I LOVE that show I watched the very first one which was an hour long and it was soooooo funny! Then I watched the 1/2 hour one yesterday. I'm sure it will be my 2nd favorite show (after Grey's Anatomy of course!)

Yes, we want to find out the sex. And yes, I'm going to try to breast feed. At least for the first few months while I'm on maternity leave. After I have to return to work, I'll have to see how it works out.

Future Mrs.... when i went to the interview all they wanted was 1 year!!! but like darlene said better to be over prepared!!!
about the co-sponser yes they need to fill out the 1-864...you need form them...bank statments, letter form their employer, and a copy of their birth certificate...all that info is with the form....you don't need to get it noterized either

Jamie, Dee and ricardo's wife....congratz on the new places!!!!
Guess what add my name to that list as well....i got a letter from mgt. that they are renovating the older apts.(lucky me i have a older one) so we have until the 30th of june to get a new place...or move into another one here that already has a waiting list of 6 other people... as if i didn't have enough already....

I might seem a little impatient, but is is normal that my file has not been touched since the 5th of April which was coincidentally the same day I received my NOA1.

I'm just a little worried that it has not been touched, I look at other timelines at Vermont and it seem like they issue NAO2's or RFE's within 2 weeks of the NOA1. I'm just wondering whether or not they lost my package or something. At one point should I consider calling?

Thanks for your help.

We plan on moving back to Virginia before the end of the summer..we're in Maryland now. Looking for places now. We need more space and more bathrooms....it's hard sharing a bathroom with a teenage girl and a husband who thinks he's the sexiest Jamaican man alive

Okay our compound can be in Virginia . We can make this work We have artist, musicians,teachers, nurses, clerical and government workers what else do we need and who am I missing?
Oh yeah and most of our husbands can cook!!! The Yardie Compound

I vote for Atlanta

Morning everyone...

I have shared my complete story with a couple of people and some have encouraged me to share on the Yardie thread…I haven’t had the courage to do so before now but I can see that it might be helpful and felt that now is the right time. Also I have been getting a lot of questions via PM about my life and the move and just wanted to answer them all at one time...So this is my story and even if it is useful to ONE person than it is worth it.

Please note that this is a PERSONAL account and this is what is happening to ME….I am telling MY story and nothing more…

I went to JA as a missionary. I never stayed in the resorts or did the tourist thing. I stayed in a house with other missionaries the first 2 trips and the rest of the time I stayed in house with a JA pastor, his wife and numerous children. I have always stayed in a little town where I was the only white girl for many miles. I have stayed places without indoor plumbing, taken the showers under the small stream of icy water, used outhouses, gone without electricity, caught water on the roof in big containers to use for bathing and cooking (after boiling it of course), I walked everywhere I went or took taxi’s, hardly ever rented a car, stayed with Andre’s family only on the last trip all the others we lived apart, I have held down a job in JA and gone to work daily, I stayed for months not weeks or days and I can speak fluent patois. I went grocery shopping at the linstead market and cooked for the whole family at times. I had enormous responsibility and at one point I was in charge of getting a little girl (3) up and bathed…doing her hair, pressing her uniform, getting her dressed and walking her to school. I immersed myself in the way of life down there and was very much apart of everything. I knew the culture as well as anyone not born there could. I became so immersed into the community that I was the “browning”. I was treated like a local and I lived like a local. I became a part of a family and a church family. I was no longer thought of as the american in JA but as the yardie who just happens to have come from the US.

I was on my 3rd trip when I met Andre through some of my good friends. We just hung out in groups a couple of times but that was all. On the 5th trip we “officially” started dating and I went to visit 3-4 times again after that staying for MONTHS at a time. We talked on the phone for hours and did the whole LDR thing. We officially started dating on Dec. 27, 2001…engaged May 2004…visa petition March 2005…married Sept 27, 2005. So we knew each other for well over 5 years and had been dating for 4 years probably a good year and a half of me actually being there in JA. We knew each other. I thought we knew each other as much as anyone who could know each other did. We had our ups and downs as any normal relationship would have but I honestly thought that we would be together forever.

