Wow this place died quick

Have a great weekend everyone! Wish me luck as I apartment hunt I hope to find "the one" tonight so keep your fingers crossed!

Girl, you're crazy. I would have dumped the pile on the floor in front of the washing machine and left them there.

Here Here to that! I thought it was just me that was thinking the 'let it slide' comments were a little bit weird! Why would I want to marry someone that was cheating on me from the BEGINNING of our relationship. Do I think I can't get any better? Do I not deserve any better? Do I allow it just cause he's in another country?

I don't understand this logic. I know that people cheat in relationships all the time, but I have never known of som many people who are turning a blind eye on it so easily. What is that all about? No wonder the men get to the US and see all these hot ladies and think its OK to "have friends", you were letting him do it to you before you were even married to one another. SO basically you married a scoundrel of a man, and you knew it, and then you get upset that he's still a scoundrel after you've paid all this money and dedicated all this time to get him here in the US with you.

Does anyone else not see a problem with this here! As a person looking in from the inside, I can see so many red flags in some of these relationships, it absolutely ridiculous.

I don't mean to offend anyone, but some of these comments were just sooo shocking to me. They just blew my mind! WOW!!

hi how u been? im in florida. so hows my hometown?

I know 3 other people who paid "hush money"...one of them were still denied.

I spoke to a consular officer who used to work in Kingston and she told me it is the consular officer's decision how long it will be before they can come back....she used to tell people to come back in six months while others were told 10 years

Here Here to that! I thought it was just me that was thinking the 'let it slide' comments were a little bit weird! Why would I want to marry someone that was cheating on me from the BEGINNING of our relationship. Do I think I can't get any better? Do I not deserve any better? Do I allow it just cause he's in another country?

I don't understand this logic. I know that people cheat in relationships all the time, but I have never known of som many people who are turning a blind eye on it so easily. What is that all about? No wonder the men get to the US and see all these hot ladies and think its OK to "have friends", you were letting him do it to you before you were even married to one another. SO basically you married a scoundrel of a man, and you knew it, and then you get upset that he's still a scoundrel after you've paid all this money and dedicated all this time to get him here in the US with you.

Does anyone else not see a problem with this here! As a person looking in from the inside, I can see so many red flags in some of these relationships, it absolutely ridiculous.

I don't mean to offend anyone, but some of these comments were just sooo shocking to me. They just blew my mind! WOW!!

Hello..
I know that it has been a while since I've posted anything... My husband got his visa this tuesday. I am not as lucky as many other posters, it seems once everyone else's spouse get their visas, they're already on di plane... but my hubby is uneasy about coming... He has ends to tie, he says.. I respect that, isn't there a time frame on which you can travel with the CR visa? I told him two months and he says he will come in almost two months, but I want to be sure..

He wants to come, but he says it makes him feel like he's going to a new school and he doesn't know anyone.. which I guess is true, he knows my family only, I can't think of any ways to ease his nervousness, so I'm going to be patient and understanding, i'm trying.

But is that true with the visa? I know k1 visas have 3 months.. what about CR1 visas?

And I can 100% tell any woman married to a Jamaican that no matter what they say they absolutly "talked" to other women while dating you. Be honest with yourself...It is a real thing and I know alot of real good Jamaicans as well as bad. And even the real gooddddddddddd gooood ones have other friends. Like someone said the immigration process does not let you get to know a person under normal circumstances,...the result is some crazy stuff. And think about this..how many tourists come to Jamaica to visit and how many women are hooking up with Jamaican men...what about the cruise ship tourists...absolutly...one day fling and on their way...it happens girls and it will continue too. Its just reality. Once here like I said you better straighten up or move on back to the place you can do those things...cuz its not with me and its no on my time honey!! : )

Hello..
I know that it has been a while since I've posted anything... My husband got his visa this tuesday.

You can 100% say YOUR man or men YOU know 'talked' to other women and YOUR man and men YOU know whored themselves out to cruise ship/vistors....You CANNOT tell ANY woman that THEIR man did or does this without KNOWING their partner.
Please don't judge all the GENUINE Jamaican men out there by the dengerate standards of the men in YOUR life.

