Great I guess there is no hope for me. I try to keep positive about this whole ordeal and then when I have faith that we will be approved soon, I read things like this that make me feel like we are stuck in a never ending hell. So now reading this i feel like great.... my husband was born and raised in london, is muslim and his parents are from Pakistnan. He has been to the US many times before with out an issue then after we got married he got denied to come and vidist me. Now I have to worry that he is going to be thought of as a threat. I frear that people will lable us as 'clean skin' terrorists as this article puts it. At this rate I will never have the chance to be with my husband. Its like all the odds are against us as if destiny does not want us to be happy. Im going through hell and back palying the waiting game since June of 06 for an approval and now reading this i feel like great some one is now going lable my husband because of his faith and even though he is a born and bread Brit his parents are from Pakistan at this rate we are never going to be approved. THERE IS NO HOPE FOR ME US TO BE TOGETHER AND HAPPY. When will we see the light? Maybe I should put my self out of my missery and jump in front of car.


By Toby Harnden
Last Updated: 1:58am BST 05/04/2007
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml.../04/wterr04.xml

Interview: America's new homeland security chief tells Toby Harnden of his fears of 'clean skin' terrorists

Toby Harnden's blog
The godfather chaser
The United States fears that the next September 11-style attack on America could be launched by Muslims from Britain or Europe who feel "second-class citizens" and alienated by a "colonial legacy", according to the US Homeland Security chief.

In an interview with The Daily Telegraph, Michael Chertoff, who arrives in Britain tomorrow for talks with John Reid, the Home Secretary, said the US was determined to build extra defences against so-called "clean skin" terrorists from Europe.


Michael Chertoff is concerned about a European threat


"We need to build layers of protection, and I don't think we totally want to rely upon the fact that a foreign government is going to know that one of their citizens is suspicious and is going to be coming here," he said.

Mr Chertoff insisted that the US required additional information, including email addresses and credit card details, to vet European passengers and rejected "the idea that we're going to bargain with the European Union over who's going to come into the United States" under the visa waiver scheme.

"We have an absolute right to get this, in the same way that if someone wants to be a guest in my house I have a right to ask them who they are and get identification."

The July 7 tube and bus bombs nearly two years ago had shown that Britain had a problem with its Muslim immigrant population that America did not share, he argued.

"Our Muslim population is better educated and economically better off than the average American. So, from a standpoint of mobility in society, it's a successful immigrant population. To some degree, the whole country is a country of immigrants, and therefore there's no sense that we have insiders or outsiders. In some countries [in Europe], you had an influx of people that came in as a colonial legacy and may have always have felt, to some extent, that they were viewed as second-class citizens, and they've tended to impact and be kind of clustered in some areas."

Mr Chertoff, a former federal prosecutor, said that one of his biggest worries was that "unknown terrorists" - such as most of the 7/7 bombers, who were British citizens with no criminal record or intelligence traces - could use the visa waiver scheme to enter and attack America.


Richard Reid the ‘shoe bomber’ was travelling to America


Britain is among 27 countries that participate in the scheme, which allows visitors to enter the US without a visa for up to 90 days. About 18 million people visit America every year under this programme.

Richard Reid, the "shoe bomber" who attempted to blow up a transatlantic flight in 2001, was a British citizen travelling under the visa waiver scheme.

Zacharias Moussaoui, one of the September 11 plotters, was a French citizen who entered America without a visa. Mr Chertoff said that "we can do a good job with the known terrorists, if we have their name, or if we've previously arrested them and have their fingerprint on file" but a more potent threat was the terrorist with no known form.

"The fear has always been the so-called 'clean skin' - that's a person whose documents are completely legitimate, are not forged."

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This had led the US to require a significant tightening of the rules for passengers travelling under a visa waiver. Among the new requirements are that all passenger information be transmitted to the US before a plane takes off. Soon, passengers will have to give all 10 fingerprints, rather than just two.

