I'm considering the best way to do this with my future MENA spouse.

I could take my dog to stay with my sister when my fiance gets here. Give his some time to settle in w/o the dog, get his scent on the house for the dog. Then take him on a trip to visit my sister and get the dog.

Or is it better to have the dog here and they just get used to each other all at once?

The cat would stay at the house the whole time and since we just relax the first few days and she'll get used to him. She will become curious and in the quiet times she will investigate, and soon she will come close enough to smell him. I'll instruct him to keep still and don't try to touch her yet.

If I take the dog to stay with my sister for a while, the cat will be anxious about being alone. That will either work for us and she will want to be with the next best thing - me - or the "stranger" will just scare her.

I'm not concerned with my dog's reactions to my fiance, it is the Moroccan man's reaction I want to encourage to be good. Dusti is a friendly open little dog (top-of-my-knee high), likes new people (yeah, great guard dog ) She might want to jump up, I'll instruct him to stand firm and say "no!" She is going to want to smell him. That will probably provoke an interesting reaction...from the man! I believe someone on VJ humorously described it as a mini stroke or heart attack?

Anyway, which is better, dog with sister for a few days or dog there from day 1?

Any other advice from the experienced?

BT

Another option is to keep the pets in a kennel ( travel crate ) if they are accustomed to it and then when the time feels right to introduce the dog
on a leash so things won't get out of control and the spouse won't faint !

well i didnt have any pets at the time when he came but my sister had two very hyper dogs. we went to her house and let me tell u hassan was scared to death of the dogs. my big brave man was hiding behind me...lol.

well naturally when ur afraid the dog sences it and goes right to that person. well needless to say my husband had no other choice then to get used to them since my sister wont cage or remove her dogs for anything.

he is still a little nervous of her dogs cuz they are big and hyper but he just adores the one he let me get for our 2nd anniversary.

In my opinion, have the dog home. They are going to live together so have them meet there. I would hope that your fiance knows all about the animals you have and how you care for them. Unfortunately my beloved maltese passed away before my husband arrived during our long journey. Though once he was here within the month, we had two new lhasa apso brothers for pets and in the past almost two years, he has come to love them and wouldn't know what to do without them. They are his first pets and thankfully we both love animals.

Good luck in whatever option you choose.

Doreen

i'd keep the dog at your house. he might as well get used to your dog right away than wait and put your dog and cat through anxiety! i hope it all goes well for you.

I agree. Let the dog be at home. They will adjust to each other in their own way. My husband loves the company of the dog especially when I have to go to work. They have become best buds. He was a little apprehensive before arriving becauce the only experience he had with dogs was with the feral ones roaming the streets in Morocco.

so trueeee about cats too! i showed my fiance a photo of my cats and he couldn't accept i'd have a cat in my house...my baby! he's just used to seeing feral cats running around hissing, fighting, and dirty. i know he'll love my boys!
my fiance wants a dog. i was surprised to hear that.... so glad i love animals!

Ok, dog at home. Makes sense.

She doesn't jump up as much as she used to, and she does calm down quicker that when I met her (4-5 years old), but then there was the other dog to compete with, and I was new. She was very nervous back then. But from observing how her owner interacted with her, it seems like she just needed someone calmer and steadier that she could predict, and consistent attention. The other dog got more attention because she was willing to play fight with him and would give in to him, but in her own way she was a little neurotic too. There was this look in her eyes, and the way she help herself.

Can't put her in a kennel, though. She belonged to my ex-husband who didn't crate train her properly. Left her in the crate for hours and hours while he was out of the house. If whenever I was put in a crate I was stuck there for 9 hours, I'd need to get out of it too! She almost busted her nose trying to get out of one of those plastic crates with a metal door (and i think it was too small for her anyway). We got a bigger crate which did not have the plastic top and sides, so she could be with his other dog, but that only helped a little. She bent a few of the metal bars near the bottom, enough to get her head out, but one was bent into the cage and caught in her collar so she couldn't back in, but the hole was too small for her to get out. I'm so happy we left the keys in the house and had to go back in, because she was crying and whining and in the worst panic before we even got into the house. Trying to get her head back through the hole was tough because we would get it out and she would spurt forward and get stuck again. That crate was made for a large dog and my small medium dog still damaged it in a matter of days.

