Full Version: Love marriage V/s Arranged Marriage ??
i myself will go with Love marriage followed by acceptance by family because the person is known better and chemistry is better , followed by family approval was an excellent one ,
doc cute,
I think you will find that VJ is the wrong forum to be asking this question in
That is, unless you're not just out for validation of your own point of view.
I think you will find that VJ is the wrong forum to be asking this question in
That is, unless you're not just out for validation of your own point of view.
speaking as a person who favors "love marriage", i must say, if the duration of the marriage is a measurement of success (as we may have different determinants as to how xuccessful a marriage is), then "love marriage" certainly is not the way to do it. fact is, over 60% of this so called "love marriage" will be terminated (aka divorce) within 5-7 yrs and the second timer's success ration is not high also. however, the love is certainly a lot of fun. so, like my playboy buddy Big Al once said, Love is fun but love intensively and get the hell out of there quick. LOL.
QUOTE(jasonbrus @ Apr 8 2007, 06:17 PM) 
speaking as a person who favors "love marriage", i must say, if the duration of the marriage is a measurement of success (as we may have different determinants as to how xuccessful a marriage is), then "love marriage" certainly is not the way to do it. fact is, over 60% of this so called "love marriage" will be terminated (aka divorce) within 5-7 yrs and the second timer's success ration is not high also. however, the love is certainly a lot of fun. so, like my playboy buddy Big Al once said, Love is fun but love intensively and get the hell out of there quick. LOL.
Your data and response is flawed, because you didn't give the numbers for the marriages that were founded on being "arranged".
If the so called 'love" marriages have a failure rate of 60%, then I can only imagine that the "arranged" marriages , where the couples most likely did not even love each other, would be MUCH worse.
Hard to agree with your argument, when you do not even give the alternative data.
Obviously, Indian or not..........and taking into account the feelings I have for my own wife..................................I strongly take exception to your argument. ......................and prefer the "former"....rather than the "latter"
QUOTE(MPGGPM @ Apr 8 2007, 05:32 PM)
QUOTE(jasonbrus @ Apr 8 2007, 06:17 PM)
speaking as a person who favors "love marriage", i must say, if the duration of the marriage is a measurement of success (as we may have different determinants as to how xuccessful a marriage is), then "love marriage" certainly is not the way to do it. fact is, over 60% of this so called "love marriage" will be terminated (aka divorce) within 5-7 yrs and the second timer's success ration is not high also. however, the love is certainly a lot of fun. so, like my playboy buddy Big Al once said, Love is fun but love intensively and get the hell out of there quick. LOL.
Your data and response is flawed, because you didn't give the numbers for the marriages that were founded on being "arranged".
If the so called 'love" marriages have a failure rate of 60%, then I can only imagine that the "arranged" marriages , where the couples most likely did not even love each other, would be MUCH worse.
Hard to agree with your argument, when you do not even give the alternative data.
Obviously, Indian or not..........and taking into account the feelings I have for my own wife..................................I strongly take exception to your argument. ......................and prefer the "former"....rather than the "latter"
QUOTE(MPGGPM @ Apr 8 2007, 05:32 PM)
QUOTE(jasonbrus @ Apr 8 2007, 06:17 PM)
speaking as a person who favors "love marriage", i must say, if the duration of the marriage is a measurement of success (as we may have different determinants as to how xuccessful a marriage is), then "love marriage" certainly is not the way to do it. fact is, over 60% of this so called "love marriage" will be terminated (aka divorce) within 5-7 yrs and the second timer's success ration is not high also. however, the love is certainly a lot of fun. so, like my playboy buddy Big Al once said, Love is fun but love intensively and get the hell out of there quick. LOL.
Your data and response is flawed, because you didn't give the numbers for the marriages that were founded on being "arranged".
If the so called 'love" marriages have a failure rate of 60%, then I can only imagine that the "arranged" marriages , where the couples most likely did not even love each other, would be MUCH worse.
Hard to agree with your argument, when you do not even give the alternative data.