He came here and we got married a week later. Things went downhill pretty darn fast to be honest. By Christmas 2005 we were having full blown fights and he had packed his bags a dozen times (sometimes I packed for him) We fought over everything. I tried my hardest to put myself in his shoes. He started lying to me about everything, driving without a license, drinking heavily, into porn, drinking and driving (while heavily intoxicated), being gone for long hours without any notice or phone calls. He started “stealing” money even though we each agreed to give ourselves monthly “allowances” which we could each spend on whatever we wanted (trust me this “allowance” was a good amount of money). You have to realize that this is coming from the man that was a strong Christian and was even the pastor/official of the Wednesday night services at the church we attended together in JA. He had been a Christian for almost 8 years when we got married. So where did the guy I used to know go? He didn’t want to learn how to do anything the american way. I took care of all the financial stuff, all the bills and he didn’t even care to learn about it. He didn’t want to learn how to pay bills, balance a checkbook, taxes, insurance, work stuff etc…I wasn’t expecting him to do it all by himself but I just wanted him to learn how to do it so he could be of help to me and understand how to survive. Once he started working he became too tired to do anything else…unless of course it was something he wanted to do. He couldn’t come home in the evenings or stay home on the weekends and eat meals with me or go for a walk with the dog, couldn’t go to the movies or even sit and watch them with me, couldn’t go grocery shopping, couldn’t go to the movies, couldn’t go our to clubs, couldn’t go to church, couldn’t go out with our couple friends, couldn’t do anything with me because he was always “too tired” but the minute one of his buddies called him up he was out the door for hours…even after telling me 20 mins before that he was too tired to eat dinner with me or do anything else yet I would watch him walk out the door 20 mins later to be gone for hours.

Basically I chalk it up to what I like to call Married Bachelor syndrome with a touch of “kid in the candy shop”. He wanted the perks of marriage…sex, someone to clean and cook, take on all responsibility of a household, someone to work and pay bills, and be there on his terms but wanted the freedom of being a bachelor…no responsibility, partying all the time, getting plastered, going out til all hours of the night doing God knows what. He would go out and never once did it cross his mind to call me. I once came home and got the message that he would be home at 10pm…he had left at 1pm… well I waited and waited with no phone calls or anything…didn’t even have a clue where he had gone… and he finally rolls in at 2:30am wasted. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with it and I should have just gone to sleep and “not worried about a thing. He is a grown man and can take care of himself”…this happens a lot. I eventually found out that he had been borrowing money from a friend to spend on whatever and also to send to JA for his family so now Andre owes his friends tons…not my responsibility. Well one night we got into an argument and Andre had been drinking...He kept threatening me that I should “just wait and see what will happen to me” he kept saying it over and over “you just wait and see”. Well I am not one to be threatened so I got right into it and told him to “show me now…why wait?” He ended up pushing me a couple of times that night and grabbing my hand really hard and throwing me and my arm into the wall. He also raised his hand and told me that if I didn’t stop talking I “would get it”. I told him we would either go to counseling or I was leaving…that was Sept of last year (2006). We went to counseling a few times but then Andre was “too tired” to go anymore and stopped. Andre thinks that if I would just be a better wife THEN he could be a good husband. He blames everything and every action he does on me. While in counseling he admitted that he is lazy about some things (like doing things with me, talking to me, spending time doing things I like to do) and he admitted that marriage is nothing like he expected and it is a lot harder than he wanted. He is not willing (at least at this point) to change anything. We basically live separate lives now and he is totally ok with that. He disappears all the time and he has never called me to tell me that he will be late or that he is not coming home…I am just left to wonder.

I will be moving out the end of this month to my own apartment. He is incredibly ok with this and feels like with a separation it will “give him time to work on things”…more like it will make him feel less guilty of being a crappy person and treating me bad. I can’t live with someone who is verbally abusive (calls me all sorts of nasty things, threatens me), drinks too much, into porn (more than just the average), goes out at all times of the night and all days of the week…misses work because he is too hungover or leaves work in the middle of the day because “he just doesn’t want to be there anymore”. He makes no effort to talk to me or even do anything with me. I spent the last couple months trying to be selfless and make every effort to do things with him, give him his space, let him get it out of his system only to be shot down and repeatedly disappointed. He just doesn’t want to be with me or do things with me…yet he doesn’t want to be without me because its “free” sex, housework and money. Trust me there is only so much a girl can take. All of these traits are new and I didn’t see anything like this while I was in JA…there was minimal drinking, no porn, church every Sunday, church activities during the week, we ate every dinner together, spent every night we could doing stuff together or in groups. I believe that he came here and now wants to live the “american bachelor dream” He is acting just like a college student who just moved away from their parents. He even admits that…but doesn’t see it as being a problem.

So we have agreed to separate and if he gets his act together then hopefully we can resume counseling together ( I go alone right now) but if not then we will be divorcing. It isn’t something that I want…not at all…but right now he doesn’t want to be a husband…and I can’t wait forever for him to choose me and our marriage over everything else. I don’t see why he will make the effort when we are living separate when he can’t make the effort when we are living together…it will only be more work to drive over and see me or call me on the phone. He can’t bother to do things with me or talk with me now…why is he going to do it now that there will be more work involved (driving to see me, arranging things over the phone). So I am not getting my hopes up but I am keeping hope alive as much as possible.

