Hey guys I am restarting your great thread as it got too big and slowed down the server some.

Link to the old thread:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=22717

OK that didn't work.

In "bringing family members to the USA"


Isn't this crazy, now there's drama for you

Now that we have expelled all that energy in a pissing match let us just calm down and realize that when you post on this site, you are posting to people with very diverse personalities. We are not a cheering team, waving pom poms and encouraging everyone on despite whatever opinions they may have. We are all supportive of people who embark on this journey, but at the end of the day we all have strong opinions about one thing or another and we will sometimes express them. I am not going to hit back tat for tat with the young lady who thinks that I have no children so I do not understand her need to take care of her child. After all I am Caribbean born, with two children. Came here as a fiance years ago and now an American citizen bringing a fiance here. So I guess I really do not know. As a Caribbean man, I felt offended by what she proposes as an option for a Jamaican bro. But again that is my opinion and I did not expres it in a nasty or offensive way. I try my best to say little as possible on here because sometimes you get the feeling that a lot of people looking for support no matter how outrageous they sound. But when stuff is cruddy, I am going to break my silence and say so.

I will continue to read, and I will continue to post. But for those who come on here hoping that they are going to be applauded and cheered and encouraged no matter what they say or do, I am not sure that you are in the right forum. As i stated before Caribbean men are a proud people and just because we sometimes come from countries where the standard of living may not be on par with the US, that does not say that we are any less passionate about who we are. Sometimes the views expressed on here by some make us appear as substandard people and I just chalk it up to ignorance and leave it at that. So I am going to chalk this one up to ignorance again and just move on. Cause at the end of the day, we know who we are deep down inside and if the truth hurts, then so be it. Just do not ask me to shut up cause you cannot stand the pain.

I am in love with a Jamaican man because he is proud and passionate. I completely understand the man that I am marrying.... and I love the life that my finance lives in Jamaica and we have plans to move there once my daughter is out of school, so I don't knock the standard of living at all, and would never consider anyone from there substandard.... again, assuming.... the thing I cannot stand.

I have learned a valuable lesson in these posts.... I came here to get information, and encourage others in this journey along the way, and share my story in hopes that it would assist others. I did not come here to be judged by people that don't know me or my situation.... and have others fears, shortcomings, and insecurities from their experiences imposed on me. So maybe I should have just kept it surface, discussing the technical stuff. Whatever the case, I wish everyone well. But, I am getting enough BS from the people I love, don't need it from strangers I really don't give a damn about...

I went and read that thread. I hope that isn't real If it is, that is some SERIOUS DRAMA!!!

Trinlad...i agree with you....this forum is not only to encourage others but also advice(and sometimes the truth hurts) as well as experience of going through this process....lets just be honest BUT most of the ppl on here just happend to be married to JAMAICAN MEN....so umm duh most of the complaints, talks are about Jamaican men....it also just so happens that a lot of the ladies on here me included happen to be going through the same things with our husbands....there is almost a time line as to when they will say something or do something....so you if you don't like the so called generalizations....you know what get over it...because it is what is happening in our lives and we come to this forum to vent and see if it happend to anyone else and how they delt with it....
to the newbies that feel we are judging you...please.....you post your stuff we give our advice as people who have gone through it and know what could possibly happen....

Glad to see there isn't any negative insinuations or false generalizations coming from your end

I have to agree with nannygirl (and others)...for the most part we are all married to JA men and going through the same adjustment and visa process. Will everyones experience be exactly like everyone elses??? No but there is definitely a HUGE similarity between many members on this thread. Like luvtravlin said there is TONS of couple that haven't made it through the adjustment phase and their JA man went back to JA or left them but stayed in the country. There are also many couples that are still going strong even through all the bumps of life and adjustment. They say the best offense is a good defense. So here on this thread you are getting the whole spectrum...the good, bad and the ugly. If it doesn't fit what you went through *kindly* share with the rest of us how it went for *you* without having to critizise or diminish someone elses thoughts, feelings, or take on the situation.

