Is there anyone at all going through the visa process who doesn't get accused by someone that they are just marrying for American citizenship? Never thought it would happen to me... but it hurt a lot when I heard that someone said that! I wouldn't be planning on moving to the U.S. if it wasn't for my fiancé's job, which he loves and I don't want him to have to give up if it's not necessary... I love my family and Canada and he does too!

Was it someone you know well?? I don't think I was ever accused of that by someone who wasn't joking Most of my friends & family know me back home and would KNOW that's not what I'm after. I wondered if the person who said that was just someone you are an aquaintence with.. in which case- put them on IGNORE!

When deciding who is going to relocate both have to weigh out what the best decisions are based on jobs and family. If someone is looking to use the process to leave their home Country with that motivation than the relationship is built on sand. In the end what really matters is being together for all the right reasons. A person that makes a comment like that isn't worth the time to respond if they really know you both and your relationship.

Dale
Tennessee bound from PEI

Others can think or say what they want and yeah sometimes it hits home and is hurtful. You know why you're making the move and that's all that matters. If they had a brain at all they would realize you're already leaving one great Country which has everything you need and going to another which also is great and has everything too including your fiance
TennCan is right, everything is weighed out on making the decision of relocating and in the end both you and your fiance know the decision is the right one
Those accusations are as worthless as those who make em don't worry about them.

Wow, sorry to hear someone was that insensitive to you.

Sincerely,
Ramos

My dearest Melyssa,

People say what people say. Let them choke. It's your decision, not theirs. Quick tip: always think that what other people think of me is really non of my business. If I (or you in this case) are so important to occupy their thoughts, feel flattered and don't give much importance to it. People like that need to get a life or be at least knowledgeable of all the sh!t we have to go through to get to the US.
Hugs to you, L.

It's a really long story... not really something I want to get into on a public forum. But everyone who really knows me well knows that there's no way either of us would want to commit immigration fraud, and that we want to do everything according to the law (and most importantly God's law, which demands that we do things according to the law as long as they are not sinful)... that's why we're in this crazy process in the first place. Sigh! I guess it's just hard to have to go through this process in the first place and then have to face other foundationless accusations in addition to it...but I know that what this person said holds no weight simply because it is just not true. I guess I was just venting.

I totally agree!

Yes, Canada is a great country and we both know I am giving up a whole lot by moving to the U.S.! He is too since he really loves my family and we won't be able to visit as easily at first (having to wait for AP, etc.)!

That sucks to hear. Through the process you unfortunately get to hear a lot of insensitive remarks made by people that are quite frankly blowing out of their butts, and this is to be taken on the sheer amount of stress and suffering that this process puts us through. I know I have heard a lot of comments (both good and bad) and the most important thing is that you know what's best for you. After all, who are you going to be living with 20 years down the road?

VENT AWAY!!! That's what we're here for. We know you and we know of your journey, and we're here for you.
As for those giving you a hard time you can tell them that I said
Peace, L.

I got out of school 4 years ago. When I met my husband I had just got done with putting my life on track. Means I had a good job for 4 years, new car for 3 years, I had just got done with having an appartment of my own with all MY stuff in it, all new, etc, etc. I worked hard for all that stuff. But hell, had to give/sell everything, go back to my mom's for a while, get rid of my car that I thought would last me 10 years and quit my job where all my friends were working and where I had just started to have a really good salary. Its not easy to start all over again from scratch when you are just finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I had to put a lot of projects aside too, specially one that I've had in my heart since I was a kid and I was getting close to it, own my horse and take riding lessons.

And since I can have a bad temper everyone knew to STFU!!! I had absolutely NO reasons to want to move to the USA, other than for my husband to stay with his kids. Career speaking We both had job jobs but we could both make the move, Canada or US wise. But I did it for the kids. Nothing can replace that and I would never take a father away from his kids. So everyone on my side understood that nothing would change my mind to be with the love of my life. And no one in his family ever dared to say shuch a thing because they understood how much I loved him and when they saw us together they all agreed that they had never seen him so happy since his teenage years ( long story but they all hated his ex). Instead they all told us just to get married right away and be done because they thought I would get citizenship right away (a classic).