This was the conclusion that I finally came to after doubting for a long time. Nothing is 100%. Even if I met and married someone from the US, even if I knew him for five years before getting married, there is nothing that says that we wouldn't have problems, nothing that says he wouldn't suddenly change and certainly nothing that says that he would not cheat on me.

No second-guessing. Life's too short. Live it, learn from it and keep moving.

Congrats

Hello..
I know that it has been a while since I've posted anything... My husband got his visa this tuesday. I am not as lucky as many other posters, it seems once everyone else's spouse get their visas, they're already on di plane... but my hubby is uneasy about coming... He has ends to tie, he says.. I respect that, isn't there a time frame on which you can travel with the CR visa? I told him two months and he says he will come in almost two months, but I want to be sure..

He wants to come, but he says it makes him feel like he's going to a new school and he doesn't know anyone.. which I guess is true, he knows my family only, I can't think of any ways to ease his nervousness, so I'm going to be patient and understanding, i'm trying.

But is that true with the visa? I know k1 visas have 3 months.. what about CR1 visas?

Anways I just had to get because reading a lot of these post were making me sad in away.


I just saw this online and thought it was a great positive quiz. Take if you like.

The Question is Are you Satisfied with life? Some seem so happy here and some seem not so satisfied .
Score each one from number 1 through 7. 1 being the least satisfied and 7 being the most satisfied.

1. In most ways, my life is close to ideal.

2. The conditions of my life are excellent.

3. I am satisfied with my life.

4. So far I have gotten the important things I want

5. If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing.

If you scored 15 or under, you are dissatisfied with your life. If you scored 31 or higher, you are extremely satisfied with your life.

If you scored somewhere in the middle, happiness expert Dr. Robert Holden has some advice on how to live a more satisfying life. Dr. Holden says the key to being happy is overcoming "destination addiction," which he defines as "living in the not-now."

"It's always about tomorrow, so you're chasing 'more,' 'next' and 'there,'" he says. "You promise yourself that when you get there, you'll be happy. And I promise you, you won't, because you'll always set another destination to go for."

Instead, Dr. Holden says if you are unhappy with your life or looking to improve your score, there are two things you can do. "We have to learn to let go of our past, we have to give up all hopes for a perfect past. Let the past go, it's gone." After that, he says, "Take a vow of kindness. Be kinder to yourself and to others.

"It's never too late to be happy," he says.

I scored a 32

Okay, thanks. But what kind of store, health food store, drug store? How would I know what they are? (I'm sure they don't advertise this use. ) I know that some use golden seal tea. I think there's also a golden seal pill, is that what you're talking about?

i agree to disagre.....yes he did give up a lot to be here this is true...not going to take that away from him...BUT!!!!!! i have and a lot of other vj'rs have as well made sacraficed for the SO to come here.. like you said it is a 2 way street...i'm not going to continue to bend of backwards for him and try to make him feel needed and comfortable when being treated the way that i have been and am being treated....i'm sorry just not fair..

Do you mind if I ask, why are you allowing HIM to make the decision of whether he stays or goes? It's your life. If you are unhappy and feel that he is not doing what he needs to do in order to stay, why not just change the locks or something?

understand that you have to be pretty much selfless for about 2 years. Sometimes a little less and sometimes more depending on how many cultural differences you have to tackle. You have to be able to understand that you are going to give and give and give for a long while with very little back. I can tell you that after these men get on their feet, understand the cultural differences, feel confident and full of pride again they will reward you with appreciation. The wait can be a long one and very frustrating but I can promise you that it does happen.
We feel somehow unvalidated unappreciated if others dont express thanks or appreciation.

Life isn’t easy not matter what situations are thrown your way but it is still your choice how you react and respond. I signed up to be the wife not the mommy.

Here's the thing -- the whole immigration process DOES NOT allow us to really get to know the person as well as we (or they) might like. No bulls*&$ here..... My question is.....would ANY of you marry someone HERE, in America who you met and only saw face-to-face a limited amount of time?

Me -- NO WAY!!! But -- that being said -- I also believe that life is too short to not take chances. You are only given one opportunity here -- what you do with that opportunity is all up to you.

