Sorry repost, hit the wrong section before:

New to the forum, sorry if this has already been asked but I wasn't able to find a specific example of my situation:

I am considering marriage to a Colombian woman who happens to have a child (by someone else, not myself).
Lets say that I decide to include this child in her K1 petition, and both come to live in the US.

Now my question; if the marriage is sustained long enough for her to adjust status/remain in the country (2 years?) and she then divorces me, what kind of obligation will I face regarding child support for her daughter? Will I be exempt due to the fact I'm not the biological father, or is this obligation applied to me simply because I married the mother? Despite being divorced, will I still be held to obligations outlined in the Affidavit of Support?

Final question: I will of course, seek to limit some of these obligations through the use of a pre-nuptual agreement. From what I've read, I can avoid things like alimony, but prenups have no effect on child support payments. What are some steps I can take to protect my assets in case my marriage to this beautiful mother-of-one goes south?

Thanks much.

man thinking of divorce even before you even ask her to marry you...

I dont think you would have to pay child support if you get a divorce. Unless you adopt her then your on the hook.

Take care

The idea of marriage, period, makes me...
Unfortunately there's no such thing as a "girlfriend" or "getting to know you" visa, someone in our gov'ment should really get to work on that.
I love the girl, but would I risk my future (and that of other members of my family, who I assist financially) for her? nusry.
Muchas gracias for the info tho.

But , upon reading this post, I dont think you are really interested in marriage. To me, love is like an orgasm. YOu really have no idea what it is, until you have it.

You are very astute. I don't know if I want to get married yet. My preference would be to date for a year or so, then decide.
However, I have roughly 6 weeks of vacation yearly... yea, thats not going to cut it.
There's some ~5000 miles between us, and current US immigration policies do a poor job servicing those who are on the fence about the issue.
After research, student/employment/visitor types of visas just aren't going to be a possibility.
So that leaves K-1, and here's the unvarnished truth:
If Uncle Sam demands I rush into a sham marriage (because honestly, 90 days to discover all a person's flaws is just &%#ing laughable) just so I can further explore this relationship, then so be it.
If we stick it out 2 years, and it comes time to adjust status, IMHO thats when the real "I do's" are said.

i understand ur ideas about divorse since divorse in the united states are so high anyway. even americans marrying americans are at risk of divorse.

anyway... if u dont adopt the child then u wont pay child support for him/her.

You would be bound by the affidavit of support for up to 5 years or until the beneficiary becomes a USC (Which will be at least 5 years if you divorce). The one you file for AOS (I-864?), not the one that some consulates use.

Your obviously not sure about it. I would suggest considering other options such as trying to find work in Columbia or a nearby country, either through your current employment or something else. It would be quite an adventure, and you will have a better chance to find out if you two are going to make it together. Though that does depend on your skills, most expat type jobs are really only open to people with specialized experience or upper level managers. Getting a tourist visa for her to come here is pretty much hit or miss.

K1 is not to date, it is to get married, you are given 90 days to do that

Sounds like you need to move down there for a year or so and date.

The Affidavit of Support is not limited time wise, it could last for your lifetime, there are certain events that can release you, death, their leaving the country, obtaining Citizenship, 40 Quarters of work - which would be a long wait for a child.

It is not US immigration's goal, or purpose, to "service" anyone other than those wishing to immigrate. That is their only purpose for existing. Uncle Sam is not demanding you rush into a sham marriage, on the contrary the govt. wants you to be sure before you go bring your significant other here to live with you. (It is not only so the beneficiary will not become a public charge that getting the visa requires the Affidavit of Support be filled out by the petitioner. Filling that document out, and knowing that you are financially responsible for that person should also make you think whether this is really what you want.)

Stating that you do not want to get married yet, you're in effect saying that you don't know if you love this woman enough. That said, it is unfair for both you and her to go through this difficult process (and believe me it is a difficult process...even under the best of circumstances) of acquiring a K-1 visa, then having her give up her whole life there to come join you in the US, only to "date for a year or so, then decide" . It is too large a sacrifice....and I'm thinking here about a sacrifice of the heart.
This visa is truly only for those that are sure that they want to marry that person.