That said i will never ever get why poeple would say that about Canadians immigrating to the US. Its not to blame other countries, but Canada is developped, there is good job opportunities, good life, etc, for most of us. I hear the GC reason more often about brides from India or Russia on VJ because it is a fact that its not easy to live in those countries. But why even bother saying that about Canadians....

My only Amreican dream is my husband. period. And no I would not dare to post this in other forums than Canada.

GREAT POST!

Totally feeling it this week... all the above.. I had such a wonderful job - was "on top" of my game, was making great money etc. I do have a great job now money wise, but i feel so DUMB at it.. the "normal" that I am used to in Canada is so different here, the basic "ways' of doing business seem very very different now. I dunno I'm just really discouraged professionally this week, and feeling very "dumb" at work. I didn't do this move for any other reason but the love of my husband.

A guy at my fiance's workplace made a comment like that ... he just totally laughed in his face. Canada has everything the US has and much much more (free health care for one really big one!!). The only way that a comment would come out of someones mouth is out of pure ignorance. Just take if from where it comes from

Melyssa, just one thing to say to those people when they make their comments, "Take to my as$, my head hurts" they don't deserve any better.

/hug!!


Seriously, I know I might get my EAD or GC soon......but right now I am dead scared of what kind of job I will get. Had great coworkers, more friends, and my boss she was awesome and I was one of her trustworthy employee (not sure if its the right way to say it) and I was doing something I like and I could pretty do whatever, take vacation or time off when I wanted for medical stuff or whatever, and we were going out for lunch all together at least once a month ( we were 17 in the department) and that was cool. I was working in a lab and was enjoying it a lot. My problem is that I didnt study in what I was working specifically, close to it but not exactly. So eitehr I will find a great job based on my experience, but im scared they might reject me because I didnt study in it and the salary in what I studied for kinda sucks and I dont see myself doing that anymore.....so Im depressed about it right now

I was actually making a witty response to this, but then the power went out at the campus.

Anyway, I think that everyone goes through this. I know I'm already fretting about what job I'm going to find in the States, and I'm not even there yet! It's going to be a long road and staying optimistic only helps to a certain degree, but just remember that you've got the support of your loved ones.

Because people are idiots and too many people assume that the U.S. is the "best country in the world" ignoring the fact that there are plenty of other awesome western countries like Canada, UK, Australia, etc. with much more awesome benefits (like health care!).

It's funny, everyone I told in Canada that I was moving to the U.S. they all said, "um... what? Why doesn't he move here instead?" We all have our reasons and right now for most of us Canadians here, it makes more sense for our USC spouse to stay in the U.S. career-wise or family-wise.

I would not be here except for my husband. Period.

What job will you be looking for post EAD/AOS? I have a lot of friends in and around Chicago. PM me if you'd like and I can ask around for specific positions or places that you might want to apply at later.

I do hear you on what you said though. I don't have much in way of formal education BUT I do have tons of professional experience. If I can't continue to just work for myself (there's always a chance that clients may need to chop their budget, etc.) I'd have to go and get a "real" job and my lack of formal education is what kind of scares me to have to apply at places. Hopefully my practical experience and portfolio will suffice (I have a background in graphic design and project management).

Exactly, all comments on my side were like "Please dont become an american!"

Oh man. I hope this doesn't happy to me, because I'm already on a hair-trigger when it comes to my, uh, differences of opinion with the US.

I don't really want to whip it out and flatly state that 'only love could drag me south of the border' since I don't really want to open that can of worms; perhaps I will give them my best snooty, educated, bilingual, at-least-I-don't-eat-white-gravy look and say "Are you mad? I had subsidized tuition and free healthcare. Free healthcare. Why would I ever want to leave Canada? As soon as he's done his PhD we'll be departing immediately for civilization."

Okay, maybe not that last part.

I am totally with you on this one, I just quit my job, moved countries and living with my parents. I am waiting for Ramos to come and get me. I am feeling all the same things that you are right now. Its pretty scary and having someone tell you that is just mean!!! Don't worry about it and just think about whats to come. Thats what i do.

I get a lot of people asking if I'm going to start working for US customs instead. Hell NO! I think we have it much better on the Canadian side.... Sorry, no offence Zyggy. The US side may get paid more in the long run but the Canadian side has a stong union that stands up for their officers and better leave entitlements. At least that's my perception from talking to my US counterparts.

