What Washington Post article? Is it online? Could you post a link? Wow, didn't know VJ was so well known

Polarbear, I don't have the link but I know it's floating around the topic "Waiting for an NOA2 from VSC for your I-129F?" Actually VJers are the ones who contacted the right people to get the article in the Washington Post. Amrssnowangel is even quoted in it (way cool!).

Somehow I missed the whole bit where there were some nasty comments and now I can't even read them! As negative as I heard they were, I still wanted to see them.

I have other comments on the article but I will keep most of them to myself for now, at least until I get home and read the article again. I just feel like the article, even published front page, really didn't do the separation and the anxiety of this process justice and dropped the ball. It had the potential to be so much more than it turned out to be.

We'll see, sometimes a ripple can turn into a huge wave (or however that saying goes)...



Anyone hear anything lately?

first page in ot
Finding Love Abroad, Then Support Online for Visa Quest
in the first page it has the link to the original article. on page two, if it's working at the time, you can review the comments on the article.
bonus points - figure out which one is mine

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/conte...ews&sub=new

I'm not surprised by the article or the nasty comments. It's pretty typical stuff. Basically calling VJers pathetic and desperate. It's obvious that it's not the article that the VJ contributors thought it would be.

We're even famous on Egyptsearch now! Not in a good way though but what else is new. lol

http://www.egyptsearch.com/forums/ultimate...ic;f=3;t=003877

oops

Yeah I saw that, too. Figures.

Trust me when I say...I spent a long time explaining the process in Egypt AFTER we finally get NOA2's. I stated of few of your stories of waiting, seperation and that the entire system needs defined and centralized in its process and proceedures. You were ALL on my mind when I spoke with the reporter. I know what lies in front of me yet. We probably wont see our noa2 till January or February at this point. Thats 7-8 months AFTER filing our K1. THEN the interview, THEN how many months of AP????? ahem...trust me you were each on my mind.

heheeh Doodlebug...i spent many afternoons on Egyptsearch...stopped going there long ago. Couldnt hack the negativity there.

Well your intentions and what was printed are two different things unfortunately. Instead of portraying the difficulties of people trying to bring family here the reporter seems to have mocked members of VJ saying that we're addicted and obsessed.

I think and hope this will make people think twice before contacting Oprah.

I agree with you, Doodle, 100%.

Thank God no names were mentioned of those who were not directly involved with the article. How embarrasing would that be?

Sad, but very true!

No offense to you here....but this article started out as a cry for help in the NOA2 waiting. It was originally about work visas and other visas taking priority over family. Personally I dont think it made us look desperate. Sorry you all feel this way. I would NEVER have mentioned names from here without permission. Im sorry you have had to wait so long. I did make mention..but doesn't seem to be appreciated. I could have just thought of myself. Wow...think your doing sth nice.....not my fault the reporter had a different take...we tried...so much for thinking of others...

If it came off that i was offended, i'm sincerely sorry, because i don't feel offended by your actions. I'm actually grateful to you for thinking of everyone, that shows what a special person you are.

What i did and do find offensive was the way alot of people interpreted what we go through, it's just not right and really got me down . It does make me rethink about Oprah or any other show, right now it doesn't look like a good idea after all.

Hugs,

Ayesha

I for one would like to thank you for making the attempt to make our voices and hearts heard.

I am sooooooooooooo sorry....I did misinterpret...hmm gotta hate typed words at times....

You know...it doesnt matter..what matters is we are HEARD...someone WILL get the story and get it right. But we cant just sit and do nothing. No matter how it shows...or how somoene may twist it...we have to be heard. What is going on in MENA is downright nasty.

I found a civil rights group online...I sent a message to see if they can help.. they USED the article on their front page. Look...


http://www.civilrights.org/remote-page.jsp?itemID=32471700

These sites also picked it up to name a few:


http://www.brijit.com/abstract/5954/Findin...-for-Visa-Quest

http://www.civilrights.org/remote-page.jsp?itemID=32471700

http://politics.propeller.com/story/2007/1...-for-visa-quest

http://www.citytools.net/showstory/C198DB6...0-F3337A10A9B7/

http://en.redtram.com/go/65248984/top100/

http://www.mylder.no/go/4579024

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=490366

http://jezebel.com/gossip/restricted-impor...here-316293.php (link towards bottom of page)

http://www.my-e-site.com/romanceandrelatio...ashington-post/

http://www.dctourist.net/

http://www.programdown.com/internet-haberl...support-online/

http://globalgeopolitics.net/wordpress/?p=31654 (link half way down)

http://www.my-e-site.com/romanceandrelatio...ashington-post/


This is just the start. But if a civil rights group used that article...would they help MENA petitioners as well waiting???

you can send your story to them at:

http://www.civilrights.org/about/contact_us/




Thanks for clearing things up. I am sorry. I have a mom with Alzheimers, father with Pick's Disease and our NOA2 on hold for who knows how long..then anticipating the AP after interview. Just killing me.

