that sounded like our house a couple of nights ago. lol. I have no idea what in tarnation we ate but OMG!!! We actually all three of us had to move to another room...twice!!!

Not ashamed, he does it, i do it, normal thing, Very important for me that we were open about things like that...My sister once dated a guy for 3 years that convinced himself women didnt poop or fart, and my sister developed anxiety about going number 2, and needless to say, it got pretty bad and she had to take meds for it....

yes he farts infront of me. funny thing is they never smell. they are as loud as can be tho.

of course when i fart the poor dog gets the blame for it. that wasnt me that was the dog!!!!

Before I even agreed to be his girl I had to ask him this all important (to me anyway) question:

Do you think farts are funny?

When he laughed his ### off at the question I knew I had a keeper.

He rips them wherever he is. He told me about going to Juijitsu class the other night and how one accidentally slipped during a match and the whole class was rolling around laughing.

I prefer to save them up for when I'm home.

One night we were laying in bed talking and one of us farted. We laughed and then I say to him, "You know, a fart is a turd honking for the right of way." so he comes back with, 'HEY, OUTTA MY WAY, A$$HOLE!' If I hadn't just gone, I would have peed the bed laughing!

We both do, although we tease each other by going 'ewww' afterwards. Luckily neither of us have noxious farts.

Trying to work out if you're serious here...
If you are, you're the first non-farter I've ever heard of - but as nobody ever believes me when I say I don't/can't/wouldn't even know how to burp (really!), then maybe you ARE serious!

I'm pretty serious. I don't know how to burp either. When I was younger (< 25),
I had no intestinal gas at all. Today I could probably expel (a tiny amount of) gas
forcefully if I bent down and tried real hard, but it's definitely NOT involuntary and
I just don't see the point.

what on earth does your diet consist of??

So you'll fart in front of your daughters, but not your husband?

Not just directed at you necessarily, but for all those who won't fart in front of their SO, is it because you think that they will find you less attractive or somehow detract from your romance?

I remember an episode of Sex and the City when they were discussing Carrie's first bowel movement at Big's house like it was some huge deal and the end of romance. I don't understand at all, are people under the impression that their SO is not aware that they have bodily functions like the rest of the people in the world?

my brother is the same! i've never, ever heard him fart! lol eating beans, cabbage, and all even! hahahaahhaah

You must have a perfectly functioning digestive system! Or something...

And there is no point - unless it's, uh, clamouring to get out, I see no point in making a special effort to magic up some gaseous emissions!

(And now you mention it, I'd say I was the same 'when I was younger', although maybe up to the age of about 18, rather than 25. Still no burping to this day, though. Hm... why am I talking about this on VJ?! )

######! This topic stink..


LMAOOOO

This is so funy

I don't really know why I don't fart in front of my husband (or anyone else). I don't find it terribly disgusting (unless it has a noxious odor). Actually I find it funny. I just don't feel comfortable doing it in front of ppl. I guess I think they'll think I'm gross or something. I dunno. My husband does it in front of me. He doesn't force it out but if he's gotta do it, he does it. He encourages me to do the same but I just can't get myself to do it. I kinda wish I would do it accidently to get it out of the way. Maybe then I won't feel so shy about it.

Anything, really. I can eat beans, onions, drink beer, and whatever else that
supposedly makes people fart - just doesn't do it for me.

maybe you fart but you just don't notice it??

i just did some searching on GOOGLE and from what I have read they say everybody farts...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatulence

that is probably TMI

OH see.. that's something I can't doo.. i can belch and toot infront of hubby, but never use the bathroom!

I think I would notice that.....

maybe you fart in your sleep....

Maybe - LOL

That's what I was going to say - you beat me to it!

Or maybe he farts all the time in public, and he has a condition where he can not hear, feel, or smell his farts, and everyone is too polite to say anything, but behind his back they call him "Farting Man".

Yes, but only in retaliation...

Yes, Jenn, that must be it

Guess you can't take a joke.

Interesting facts on farts...

How does a fart travel to the anus?
(Question submitted by Sigfrido H.)

One may wonder why fart gas travels downward toward the anus when gas has a lower density than liquids and solids, and should therefore travel upwards.
The intestine squeezes its contents toward the anus in a series of contractions, a process called peristalsis. The process is stimulated by eating, which is why we often need to poop and fart right after a meal. Peristalsis creates a zone of high pressure, forcing all intestinal contents, gas included, to move towards a region of lower pressure, which is toward the anus. Gas is more mobile than other components, and small bubbles coalesce to from larger bubbles en route to the exit. When peristalsis is not active, gas bubbles may begin to percolate upwards again, but they won't get very far due to the complicated and convoluted shape of the intestine. Furthermore, the anus is neither up nor down when a person is lying down.


Why do farts come out of your butt?
(Question submitted by the Perry family)

The butt is the location of the anus in humans, and by definition, a fart is an anal escape of intestinal gas. We should be grateful that we are not crinoids. The crinoid is a marine creature with a U-shaped gut, and its anus is located next to its mouth.