As for the just marrying for US citizenship, most people know better and just say that to get a rise from me. I just start listing the huge list of sacrifices that I am making just to live 3 miles across the border with my husband. Only reason I would take US citizenship would be so I could move back to Canada and still be able to spend as much time in the US as I wanted without "wearing out my welcome" and risking having trouble at the border.

That comment is hilarious. For American citizenship?? Like we are dying to get into this country... *sigh*. I side with many on here that KNOW that if our loved one wasn't here, WE wouldn't be here.

Carla

I was just going cause of the man I love, now I guess I'm going so I can get a damn doctor, UGHHHHH, we might have free healthcare but it only works if you have a family doctor, then even....
I never even considered American citizenship, but I guess Neiks is right.

I have not yet except from friends been teased about going to the States, and to them my comment is, has been and always will be the quote in my last post which should have read (talk and not take), if they can’t be positive I don’t want to hear it. Sharon and I are going through the process to be together and if there is a denial of any sort at the consulate I will keep my job and bring her here, which is something we have talked about often. My sole reason for going there is because her parents are both alive and she is looking after their affairs.

Mephys...this is same reason my beloved Joel came from Nova Scotia to be with me...my daughter. There was no way I would have been able to emigrate there...and believe me I want to more than anyone here realises. But my daughter's biological contributor (hard to refer to him as her father) categorically and in all ways possible refused and threatened to take her away from me if I ever tried. I had a hard time getting his permission to apply for her passport! *sigh* As soon as it is possible for us to freely go home...yes home for me too...we're quitting the USA.

I've had the "he's just after you for a green card" comment too. All I can do is laugh...who in their right minds actually WANTS to move to the USA and give up what Canadians have!!! Oh Puhleeeeese! My husband has had a much harder time finding work and hasn't been able to use his college education here, which wouldn't have been a problem back home. No matter that he's worked in his field back home. His credentials are "out of date" here according to one college we checked with when asking about transferring his transcripts to the equivalent to its US counterpart. Makes me angry sometimes...we go through this immigration process, open our very lives and souls to these people at USCIS...for the privilege of being with the one we love most in this world...only to find that once they're here, things aren't any easier. Yeah, for some it has been...they've been able to find work immediately, possibly in their field...it just hasn't been that way for the majority of us. It hurts me to see the despair on my husband's face when yet again he has been turned down for a job or just doesn't hear a damn thing from the job posting.

Sowwy Melyssa...didn't mean to hjack your thread with my ranting.

I'm with you guys, and I'm the USC. The ONLY reason we are doing it this way, is that the way the housing market is right now, there's no way I would be able to sell my house without a HUGE loss. If I emigrated to Canada, and moved to Windsor, I would actually be CLOSER to my work. We simply didn't want to deal with the hassle of selling two houses and buying a third, and plan a wedding, all in a span of time determined by immigration.

But, the future, who knows what it will hold. I should be able to get the equivalent of a TN-1 visa to immigrate over to Canada. We just want to actually be together as quick as possible.

Ah, the joys of living in a border town. All this so the woman I love can *gasp* move in with me 8 miles away from her home.

That really sucks for you guys IMO. For only 8 miles. All this bullcrap. Ok , ok I know its still 2 different coutries, but they really should have a different process for canadians/americans because it is more than likely that Can-Am couples are gonna be formed because they have a lot more chances to meet in everyday life. I think its not fair for either of us, but for 8 miles, its REALLY not fair. At least I moved for 900 miles which made the effort a little more worthed.

Don't let anyone not in the Canadian forum read this or you will be sent through the ringer until your as flat as a beaver tail.

So true! If something like this was posted in OT - omg, I'd hate to see the aftermath...

Question.. how does the EU handle cross- country marriages? As I understand with a EU passport you can work/live anywhere in the Union.. so does that make it easier for those couples?

POINT: NAFTA... holy frig we got a SH*#*y deal out of that one..

Frigger Molroney!

I think with the EU, you just go live there... there is probably some sort of formality with registering residence but I'm pretty sure you can just... move wherever you want. Actually now I'm curious. I'm going to look it up!

Yeah, NAFTA... we definitely got a bumrap there.

FYI: http://europa.eu/scadplus/leg/en/lvb/l33152.htm

Seems like a pretty sweet deal to me.