This thread used to be one big family where people came to encourage and support one another no matter how different the opinions. It is alright to not agree but please at least be respectful. Some of you out to prove how ignorant and stereotypical the rest of us are did nothing more than to prove how disrespectful and mean you can be...sad

Dang, we almost broke the server again

Good morning VJ family.

Every relationship is different and goes through different processes. And every MAN is different, Jamaican or not. I do agree with what someone said above, that sometimes it seems they tend to go through the exact same things. Maybe it is a cultural thing....I don't know. I don't think comparing what has happened to someone personally should be considered stereotyping.

What I do want to say is tha I don't think anyone should jump on anyone else when they make a statement you don't like. If someone is going through a particularly difficult situation, I try to listen to them and support them, even if I don't completely agree with how they are handling the situation. While my own marriage is wonderful and I can't complain, I have been through a few rough relationships to this point. I see similarities in what some others have said on here. Had I read their stories sooner, perhaps I could've saved myself some heartache. It would be far more beneficial to take from this site what you need, whether it be congratulations, support, advice, whatever and leave behind constructive comments. Tearing apart each other is not beneficial to anyone. I've been on one other web site, in particular, where you pertty much palpate the hate. What's the point?

That being said, I don't think you have to censor yourself. Like the one person said, we are not a cheering squad. We do not have to agree with everyone and everything. But, a little tact goes a long way. Say your comments in a less hateful manner and you will still get your points across.

Go ahead -- hate me -- I don't care!!! When I met Roy (three years ago) --

I wish this forum would have existed.

I wish there was a place where people were being honest about what was going on in their relationships.

I wish I could have asked someone all the questions (and concerns) that I had.

I wish someone would have been there to help me understand what was about to happen in my life.

I wish that I had suggestions and real experiences from people who had gone through this before me.

I wish, I wish, I wish.......

Here's the thing -- you ask a question. You get an answer. WE are not here to knock you down. WE are here to supply you with as much information and personal experiences that you can handle. Obviously some people can't handle it. Yes WE do get very passionate about our views and sometimes what we type doesn't translate properly. Me personally, I know some of my posts make me sound like a raving B^%$&. That is furthest from what I am.....

I cannot change how some people feel. I just wish that the "newbies" knew ALL the women who used to frequent this forum -- who WE have not heard from in MONTHS -- SOME YEARS.....why? Their relationships don't exist anymore. Those are the "tales" you all really need to hear. If you heard what happened to them -- maybe you would understand WHY we try to give you honest answers -- whether you are prepared to hear them or not.

Yes, this is a Jamaican forum so we are talking about Jamaican men (for the most part, men). Sorry if you feel we "Jamaican Bash" but what good would it do anybody if we came on here and talked about all our shi^^% experiences with American men?!?!?

Everyone has their own experiences. I hope this forum can continue to host these types of conversations. If we can help just one person -- that will be one less person who is "in the wind."

Yay, recieved TWO copies of packet 3 today!!!
Just scheduled my medical for next Tuesday!!

You are lucky. Some people don't even receive one copy. Good luck.

Two copies? That's great!! Congrats!!

Now to the topic at hand.

I for one don't care if a woman says 'My Jamaican husband is a dog'.
However, I take EXTREME issue with her saying 'Any Jamaican man you bring up is going to be a dog'
Because that is no longer PERSONAL experience, but a BLANKET statement!!
So while I will bite my lip when I hear some generalizations being made in what I believe is ignorance, I will not sit idly by and watch my Jamaican kings being lumped together because of someone's bad experiences.....
Of course I expect women to tell both the good and the bad, hopefully sharing will help someone else in a similar situation. I think it is of paramount importance that the 'seedy' side is shown, the horror stories.
But what needs to be remembered is that the bad in your relationship is not a trend, not a given, but a PERSONAL experience.
I derieve no pleasure from 'jumping' on people or proving they are stereotypical. All I demand is that you treat every situation as a personal experience, not a blueprint on 'What Happens When You Marry A Jamaican'....
Many of the women here are living with their families buying into the stereotype of a 'black Jamaican man' and are vocal in their outrage. Yet many here are creating their very own pet stereotype while critizing the actions of others....