Obviously, Indian or not..........and taking into account the feelings I have for my own wife..................................I strongly take exception to your argument. ......................and prefer the "former"....rather than the "latter"
QUOTE(MPGGPM @ Apr 8 2007, 05:32 PM)
QUOTE(jasonbrus @ Apr 8 2007, 06:17 PM)
speaking as a person who favors "love marriage", i must say, if the duration of the marriage is a measurement of success (as we may have different determinants as to how xuccessful a marriage is), then "love marriage" certainly is not the way to do it. fact is, over 60% of this so called "love marriage" will be terminated (aka divorce) within 5-7 yrs and the second timer's success ration is not high also. however, the love is certainly a lot of fun. so, like my playboy buddy Big Al once said, Love is fun but love intensively and get the hell out of there quick. LOL.
Your data and response is flawed, because you didn't give the numbers for the marriages that were founded on being "arranged".
If the so called 'love" marriages have a failure rate of 60%, then I can only imagine that the "arranged" marriages , where the couples most likely did not even love each other, would be MUCH worse.
Hard to agree with your argument, when you do not even give the alternative data.
Obviously, Indian or not..........and taking into account the feelings I have for my own wife..................................I strongly take exception to your argument. ......................and prefer the "former"....rather than the "latter"
QUOTE(MPGGPM @ Apr 8 2007, 05:32 PM)
QUOTE(jasonbrus @ Apr 8 2007, 06:17 PM)
speaking as a person who favors "love marriage", i must say, if the duration of the marriage is a measurement of success (as we may have different determinants as to how xuccessful a marriage is), then "love marriage" certainly is not the way to do it. fact is, over 60% of this so called "love marriage" will be terminated (aka divorce) within 5-7 yrs and the second timer's success ration is not high also. however, the love is certainly a lot of fun. so, like my playboy buddy Big Al once said, Love is fun but love intensively and get the hell out of there quick. LOL.
Your data and response is flawed, because you didn't give the numbers for the marriages that were founded on being "arranged".
If the so called 'love" marriages have a failure rate of 60%, then I can only imagine that the "arranged" marriages , where the couples most likely did not even love each other, would be MUCH worse.
Hard to agree with your argument, when you do not even give the alternative data.
Obviously, Indian or not..........and taking into account the feelings I have for my own wife..................................I strongly take exception to your argument. ......................and prefer the "former"....rather than the "latter"
nice one i m with u for this one
QUOTE(jasonbrus @ Apr 8 2007, 05:17 PM)
speaking as a person who favors "love marriage", i must say, if the duration of the marriage is a measurement of success (as we may have different determinants as to how xuccessful a marriage is), then "love marriage" certainly is not the way to do it. fact is, over 60% of this so called "love marriage" will be terminated (aka divorce) within 5-7 yrs and the second timer's success ration is not high also. however, the love is certainly a lot of fun. so, like my playboy buddy Big Al once said, Love is fun but love intensively and get the hell out of there quick. LOL.
Love can be acquired, accumulative, or even instantaneous. Unless, if someone could come up with the definition for LOVE.
QUOTE(MPGGPM @ Apr 8 2007, 05:32 PM)
QUOTE(jasonbrus @ Apr 8 2007, 06:17 PM)
speaking as a person who favors "love marriage", i must say, if the duration of the marriage is a measurement of success (as we may have different determinants as to how xuccessful a marriage is), then "love marriage" certainly is not the way to do it. fact is, over 60% of this so called "love marriage" will be terminated (aka divorce) within 5-7 yrs and the second timer's success ration is not high also. however, the love is certainly a lot of fun. so, like my playboy buddy Big Al once said, Love is fun but love intensively and get the hell out of there quick. LOL.
Your data and response is flawed, because you didn't give the numbers for the marriages that were founded on being "arranged".
If the so called 'love" marriages have a failure rate of 60%, then I can only imagine that the "arranged" marriages , where the couples most likely did not even love each other, would be MUCH worse.
Hard to agree with your argument, when you do not even give the alternative data.
Obviously, Indian or not..........and taking into account the feelings I have for my own wife..................................I strongly take exception to your argument. ......................and prefer the "former"....rather than the "latter"
I don't know actual statistics, but I've heard that (arranged marriages have a lower divorce rate), too. Likely because in the cultures where arranged marriages usually occur, divorce is an extreme measure.
QUOTE(esjessi @ Apr 9 2007, 12:12 AM)
QUOTE(MPGGPM @ Apr 8 2007, 05:32 PM)
QUOTE(jasonbrus @ Apr 8 2007, 06:17 PM)
speaking as a person who favors "love marriage", i must say, if the duration of the marriage is a measurement of success (as we may have different determinants as to how xuccessful a marriage is), then "love marriage" certainly is not the way to do it. fact is, over 60% of this so called "love marriage" will be terminated (aka divorce) within 5-7 yrs and the second timer's success ration is not high also. however, the love is certainly a lot of fun. so, like my playboy buddy Big Al once said, Love is fun but love intensively and get the hell out of there quick. LOL.