"If someone's a terrorist, and they've left their fingerprints at a training camp, or in a safe house where a bomb was built, and those latent fingerprints are collected, we can then, when someone crosses a border, match their real prints against those latent prints even if we don't know their name," he said.

Mr Chertoff rejected the idea that the Iraq war had made the world more dangerous.

"Those that are inclined to be radicalised will find a reason to be radicalised no matter what's going on in the world."

America was "unquestionably safer and more secure" than it was on September 11 2001 but there was a danger of complacency because it had not been attacked for more than five years.

"Where you find some softness is in some elements of the media or in some elements of the intellectual class who convince themselves that this is our fault, or that there's an easier way to avoid the problem if we can just figure what price we have to pay. That is a plea to the sensibility of exhaustion and history has shown that's a very damaging and very destructive impulse."

You know at first I was going to say that if he has done nothing wrong and is not indeed one of these people then you have nothing to worry about.

I still believe that truly. Maybe I'm naiive but I don't think that they will not let in innocent people. I do think it will take a looooooong time if certain circumstances add up to questionable thoughts on our govt's part, but eventually he has to get in if he's done nothing wrong.....I think.

That being said, you are killing yourself day in and day out here because of this ordeal. I know you were probably kidding about throwing yourself in front of a car but I'd hate to misjudge that. I think you need to get help if that is really how you are thinking. Seriously. I posted a thread about medication a while back and although some scoffed, it's a true reality that depression is a real illness and it can be treated.

I still don't know why you don't just live with him for now over there. From what I remember you don't have children here so if it's really killing you that bad why not? Even if it's just for a few months or so, it may do you a world of good to live as husband and wife in the truest form, even if only temporary.

I hope you feel better and stop letting your mind drive you nuts!!!

You are having a bad day, please be encouraged and don't let one article
get you down like this.
Hang in there, tomorrow is another day ......may you find the positive
of the things you have been blessed with again.
This too shall pass ( HUG ).

Omoba is right, You are just having one of those times where everything seems hopeless and discouraging. We all have moments like this. I believe sometimes we go through so much hell and high water with this process , we can easily trick ourselves into believing our dreams and desires will not come to pass. The devil IS a liar! Walk by faith and not by sight, and be encouraged to know that you are not alone in your feelings. We are here for you.

i'm with doodle...i know i don't know your situation fully, but if it were me, i'd be over to london NOW. i lived in london for a year and love it! i'm sure you've put a lot of thought into it but i'm curious why you haven't gone. i do hope you can get what you wished for if living in the us is what you dream of. good luck girl!

awwww..the whole process is demoralizing sometimes. but don;t read too much into your case with this story. You are going through completely different channels and anyone with a pakistani background is going to take some time due to the political situation, but you will come out on the other side. Keep in mind- this rethoric is about visitors not family based immigration.

My son all American, but with a Musim name and a Pakistani father, can get on a plane without a special call to homeland security everytime he flys. The hurdles are there, and the road is more bumpy- we all feel it. Unless you are directly impacted, its easy to ignore. You are not alone and this too shall pass!

She has mentioned before she is the main breadwinner in her family with her parents and younger brother because her mother had a devastating illness, which is why, although she doesn't have children, she can't move to London.

The "scoffing" was about the title and content of the thread, not the fact people need meds. Certainly everyone must take care of themselves mentally and physically, no matter their situation. People rely on us, though, so if you truly are feeling desperate and without hope, please do see a doctor.

oh thanks for clarifying all that for us peezey.

oh

Hey. I just wanted to add something for you My fried got married to a German citizen who was, prior to that, a born Egyptian citizen. Even though he had lived in Germany for 15 years, he was counted as Egyptian by immigration. It took longer than normal, but he made it here. There is hope

M.