I don't think I can either after reading through some topics... I don't know if I will be going back, but couldn't help but post in regards to that article

I know that your intentions were good mashallah. That is not what my point was and I'm sorry if I came across as harsh. My point was regarding the comments to the article online in the comment section. Did you read them? Maybe I could give the reporter the benefit of the doubt but it just seems, as proven by the comments, that the article kind of backfired and instead of making it about the visa process it was made about visajourney specifically.

It's kind of what we were saying about Oprah. Sure people would have the best intentions at heart by talking to her but what will come about in terms of feedback won't be so pretty because unfortunately if you are not directly involved with this process you really have no clue what it feels like.

That's the whole point of vj to some extent. I cannot talk about this stuff to my family or friends in the same way as I can to you all because they can only commiserate to a certain extent and then they reach the point where they cannot relate.

Again, your intentions are appreciated but unfortunately it looks like the message didn't come across that well and I don't really blame you and the other contributers but I do blame the reporter. I'd be po'd if I were you guys and I'd write the reporter my thoughts if I were you.

I don't feel there is anything wrong with petitioners and beneficiaries speaking out for the cause. And I applaud U.S. Wendy for doing this. The article could have been worded a little differently, but all in all it was ok. I think so many people who read the article got the wrong idea. Perhaps her case wasn't the best case for for rounding up sympathy, but at least she did something about it instead of sitting around moping. People look at her case and just think she is being used for a greencard. Their ages are very different, the beneficiary is a man, etc. we all understand that she is suffering and can relate to her plight. I wish it were one of us that wrote that article and not the reprter that actually did. Hell, they should have allowed Wendy to write it! I can't understand why any members of VJ would feel ashamed or embarrassed. You should be thankful that someone is making an effort to get action.

Exactly. The reporter could have done a better job of telling the facts and not making Wendy sound desperate or used. It kinda came off that way. I have to agree with this.

Group hug hahahaha. Don't worry about it, it's great everything is clear, and yessssss typing sometimes makes it difficult!!

I'm checking out the links now .

Hugs,

Ayesha

I don't see why anyone cares about the comments. Practicly everyone here is hiding behind a screen name and so are those that left the comments. I know it can be hurtful but this is how people feel. There are people on this site that experiance those comments in real life. Like someone mentioned earlier, after 9/11 its not like people are going to welcome young arab men into this country with open arms. Their first impression is going to be the same as most of the people you know. He is using you, haven't you seen not without my daughter, he is going to beat you, bla bla bla.

Visa Journey has so many members now, it was only a matter of time before it was unveiled.

So I'm not the only one who thought the same thing.

From a journalism perspective, this article really pissed me off at how incomplete it was and how little research the reporter actually presented.

But for those of you who actually spoke to her and got her to write it, good for you! But that reporter did none of you any justice .

The comments are not important. Whats important is it is getting NATIONAL attention. No matter how the reporter made the article...many would be negative. But Wendy knew going in it was MOSTLY about Visa Journey...NOT about the visa process. We just hoped the reporter would use more of the information we provided regarding the horrible wait times and unfairness of this journey. The main idea...is that we get recognized. There is something about name dropping. So when we email someone like Oprah...we say..Im one of the members of the group recently featured on the front page of the Washington Post..... gives us more credibility. Doesn't matter how many negative commenters there are. We are going to get that no matter how GREAT the articles are written. Either way, Im sure USCIS doesn't like their faults and failures on the front page of the Washington Post. It WILL spread. It takes just one person, one voice to get the ball rolling sometime. This article is ONLY the start.

I think she did a very brave thing, and more like this could be encouraged, but people have to realize that it's not just some easily dismissible fifteen-year-olds. It's adults, with the vote, who read the story and thought 'wow this woman is being used for a greencard by a terrorist.' I don't know if my mother's seen the article, but I'd be willing to bet that if she did, she wouldn't even recognize it as the process that her son-in-law went through. The comments ARE important; that's how people who read the article reacted.

This probably doesn't get better on Oprah. Political movements have to be as savvy as politicians. You know why Rosa Parks became famous for not giving up her seat? Because the civil rights people were smart enough to realize that the woman who had gotten tossed off before her, a younger woman (can't remember her name, she may have been a single mom) wouldn't look nearly as sympathetic as an older pious woman. They wanted someone whose motivations and character couldn't be attacked.

