open minded to be honest I could not even imagine him being arab he seemed very western but when it came to marriage he wanted an arab women.

by the way I dont drink or smoke but he did and tried to hide it from me when I found out I told him I still loved him and would not judge him.
He just never did it in front of me out of respect.

That goes to show you they want to act open minded but they want a good little arab girl.

I am sorry you were betrayed and used. It does happen and to good women. BUT what you are saying about MENA men is so colored by your uown experiences. Please do not continue to pass off your experience as the truth.

I have met men who exhibit the qualities you claim all MENA men have, btu I have met many many mroe who are nothing llike what you describe. And HONOR KILLINGS???? Come on...this just proves you know nothing about the culture or you couldn't ake such a blanket statement.

I'm sure you believe everything you are saying. I am sure it appears to be truthful, but you really do not seem able to understand Arab culture from the inside.

Bitter much?

I don't think the OP is out of line OR a troll for what they posted. You would have to be an Arab to know that most of what they posted is 100% true, its sad but true. I'm sorry if that is hurtful to some women here but her post helps just one person than she has done enough.

If you don't feel that its true, than good for you. But this does hold true for many. Many women have posted in VJ in another subforum about men that used them. It happens alot, however people always have that mentality that it will never and can't ever happen to them. The same holds true for many things in life.

The message she wrote, no matter how harsh it may seem hold a lot of truth.

please dont be offended I am not saying this to any of you, all of you know your husband I dont know anything about you at all I am warning anyone just like someone would who had breast cancer just of the risk I dont know you or your relatioship this is not intended for anyone who does not want to read it.

This is for all those women who have that little voice in thier head that is all.

I had a friend who comes here and she emailed me today to tell me someone is going through what I did so I came here to give her my supporst this post was intended for another thread but they placed it on its own.

It was not to bash your husbands.

It was meant for another member.

i don't think smoking or drinking has anything to do with it. i would love to see statistics but i bet an upwards of 90% of MENA men smoke, and at least 50% or more drink!

wanting a "good arab girl" is one thing, acting like a "good arab boy" themselves is another. lol

i'm convinced a lot of these men marry american women thinking they were okay with the cultural differences, thinking they could handle having a western wife. .. and once they get here and live here a while, they realize its not something they can do. the guilt factor could set it. the culture differences. i'm sure some come here with good intentions of it working out. just like i'm sure some of the women think they can handle an arab man and realize its not for them once they've been married. to each their own!

I am sorry for all those that are in pain and appreciate the sharing. For me I am not comfortable generalizing these concepts to all MENA men...in fact I dont feel comfortable generalizing any culture/religion..Sure there are bound to be some commonalities in a particular culture/region, however there are also many many differences in a person's environment (town, school, work, community) and family life that is certainly going to shape the person...maybe its just me for the social worker in me...but this is how I feel in my opinion.....

Right on target IMO. And it is not just MENA but anytime two people meet with very different cultures and knowing each other very little. Some couples get through the road bumps, many many others don't

you left out good for alimony too.

Please understand this post was meant in a way to understand thier culture it is different from ours.

Americans........marry because we love someone and can we spend the rest of our life with them

Arab middle east......have arranged marriage or marry thier cousin they know they are muslim and no they think the same way love will come later. They marry for children and someone to take care of them.

I did live in a very big city with educated people. All of you who are reading this and have spent time around the arab culture true or not true who takes care of the man?

I am not saying arab men are bad I am explaining a culture and please dont argue unless you lived there and no for a matter of fact yourself.

I was just trying to explain a culture that is it.

NOT A FLAME - It's no wonder why the middle east is the way that it is..........

tikbj - Good Luck and don't be hard on yourself.