Full Version: Do you fart in front of your SO?
Better out than in!
I never fart in front of him.
... always behind
... always behind
no way (except if by accident) but it's such a turn off and a lack of respect from my point of view
To be totally honest I did keep them in around him for the first few times we spent time together, but once I started farting I never stopped... 
I do, but I try to blame them on the cat. Then my wife reminds me that we don't have a cat.
QUOTE(Matt85 @ Nov 15 2007, 01:39 AM) 
I do, but I try to blame them on the cat. Then my wife reminds me that we don't have a cat.
QUOTE(Matt85 @ Nov 15 2007, 02:39 AM)
I do, but I try to blame them on the cat. Then my wife reminds me that we don't have a cat.
We do have a cat and Derek tries that approach too. Usually it's when the cat is not in the room though.
just ripped one 
but there's stiff competition from our Rottweiler
but there's stiff competition from our Rottweiler
QUOTE(stina&suj @ Jul 13 2007, 06:31 AM)
This topic, especially Mark's non farting life, reminded me of a silly joke my dad used to tell.
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says,
"Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they didn't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady goes back and says "Doctor, I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent they stink terribly."
"Good" the doctor said. "Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says,
"Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they didn't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady goes back and says "Doctor, I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent they stink terribly."
"Good" the doctor said. "Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
chuckling! That is so funny!
QUOTE(mawilson @ Jul 11 2007, 07:19 PM)
Seriously guys, would someone please explain farting to me?
How does it work? Do you do it purposely because you want to?
Does it feel good when you do it? Or because it's funny? Is it involuntary?
I'm not joking, I've never farted and don't even know how (or why I would want to.)
How does it work? Do you do it purposely because you want to?
Does it feel good when you do it? Or because it's funny? Is it involuntary?
I'm not joking, I've never farted and don't even know how (or why I would want to.)
I'm worried about you Mawilson. I think thats how Spontaneous Human Combustion happens.
Someone fart??
There ya go! Just ripped another one 
Everybody pops so everybody farts no me off course
no me off course
QUOTE(Stacey33 @ Nov 17 2007, 05:49 AM)
I'm worried about you Mawilson. I think thats how Spontaneous Human Combustion happens.
I think I've figured it out. I always silently expelled intestinal gas during the process of waste
discharge. I never thought about it and never even noticed.
I still cannot do it voluntarily though (nor feel the need to.)
QUOTE(mawilson @ Nov 28 2007, 12:48 PM)
QUOTE(Stacey33 @ Nov 17 2007, 05:49 AM)
I'm worried about you Mawilson. I think thats how Spontaneous Human Combustion happens.
I think I've figured it out. I always silently expelled intestinal gas during the process of waste
discharge. I never thought about it and never even noticed.
I still cannot do it voluntarily though (nor feel the need to.)
Maybe you have a faulty sphincter?
QUOTE(Mister Fancypants @ Nov 28 2007, 03:51 PM)
QUOTE(mawilson @ Nov 28 2007, 12:48 PM)
QUOTE(Stacey33 @ Nov 17 2007, 05:49 AM)
I'm worried about you Mawilson. I think thats how Spontaneous Human Combustion happens.
I think I've figured it out. I always silently expelled intestinal gas during the process of waste
discharge. I never thought about it and never even noticed.
I still cannot do it voluntarily though (nor feel the need to.)
Maybe you have a faulty sphincter?
Why is it faulty? I'd say my system's working fine if I don't have any excess gas.
QUOTE(mawilson @ Nov 29 2007, 11:49 AM)
QUOTE(Mister Fancypants @ Nov 28 2007, 03:51 PM)
QUOTE(mawilson @ Nov 28 2007, 12:48 PM)
QUOTE(Stacey33 @ Nov 17 2007, 05:49 AM)
I'm worried about you Mawilson. I think thats how Spontaneous Human Combustion happens.
I think I've figured it out. I always silently expelled intestinal gas during the process of waste
discharge. I never thought about it and never even noticed.
I still cannot do it voluntarily though (nor feel the need to.)
Maybe you have a faulty sphincter?
Why is it faulty? I'd say my system's working fine if I don't have any excess gas.