You want sympathetic, get allousa's story (got drama, a sick mom, a cute baby, a long wait for someone already legally here once.) Find someone educated and articulate and a couple that looks as 'normal' as possible, maybe someone who lived together a long time overseas. I think it's great to organize, but reactions like the commenters' are going to be the norm, not the exception.

I agree with you, Caladan. You've made several good points.

100% right Caladan.

To those happy with the article.....did you read it?

Right on Caladan.

I read part of that thread on the Egypt site, and the only thing I can say I agree with is the sentiment that it makes us look weak and codependent for our partners to get here. Like 'omG! how can I eat when he's not here!'

Yes, the waiting is awful....yes, the disparity in wait times between family based petitions and work petitions is upsetting.....but that needs to be highlighted in a non-OTT way.

That wasn't very nice to say. We are all in the same boat here.

Easy for YOU to say...you filed after I did by a month and chances are you will get your noa2 long before me. CSC is working mid June already..Im being told I will have to wait probably past my 6 month mark BY USCIS. So before making comments about how "desperate" you dont want to seem...wait as long as US Wendy did...or many other from months LONG before yours STILL waiting for noa2's or visas to be issued. I wont lie...Im desperate to have my man here because I love him and want my life with him. In no way does desperate to have him here equal codependence. And no matter WHAT we say...even if the beneficiaries were ALL Irish in that article with NO age difference, the reaction would be the SAME. I KNOW..I married an Irishman and my sister in law swore it was for greencard. Doesn't matter what is said or how the reactions will ALWAYS be the same. Because they are not living here when we find them.

Sorry, I find it to be drama & histrionic. You (general you here) managed to make it thru the day before meeting your partner, didn't ya?

For reasons I shall not disclose publicly, my fiance and I haven't seen each other in the flesh for 16 mos.

And no it's not 'easy for me to say' but it's the truth as I see it. I'm not going to ball myself up under the covers and die because this journey of ours has taken so long. It's life. These are our choices and we both knew what we were getting into. And I actually find it especially hard since we lived together for 3 years and now all that's changed as well. So there were a lot of adjustments. But life goes on....we make due and get through the day...since every day is a gift, I'm not going to spend it crying over what I can't change.

So stick that in your pipe and smoke it before talking to me about wait times...

This is not real strife. There are people dying right now....mothers burying their sons right now....there are people fighting for their lives right this very second. If this wait is the worst thing that's ever happened to you (general you here), then I envy the life you've had up until this point.


And as far as you saying I was unfair.....well, with the response that this article got, let alone how ridiculously obsessive the author painted VJers, let alone how half azzed an article it was in the first place....well I can't really imagine how anyone could be satisfied with the outcome. It did serve one purpose...couples in int'l romances who previously did not know about VJ now might come here. So it's good for traffic. Ewok can be really happy with it.. As for 'getting the word out'....regular Americans aren't going to give a toss about the 'plight' of a chosen path that we've all willingly pursued. Write your Congressmen/women...lobby for change...but 'getting the word out'? In this day and age, that article will be of more comfort to those concerned with security issues rather than a call to arms for people to help bring about change because we're tired of waiting.

I'd love to be able to respond differently, but I honestly can't in this scenario...

Brava!

I always think it's interesting that people cannot function from day to day without their man with them. Of course I am happy that Hicham is here, but I wasn't miserable every single day while I was waiting for him. I'm not sure how healthy it is to be so dependant on having a man in one's life. That's just me I guess.

Some might perceive not being all torn up about not having your SO here as just not caring as much, i.e. not as deep of a connection, etc. It's all the way you look at things, and I don't think that trying to humiliate people for missing their SO via calling codependency is what this site is for.

The more national attention this gets, the harder it may be for us to bring our loved ones over in the future. Even though my husband is from the middle east he has commented on how many middle eastern men are coming here. Although he does like it here, he says there are pluses and minues from Egypt and here, he does not feel the U.S is all that he thought it would be. Back in Egypt everyone talks about how rich everyone here is and he's learned first hand how far money doesn't go. I don't post here often due to the spats. I've read numerous threads on break ups and red flags. Women do not want to feel they are being used, but there are so many here with red flags hanging right in their faces and they choose to ignore them. I think the more attention this gets the more people will bring up age differences, religious differences, etc which could have an ill effect. He case could get ripped apart more than they even are now.