Your data and response is flawed, because you didn't give the numbers for the marriages that were founded on being "arranged".
If the so called 'love" marriages have a failure rate of 60%, then I can only imagine that the "arranged" marriages , where the couples most likely did not even love each other, would be MUCH worse.
Hard to agree with your argument, when you do not even give the alternative data.
Obviously, Indian or not..........and taking into account the feelings I have for my own wife..................................I strongly take exception to your argument. ......................and prefer the "former"....rather than the "latter"
I don't know actual statistics, but I've heard that (arranged marriages have a lower divorce rate), too. Likely because in the cultures where arranged marriages usually occur, divorce is an extreme measure.
and what if the marriage is love then getting arranged with parents ?'
any idea about the success rate ?
QUOTE(consolemaster @ Apr 9 2007, 12:05 AM)
Love can be acquired, accumulative, or even instantaneous. Unless, if someone could come up with the definition for LOVE.
can someone really come up with definition of love ,
i am though a very emotional and sentimental kinnda person
without the most important emotional part i feel love is incomplete
Hmm....You will know your own success.
Remember that the average population is just average. It includes imbeciles, morons, normal, genius intellectuals levels.
Remember that the average population is just average. It includes imbeciles, morons, normal, genius intellectuals levels.
It's a new generation in India, The youngster nowadays choose their own life partner, is it better than the arranged marriages, it all goes hand in hand. In an arranged marriage, specially the girl has no choice but to put up with a lot of nonsense from her husband, as it would be consider a shame for her to go back to her parents. Nowadays with women being more independent they can be more outspoken. The other sad part of it, lot of girls are still being hurt by guys requesting Dowry and making demands to the girl parent even after marriage.
One of my colleague is a very cool guy, very modern, he even had a girlfriend, party, fooling around with her, lot of sexying, that poor girl thinking they will settle down as husband and wife, but all along he has his agenda in mind to let his mom pick. the ironic thing is, when the time comes to get married, he declared himself a traditional guy, and now relies on HIS MOM to pick his ALLIANCE.
One of my colleague is a very cool guy, very modern, he even had a girlfriend, party, fooling around with her, lot of sexying, that poor girl thinking they will settle down as husband and wife, but all along he has his agenda in mind to let his mom pick. the ironic thing is, when the time comes to get married, he declared himself a traditional guy, and now relies on HIS MOM to pick his ALLIANCE.
QUOTE(Nikita2Charles @ Apr 9 2007, 02:35 PM)
It's a new generation in India, The youngster nowadays choose their own life partner, is it better than the arranged marriages, it all goes hand in hand. In an arranged marriage, specially the girl has no choice but to put up with a lot of nonsense from her husband, as it would be consider a shame for her to go back to her parents. Nowadays with women being more independent they can be more outspoken. The other sad part of it, lot of girls are still being hurt by guys requesting Dowry and making demands to the girl parent even after marriage.
One of my colleague is a very cool guy, very modern, he even had a girlfriend, party, fooling around with her, lot of sexying, that poor girl thinking they will settle down as husband and wife, but all along he has his agenda in mind to let his mom pick. the ironic thing is, when the time comes to get married, he declared himself a traditional guy, and now relies on HIS MOM to pick his ALLIANCE.
One of my colleague is a very cool guy, very modern, he even had a girlfriend, party, fooling around with her, lot of sexying, that poor girl thinking they will settle down as husband and wife, but all along he has his agenda in mind to let his mom pick. the ironic thing is, when the time comes to get married, he declared himself a traditional guy, and now relies on HIS MOM to pick his ALLIANCE.
nikita2charles
yes u r right buddy
girls have modernised in our country we choose our life partners also the chances of getting fooled also increases
QUOTE(Gupt @ Apr 8 2007, 06:11 PM)
doc cute,
I think you will find that VJ is the wrong forum to be asking this question in
That is, unless you're not just out for validation of your own point of view.