Is it true that some people never fart?
No, not if they're alive. People even fart shortly after death.


At what time of day is a gentleman most likely to fart?
(Submitted by David)

A gentleman is mostly likely to fart first thing in the morning, while in the bathroom. This is known as "morning thunder," and if the gentleman gets good resonance, it can be heard throughout the household.


Is a fart really just a burp that comes out the wrong end?
No, a burp emerges from the stomach and has a different chemical composition from a fart. Farts have less atmospheric gas content and more bacterial gas content than burps.


Is it harmful to hold in farts?
There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed for centuries that retaining flatus is bad for the health. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's health. There was a widespread belief that a person could be poisoned or catch a disease by retaining farts.
Doctors I have spoken to recently have told me that there is no particular harm in holding in farts. Farts will not poison you; they are a natural component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing that can happen is that you may get a stomach ache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result if a person holds in farts too much. And Dr. P. said that the effort involved in retaining flatus can cause hemorrhoids.


Where do farts go when you hold them in?
How often have you held in a fart, intending to release it at the first appropriate opportunity, only to find that the fart has disappeared when you are ready for it?
I asked several doctors where the fart goes. Does it leak out slowly without the person knowing it? Is it absorbed into the bloodstream? What happens to it?
The doctors agree that the fart is neither released nor absorbed. It simply migrates back upward into the intestine and comes out later.
It is reassuring to know that such farts aren't really lost, just delayed.

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

here is some more stuff on Farts...

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...512&hl=fart

We, I guess are not a gaseous couple...neither of us "fart" in front of each other.

This will help some I'm sure... HOW TO ESCAPE A FART



If that didn't work then here's the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1S9t8XFcOA

Well, I voted no because I make an effort not to do that while I'm with my husband. I will go to the restroom or another room. I don't know why really. I feel a little embarassed, even though I don't have a reason to. He and his 3 brothers keep the house pretty lively with theirs!!

But, me and my sister made a great tag team back in the day. Whenever we were together with our friends and someone got out of the car for gas, cigs, whatever- we would do our best to fill up the car with stench for the missing person. The worst time was when we were in a friend's car and the driver's side door wouldn't open from the inside. Someone had to always let him out of the car. heehehee He was trapped!!! He tried to climb out of the other side, but we wouldn't let him. We were laughing hysterically. (laughing gas, maybe??)

Oh, well. At least my husband has something to look forward to if I can get over that initial shyness.

Hey, it contradicts that one poster!!!!!!!!!!

Right........ so I'm dead now, am I?

I almost spilled my protein shake reading that

This topic, especially Mark's non farting life, reminded me of a silly joke my dad used to tell.

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says,

"Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they didn't smell and are silent."

The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."

The next week the lady goes back and says "Doctor, I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent they stink terribly."

"Good" the doctor said. "Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

Glad I could provide a spit take!

Mawilson needs that shirt lol

Guess I'm not embarassed....or maybe a little more practical..hehe...

We all "pass gas", fart, toot, whatever you want to call it....

bodily fuctions are a resounding source of laughter in our home... im sure it is intensified by having an 8 yr old so, farts fly freely in our home... if you are close enough to be considered family, then you get full exposure... and sometimes the laughter just perpetuates the farting, lol

my hubby is actually embarrassed to fart in public (only if there is someone else to hear/smell it, he is perfectly fine to cut one in the grocery store if noone else is in the aisle)... so, lucky me, he saves it until he gets *into* the car with me... arent i fortunate?? lol

maybe that is mawilson

In 'size M', please.

Ok,..i just copied this from where I posted in the other fart thread



Anyone ever heard of mr. methane,..

he was popular in Australia,..

The guy would lie on his back, in a sking tight lycra outfit, with his buttocks pointed upwards,..He would sprinkle baby powder on his butt, then fart, the powder was so u could actually see he farted,..but at the same time he farted, someone stood there with a blowtorch to light up the gas,,..and in and instant"Flambe' Fart"

he was hilarious,...

editted to add, I found his website,....lol

MR.METHANE



Once your in their,..find the dropping guts link,..and then look for the vid where he farts talc,..

JOdee

uh huh , i got nuttin to hide i just let em rip and so does my SO hahahahahaha

I try not no

Both of us really try not to...but we still laugh when it happens

OMG this topic has had me laughing out very loud - got to be one of the funniest topics in ages.
Still chuckling as I type this

Yes, we cleared that up right away - his culture doesn't believe in holding it in. My proper, Hindu MIL belches all the time(though I'll admit I've never heard her fart).

We joke about it all the time and even comment on each other's 'performance'.

Yes, I do. And in the shower its even louder. Under blankets its even warmer. Eeewwww! and I've heard her do it, just not when she has gas!

Why bother being uncomfortable... it feels a lot better after you let it rip