You are free to travel to her country....take your six weeks vacation and go visit her, come back and think about it and do it again the following year.....and repeat until you know for sure that this woman is the one you want to live out your days with. Otherwise you're setting yourself and her up for an exercise in futility. The K-1 visa is not a "let's date and see if we're meant to be together or not" visa. Don't use it for that purpose!

No kidding it made me think, thats WHY I asked the question in the first place!



That's retarded and you know it. How many guys out there have girlfriends hinting at marriage? And of those guys, how many still have reservations about taking that next step? Does that mean they don't love the women they are with "enough"? Does that mean they are not interested in making a life together? After two failed marriages my mother settled down with a nice guy, but they aren't married... its been 9 years now, and neither seems to show any desire to get married again.



Says you and Bush! Who are you to decide who I can and can't date, and how/where? Like I said before, they don't seem to offer a visa that fits my situation (if they do, please enlighten me, I haven't discovered one) and it isn't likely they will until there is widespread immigration reform. Riddle me this: Why should USCs with foreign spouses from countries like England and Canada be able to obtain visitor visas to be with their loved ones, yet I am excluded, because my spouse happens to be from a country with a spotty heritage (a good deal of which is due to being ravaged by AMERICAN desire for coke, and companies like Chiquita and Exxon paying off FARCanos to protect their investments while they steal national resources)? So until there is equality all-around when issuing visas, I feel no regret about exploiting the K-1 to acheive this end.



No offense but you just aren't making sense here. How does visiting for 6 weeks, then being absent for 10.5 months, in any way simulate a functioning healthy relationship? What woman would put up with that? My goal is to get her here and THEN we can feel each other out. And with all due respect, I will use the K-1 to whatever end I choose. The government doesn't care about my relationship, it cares about money- of which I am something like ~6 times the poverty limit- so as long as I meet/exceed the same requirements you do, you have no right to tell me how to date.

I'm sorry, but there's a CHILD involved here. Do you have any idea how devastating it would be for the child to be uprooted and then shortly thereafter be in the middle of a divorce? I'm actually quite at a loss for words.

Agreed, with one small clarification. "Whichever comes first".

heheheh, thanks for the uplift today--I needed it!

No, there is no boyfriend/girlfriend visa--many of us have looked for just such an animal.

I'd like to clarify one thing for you; the reason visa are more difficult to get from some countries isn't based on a 'spotty heritage' in the way you state, but on the spotty heritage of her fellow countrymen who didn't keep the terms of their own US non-immigrant visas.

Your child support question is interesting, and I haven't seen it discussed anywhere before. I'd defer you to an attorney, experienced in both immigration and family law. And hopefully does a lot of work with the country in question.

No that is not retarded. Your situation does not afford you the luxury of having reservations about taking the next step. So it comes down to love or lack there of. If you love her, then take the next step, fill out the application and bring her here to live with you, OR find a job in her country and live there with her.


I'm not going to touch the first part of you comment. I'm not in agreement w/ the President on any issues, but that is my political choice so lets leave it at that. The reason the English and Canadians (& all those people from countries that are part of the Visa Waiver Program) are allowed to come here freely w/o a visa is because they do not have a history of overstaying their visas....NOT because of coke, Chiquita or Exxon or whatever. But small newsflash for you...if you are pursuing a K-1 visa without being sure that the woman you're bringing here is the woman you are going to marry you are in effect lying on that visa application....which may constitute fraud! The I-129F petition is for an alien Fiance(e) to receive a visa (the K-1) to come to the US and marry the USC who petitioned him/her....not to come here for a trial period...to see if it works. If you are intending to use it for that purpose you are not being honest.