That is just a glance into our lives…there is SOOOOO much more but I didn’t want to type it all. Hope that made some sort of sense.

I TOTALLY understand that not every guy or every JA guy is like this…Trust me I do. I am just telling you my personal experience. Any of the vets can tell you that I never saw this coming and that I honestly thought we had the greatest relationship…I even avoided the “usual” pitfalls (quick engagement, resort romance etc). Again I am just telling you all this so you see a side of the story that most don’t come back to tell. I don’t think it will happen to everyone…not at all…but it can happen and it does…it happened to me. Please save any negative or b!tchy comments to yourselves…No one needs them…especially me. Also if you have any questions or anything I am very open and willing to share.

Much Love my Yardie family,
Jamie

((((((Hugs to Jamie))))) We love you Continue to be strong

They asked for 3 years of my taxes.

JAMIE

I have spoken to you a little about this subject privately, do you know my thoughts on most of this.

If I were in your shoes, I doubt I could've even been as patient as you have been for so long. I admire your strength and courage. I hope it all works out in the best possible light for you in the end.

Please contact me if you ever want to talk.

Wow!! You are one strong woman, he is one lucky man and does not even know it. He will come to realize one day that women like you are not dime a dozen. As a Jamaican man all I can say to you is that you deserve better.

Stay strong, this too shall pass.

I have spoken to you a little about this subject privately, do you know my thoughts on most of this.

If I were in your shoes, I doubt I could've even been as patient as you have been for so long. I admire your strength and courage. I hope it all works out in the best possible light for you in the end.

Please contact me if you ever want to talk.
[/quote]

Jamie, you know I'm here for you, always !!!

This ENTIRE process is allllllllllllllllll about patience. Please remember that we are *married*....some have in their vows...for better or WORSE. Alot of us have seen and felt THE worse. We all know that this is also hard for our SO's, but do we deserve to be treated the way we are treated???????

Craig FINALLY gets it and how life is and how it's going to be and YES it's tough being in America and **having** to work hard for the things we have or want, but that's life and if you are not in it for the long run (rest of your life)......than....ya got to go !!!!!!

Take care of yourself Jamie and I HOPE that Andre gets HIS crap together and knows that you are a really great person !!!

My hat is off to you for being open and honest with YOUR situation.


Kelly

Jamie, thanks for sharing your story. I give you ladies kudos for being able to go public with this. My heart goes out to you and I wish you the very best.
No relationship is easy and having cultural differences makes it more difficult. Stay strong.
This is for all the ladies going through a difficult time. Stay strong.....

Jax you should have a copy of your 2006 federal tax return b/c you had to submit it w/you ITIN application. That should be okay along w/the W-2. By sending in the return plus the ITIN form prior to Apr 17th an extension is not needed. However, one is need for state return. Call you tax guy to see exactly what happened? Also not sure if you knew but you can call the IRS to check on the status of ITIN instead of waiting for it in the mail, however they will only give the appicant the # over the phone. I didn't file an extension for state b/c I was told I didn't have to if I was receiving a refund.

Hey!

Since you guys are talking about taxes, I have a quick question about amending taxes.

[Wait: Good morning to everyone, I hope you all are having a great day. ]

Ok, so I just amended my taxes because I made a couple mistakes. First, I filed online with a filing status as single because I didn't know about the ITIN number for hubby. Plus I received an extra 1099 form that I need to add as income.
So I amended my taxes by paper and I mailed them in at 11:58pm on the day the 17th. Since I have been pregnant I have been losing my mind, and I forgot to send in one of my W-2 forms with my amendment so I have to mail that separately. And then to top things off, I mailed my amended taxes with the application for the ITIN to the ITIN department, because the instructions told me to. (Hopefully that was right, since I am not orginally filing, but correcting what I already filed- but it should because the ITIN is the reason for the amendment.....these are my inner thoughts.)

I have been sitting on my little butt, stuffing my face, and watching Passions and Grey's Anatomy (and Notes From The Underbelly) and I want to get some things together for the rest of this process for my hubby. SO, my question is (whew!)... the paper copy of the amendment...is that what I should send my hubby OR will the IRS send me a new copy of my tax forms with some kind of stamp of approval? I have never amended before..obviously.

