Why can't ex's be civilized?

This morning I was having a completely calm conversation with my ex wife about an incident Nicole and I had with my daughter(from ex) regarding earning things. Everything was cool until I mentioned something Nicole told her. My wife interrupts me and says:
"oh, that's really rich-Nicole giving advice to our daughter about earning things. She just latched herself on to a gold mine in the US and has herself settled"

This came out of nowhere except for the fact that my ex really is a C*** and this reminds me of why I divorced her in the first place. Here I am telling her a story that demonstrates that my new wife cares about the well being of our daughter and then comes this crap. Truth is she doesn't even know the first thing about Nicole and how much of her own she has actually given to my daughter because of her inability to earn things(another topic). Is this just jealousy or does everybody have their own preconcieved notions about people's motives that they just cannot drop?

it's about a mother and her child!!! of course she's going to be jealous of another woman!!!

It is jealousy - its hard for any mother (or father) to accept another woman (or man!) in as a child's significant other parent - it's not unlike when they start getting influenced by friends and boyfriends/girlfriends.
If it was a bitter break up (and even if not) then of course you will have to expect this - just don't let it 'get' to you - she just wants reassurance she isn't getting 'pushed out' in the mother role.
If you are happy - and the child is happy - then you can afford to be generous - its not about you or your new wife - its all about your ex and her felings

yes.. it's a pretty common occurence when children are involved. Sometimes you can't persuade someone to change their thoughts. and if she's going to act in that manner... the best way to prove her wrong is to have your wife continue her positive influence.

The stupid thing is that it looks and feels like jealousy, but the fact is my wife was already engaged to another man before I even dreampt of a Nicole. There was no bitter break up either. The woman is just a bad egg.

The thing is it doesn't matter to her; before Nicole SHE was the sole 'woman/ mother figure' in her daughters life - now she is not. She will feel resentful - whatever you feel about her other motives this one is definite. She's jealous that your Nicole now has influence over her daughter whether she likes it or not.
she will get over it in time - or your daughter will grow to resent her for it - honestly.

My advice: just ignore her. She will get used to the fact that there is another woman in her daughter's life that can have some influences on her. Don't let her 'bad attitude' get in to you.

that green monster is rearing it's ugly head....
wishing you the best... and especially your daughter, because she is the one most affected...

Dont even get me started on my husbands ex b4tch wife

Well I know being a mother of two sons, that I woud appreciate if my ex husbands new wife was being nice to them, but NO some ex's are just EVIL AND NASTY.

Good luck with the ex is all I can say.

Some never go away

I hate Karen's ex, he's a piece of sh!t

NO....ex's don't go away...and believe me, I have wished for that more times than I care to remember. My ex is jealous of Joel being in Anna's life. But, I'm extremely nice to my ex's fiancee...we even like each other, which is a good thing, since she'll be a part of my daughter's life every other weekend. To be perfectly honest (and if you knew my ex, you'd agree) Joel will be more of a father to her than her own dad.

My ex isn't evil...he's just flippin' insane...

LMAO........

Thats what I say about my ex.........he's a piece of ######

You described him perfectly darling

Isn't it ironic that the people we once loved the most are the people we hate the most.

I was young and stupid when I married my first husband.

I know now that it wasnt love, it was hell

Hey, another one for the club. I HATE my husband's ex-wife with a vengence!!! Not only for what she did to him, but the way she's poisoined their daughter against him, and restricted their time together by keeping her busy all the time, dropping her off late, collecting her hours early, saying she cant possibly stay the night for this or that reason. This is even with them having joint custody. She's also been feeding their daughter lies for the past 14 years that she is somehow owed by my husband. Well, she's not owed a penny. In fact she's the one that owes us. We actually gave my step-daugter a copy of the divorce decree (she asked to see it, and she isnt a child anymore) which states exactly what was/is what, I think she was rather surprised the extent to which her mother lied to her all these years.

Hey, the ex is still making life hell for us, we had to see our lawyer on Monday because of another lie of hers.

coooool.....an ex hating thread!!!! Can I join???

Sure can

I'm in.
I don't actually hate my ex but I don't like him either.
it's a quandary.

oh wait, my husband has an ex too.
yes, I hate her

Don't get me started either!!! My husband's ex is psycho, and a lazy money grabbing b***h!@!!!! She sits on her backside doing nothing, while I work full time (from the very minute I got my EAD) and is always demanding more and more. She is now threatening to take hubby back to court for more child support (dammit, only the lawyers ever win!! It will cost more in fees than the amount involved - in fact she could get the support reduced!) She has poisoned one of my stepkids against me, so that the 22 yr old hasn't spoken to me in 18 months.

And she is never going to lay a finger on one penny of MY MONEY!!!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

My ex on the other hand is a saint in comparison. Honestly!

Can I join too?

Gosh. I thought I was the only one. However, I rarely bash because I don't want it to seem that I'm just a bitter ex. Uggghhh, and yes, he's mental, too.
Makes me feel a little better knowing that I have very good "relationships" with my only seroius exBOYFRIEND and my second ex-husband. I actually like both of those guys. They are good people but that first ex.... man, he makes me sick and unfortunately, he's the one I share the kids with. boooooooooooo!!!
My 2nd ex-husband taught me something very valuable: keep my mouth shut. don't make comments...when A-hole calls, listen to what he says, state only want he needs to know regarding the kids, and answer questions DIRECTLY, and again, don't make comments.



Same here. He was almost 4 years older...a big age difference when you're a child. When I was 13 he succeeded in getting me to...... at 15 I was knocked up, 18 married... uuuggghhhh.

Well... my son's dad and I get along fairly well... while our son is in the curren vicinity... hehe
As soon as Dev leaves the room, he is wanting to know... "Do ya miss me? I miss you... I know you haven't been with anybody since you last saw Jamal a year ago... "
Gawd!!! How disgusting! The day Jesse and his girlfriend got married, he brought Dev home that night... and tried to get "physical" with me... what a jerk... other than the sex thing... we get along okay... until he doesn't do what I think is right for Dev... but, so far... I can say... he is a good dad...
just HATE HATE HATE having to fend him off!!!
GAK!!!

In addition to the daughter being cared for by another woman, there is also the biases against others who have come to the US through a spouse.

I hate the "C" word!!....

Sometimes they just can't let it go. Remember, you divorced her so now these things have no control over you. IGNORE the game-playing B!

Did someone say the"C" word

Sry, not all mothers are jealous of a relationship thier child has with exhusbands wives/girlfriend.
Im not, In fact, if it wasn't for my ex's wife/livein girlfriend, I would be more worried about having my daughter live with him. I have found that she has been very accepting of my little girl and I appreciate what she does for her . I have never said an ill word against her and don't intend to. I'm happy that my ex has someone in his life that cares about my child.
Unfortunatly its not the other way arround with my ex. He is extremly jealous of the relationship my daughter has with my husband. Its too bad becuz People should be happy that their exs have found someone that gets along and cares for that persons child. Just my 2cents .

I am fortunate that I like my ex's fiancée...she's very good to Anna. Although lately it seems she and my ex have been having problems that my ex says are indirectly related to the "rudeness and disrespectful attitude of my daughter"....she's only 6!!! So not only does my ex try to play mind games with me, he's trying to lay part of the blame for relationship problems on a 6yo child. How sick is that?

Oh well...he's chosen the wrong person to mess with...if he keeps this up, I just might have to hand him his testicles.

chocolate?

'Tis a well-established principle of psychology: we like people who like us and dislike people who dislike us; but we most dislike people who used to like us and now dislike us ... and we most like people who used to dislike us and now like us.