I think you will find that VJ is the wrong forum to be asking this question in
That is, unless you're not just out for validation of your own point of view.
lol....
hi mala..
these days..ther r not so stringent arranged weddings ..in our country..but parental acceptance is important after the couple accept each other..thats my story...;)we were given enuf time by our parents to communicate , and decide ,one year..lol.. and they were cool wit everything...rather..supportive...
these days..ther r not so stringent arranged weddings ..in our country..but parental acceptance is important after the couple accept each other..thats my story...;)we were given enuf time by our parents to communicate , and decide ,one year..lol.. and they were cool wit everything...rather..supportive...
Leave it to me to totally butcher this thread. Ours is not the classical "arranged" as our parents had no initial input; nor "love" as we didn't meet each other till 2005.Basically, she was told about me in Dec 2000 (and I about her in Apr 2001) by our spiritual father, Bro. Joe (head of LEF).
QUOTE(pinky_doc @ Apr 10 2007, 07:23 AM)
hi mala..
these days..ther r not so stringent arranged weddings ..in our country..but parental acceptance is important after the couple accept each other..thats my story...;)we were given enuf time by our parents to communicate , and decide ,one year..lol.. and they were cool wit everything...rather..supportive...
these days..ther r not so stringent arranged weddings ..in our country..but parental acceptance is important after the couple accept each other..thats my story...;)we were given enuf time by our parents to communicate , and decide ,one year..lol.. and they were cool wit everything...rather..supportive...
thats great pinky
thats my story too
mala
QUOTE(CherryXS @ Apr 10 2007, 11:32 AM)
Leave it to me to totally butcher this thread. Ours is not the classical "arranged" as our parents had no initial input; nor "love" as we didn't meet each other till 2005.Basically, she was told about me in Dec 2000 (and I about her in Apr 2001) by our spiritual father, Bro. Joe (head of LEF).
thats awesome CherryXS
here is my story
i was told about my life partner thru a matrimonial site though my parents approved him 1st then our families then we didnt meet each other but though we interacted for months with each other and one fine day he came up all off a sudden with his parents to give me a lovely surprise from new york to marry me
i was so surprised that so soon
i really appreciate his love for me , n he appreciates mine we r really like we are made for each other
in all ways we are just alike
QUOTE(Nikita2Charles @ Apr 9 2007, 03:35 PM)
One of my colleague is a very cool guy, very modern, he even had a girlfriend, party, fooling around with her, lot of sexying, that poor girl thinking they will settle down as husband and wife, but all along he has his agenda in mind to let his mom pick. the ironic thing is, when the time comes to get married, he declared himself a traditional guy, and now relies on HIS MOM to pick his ALLIANCE.
Yes that's horrible and I know of situations like that too, relatives or people known by Sujeet when he was in India. The secret agenda thing is so wrong IMO. I hate that kind of stuff so much. In front of mommy the son is an angel, and around everyone else he's a "modern cool guy". And think of the girl who has to get arranged with his sorry behind, who will probably never know about his past partying life or sexual partners. I don't think I am exaggerating, because I know of situations like this too.
I am not against arranged marriages, if the two people are willingly going into it and can meet ahead of time. If it's forced then I am against it. Some of my sister in laws were arranged, b/c they wanted to be. And they are happily married and do love their husbands and are loved by their husbands. Sujeet and I are in a love marriage and a mixed marriage, not easy for his parent's to deal with at first. They wanted to arrange him. But now things are better. It took awhile for them to accept us as a couple. But we were going to be together even if they would not accept it.
QUOTE(doc_cute @ Apr 8 2007, 04:54 PM)
i myself will go with Love marriage followed by acceptance by family because the person is known better and chemistry is better , followed by family approval was an excellent one ,
it dont matter because the USICS has the final say coz, its the american way..
QUOTE(babybunny @ Apr 11 2007, 08:39 AM)
QUOTE(doc_cute @ Apr 8 2007, 04:54 PM)
i myself will go with Love marriage followed by acceptance by family because the person is known better and chemistry is better , followed by family approval was an excellent one ,
it dont matter because the USICS has the final say coz, its the american way..
i know it
but still i wanted to choose my life partner for the life in my own way
i pray everything goes well
my hubby is also willing to stay in india with me permanently if i m rejected or get an A.p
i dont know how much true he is , but ofcourse his words make me really out of the world sometimes
i just hope uscis considers to give the proper rights to usc to choose their life partners and not just to choose people to get visas
and i pray everyone who are waiting to get along with their partners soon get along with them soon
amen
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