And that is why I couldn't leave her at a kennel, if she doesn't hurt herself, maybe she'll damage the facilities. That could end up being even more expensive. I suppose she can't do much damage in 4 days, but I can't feel good about leaving her like that.

I don't know if it is nerves, or fear/claustraphobia, or stubbornness, or a need to be with humans, or what. But I don't know how to handle the crate training at this point. At this point she must be about 11 years old so this has had a long time to be an issue for her.

BT

sorry if this is blunt or rude but its pure not understanding/relating to some people but...

why would you ever put a dog in a crate other than taking them to and from the vet and moving?
a poor dog or cat isn't meant to be stuck in a crate/cage!

My dog is a member of this family. Javed knows i have a dog and knows the role that he plays in my life. if Javed ever said to me he dont like diamee. guess who is leaving and its not my dog!
having said that hell no would i ever put my dog in a crate, kennel or anything else.
when my husband comes he will get to know diamee and thats it.

now if you want a tip in introducing your pet to your spouse try this.. get toys & special treats for your dog and your spouse to play with. this will help create a little bond between the two.

your post is making me ill.
either she is a family member or just something you cage like a beast! gezz

good recommendation about toys and treats for them to bond!!!!!

Dogs, if they are crated properly, love the crate. It is a great source of comfort to them. They think of it as their den. Dogs like the prtective sense of a crate. But if it is used improperly, it can be associated with a punishment. My dog gets in his crate when he wants to sleep or rest. The door is open all the time. If I ned to close the door for some reason, he doesn;t mind.

my family has had dogs all my life and it never occurred to me. we've given them dog beds and dog houses outside...but i never thought to buy a crate to shut the door. interesting.

dog house- crate - same in the dog's mind But I think so many people misunderstand the proper use of the crate. Anyone else here like the Dog Whisperer? I love him! Dogs want to be dogs not people!

well i wouldn't lock him in the house!

Who could lock up such a sweet dog?

I'm not worried about the dogs as much as I'm worried about my parrots. My fiance is on blood thinners for life, and should he get bit or scratched...??????? The birds are rescues with unpredictable temperments. I guess he will never be able to hold them, play with them, or even help out with the feeding and cleaning.

oooo parrots? what kind?

A Cockatoo, an African Grey, and 2 Conures. I would not classify the little cockatiel as a parrot. And you never know what wild bird will be taken in at any given time , or how long their stay will be if they can be rehabilitated or not.

My husband has a cat that looks exactly like my orange cat looked (unfortunatelly, he died in February cause of all this bad stuff with pet food, and I was heart-broken). I also have another cat, that my husband is used to seeing on the web-cam; and I got a young cat while being upset over loosing my favorite cat. Alltogether, it's three cats right now. I don't think it'll be a problem for my husband anyway, he's used to being having animals at his house.

My cats actually like the pet carrier, they go there from time to time.

So, I hope there would be no problem here.

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Ok here is my baby that can't wait to see her new daddy! She will be waiting for us to arrive from the airport I told Hasan when we first started talking that I have a dog and she sleeps with me and that she is my baby. He was ok with her and said that when he lived in Kuwait that he had a little dog that when he foudn t was all dirty and his fur was knotted so he took him home cleaned him all up and trained him. I am very lucky that he likes dogs, the only thing he was worried about was that her side of the bed will be his when he comes and was not sure how that was going to work. So I am trying to get her used to sleeping in a dog bed, she thinking it is a petting post! We will get it figured out.

I am only praying that my dog doesn't get too jealous or that I don't get jealous of her if he is giving her all of my attention. I am sure we will fidn balance in our lives.

