On the CNN home page is a video link, "Mail-order brides trade poverty for hope, abuse". I wanted to watch it, but of course, it is WMP only, so I can't (I refuse to install that crap on my machine).

So, just for fun, I went over to Google News and did a search for "mail order brides". I laughed when I saw the 7th headline from the top was, "Postal Rates Go Up". I just thought it was a funny search result (:

Cheers!
AKDiver

The video is about Asian/Philipina women not a word about Russian women.

Typical biased reporting... citing only the horror stories of abuse as if that is the only result of so called "mail order brides". This really pisses me off. They report this as if this is the natural outcome. What about all the abuse that takes place in domestic relationships. Of course any abuse should not be tolerated but I'd bet that abuse among American/American couples is higher than among American/Immigrant couples.

I don't like the term "mail-order bride." When you first find someone on the internet, then correspond with them for a period of time through e-mail and other means, then go to their country to meet them in person, and then invite them to come back to your country to get married, how does that constitute "mail-order"? In my opinion this is normal, and nothing should be considered wrong with it.

To me the term "mail-order bride" would only be accurate if you literally searched in a catalog (either online or an actual old-fashioned paper catalog), found the woman you like and "ordered" her, and she was somehow delivered to your house without you actually meeting her in advance. We all know that is completely ridiculous, and could never happen anyway because of the requirement for a K-1 visa that you meet in person within the past 2 years!

I certainly agree with this, but sometimes our society dictates a different view point.
I still have AW get cold and rude with me when I tell them I have a Russian fiance.
Some say..wow that's great!
I get this just about everytime....why would you want to go to Russia to find a woman when we have all these fine and beautiful AW here?
All the foreign women want is a free ride to America.
I then ask them...why do a LOT of AW go to foreign countries to find a man?
They absolutly didn't want to hear that and they usually reply with either...I didn't know they did or they must be crazy.
I sit on the fence and tell them...I went where my heart took me and that it has nothing to do with AW.

bruc

The mail-order bride thing really did come from a catalog. Before the Internet, companies were publishing catalogs with women's profiles in them and mailing them out to people who would then "order" the one they wanted. Of course, they still had to do all the VJ stuff, but the companies had it set up very similar to a mail-order catalog. Then the common misconception took hold that people (usually fat, old, bald guys) could just paruse through a catalog, select the attractive 18-year-old of their liking, and "order" her for a couple thousand dollars. And that's still what most people think about marriages to Russians/Filipinas today.

I just laugh when I encounter the "attitude" about the whole "mail-order" thing. I find it funny that people here struggle so hard to maintain good relationships, without having a language/cultural barrier, without going through the waiting, without the sacrifices, and the very same people want to turn around and look down upon a "mail-order" relationship.

The joke is really on them!


The "mail-order bride" label is only held in place now because there are still women looking for "a nice man ages 18-80" on the profile sites, and because American women have nothing more disparaging to call them.

Bah!! You are all missing the point!!!!

Search: Mail order bride

Result: POSTAL RATES ARE GOING UP!!!!

That's FUNNY!!!!

(:

Cheers!
AKDiver

Sorry Slim, but the term mail-order bride is really pretty old, like over 100 years. During the times of the gold rush, predominantly in Alaska, men would write to women advertised in newspapers as seeking husband. The men paid to ship the women by boat to their destination for the purpose of marriage. It was really big business in the 19th century.

I really got a kick out of the previous comments from American women towards us men. The AW really think that these women only want to come to America. As if, first the guy is a loser and couldn't get a woman here and then the men are just looking for submissive women. Does anyone have a submissive Russian speaking wife? I know I don't. Second, sure we have a pretty good country here, but it certainly isn't Eden. You know what's really not being said here is this. American men make the best husbands in the world. (We have to be the best, since we put up with AW.)

What bothers me most is that the AW really believe that we couldn't find better women than the US born and raised. All I know is that all of the men that I've met with Russian speaking wives are happier than they have been in years.

As far as the abuse issue. I would have to see concrete statistics that show a higher incident of abuse towards foreign born spouses before I would believe there is a real problem.

Very well said 1HappyGuy, on all counts.

I especially liked your line "Does anyone have a submissive Russian speaking wife? I know I don't." Ain't that the truth - my fiancee is certainly feistier then just about every AW I know!

My Russian fiance is very shy, bashful, soft spoken...STUBBORN & HARDHEADED...Never Submissive ...but...very charming
My ex AW wife....that was the worst experience of my life...

bruc

The interesting thing for me is my ex-wife is also Russian, and she was a wild one too! Also she tends to get very jealous, and doesn't like it when I date other women or am happy in general. Currently she has no idea that I have a new fiancee in Russia who will most likely be here in the near future... When she finds out, I'm afraid the sparks are really going to fly!

That's interesting! I didn't know the business is that old! Is it true that in Alaska the ration men-to-women in the population is 7-to-1?

That's right! Russian women are capable of protecting themselves. But due to hundreds of years of patriarchy as a prevailing social structure we can be pretty shy and bashful and treat our man as the king of the universe and forgive everything including beating so...

Totally true!

{American men make the best husbands in the world. }


I read an article several months ago about the international marriage business...it stated that foreign women wanted American husbands because we're the best family men in the world...
After traveling to a lot of foreign countries over the years and "people watching"...I would have to agree.

bruc

Absolutely correct. Most American women have no idea that it was they, themselves, that started the term "mail-order bride."

However, the modern usage of that term was only popularized again after the fall of the Soviet Union, and the subsequent 60 Minutes and 20/20 stories on "mail-order brides."

It has been quite popular, for years, from the P.I., but it wasn't common knowledge until the mid-90's when the media started to make the connection between "mail-order brides" and "sex-slaves, battered women, etc." Then, when the Internet started getting more popular, and made the "mail-order" part more convenient, people really started to get the idea that it was a "mail-order" system, and the majority of people doing this, based on the media bias, were fat, old, bald guys that were "ordering" smokin-hot 18-year-olds.

This is typical American bias based only on mis-information, and once again, the joke is on them.

Actually that is kind of true I ordered a smoking hot 18 year old russian woman but the visa process took so long by the time she got her she was a smokin hot 30 year old russian woman.



My wife read this and I asked her if it was ok to beat her, and she replied that she could beat me too and there is no way I can explain that to the guys at work so its hands off except in the nice way and I always ask permission.( read begging)

Bah. I can't believe you guys miss the point of the original post. Hint: it was not to rehash the same tired old "mail order brides" stereotype business. (:'

Cheers!
AKDiver

No I got it and it was funny but in usual VJ fashion things digress and go off on a tangent.
Last night I thought that we should all get together somewhere and play the old telephone game we could probably start with something about the visa/AOS process and by the end have world hunger solved.

Hey AKDriver,

I found the video on CNN's web site. It was the same old stuff the media likes to portray of innocent women coming to America via the fiancee visa process. This one was just about Filipino women. And as you can expect, they found a few women that had been abused.

Of course, it wouldn't make good press if they interviewed really happy and content women that dearly love their husband and have a good marriage.

I'm still waiting for CNN or 20/20 to call me up and ask about my wife and marriage. I'm not holding my breathe.

AKDiver -- your search was *very* funny.

Join the club on the "asking permission" part.