Okay, so first off, I'm frustrated as H-E-double hockey sticks! GRRRRR! My sweetie and I are waiting to file our I-129F until I'm divorced. Obviously we can't even start anything until I'm divorced. That's the way it is, I get it. What I don't get is why it has to be so darned hard in Canada to get divorced?! You have to wait one full year, and even then, if your ex is like mine and is dragging his feet, until all the papers are filed, nothing can be done.

He KNOWS that I need to be divorced as soon as humanly possible, yet he keeps on acting like he's retarded and saying there's no hurry, there's no rush. Well for goodness sakes! What an a$$hole! I need it NOW! I don't want to be married to him anymore at all! I want it over and done like a year ago. It's so frustrating. As soon as I've found someone I really want to be with, I have to wait for that stupid bonehead to get his $hit together! ARGHHHH!

Part of me wants to phone him and beg him just to do it. Heck, begging his new girlfriend is probably the better idea since she's the one who runs the show. On the other hand, part of me wants to be SUPER nasty and tell him that since legally I'm still his wife, that I can make his life a living hell. I'm not a mean and vindictive person, but I've got to say, him keeping me from being with the one I love is making me feel VERY nasty! It's not pretty at all!

I guess I just had to vent, somewhere where someone else could see it, and maybe sympathize. It's days like this where I don't understand why this has to be so darned difficult! Ugh! ~sighs~

*hug*

Hang in there, bonehead will get it together soon. And if not, I suggest you freeze some eggs, and find his car.

*cough* Ah, forget that last part.

Ahh he just does it to spite you. It is a common male trait, but the more that you show it bothers you, the more satisfied he will feel. Try being so nice and understanding to him that it is sick.. the game will lose it's pleasure for him when you begin not to care about it so badly.

Not caring about it so badly is the hard part cause I really do. I REALLY want to be with my sweetheart, but I understand what you're saying.

The crazy part about this is that he's such a slave to his new girlfriend. It's she who controls his every move and I'm sure it's her idea to spite me like this, just to be mean. She is one coldhearted woman. I don't understand how people can be like that.

Hmmm....frozen eggs, at the car I once owned! Hmmm...sounds like a fabulous idea! IF only I wasn't 6 hours away. Maybe I could recruit one of my brothers? ~giggles~

I totally understand you. It took us 8 months before we filed our petition last year because of his ex wife's lawyer. They were both agreeing on the terms of the divorce, but he kept doing research and papers like if she was fighting him to get the most of it......But they were both agreeing on everything, custody, money, splitting of stuff, etc.

Of course she was just plainly stupid to realize he was just milking her money and she dragged it a lot. Ended up she fired him after he charged her over 3000$ ( for terms they were both agreeing, so no fight) and my husband's lawyer did everything for BOTH of them for 1400$. And it took less than a month before everything was done once she took over the papers. Thing is that azzhole lawyer was an idea from her parents cause they always hated my husband and wanted to make sure he would sink down the bottom (even though they were agreeing , sheesh) and since she moved back with them and they are totally controlling her she wouldnt say nothing. Until my husband told her that it was their divorce and nobody else's business.... Then she finally stepped up a little. Im rambling but oh well so much frustrations that I got from that last year.

SO I do hope for you that things get better and that he finally cooperate. That is even more frustrating because it holds the whole process itself that is already long enough and not knowing when to start it is really aggravating. My fingers are crossed for you dear.

VENT AWAY!!!! Thats what we are here for!!!! I will keep my fingers crossed for you

Can you not go it alone based on the amount of time you have been seperated. I think if seperated (don't quote me on the following) for a year or more you can go it alone and all you would need is his signature, I'm sure he can sign his name can't he. My ex and I were seperated for 9 years before I filed for the divorce. I filed the paperwork and brought a lawyer to her so she understood what she was signing, all in all it took just a few months I filed in January and it was all over by March.
I do hope that you can find a quick solution and that your soon to be ex realizes that holding up the process is not benficial to either one of you. I do understand that a soon to be ex can be a pain in the ###ets.

Have you filed yet?

I filed mine before the year separation. Long before. I filed with the Court and had him served. I had to wait out the rest of the year to complete it though.

Separated can also mean (to put it in crass terms) since you last slept together. Many people stay in the same residence, though separated for the sake of kids, finances, children etc. Separated does not have to mean the date of an actual move out or legal separation.

Mo

Mo I really wish I'd known that! This would have been over a VERY long time ago if that had been the case.

Stacey, the problem is that he kept bugging me about filing the papers and decided he was the one that was going to file, which at the time, was fine. Now it's NOT so fine. He's got most of them done, and we're coming up on the year on the 16th.

He's got about 4 more forms to file, which my mom actually filled out for him and made copies and everything. All he has to do is take it to the courthouse, sign in front of a commissioner for oaths and file them. Our fingers are all crossed that that's just what he'll do, and before Friday!

This rule about thirty days AFTER the judge looks at the papers really sucks though. Why can't it just be done that day? ~sighs~ I guess we're looking at mid August filing of the I-129F.

Thanks for all your well wishes guys! I REALLY appreciate it!

I went ahead and did my own. If there's nothing involved it's just a quick trip to the courthouse to file the papers. Then another to pick them up. The thirty days will fly by so don't worry about that part.

Not quite sure what's with all the paperwork if it's just a straight forward divorce. You can even do down to the courthouse yourself and ask the clerks about it. Here they were very helpful as long as they knew I wasn't a lawyer I was working in a lawyer's office, but I'd already started the process on my own.

Amy my friend,

I've been MIA for a couple of days and I come back to this! I am so sorry to hear the ex is behaving like the king of all . We are all here for you - and you know where to find yours truly.... two blocks from your work!!!!

Cheer up, L.

Thanks Lenina! The papers were all filled out for him and photocopied and everything by my mother. Thank goodness she's up there to help figure this all out. Now all he has to do is take it down there and sign the darn papers and file them. Fingers are crossed that he actually does.

I can't wait till we can file our I-129F! At least then I'll feel better about sitting around waiting. At least it's not for nothing then!