I will always try to support, to educate, to help, to provide any insight I can to help people here.
But I will not sit and watch ANYONE tear Jamaicans to shreds.

That's so funny.....Luvtrvl (?) said the very same thing to me in an e-mail today..

Yes, I'm sooooo happy!
My friend in Jamaica should have picked up my criminal record yesterday or today, so will get that when I go to Jamaica in 10 days
They want me to bring proof of my pregnancyto the medical, I hope waggling my stomach at them will do the trick!!!

I love you Trini Your opinions are ALWAYS welcome It's nice to have different perspectives and opinions on matters.

No one is judging you. We're simply telling you our opinions. Sometimes it helps to examine a situation from different points of view. I think that's the whole point of "bouncing" an idea around on here. And many of us (the vets) that already have our man here KNOW how difficult it was (and still is) to adjust when he first got here. I think we're trying to make you think about all the perspectives thats all.

That’s the truth. I don’t have enough hands to count all the relationships that have failed. Relationships that work out and last long are definitely the minority.

I will give Kelly (luvtravlin) major props for airing her “dirty” laundry. Her story is one of many out there. I choose not to air my “dirty” laundry because of the negativity that seems to abound. I don’t have the “guts” like Kelly I applaud her for being open and honest.



I don’t think anyone has sat here and torn Jamaicans to shreds. It is a simple case of “I have gone through this bad/awful/unexpected/______fill in the blank situation and I know that others out there have gone through the same thing…Not saying it will happen to you but be prepared.” It can’t just be coincidence that 95% of us have gone through the same situations with very similar outcomes and occurrences.

I highly doubt that if you are going to find people who “tear Jamaicans to shreds” you are going to be hard pressed to find them married to a JA and participating in a JA thread. That’s a little harsh.

well put! Everyone should feel free to state their opinion. How's the old saying go? If you don't want my opinion DON"T ask for it!!

SO TRUE!!!

Congrats

YO YO!!! READ MY SIGNATURE!!!!!

Texas....is he coming today??? or on the 8th??

He is going to Jfk for the stamp & will hang with his cousins for a couple of days since he hasnt seen them since forever. He will be on Texas Ground Easter Sunday. You cannot imagine how Happy I am. This ordeal was unbelievable.

I called & called & called & a lady felt my pain & told me to have him come in yesterday. You know they are shut down Fri & Mon which again will cause major delays. God has blessed us again.

Well it is about time! Congratulations. What a nice Easter present.

BIG UPS to you and your man girl It's about time

I guess we should be receiving ours soon.

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

My sentiments exactly!!! I have been a member on VJ for years now and I've been a part of the Yardie thread ever since it first existed. We've always been able to chat about anything and everything - that's what's so great about this thread. If you don't like it or don't feel it's helping you DON'T READ IT Why do you think it's Sooooooo difficult for Jamaicans to get a Visa in the first place? They are a country of high visa fraud - that's just a fact. So obviously NOT everyone is here for noble purposes. But no one ever said that ALL Jamaicans are just out to screw you over and get their green card. We're just relating OUR personal experiences.

Thank you. Part of the delay is with the National Visa Center completing the fingerprint checks. I think, but it could also be the delay in Kingston submitting the request.....Hmmmm that sounds more like it. Good luck yall.

Now to plan a budget, find a job, plan a wedding................Migraine go a way.

Yippee See you got your wish - he'll be here by Easter!!