I'm sure this is not the first time someone has wanted to bring this to national attention. Face it, when we go into these relationships, we know it is not going to be easy due to many factors. I know how hard it is to wait and wait for you fiance or husband to get here. While we were on AR my son was placed on the list to have a kidney transplant. Not even that was considered enough of a medical emergency to speed up the process. I accepted that and went on. I had to be strong for myself and my son. Really, when I see people here say how depressed they are I wonder exactly what is going on in their life that makes there life so depressing. Are you depressed because you cannot be with the one you love, or are their other circumstances where you really need that person to comfort you. My husband got to meet my son for 6 days before my son had to leave us. Do I blame the goverment for this? No. Who knows, maybe if things were not being so nationalized, my husband could have been here sooner.

I agree Jenn.... alot of it has to do with the wait though. I have been in the visa process since January and am going on 11 months with no end in sight do the CSC slowdown and now the crash at NVC// I could never imagine bashing another VJ person for missing their spouse. This paperwork has gotten me very down and strained me in every possible way.. financially... you name it

You're exactly right. Everyone deals with separation in their own way. It got harder for us to be apart the longer we were together, but we also talked much less on the phone, too. I'm sure some people would have thought of that as a red flag, but god, what would we talk about for two or three hours a day?

I really should send this article to my mom. I have a feeling, that as kind a woman as she is, her reaction will be 'No wonder it took C. so long to get his visa, look at all the people they have to sort through!' I fear that the sum total of the article is to just enlarge the stereotype from guys-marrying-Russian-brides to women-being-duped-by-poor-young-men. I guess it's progress of a sort, but it would take 100 more of these articles and a lot more crap being slung.



For what it's worth, the slow down is for everyone, not just the CSC; they had to pull people to work on I-765s (law says they have 90 days from filing) that were massively filed at the end of July.

Our I-765 is still pending. Actually it makes me laugh because he got his green card nearly 2 months ago. You would think that they would just automatically cancel it out of their system.

Like I said- that's just me. We're all different and handle separation differently. I personally cannot understand how some people can't function without their SO and I'm sure that others can't understand how I and maybe even others are not in desperation while waiting for our SO's.

My intention was never to humiliate or bash.

Nor really was mine, tbh. So I should apol for sounding harsh, but I'm honestly just giving my POV without malice towards anyone.

Jenn, I am not bashing someone for missing his/her SO. But to say things like 'I'm obsessed...it's all I ever think about'...well that's really all fine and well for each individual person, but when one is speaking as a member of a group, it gives off an impression that everyone's like that.

Which is what I'm taking issue with...I think it paints all of us in that light of 'I cannot function because my partner isn't here'

If someone wants to bash me for implying or outright saying I don't care enough for my fiance...well, I'll just laugh in her face, really. Cos at the end of the day, I don't need to justify my feelings to anyone...so (s)he can think what (s)he wants....

I once saw a guy with no arms paint beautiful pictures with his toes. Hell, if he can function, so can I.

As my dad always says 'no one's shootin at ya!'

Thanks for clarifying, Lisa (and Sarah). I have to agree that I wouldn't like it very much if someone were to jump to conclusions about me and my relationship based on what they read in the article.

I only said something out of concern that people might feel hesitant to post here on VJ about anxiety over their separation out of fear of being ridiculed for being too "soft". Some of us breeze through this, and others can't function. I would guess that most people fall somewhere in the middle. I know that for me, it's important to appear to "have it together" to others. So during our separation, I didn't really vent to family or friends, just put on a happy face. Some days were a lot harder than others, though no one really would have known it.

I think that many of the things written here regarding the pain of separation are somewhat exaggerated. Most people get up, go about their daily business and get it all done, and maybe b!tch and moan a little bit along the way. If venting on VJ helps make things easier, then I say go for it.

I can certainly function without my husband. Most times I'm ok with the separation but I gotta tell ya this last leg of the journey is starting to get to me and to him. I can't imagine for him not knowing from one day to the next if you're going to pack up all of your belongings and leave the only country you've ever known. His business is suffering because of it because his clients know he's leaving so they don't want to be so dependent on him, his friends are starting to drift away, etc. etc. It think it's a heck of a lot harder for the one who has to uproot his life, but we don't hear a lot from them on here about the pain of waiting.

First of all I CAN function without my SO. Secondly, I have a father dying with Picks Disease, a mother with alzheimers and I am the ONLY caregiver of them both. I have health issues myself as well. So you dot have to talk to me about others worse off that have tragedy in their lives..I know all to well. WE each handle this differntly. My son in law spent 4 deployments in Iraq.

This is my last post. Good luck with your journeys.