Because the sphincter is a muscle....prevents you from making bird droppings randomly. The sound of flatulence is much like the sound someone makes when they press their lips to play a brass instrument. No muscle flexion, no sound.
QUOTE(mawilson @ Nov 28 2007, 02:48 PM)
QUOTE(Stacey33 @ Nov 17 2007, 05:49 AM)
I'm worried about you Mawilson. I think thats how Spontaneous Human Combustion happens.
I think I've figured it out. I always silently expelled intestinal gas during the process of waste
discharge. I never thought about it and never even noticed.
I still cannot do it voluntarily though (nor feel the need to.)
well, don't sh!t your trousers trying to figure it out..
QUOTE(Mister Fancypants @ Nov 29 2007, 03:02 PM)
QUOTE(mawilson @ Nov 29 2007, 11:49 AM)
QUOTE(Mister Fancypants @ Nov 28 2007, 03:51 PM)
QUOTE(mawilson @ Nov 28 2007, 12:48 PM)
QUOTE(Stacey33 @ Nov 17 2007, 05:49 AM)
I'm worried about you Mawilson. I think thats how Spontaneous Human Combustion happens.
I think I've figured it out. I always silently expelled intestinal gas during the process of waste
discharge. I never thought about it and never even noticed.
I still cannot do it voluntarily though (nor feel the need to.)
Maybe you have a faulty sphincter?
Why is it faulty? I'd say my system's working fine if I don't have any excess gas.
Because the sphincter is a muscle....prevents you from making bird droppings randomly.
Well I don't do that either.
QUOTE(mawilson @ Nov 29 2007, 01:26 PM)
QUOTE(Mister Fancypants @ Nov 29 2007, 03:02 PM)
QUOTE(mawilson @ Nov 29 2007, 11:49 AM)
QUOTE(Mister Fancypants @ Nov 28 2007, 03:51 PM)
QUOTE(mawilson @ Nov 28 2007, 12:48 PM)
QUOTE(Stacey33 @ Nov 17 2007, 05:49 AM)
I'm worried about you Mawilson. I think thats how Spontaneous Human Combustion happens.
I think I've figured it out. I always silently expelled intestinal gas during the process of waste
discharge. I never thought about it and never even noticed.
I still cannot do it voluntarily though (nor feel the need to.)
Maybe you have a faulty sphincter?
Why is it faulty? I'd say my system's working fine if I don't have any excess gas.
Because the sphincter is a muscle....prevents you from making bird droppings randomly.
Well I don't do that either.
LOL.... still...you should have a Proctologist examine your sphincter. Maybe there's an integrity test or something.
QUOTE(Mister Fancypants @ Nov 29 2007, 04:38 PM)
LOL.... still...you should have a Proctologist examine your sphincter. Maybe there's an integrity test or something.
My boyfriend takes care of that.....j/k.
QUOTE(mawilson @ Nov 29 2007, 02:15 PM)
QUOTE(Mister Fancypants @ Nov 29 2007, 04:38 PM)
LOL.... still...you should have a Proctologist examine your sphincter. Maybe there's an integrity test or something.
My boyfriend takes care of that.....j/k.
I think you've just answered your own question. A window that is fully open doesn't whistle when the wind blows.
QUOTE(Mister Fancypants @ Nov 29 2007, 05:29 PM)
QUOTE(mawilson @ Nov 29 2007, 02:15 PM)
QUOTE(Mister Fancypants @ Nov 29 2007, 04:38 PM)
LOL.... still...you should have a Proctologist examine your sphincter. Maybe there's an integrity test or something.
My boyfriend takes care of that.....j/k.
I think you've just answered your own question. A window that is fully open doesn't whistle when the wind blows.
LOL
I allow Mags to experience the joys of my flatulence every single day. Sometimes I even give her an entire-room-dutch-oven. (Fart in the bathroom while she's in there, then leave and hold the door shut....)
QUOTE(PlatyPius @ Nov 29 2007, 05:43 PM)
I allow Mags to experience the joys of my flatulence every single day. Sometimes I even give her an entire-room-dutch-oven. (Fart in the bathroom while she's in there, then leave and hold the door shut....)
Not if I can help it, I'm one of those who find it disrespectful.
