I really don't know what to do now as I've been to the shelter and the lawyer pro-bono filed the VAWA and I could not stay at the shelter any more and got back to my husband and my husband even doesn't know that I was in the shelter and wants to apply now for AOS, I don't know what to do from the one side here's VAWA and from the other side AOS thru the relative and I really don't know what to do, he used to really abuse me and I think now he has changed and we reconciled but I am feeling guilty as if I had betrayed him.

Don't feel guilty for one minute of your life, it is simply a wasted emotion. You did what you needed to do to protect you and unborn children (cause face it, if they guy messes you up, they will never get born).

I think you are nuts to go back to a man who abuses you unless he goes to counselling. There is no reason for him to change. However, that being said, make an exit plan, tuck a few bucks from the eggs and milk away, never have your back up against the wall. Always have a plan in the event things go south. (american speak for, when it gets bad, you need to know what you will do).

You know this guy may or may not be the love of your life......and now that you know, you must take action to protect yourself. If something bad happens, and you are not prepared, you can only blame yourself, because you know what you are doing now.
Good Luck

Hi,

I'm so sorry you have been through this. I too am going through VAWA. I have been through the cycle of I think he has changed over and over again. I kept trying to give him second chances after he apologised. Continue with the VAWA, there's no guarantee that he won't hurt/abuse you again. Don't rely on this man to get you through the AOS. You need to be safe, especially if you are pregnant and being with someone like that is not a safe a secure environment. It is hostile.

Don't ever feel guilty about betraying him. You used your instincts of self preservation and must continue to do so, however hard it is. Find your inner strength for both you and your unborn child. You have it in you ,trust me. When it counted I found mine.

Hugs and prayers

Shona

There are organisations that you can speak with for reassurance and guidance, but I'd just like to caution you. If your spouse once abused you, please think carefully about ever revealing that you might have had the need to seek counsel and assistance in the past. No matter how he might appear to have changed, if he is an abuser knowledge that you exercised some independence and could have revealed his untenable behaviour to an outsider, could inflame him and bring about grave consequences. Please have your wits about you and give him no fodder for further abuse.

Thank you guys for your opinions and understanding, but I decided to go back home, it isn't worth it, screw this VAWA petition and screw my abuser.

Good for you on having the courage to get the heck out. Best of luck with your transition back home.