Thanks,
Miss Jones

Good Luck everyone on the moves. We are down sizing too, moving into a space that looks like less than half the size of what we have now. It is closer to the city as well. So much for all the nice shopping centers and stores. It would be great if some of you girls lived close. What a great support system we could have going on.

Ditto I'm speechless. Stay strong.

I have a tax question too. I efiled online with softwear I purchased, however I haven't mailed any copies of the return. The softwear never said I had to, anyone know if I need to send anything in to the state or the IRS, I suppose they need a copy of the w2??

What is an ITIN number?

I'm throwing away soo much stuff you wouldn't believe




Congrats. Gald to see you and the fam are still doing well. Are you all moving into a "new" home? Anyways congrats.

We married once. The only family member in attendance was my sister. We've descided we don't need anything more.





I know, I'm late, but wasn't that the truth.

I know I'm late again but WOW...Congrats!!!!!!!! To Rhonda and Jonesie how exciting!!!

Thanks for all the love and support

It feels really good to get it all off my chest and not have to keep pretending that everything is "just peachy"...I have already heard from someone that I really helped them out by telling my story so it really does make it all worth it. Plus knowing that I have the support of you all is extremely worth it as well.

Just wanted to point something out...we are only separating...I am a firm believer in the marital vows and not divorcing but I also believe that God didn't mean for you to be in a harmful situation (both physical and emotional)

I hope and pray that we are able to work things out and that our marriage can be restored even greater than I can imagine...but you do have to have two willing participants and right now there is only one...

Thanks again everyone

For real...she will never make that mistake again will she

Well I'm in Southern Cali, anybody wanna come here?

I've been thinking, the Yardie compund is a really cool idea. But until we can settle on a location hows about we HOUSE SWAP! Kinda like that show Wife Swap, except were not exchanging husbands and wives, were swapping homes for a weekend. If you want to take a quick weekend trip to visit sunny LA, I'd swap my place with you. I'm always down to travel the country and see different states. And how cheap of a trip would that be? Only have to pay for airfare.

Ohhhh this is sounding good and promising...

I will vote for Atlanta or Chicago...though I have never been to either so really I am up for anything Wow I didn't really committ/vote for anything did I

I would love to visit Chicago but it's to cold to live......that's what I'm trying to get away from.

I don't own a house or anything but if you are up for coming to an apt in the middle of hicksville 100+ miles from any notable city....LET'S SWAP I think that is a GREAT idea but I don't really have a location anyone would really want to come too




That is so true! What about Texas...anyone ever been there? Or maybe Arizona...that way we please all age groups as they have retirement communites and family housing

You are soo sweet, and if he knows like we all know he'll get his stuff together cause you deserve sooo much better, and can do much better.

Thanks

Jamie, your post will help more people than you'll ever know...trust me .

You make a great point here Jamie. Those vows you take in the eyes of God are strong and powerful when BOTH people hold to them. Yes it is not good to divorce, but God also doesnt call us to live in agony either. I read your story and it touched my heart dearly. I know how draining it is to live with a man JUST like that. In my situation I was not married, but we were together for so long that I honored our relationship as a marriage,...he did not.

After reading this post I thought of a scripture that stood out to me, and I wanted to share it with you. I Corinthians 7:10-11; 7:15, the latter being the kicker.

Keep strong in your faith, God will give you the answers to make the best decision for YOURSELF.

Oh my Jamie. I'm am truly sorry for all that has happen to you as well. I don't blame you for wanting to work it out. You too have been together for years but not only that he is your husband. You are a strong woman so keep your head up and hope everything works out for the best. Sometimes ppl don't realize what they have until it's gone. We're here to support you no matter what...((((hugs))))

Thanks again...I am so grateful for all the support

Future VJ Compound

Ok so this place is AWESOME! It is in Texas but it is 80 acres and take a look at the pics…can we say Bashment headquarters Plus Texas is warm and there is direct flight service via Houston to JA...Come on people the writting is on the wall

Dee - I have been filing my own taxes every since college when I learn how to do them and I always use those online tax services. You don't have to mail the w-2 when you do electronic filing. The IRS can always obtain those records from the employer (with the employer #). It's imperative that those #'s are correct.

ITIN is an Individual Taypayer Identification Number used to tax purposes only. It's for ppl who does not qualify for a social security # and needs to file a US tax return.

Miss Jones - If I remember correctly amended returns are supplement to the original return. For the interview I would recommend you sending your husband both. Make you get a tax transcript prior to the interview as well. Try calling IRS @ 800-829-1040 about your ITIN application b/c I'm not sure how that works w/an amended return.



It's beautiful..but way out of my pocket book reach..

Yeah but figure another million to build some nice houses and divide