No offense taken...but read through the personal stories of some of the members here on VJ....10.5 months is the least amount of time some of them have been separated from their loved one, and they've been able to make it work.
I'm not telling you how to date....but it is in part people w/ attitudes like yours of "I will use the K-1 to whatever end I choose" that is making USCIS overly cautious in issuing approvals to the I-129F and consulates all over the world grill beneficiaries to the death about the validity of their relationships. So when I advised you to go to her country for your period of discovery, I was merely offering you the alternative you have available to you under the law. It is not an easy one....but it has been done.

Now on to the last piece that bothered me the first time I read your original post, and it bothers me now.....



How could you even think about not including the child (unless he/she is over the age of 18) in the petition? A child must go with the mother, unless there are circumstances we are not aware of. Your subsequent questions regarding your responsibility for paying child support, should you divorce demonstrates to me even further me that you do not love your woman enough.
I am sorry if you feel that my view on this is too simplistic but if you loved her, divorce and your possible financial responsibility for a child that is not yours would be last thing on your mind!

The child is 8.

OP is running two threads on the same subject.



It is very unusual for Citizens of those countries to be able to obtain a Visitors Visa. And it would not in any event to be with their loved ones, it is to visit and leave.

If your fiancee?/friend wants to visit the US she should apply for a B2 Visitors Visa at the US Consulate.

No, actually, you are incorrect. Visa overstays are nowhere near the most significant factor.
There's a whole lot more in the equation, i.e. extradition treaties, reciprocity, authenticity of passports, etc..
Please see http://www.travel.state.gov/visa/temp/with...thout_1255.html for details on what makes countries eligible for the Visa Waiver Program.
Clearly indicated under "types of issues considered" is:

* Existence of security and law enforcement threats in the country (terrorist activities, organized crime, money laundering, human and drug trafficking, etc.)

Which most certainly applies to FARC/AUC/ELN and their drug running.
Chiquita exacerbates the problem by financially supporting these terrorist groups and death squads.
Read all about it here: http://narcosphere.narconews.com/story/2007/3/17/231647/347
Get your facts straight, k?



Err... this statement is just confusing, and is about the most liberal definition of fraud I've ever heard of. I'll take my chances.




Oh certainly, already have. I'm not new to forums in general, I know how to lurk. But let it suffice to say this approach will not work for me, and leave it at that.



Again, you are incorrect. You need to READ more, rather than trying to present your opinions as fact.
Maybe you should actually read the very site you post on! http://www.visajourney.com/faq/k1k2visa-I129f.html

"If your fiance(e) has unmarried children under 21, they can move to the US also. List all children under age 21 on the I-129F petition, whether or not they are going to move to the United States. When this petition is approved, the fiance(e) can apply for the K1/K2 visa."

See those words, "if", "can", and "whether or not"? Are you unable to infer the meaning?

And WRT me not including the child- get off your high moral horse, please. I never said I was seeking to leave her child behind, in fact everything I've written thus far (including the question in the OP!) points directly to the contrary.

@ Boiler: Thanks for the suggestion, but visitor visas from Colombia are nearly impossible to obtain. The applicant must demonstrate proof of significant financial, career and family ties. A bank manager w/significant salary and who owns his own home would have a tough time getting one. Apologies for running two threads, I misposted and well, both seemed to blow up before I could delete one.

To your original post.
"Now my question; if the marriage is sustained long enough for her to adjust status/remain in the country (2 years?) and she then divorces me, what kind of obligation will I face regarding child support for her daughter? Legal Question - suggest seek Legal Advice from a qualified professional with your best interests at heart.

Will I be exempt due to the fact I'm not the biological father, or is this obligation applied to me simply because I married the mother? Legal Question - suggest seek Legal Advice from a qualified professional with your best interests at heart.

Despite being divorced, will I still be held to obligations outlined in the Affidavit of Support?Legal Question - suggest seek Legal Advice from a qualified professional with your best interests at heart.

Final question: I will of course, seek to limit some of these obligations through the use of a pre-nuptual agreement. From what I've read, I can avoid things like alimony, but prenups have no effect on child support payments. What are some steps I can take to protect my assets in case my marriage to this beautiful mother-of-one goes south?Legal Question - suggest seek Legal Advice from a qualified professional with your best interests at heart.