I hope you are joking about throwing yourself in front of a car.. If you feel that hopeless it's time you got some help. Everyone needs help at some point in their lives especially through this immigration process. As the saying goes once you hit rock bottom, well there is no other way now but Up. Saying a prayer for you


Angel

I think your case is the one where you are stuck in checks at the USCIS stage..................that is really tough. As others have said, believe me, you are not alone in how you are feeling. It is a long & difficult process especially for people out of certain countries and I honestly believe that no one can truly understand the type of pain that one must sustain through this whole ordeal unless one has gone through it themselves. Of course it would be nice if you could live in London, however, if you have financial obligations here than that might not be possible. Although, if you haven't seen your sweetie in a while, you should definitely plan yourself a little getaway.....if even for just a few days.....it will help refresh your outlook and you probably need a break & your sweetie could probably use one too. I hope you get that approval soon.

I dont know alot, except how im feeling also and most wont unless they become in this same position. Has anyone ever gotten REAL mad and as a group when someone writes something of this nature just bombared him with messages, letters, petitions? (i know far fetched) but for everyone that states something (be in incorrectly, badly, degradeing, etc) about immigration there has to be some other writer out there that would like to tell the otherside and boy could we fill his files with experiences. just a thought nothing will change for any of us just sitting back and accepting these problems and delays, change takes power and we have the power in our cases of evidence, after all government papers dont lie now do they?

Thank you ladies for all the support. This is just so difficult because we have been in this waiting game since 2003 to be together. There has always been obstacles one way or the other to be together due to school, work, health, or financial issues. I wish it was so easy to just dump everthing and get up and move. It is now 2007 and I just feel so drained and depressed and it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. My husband always tells me not to worry that things will be ok and that things will work out soon so that we can be together.

I guess I just really feel in the dumps and I will probably try and get some medical help before I lose a screw or two. Things sort of get to you after you recive blow after blow. It makes it harder to get up every time. We were so ignorant to think that because he was british that we were not going to have so much drama with our VJ. If we had known this we would have filed staright after we got married instread of trying to sort out our debts, and work issues out and then fileing. GOD WILLING WE WILL HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS SOON.

has any one heard of the song by the artist AKON titled "Don't matter"? I think this is our song. go here to hear the track. It's the first one on the list. When you click the link it should play automatically.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea...iendID=32050898

I like that Akon song and every time I hear it, it actually reminds me of VJ!

Hang in there, girl! ((hugs))

when i read what you wrote my heart hurt for you. i so understand how you feel. it is so difficult to be separted from your spouse. it is even more difficult to have a stranger judge your relationship all in about 5-10 minutes.

hang in there. there is hope. it may or may not take more time than others , but there is hope. never let go of it.

chi

girl, you know you are not alone in this pakistani wait game. dont be jumping in front of cars, or jumping off bridges. if this stuff is making you crazy - like its done to me.. then find something to keep your mind off this visa doo doos. keepy your eyes on the prize.. your reunion!

Just the other day I was telling my VJ friend about this song and that it reminds me of our
visa delay .........cool song !

I heard this song for the first time now.....it's nice........it's SO true..............."USCIS don't wanna see you together but it don't matter NO.....you (the_dip_sticks) gotta fight....."

Try to stay strong..........

This thread brough tears to my eyes.... dip sticks... hang in there. I know easier said than done. I feel for you - I can never know exactly how you feel, but you never know and I would hope someone would be there for me too. We are lucky to have each other for support! Where do you live are you in the NY area if so, PM me perhaps we could meet from time to time if nothing else just to vent! Also, if you would just like someone to talk to on the phone I'll PM you my number. It actually helps me.

In the meantime, I always say a prayer for all the ladies here and I'll make a special one for you. You are a strong woman to say the least. I don't think I could have lasted almost 4 years, so don't beat yourself up if you need to lean right now!!! Try to seek professional help, it may or may not work. Remember you are not alone in this and you will get through it! Inshaallah soon.

hugs

Esalaam I would keep my head up lady. Seems like everyday for us MENA girls something is coming in our way to slow down things...but as Allah promised there is relief in every trail.
I think if it is all, possible go to your man in the UK. But that is just my 2cents.
You are in all my duúa sister! Bonne chance and never forget your Creator is with you!