I found 7 different numbers, in his pants pockets and wallet (yep, he was that stupid for me to find them and yes I looked BECAUSE I did not trust him !!!) and when his cell phone bill came.... within the 1st 2 months. He doesn't know that I have his password to get into his phone, he had a message from one chic at 6:41 AM on say a Monday morning. We were at my sons soccer game and he left me a note saying he was at the movies ..........HE LIED !! He was at this chics house watching a movie !!! and I called her to find out the real deal!!!!

No second-guessing. Life's too short. Live it, learn from it and keep moving.

Baby List:

Rhonda
Jax
Jonesie
Elizabeth
Lurissa
Sarah
Mindy
Shemanya
Squitto
Shauna
Anna
Dee

Are you trying to tell us something??

Baby List:

Rhonda
Jax
Jonesie
Elizabeth
Lurissa
Sarah
Mindy
Shemanya
Squitto
Shauna
Anna
Dee

Rhonda + Tony = _______

Here Here to that! I thought it was just me that was thinking the 'let it slide' comments were a little bit weird! Why would I want to marry someone that was cheating on me from the BEGINNING of our relationship. Do I think I can't get any better? Do I not deserve any better? Do I allow it just cause he's in another country?

I don't understand this logic. I know that people cheat in relationships all the time, but I have never known of som many people who are turning a blind eye on it so easily. What is that all about? No wonder the men get to the US and see all these hot ladies and think its OK to "have friends", you were letting him do it to you before you were even married to one another. SO basically you married a scoundrel of a man, and you knew it, and then you get upset that he's still a scoundrel after you've paid all this money and dedicated all this time to get him here in the US with you.

Does anyone else not see a problem with this here! As a person looking in from the inside, I can see so many red flags in some of these relationships, it absolutely ridiculous.

I don't mean to offend anyone, but some of these comments were just sooo shocking to me. They just blew my mind! WOW!!

Baby List:

Rhonda
Jax
Jonesie
Elizabeth
Lurissa
Sarah
Mindy
Shemanya
Squitto
Shauna
Anna
Dee

Congrats

Baby List:

Rhonda
Jax
Jonesie
Elizabeth
Lurissa
Sarah
Mindy
Shemanya
Squitto
Shauna
Anna
Dee

I know the laws are slightly different in each state, but here in Michigan you can not prevent your HUSBAND from entering your home. It is technically his home too because you're married. Everything that's yours is his and vise versa. You have to file for seperation or divorce and/or a restraining order to physically keep him out of the house. This is one of the reasons some women have been forced to take extreme measures (like Trinilad's friend) to get their men "deported". Just an FYI.

ok i never said he was doing this before we married....this happend 2 months into our marriage....and yes i have every reason to be upset....was he doing this to me in Jamaica...well i have no real way of knowing...does anyone???
i never said i was going to let it go..

It's getting a little too heated in here for me -- I'm gonna be taking a break from you guys for a while. I get too emotional when I see people bashing and attacking each other and I don't want it to have an adverse effect on my own relationship.
I wish you all the best of luck and hope all of you have long, happy <and PROBLEM FREE> marriages [/color]

Ditto

I am pretty sure the rest of your post got cut off Are you making an official announcement?!?

I liked this. I scored a 31.

I had a time not so long off, when I was feeling completely unsatisfied, and if most things in my life were pointless. One thing that helped me was my journey to seeking God, the book of Ecclesiates, and my trips to jamaica. Now I feel as though there is nothing happening in my life without reason.

Mindy I totally understand. I use to come on here for support but it is so depressing. I don't think reading all this bashing is good. That is why I said I am sad reading this forum a post back or 2 because I am a very happy person and love life. I don't like dealing with drama. You will be missed on here !! I know when my husband arrives here I will be taking a break from this forum on VJ because it could play with my mind.

The things I am grateful for is my husband, family, friends, a hot meal, a bath, and shelter over my head. Some people don't have these things in life. I look back at my life and say it was blessing and I have the best one for me

So what is the news you put yourself on the top and before you never wanted to be at the top so I am guessing you have a little bun in the oven. Congrats Rhonda. When did you find out? Do you know your due date?

Is this the right gossip??

All the best Rhonda!!!

