Thanks Sonshyne How is your Jamaican adjusting to life in the U.S.? What are his first impressions?

jlvr....You might consider rescheduling your trip next month to the actually date of interview. It is far better to actually attend the interview. In our case, they asked me most of the questions. Plus, the nerves are so crazy that he really need you at the interview to support him. Just my opinion.......

Shauna-Call me girl......I think the adjustment for many of these men is really hard and they begin to act up . Duane and I had a LONGGGGG talk last night...(considering the fact that we are both stressed about me possibly being pregnant) and he gave me a wonderful view into how he is actually feeling....so let me summarize for everyone so that each of us can learn something (especially for those of you that are in the stages of K-1 still:

So...he said that he came to America with so many expectations of how "foreign" was.....primarily based on what he heard or saw through television....even though I had gone over things a million times with him before he arrived, he says that once he arrived, he finally realized that everything was so different.....poverty to some degree was actually worse in America....our econony requires them to work three times harder than they ever worked back in Jamaica, everything is "on-hold" waiting for our crazy government to push the approved button......as a man, he felt helpless and unable to provide, eveything in the house was "mine" and he did not feel anything was "his home", he was homesick, missed his kids, missed his family, he was starting his life all over in a place where he knows nobody but me and has very little to offer me. This can make any man feel worthless and depressed...they kill their free time by doing studid stuff on the internet, sleeping, eating and basically being depressed while we go on and live our life as usual.....

Sooo....now after 10 months of being in this Country, he has finally started to understand my point of view. Our marriage is the main focus, making money to provide for us as a family and trying to save for all the good things like vacations, "new toys" and having good Christian values. He said that it has taken him months to finally get it....He realizes that the adjustment for both of us has been hard and he has acted extremely selfish at times because he only saw the impact that everything was having on him and NOT me........For the most part, we ALL would be kidding ourselves to think that these men did not see any opportunity in coming to America. There is more opportunity here than in Jamaica but for most of them.....this was not their primary goal or reason for coming...They did fall in love with us and most of these men truly do LOVE us and...they really want it to work out. They just do not know how to make it work in the beginning and it takes an incredibly amount of time, patience and energy......Now. some of you may not have had any of these adjustment problems and I admire you....I KNOW for a fact that Duane loves me to death and we have had some really tough times with this adjustment....this is HARD WORK......

So Miss Shauna.......ONLY YOU know how Mike truly feels about you and maybe you need to step back and really get in touch with those feelings. If you think this can be saved, hang tough......it does get better with time.....Duane has really worked hard to adjust and I would have kicked myself in the butt if I let him leave 4 months ago when I packed his SH.....ITTTT....So...hang in there girl.....

I am so sorry things are not working out. What the heck is wrong with these men??? How quickly they forget where they come from! I am here for you....

I am so sorry things are not working out. What the heck is wrong with these men??? How quickly they forget where they come from! I am here for you....

Could you clarify this??

I was wondering the same thing....

Okay, America is the land of opportunity. You can come here and make a decent wage and not worry about where you next meal is coming from. You do not have to work 6 days a week for $60. You have an opportunity to continue your education if you so choose and get a better job. There is so much more offered here. And the fact of everything that had to be done to get them here. And the cost.....
It is not a derogatory remark.
I do envy Jamaicans for their sense of family and respect. Something that is lacking here.
Just like someone who came from nothing, makes a zillion dollars and forgets where it all began.

Question??

While the men are waiting for AOS, can't they get into a training program or something. To keep them busy. I've already found three programs for him to do while he gets his AOS. One being his GED, which I found out last night he can get for free. He wanted to try and find a job right a way but I told him no, it's better to get that piece of paper first.

Now I'm not talking about two and three year programs. If every thing goes well, he'll be up here while i'm on maternity leave so we will have some stay at home time together.

Your posts have been very helpful. Just from reading your posts, have helped me talk about certain subjects with him in regards to when he comes here. As to him being/feeling independent. he has an independant income in JA that can help him when he comes as to paying for one of his training programs and bringing money to help out. So I hope it works out because of course he feels no need to rush about anything

All I was trying to say is that people forget where they came from and expect more. And they forget the people who helped them get there.

Aren't you the one who totally trashed Jamaican men???? And if you are Jamaican why are you living in the UK? And why are you moving to the US???