Thanks much. "

OP- It is not likely you will find legal council here on VJ, and if you do, it is not likely they will be able/willing to give a satisfactory answer in an open forum without your revealing many personal facts; something I would encourage you not to do.

There are many well-meaning people here on VJ and many have attempted to give some kind of answer while others (since this is a family-based site) have given their opinion based on a moral value that they hold very close to their hearts (as they should).

I don't speak for everyone, only myself, but I wish you well and I certainly encourage you to protect your assets, your well being, and the well being of your future family. The best advice anyone can really give you here - whether you choose to take it or not - is to seek the individual help of a qualified attorney.

Edit: The quoted sections included in my post (except the OPs original questions) were not intended to be there.

You think you can use this the way you want just because you have $hitload of money? You think you can fraud ( yeah it IS fraud to use the K-1 that way) and that nobody cares? Well, let me tell you, you are on the wrong forum to bring that up. I'm canadian and as far as I am concerned, its not given to everybody to use that visitor Visa to spend 6 months together like you claim we can do, I have barely seen my fiance 60 days in 18 months. You're making me very mad, but I'll stay polite. Get an attorney for your financial questions, and /shoo away.

You think you can use this the way you want just because you have $hitload of money? You think you can fraud ( yeah it IS fraud to use the K-1 that way) and that nobody cares? Well, let me tell you, you are on the wrong forum to bring that up. I'm canadian and as far as I am concerned, its not given to everybody to use that visitor Visa to spend 6 months together like you claim we can do, I have barely seen my fiance 60 days in 18 months. You're making me very mad, but I'll stay polite. Get an attorney for your financial questions, and /shoo away.

edited: double post

edited

Here we go again.

When I referred to "visitor visas" I misworded. Excuse me. As others have pointed out, what I was alluding to was the Visa Waiver Program (VWP)- which basically allows citizens from a select 27 countries to waltz into the US with nothing more than a machine-readable passport, for a periods up to 90 days.

As for your specific situation- I listed Canada as one of these countries, but that isn't quite true. Special rules exist for Canadian citizens which are similar to the VWP, but are actually MORE lenient. Details available on the Canadian/US embassy site, here: http://www.amcits.com/exceptions.asp

"Note: In almost all circumstances Canadian citizens do not need visitor, business, transit or other visas to enter the U.S., either from Canada or from other countries."

Yeah so... if you've only seen your fiance 60 days in the last 18 months, my guess is it has nothing to do with Visa requirements. Get a f'king machine-readable passport and you can WALK over the border- is this really news to you? My prospective spouse can do no such thing- through neither my fault nor hers, and I see that as unfair. I don't care if I'm making you mad- its not my fault you're grossly uninformed, eh?



Also, telling me to /shoo is not polite. That's like me saying, "no offense, but LOL @ meeting your spouse on WoW!"
My thanks to all who have provided personal experience and informative, objective opinions; my question has largely been answered. To those who've felt the need to browbeat me with their anglo-christian views on marriage and other crap, thank you for the opportunity to hone my debate skills. Mods might as well lock this, any useful information has already been dispensed with.

















...lolWoW

ok you can talk crap about anyone else on this board and its up to them to say something about it themselves, but I will not stand here and let some fool talk about something he has no idea about especially when it comes to my mephys. Yeah I could care less about your situation, you can use whatever you want to use to do whatever you want to do, if your shallow enough to abuse a privelage to your liking then by all means do it pal, but keep your opinios about Mephys and myself to yourself. Go live your life any way you want to, but when you open up yourself for emotional comments about a difficult process that mostly everyone on this board has lived though, you had better be able to take them with the same enthusiasm that you posted your question with.

Oh and WoW, was just a point that we happened be at the same point at the same time and out of Millions of people that happened to find the person that we knew we always wanted but never knew existed. So STFU about trying to have fun with a point of conversation that you know S**t about and go /shoo........

dont even bother posting a reply to this cause I could care less of what you have to say, just know to keep your mouth shut...