How you gonna leave us hanging Rhonda?? If you are preggie, congrats

Have a good evening everyone










So what is the news you put yourself on the top and before you never wanted to be at the top so I am guessing you have a little bun in the oven. Congrats Rhonda. When did you find out? Do you know your due date?

Is this the right gossip??

All the best Rhonda!!!

HELLO FAMILY!!! Wow, it took a minute to catch up on whats been going on here.
1st Nannygirl----Hugs to you, Please pray & communicate.
Sonshyne....no visa yet!!!! I know how you feel truly.
Ricardo....congrats.

OK, me. Well, sweetie made it last week. Got the Employment stamp---mission accomplished. He will start work in 2 weeks w. many options. He got sick the first few days because he was up north in the freakin snow. Of course his family up there (need I mind you extended family who didnt do shi***to get him here in the 1st place) didnt know what to do to take care of him etc. The weather was a true shock to his system. He did enjoy meeting them though. Im sure theres more to it that Im not being told. Anyway, his so called cousin screwed him out of his flight a couple of times ---didnt get him to the airport etc. You know I was pissed off. Nonetheless, he is here now. His first day he was sleeping a lot, not talking much or eating. This is what I call depression!!! I know thanks to many of you that this transition will take time. So Ive been helping him through it. We have gone out to a Caribbean dinner, malls, riding around just etc. he has finally met my family (who love him), he has been totally awesome & accepted by my 4 year old--He even started to teach him how to ride his bike yesterday. I need to just get him acclimated to the surroundings a few times. He loves the weather ---he can wear his shorts again. One day at a time. I hate leaving him to go to work, but he is understanding. I am willing to go home everyday for lunch until he gets his job to keep him on his toes & going. I do feel for him. I just have to remind myself that yes, he did leave everything he knew. It did feel like he resented me. I understand though & in time we will be back up. Im trying to get him comfortable & to be happy being here & remind him that he can still be independent. This a.m. I got a "I love you too" which put a huge smile on my face. Tonight we are going to a NBA game & Im anxious to take him to Home Depot & the Market. We went to a Caribbean grocery store which was worthless---no Betty Milk, no blue mountain coffee, no Horlicks--what a mess. All in all, I am still so happy he is here. I keep reminding myself that its not me & he is not on vacation like I was before. One day at a time, one step at a time. I do feel that if he didn't have an opportunity to work quickly it would be devastating. I couldn't imagine having him wait up to 6 months to work. That would be too damaging. My next step is to have him driving.

I also agree. Like Minfay I have been a part of this thread since day one and it used to be a place for support. I remember when I was going through my K1 ordeal this thread was the only place that made me feel ok about a bad situation. It was horrible but I was able to let is pass w/all the support of everyone. However, over the last few days this place has changed but not for the better. I haven't felt any different toward my husband and I won't for that matter. Honestly, it has made me love him even more. I am greatful for having such a wonderful man in my life!!! Yes I don't know if it will work but then again who does? All I know is that I have been through a lot and he is worth every moment I have spent in this ridiculous immigration process and no matter what anyone say or might have said....we will make it because God is on our side. Our relationship have overcome sooooo many obstacles over the last few years and our love is stronger because of it.

I'm sorry for everyone who has been having problems in their relationship and hope God provides you the strength and courage to make things right. Communication is the key...I know it may seem hard but sit down and talk to your man about EVERYTHING. If that doesn't work try couple counseling. No matter what happens remember no one is perfect. I take marriage very seriously....is very sacred to me. I made a commitment not only to myself but also to my husband and to God himself that no matter what we will be there for each other. Life is to short to focus on the negativity. Let's all be positive and hope for the best.

Anna

Guess who's #1 on the list...(well at least I think, if Rhonda hasn't beat me to it)

ME!!!!

Took two tests and both are positive, and still no cycle. Made doc appt for next month. I might buy another brand just to be sure but I've been told that there are usually false negatives instead of false positives
We are so excited

Guess who's #1 on the list...(well at least I think, if Rhonda hasn't beat me to it)

ME!!!!

Took two tests and both are positive, and still no cycle. Made doc appt for next month. I might buy another brand just to be sure but I've been told that there are usually false negatives instead of false positives
We are so excited