I've been reading all that's been going on lately, and I just wish that everyone would look at their situations from a different perspective. It seems as though some people are having great experiences, while others are having not-so-great experiences, but the one thing that you ALL have in common is that you are ABLE to have these experiences. As someone who is unable to have these experiences (good, bad, or indifferent) with my SO I get angry AND jealous with all that is going on. I ( and probably many others ) simply want the opportunity to begin to really live together as man and wife and make a go of our lives together completely, but due to unforeseen circumstances, I'm unable to. In a sense, I feel like you should be thankful, because you got what you wanted. And though it may not be what you thought, at least you have the opportunity to make the decision of whether or not you will continue to try. Not everyone has that. Your lives are in your own hands. Ours are not. Everyone should be grateful that they have the power to control their own destiny at this point--good or bad. I have enjoyed many conversations with everyone up here, and I truly appreciate everything that EVERYONE has to say. Please, let's just remember that we are all adults, and hopefully we will be able to agree and disagree without tearing one another down. Love you guys!!

Tamisha

Hey girl, have you heard anything more about your case?

Jeez!

I sign off and go to bed and wake to find that not only has the thread been moved but something akin to Armageddon has taken place. Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

While I am happy that a few disappointed and frustrated posters have a forum where they can vent, I am also happy that we have some mature, analytical and level-headed members to help keep things in perspective and steer us on a more productive (and peaceful) path.

Keep up the good work guys!

Nuff respeck.

I agree. May I add, while many speak of their personal experiences lets not place judgement on others. I laughed last night as I remembered a poem I wrote when I first went to Jamaica, then I thought about the Embassy & the rocky road. I still love Jamaica...I still love their people, the culture. I will not let only few change my mind about all, a country.

Again, lets only speak specific & not express sentiments against all. I too appreciate & respect all ideas. I am always open to learning. The comments I dont care for or agree with --goes out the window. Open Minded.Peace.



Thanks for celebrating with me.

Hello Everyone,

Of course I cannot sit and read this thread (and part 3) and be quiet. As you all know I am new here, and I must stress that you all have been very helpful regarding the immigration process for my husband. This whole thing about generalizations and tearing down our Jamaican men- I must say that everyone's experiences is there own experiences. (I am sure someone said this already, however it must be emphasized.) And whoever discuss their experiences about a JA should state the fact that they are talking about their JA, not everyone's JA. Everyone is different; no two people are the same, regardless of where they come from. And I am sure a lot of us were aware of the sterotypes about our men before we met them.

Also, everyone has the right to take someone's opinon and apply it to their situation. People try to tell me about their bad experience's with a JA all the time. I stop them mid-sentence , and I just get real "hood" with them and be like " nope, naw girl, you aint tellin me bout my man. i know my husband, and if you think i made a bad decision, then good for you. IF (and i must stress the I-F) things don't work out wit me and him, then at least i experienced it myself. let me deal with the heartbreak or whateva. i don't need no warning signs, no watch out signals, or whateva you talkin. i appreciate yo comments and concerns, but i am a grown a** woman, and i don't wanna hear yo negativity about yo JA man, becauze i know what im dealin with." And then I just keep on pushing.

I know there are majority women on this thread, but if there are some men on here, please speak up, we need you. So I hope everyone can try to keep the peace, because you all have been helpful. Even if I don't reply to specific comments, I do read them all and prepare myself. I am very thankful for all of you, because me and my hubby would be lost...literally. We would be so frustrated right now, we probably wouldn't think about bringing him here. But reading everyone's timelines/experiences has helped me realize that me and my husband can do this... we will survive this excruciating process.

(reading this thread + early pregnancy emotions = (excuse me, i must get some tissue now).

Don't go thinkin henry and i aren't around anymore!

We've been crazy with our recent move to the Tar Heel State (NC) and life just gets hectic! We've both got new jobs and we've bought a house. We close in June and I will get high speed. Then I'll be back on.

Good to see you shuttin down more threads!