No please do not go.. you are someone who wants to help and not everyone finds fault with you .. Not me.. I like you and I enjoy your posts.. please do not go

There are others of us here in intense pain over seperation from our spouses and lengthy delays... I am not sure exactly why lisa is on our board terrorising you but she likes MENA and frankly if she is happy here she is welcome but you should not be bullied off the boards and pushed with one nasty comment after another..

Lisa I really like you and think you are funny but sometimes, especially when you are dealing with another board that is from an area that you have nothing to do with , you should start to see where your posts are going... IF you see someone getting distraught, lay off them.. She is at the point she wants to leave the boards and this is a board for her particular region and you are a visitor. I fail to see how bashing her has helped the boards on MENA. She has tried to do things to bring attention to the immigration plight and the article did not come out like she had hoped but that is not her fault.... I think we should try to care about each other on here because for some of us, this is a huge support. I have survived some god awful things in my life and frankly immigration is up there because its a machine that turns slowly and you can do nothing to make things faster or better no matter how hard you try

kat

i'll second the motion that mrssnowangel stays.

READ this story again with more open minds:

"It's addictive," Brown said of the site. (notice its not addicted to GETTING them here, but to VJ. How many of you post here every day? Sometimes more than once?? HOw many times do you check the stats??)

And that can be a problem, Keenan said. Like Brown, she logs onto VisaJourney constantly -- to ask questions, post sale fares to Egypt, buoy others. (Hmmm...nothing here about being co-dependant or obsessed with getting him here) Sometimes it's too much, she said.

"You feel support, but you feel depressed, because you see other people approved," she said. "Sometimes you have to step back." (still nothing leading to codependancy or a feeling of desperation of getting the SO here...but the opposite...come here to be together with YOU all as our SUPPORT system)


Remember, WEndy's story isn't about obsession to get him HERE...Its about using VJ as her support system. HER visa was DENIED originally and they have a HUGE wait ahead. We have NO right to talk for her or about how much she is concerned and misses him.

In no way..did I ever say anything in my posting here about missing our SO's soo much we are obsessed. In the article it doesn't say it or imply it. IT DOES SAY that this SITE...VISA JOURNEY....is an obession..because its where we get our SUPPORT from. Build friendships and find our information that USCIS doesn't always make CLEAR.

When I said one post wasn't nice...I meant it. The comment about those that approved of the article then the statment "DID YOU READ IT?" Makes it sound like those that have different opinion were stupid and formed that opinion on ignorance. Thats not being supportive of each other. It wasn't nice.

I Do want my SO here...I DO think about it alot...I DO come here for support every day. I CAN Function without him here. I DO function without him here.... I DO worry about our noa2 time table and our interview. If you are a guest in the MENA forums...you ahve NO clue what us MENA applicants go through..the AP waiting is horrible...but we CAN and DO function and go on. I never said that wasn't the case...where THAT came from I have NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO clue. WEndy has the RIGHT to be worried, obsessed and concerned with her petition. She was DENIED. What would YOU do?
How would YOU feel?

I think if we are here to support each other...we MUST understand we have NOT walked in each others shoes. I dont know you...you dont know me. You ahve no clue about my home life..I h ave no clue about yours. Some of us are better equipted to handle these situations than others. Some are more positive then others...some are more obsessed.

WE DO have many common things....we ALL miss our SO. WE ALL want them here. WE ALL have good days and bad days..and WE ALL come here for SUPPORT. WE have to respect each other for a forum like this to work....but I'll defend that article to the end...Wendy deserves that after all she's been through. If you knew her whole story...you'd be more understanding. Just food for thought....

i am not addicted to vj! *hunts for can of spray paint to cover up them hearts*

I also agree that AMRSSNOWANGEL stays . I, myself, feel she has very good words to say also. She has helped me out with her advice and it's all helped.

Jan

Doodlebug I feel for you..You and CairoBound, Cheryl and Medo and others that are waiting ungodly times after the interview are in my prayers by name. Im sure Allah knows who I mean when I say "Doodlebug" for lack of real name. Im handling the wait well..I just dont think the wait is necessary. I think immigration reform is needed. I think those that come after us shouldn't have to go through 6,7, 8 months for an Noa2, then 2 months for interview date, the 6, 8, 10 months in AP. Its appalling.

LOL...not addicted??? Dare you to go off it for a week. Feel the pull..It calls our names.....charlesandnessaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....charlesandnessssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aa........lets face it..this IS our support...this IS where we come to laugh, cry, gripe, moan, check numbers, see how we compare to where others are in the process. Hmmm...I have a can of spray..we can cover it all we want..but...whats there is there...