I am thankful and humbled by every ones support here. Im thanking each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. Since its easter Sunday I will go eat a whole box Andes mint chocolates all by my self to help me snap out of this doward spiral mode. I will worry about the weight on Monday. At the of the day I got my Adiel and my Mena sisters support......now where did I hide that chocolate box of 28 pieces. I will take a pic of all the empty wrappers when Im done. Arent thoes so good? Wonder if there is such a thing as chcolate intoxication.

Edited.

I am humbled by every ones support here. Im thanking each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. Being that it's easter Sunday, I will go eat a whole box Andes mint chocolates all by my self to help me snap out of this downward spiral mode that I'm in. I will worry about the weight on Monday. At the end of the day I got my Adiel and my Mena sisters support. I feel like no one understands the hell that we are all going through except for thoes that are going through it. Friends and family can say they do, but deep down inside its hard understand something you have no clue about. I suppose thats why I feel at home in this regional forum.

......now where did I hide that Andes min chocolate box of 28 pieces. I will take a pic of all the empty wrappers when I'm done. Aren't thoes so good? Maybe im the only moron that is obossesed with them. It's ok more for me in'it? Wonder if there is such a thing as chocolate intoxication.

Merci beaucoup à tous mes amis ici.

God be with you, and may you find peace, even if it comes in the form of Andes!

Your petition is taking an incredibly, agonizingly long time. The stress on you both must be overwhelming.

Mireya... I have hardly ever seen you complain. You are usually cheerful and patient, and you are always so supportive of others. You deserve a break. Insha'allah you will soon be getting one.

Stay strong for your husband. This process is even harder on him -- if you can imagine that -- as he is the one being scrutinized so minutely. I think it's an excellent idea for you to go and visit him. Even for 2 weeks or whatever you can possibly manage. You both need that close time together. It will help you in helping each other through this.

Thoughts and prayers with you for a reunion, and a visa success, very very soon.



-MK

I’m here to confirm that I ate the whole box up of Andes chocolate mints yesterday. Do I feel guilty NAH. They wanted me to eat them. I heard their little voices coming from the wrappers eat me eat me. It was the only thing I ate all day so at least I feel better about that. HA. I’m off to do my daily status check now. I want this cycle to end soon.

We all need bigger and better things, happy news some where to at least have something to look forward to. With that in mind my yearly visit is coming up. Since things are a bit tight right now we are hoping for June-Julyish to have a little reunion. I can only go for one week because if spend my only 2 work week vacation time at once that means I wont be able to see him for a whole year after. At least this way I can see him now and maybe again towards the end of the year. Its really hard to pick and choose either I go and be with him for 2 weeks and not see him for a whole year or go and see him for 1 week and see him again for another week 6 months latter (pending we have money for a second trip).

Maybe I should start some type of home business and become my own boss so I can have more flexibility to see him. God willing we get to see each other soon, and that we don’t have to push back the date. Tomorrow my Adiel finds out if he got the job he interviewed for last week. I really hope we gets it, it would be a big major help for us both. Are any of you ladies self employed or know of a good home based business?

I'm not self employed but at one point in my life I was making extra money via ebay. I would go to yard sales, etc. and buy up nice quality items such as clothes with the tags still on them, dvd's etc. and then sell them on ebay. I still sell here and there but nothing to shake a stick at. You might want to look into doing that for some spending money.

What field are you in? Is there a need for what you do in the UK? If you were to work over there couldn't you send money home to support the family? Since the UK pound is worth like 1.5 times the US dollar that would give you a kind of a raise too when you send the money over there. I'm sure you've already thought about that but just spitballin' here 'cause I feel bad.

Sounds like something I would do . . . but yesterday I wasn't eating anything, so I am glad I didn't read this then, lol, it would have made me sick since I was trying to prepare for that "medical procedure" where you can't have any food in your system, hehe!!

Hope everything is better today!