Peace and Love

Darah

Did "I" miss something that someone said???? I went back and looked and looked, but I didn't see ANYONE say that their Jamaican husband is a dog ??!!!!! If you're referring to what "I" have said in recent posts, I have never said that MY husband is a dog.....stupid sometimes (what man isn't......sorry for any of the men reading).....but I absolutely LOVE Jamaica (that's why I continue to go back, it's my home away from home), the people, ALLLLLL of my friends (male and female) and that includes my husband. Yes I have NO IDEA why he choses to do STUPID stuff withOUT thinking about the consequences....as you will SOON find out when you have a child and raise that child to be the BEST they will be and he or she turns around and makes BAD CHOICES!!!!

ALOT of the things that Craig does IS because of the way he was brought up and witnessed and lived with the situations and experiences "around" him....with the way to treat women, act a certain way etc etc. I have never ONCE said that ALL Jamaican men (or women) are like this and it's been stated over and over and over again (we can't say it enough) that what I've posted has been MY personal EXPERIENCES !!!!!! You do NOT truuuuuuly know someone until you have lived under the same roof......fact!!!

Question for you......Are you marrying an American man???? If so, dag I'm QUITE SURE we could bash the h*** out of OUR american men and NOT ONE AMERICAN WOMAN ON HERE WILL FEEL OFFENDED IN ANY WAY !!!!!!!

Did someone actually say that? I'm sorry but I must have missed that. I don't agree with making a blanket statement like that either.....BUT.....sometimes, when all you hear is the bad, and the bad is happening to you it does get hard to not make "generalizations."

Congratulations!! It's about time!!!

I looked too and couldn't find anything -- I thought maybe I missed it somewhere....

Being in the travel industry for the past 16 1/2 yrs...when a client wants to go to a "warm/caribbean" destination, my very FIRST suggestion is ....how about Jamaica? If I had a penny for EVERYone that has said to me....Oh no, not Jamaica, it's dangerous, dirty, the men rob you like crazy, etc etc etc ........"I" would be RICH !!!!! Since I have soooooooooooooooo much personal experience and I am also a "Jamaican specialist" (in my industry), I educate them as much as possible and to this day, I've never had ANYone of my clients come back to me with a bad experience. We AMERICANS do that to Jamaica in GENERAL and it's VERY unfortunate !!!!!

I will be tracking your messages on our next steps. I will follow them to a T.

OK, someone asked a day ago....WHO IS NEXT UP FOR INTERVIEWS?

Being in the travel industry for the past 16 1/2 yrs...when a client wants to go to a "warm/caribbean" destination, my very FIRST suggestion is ....how about Jamaica? If I had a penny for EVERYone that has said to me....Oh no, not Jamaica, it's dangerous, dirty, the men rob you like crazy, etc etc etc ........"I" would be RICH !!!!! Since I have soooooooooooooooo much personal experience and I am also a "Jamaican specialist" (in my industry), I educate them as much as possible and to this day, I've never had ANYone of my clients come back to me with a bad experience. We AMERICANS do that to Jamaica in GENERAL and it's VERY unfortunate !!!!!
[/quote]


Oh my gosh. & to think that soon I wont be just a visitor or vacationer, I will be FAMILY!!!! IM SO EXCITED.

Biometrics coming up on Saturday...so we need the appt letter, his passprort....anything else??

Nope. That's it.

That's what I was saying..........no more visitor line in immigration...........Nationals here I come!!!!!!

Does anyone here like (or know) who Gyptian is? I am listening to his song "Beautiful Lady." I know this song has been out for a while, but everytime I hear it, it makes me feel like I am at home (JA, that is.)

"She said oooohhh, and aaaahhhh, she never felt so right. I said yeeesss , oh baby, breathe on me tonight...." Just lovely.

He debuted (I think) with his big hit "Serious Times" which is a tuff song about the crime and socioeconomic situation in Kingston. He has a very interesting voice.

I did not state anyone DID call their man a dog, merely stated that IF someone did etc etc, as an EXAMPLE!

As for 'your' personal experiences, must I define the word 'ANY' for you??

And there you go AGAIN with generalizations, have ALL the American women here told you that no matter what ypu say about 'your' American men they won't be offended in ANY way???