My husband will never live with a dog. He has this thing about it and says that they're very dirty and that he would not be able to pray if a dog touched him.

I own a cat that he's not thrilled with but that's only 'cause he's used to the feral cats that run rampant on the streets of Cairo. His sisters kind of adopted a baby girl cat and each and every day he has had to fight off all the male cats in the neighborhood that try to get to her. He's kind of been her wali. anyways when they moved they wanted to bring her with them and he put his foot down 'cause he's so tired of fighting off the male cats. She's prolly preggo by now.

My cat is an indoor cat and is neutered and is just the sweetest thing. And I normally hate cats!

My problem is integrating the kids!!!! He's soooooooooooooooooooooooo scared that they're going to resent him 'cause he'll take attention away from me. I tell him not to worry since they already call him everyday to say hi on their phones, they talk to him on the cam and write him letters, ask about when he's coming etc.

Thank you mybackpages, for averting total disaster. I forgot not everyone knows about crate training.

Ah yes, the whole dog on the bed thing. I'm going to wait a few weeks before teaching her about sleeping somewhere else. Maybe two weeks before his interview date? I think I have to choose between having the dog in the bed and the guy (once he is husband ). I don't think non-pet people or non-sleeping-with-the-dog-in-the-bed people can understand the conflict

I was late to class today because we were curled up on the couch together and she was tucked against me so sweetly. It would have been the *perfect* nap time but I had to run go...and I ended up sitting next to this ....girl. Not an equal trade Honestly, some people....

Maybe 3 weeks to get her used to sleeping on the floor? So, based on the vjourney, when is the optimal time to start? It's almost like trying to plan a wedding without knowing when the fiance can be in the US (I'm not trying that, but I've read on VJ about people who did - usually a bad idea). A week before the interview date? Or the week of the interview date...might that be cutting it close?

BT

ah cool, many years ago i had a mexican double yellow headed, then later on a macaw, and then a congo african grey. never had a conure but did have a few parakeets and a flock of cockatiels at one time
what type of cockatoo? greater/lesser sulpher crested or a moluccan?

Yellow crested cockatoo. I got this bird in December, as his owners were going to let " Mr. problem child " out the door in bitter cold winter. He is a handfull! What happened to your macaw and your grey????? and I always wanted a double yellow headed parrot! Lucky you ! The conures are South American birds and scream. Of the two I have, one is a Nanday, the other a Orange napped. What kind of macaw did you have?

mexican double yellow headed died
gave the macaw to my dad for a breeder bird, got the congo grey, ex has the bird now
the macaw was a hybrid, cross between a scarlet and a military i think it was, supposedly called a catalina.

I have a cat which Mo is NOT thrilled about esp. since she sleeps with me and has free reign of the house. While in Egypt we were waiting for our bus and a tiny feral cat jumped up and sat beside me. I petted her/him and Mo didn't like that too well. He kept trying to chase it away. He does like dogs though. He wants a dog but I can't have one in my apt. plus I'm not keen on dogs in the house. Every dog I've ever had as a child and every one of my friends' dogs have had "accidents" in the house. I don't like the idea of cleaning up poopie or peepee in the house.

Awwwww, Charles, you know thats gotta hurt. Sorry to hear that.
You should have kept your scarlet hybrid!!!!! And the grey...oh don't they just say EVERYTHING??? The ex better be taking good care of that bird!

lost the double yellow head in '88, so almost 20 years ago. i still miss her.
yeah the grey is a good talker, she still remembered me after not seeing me for about 7 years too, and didn't bite me although the ex expected such.
my dad had a congo grey too (it died of a respiratory infection), the rule was never touch dad when that bird was around as the bird was very protective

Those unpredictable greys ! Birds usually just pick one person to like so I guess that's why I never have company. I also found that my birds make better watchdogs than the dogs, and are the first to sound the alert , like when the mailperson is comming or a pesky solicitor.

usually happens when the bird reaches sexual maturity, they attach to one person as their "mate"