Thank you Yardies for all your help with my process. It is over now for a couple of years and so I will sign off this site.

Good luck to everyone.

My cousin works for ny transit and she suggested he get his ged because they dont't accept other qualifications. and I actually spoke to someone last night who took the ged class and she said it was a big help, because she had applied to college before and she finished high school in barbados and she didn't get thru she said she applied again after she got her ged and she had no problem. I'm assuming a ged combined with a high school degree from the west indies got her in.

Question??

While the men are waiting for AOS, can't they get into a training program or something. To keep them busy. I've already found three programs for him to do while he gets his AOS. One being his GED, which I found out last night he can get for free. He wanted to try and find a job right a way but I told him no, it's better to get that piece of paper first.

Now I'm not talking about two and three year programs. If every thing goes well, he'll be up here while i'm on maternity leave so we will have some stay at home time together.

Your posts have been very helpful. Just from reading your posts, have helped me talk about certain subjects with him in regards to when he comes here. As to him being/feeling independent. he has an independant income in JA that can help him when he comes as to paying for one of his training programs and bringing money to help out. So I hope it works out because of course he feels no need to rush about anything

ALSO......we have no right to judge anyone. Telling Nanny that YOU would toss him on the street if it was YOU...HELLO???

So to tell Nannygirl I respected her for her patience and that I would have tossed him on the street was JUDGING her?????????????????????

I have a question about the medical. so far we have gotten approval and a case number from NVC but nothing from kingston. I'm going down in JA in two weeks and would like him to do the medical while i'm there. Is the medical just blood testing and testing for immunizations?? Can he get the shots from his doctor and take them to the Medical. I'm asking because i belive i read that if he needs shots that he has to pay extra. and most important question if we don't get an interview date and I bring the letter from the NVC is that enough for them to see him or should he just wait until he gets the notice from the embassy?

Thanks!

since we are discussing shots.........my fiance has no shot records..so should he go to his local doctor to get all the shots (i'm thinking it might be cheaper this way)...or wait til the medical and get them then? will the local doc know which ones he needs? any thoughts?

Question??

While the men are waiting for AOS, can't they get into a training program or something. To keep them busy. I've already found three programs for him to do while he gets his AOS. One being his GED, which I found out last night he can get for free. He wanted to try and find a job right a way but I told him no, it's better to get that piece of paper first.

Now I'm not talking about two and three year programs. If every thing goes well, he'll be up here while i'm on maternity leave so we will have some stay at home time together.

Your posts have been very helpful. Just from reading your posts, have helped me talk about certain subjects with him in regards to when he comes here. As to him being/feeling independent. he has an independant income in JA that can help him when he comes as to paying for one of his training programs and bringing money to help out. So I hope it works out because of course he feels no need to rush about anything

I am kind of getting worried now, I went to school in Jamaica, and even though I have 10 years law enforcement experience, I am wondering if they accept CXC (Caribbean Examinations Council) passes as equivalent to GED??
I also finished a year in university but didn't finish my degree.....

Would be interested to hear if anyone's spouse's Jamaican qualification was accepted?

Just my two cents, if it's a problem, oh well.

My brother-in-law in JA was a dectective at the Ocho Rios Police Dept. When he came here he took classes and obtained his Pharmacy Technican certificate w/o going for add'l GED classes. He was accepted w/his CSC cert. He nows works at Caremark Rx (PBM) as a Benefit Administrator and makes good money. He is also an Assistant Manager at Kinko's (he worked himself up). I think it just depends on the individual.

It might depend on the job requirements my cousin and I spoke about his with reqards to my husband getting a job with transit and she said the ged is now a requirement, where before it didn't used to be, she said transit wouldn't take his diploma from JA. She didn't need a GED when she started there, transit took her overseas diploma but that was 10 years ago

I have a question about the medical. so far we have gotten approval and a case number from NVC but nothing from kingston. I'm going down in JA in two weeks and would like him to do the medical while i'm there. Is the medical just blood testing and testing for immunizations?? Can he get the shots from his doctor and take them to the Medical. I'm asking because i belive i read that if he needs shots that he has to pay extra. and most important question if we don't get an interview date and I bring the letter from the NVC is that enough for them to see him or should he just wait until he gets the notice from the embassy?

Thanks!