If you're above potty trained age you can usually hold it in 'til you get to another room.
If you're above potty trained age you can usually hold it in 'til you get to another room.
Pull my finger
I don't fart the missus is around. I find my way to the nearest bathroom. She thinks I am too good to fart, so I don't want to disappoint her. Yet 
.
But in the near future, we will see .....
. But in the near future, we will see .....
QUOTE(PlatyPius @ Nov 29 2007, 04:43 PM)
I allow Mags to experience the joys of my flatulence every single day. Sometimes I even give her an entire-room-dutch-oven. (Fart in the bathroom while she's in there, then leave and hold the door shut....)
brother platy..you are indeed a right thinking type of guy and a man of character...
I wish this poll was titled "Do you fart before your SO?" as I have an old punchline handy.
Oh yes i do and mostly get it back, we both feel comfortable around each other so we let them go 
QUOTE(almaty @ Nov 30 2007, 10:51 AM)
QUOTE(PlatyPius @ Nov 29 2007, 04:43 PM)
I allow Mags to experience the joys of my flatulence every single day. Sometimes I even give her an entire-room-dutch-oven. (Fart in the bathroom while she's in there, then leave and hold the door shut....)
brother platy..you are indeed a right thinking type of guy and a man of character...
Please don't encourage him further.
When i was in pakistan i told him if your gonna give me that tea with buffulo milk then dam right your gonna hear me fart. He even fell for the PULL MY FINGER trick. hahahhahahahahahaha
QUOTE(nin @ Nov 29 2007, 03:27 PM)
Not if I can help it, I'm one of those who find it disrespectful.
If you're above potty trained age you can usually hold it in 'til you get to another room.
If you're above potty trained age you can usually hold it in 'til you get to another room.
I wouldn't, but it makes him laugh sooo
My husband does it in careless fashion. 
I tried not to. I'm shy....we been 2 years plus together but I'm still shy. 
Its human...
We both fart in front of each other. Why not? I didn't create the system!
We both do.
We went to Buffalo Wild Wings last Friday night at like 1am and Neil got their hottest wings and ate lots of other stuff too...long story short the next morning I went into our bedroom to grab some jeans so I could buy some eggs and he had farted in his sleep and it was so gross I actually puked. I had to open the doors cos it was flooding the entire house. It was so disgusting
QUOTE
We went to Buffalo Wild Wings last Friday night at like 1am and Neil got their hottest wings and ate lots of other stuff too...long story short the next morning I went into our bedroom to grab some jeans so I could buy some eggs and he had farted in his sleep and it was so gross I actually puked. I had to open the doors cos it was flooding the entire house. It was so disgusting
lol thats hilarious
QUOTE(Amber&Neil @ Dec 28 2007, 04:28 PM)
...he had farted in his sleep and it was so gross I actually puked. I had to open the doors cos it was flooding the entire house. It was so disgusting.
Me-oh-my!!! Yikes!!! That is too cruel. We always hurt the ones we love...don't we?As for me and the wife...we don't purposely bomb each other. I've never been in the habit of farting loudly in front of other people either. It's just not polite. That's not to say I haven't payed back coworkers in retaliation. I treat others as I would like to be treated, but payback is a motherf*cker.
Totally... and in case he doesn't realise: I also announce it
QUOTE(Jeraly @ Dec 30 2007, 03:28 PM)
Totally... and in case he doesn't realise: I also announce it
QUOTE(Amber&Neil @ Dec 28 2007, 02:28 PM)
We went to Buffalo Wild Wings last Friday night at like 1am and Neil got their hottest wings and ate lots of other stuff too...long story short the next morning I went into our bedroom to grab some jeans so I could buy some eggs and he had farted in his sleep and it was so gross I actually puked. I had to open the doors cos it was flooding the entire house. It was so disgusting
I would've killed him!
I made him get rid of the pukey trash bag. He thought it was hilarious! I was not impressed!
Finally, I farted in front of Nick! LOL
Oh oh, what have I started!!!
Oh oh, what have I started!!!
Do you fart in front of your SO? for me, a better question would be - do i ever stop?
QUOTE
Do you fart in front of your SO? for me, a better question would be - do i ever stop?
true haha
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