A point of information: Canadians can, and have been (myself included) refused entry if the border official knows that the purpose of the visit is to see their "friend" or spouse. This can occur even if the Canadian has an approved petition and carries lots of evidence of ties to Canada (employment, housing, etc.) and has a "machine readable passport".

Lol at WoW yourself! Who are you to judge how people meet? And how is meeting on WoW worse than what you're talking about doing?

predicting this thread will be on lockdown soon. Till then,

Just wondering, not trying to argue- what do you usually say to the border guy? Whenever he asks I just say vacation (but undoubtedly USCs are under much less scrutiny). Would he have refused you if you said you were going to check out Niagra falls, or maybe go camping in upstate New York for 2 months?



I'm not judging, but I do have some experience with the matter. Being that I'm pretty familiar with the MMORPG world myself (former ffxi junkie), this was just too easy a shot to resist. I've seen the entire gamut of relationship horror stories on these games: people being used/seduced for items/gold, people straying from REAL LIFE relationships/destroying their marriages over someone they met in-game, longtime friends fighting over a digital cat-girl only to discover she's really a man, people being tricked into giving out their personal information and then account stolen, people having cybersex then posting it on forums to embarass people, I could go on and on. Hell, I can't lie, I was sweet on my own pile of pixels once. On the surface, an MMORPG seems a perfectly innocuous place to meet.. like any internet chat room. The caveat being, the types of people who are drawn to MMORPGs tend to have very escapist personalities. I've met many girls who "date" within the framework of the game, due to poor treatment at the hands of men IRL. Alot of guys who "date" there because they haven't had much luck approaching women IRL. Lots of low self-esteem all around, which is basically a prerequisite for playing this type of game- its what allows people to grind away for hours performing mindless tasks they don't enjoy, trying to get a virtual sword, instead of going outside (and this was me for 2 years, if you have a WoW character 60 or over, this means you, too). What I've observed is that, when these people who meet in game get together in real life, they argue ALOT, and have huge difficulty resolving conflicts- resulting in even minor disputes being blown severely out of proportion. The part about MMORPGs that appeals to alot of people (having total control to create and customize a personality all your own) also tends to make them insular and uncompromising, having difficulty relinquishing a portion of this control to their significant other.

Anyway I've rambled long enough, I hope for you guys' sake nothing I said hit TOO close to home.

I replied to a thread yesterday on another Board from a Canadian who had been refused entry.

People who seek entry on the VWP are refused every day. All a VWP does is allow you to get to the gate, US Immigration, whether you get let in all depends on your individual situation. Plenty of examples on this board of those who have failed.

To the OP:

Re your original question, I agree you need a good attorney, preferrably one well versed in both immigration and family law.

Re the idea of marrying a woman, a mother of an 8 year old, and bringing her and her child here to the US: IMHO in all fairness to all concerned, and particularly the child who has no voice here, you need to be MUCH more sure than you are about marriage to this woman before you go turning everyone's life upside down.

You remind me a bit of myself... you will be much happier if you accept that the system/the world is NOT fair (and really, although we are commonly raised to believe in fairness, there are NO examples of it in nature... it is a nice dream but nothing more), and learn as much as you can about how to get to know this woman better BEFORE you make any commitments other than those you are prepared to keep. Anything less is a really mean thing to do to an 8 year old, never mind his/her mother.

Best wishes,

Maya

OMG OMG OMG


user 149's view and opinion about the K1, immigration process and marriage are actually pushing me towards approving completely all the hoops the USCIS has/ had us legitimate couples jump through.....
I'm going to require therapy for this.....


user 149, you got the answers you are going to get- stop continuously rousing other people here just beacuse we are VERY emotional about the immigration process and you don't like what we have to say....

most VJ members come from legitimate relaitonships, they know full well what the process entails before they get into it, they make their decisions and do what the gov requires them to do because they WANT to spend their lives with their soulmates.....

you saying how you don't know if you want to get married, and giving the impression that you would use K1 as a dating visa of sorts is demeaning and disrespectable of all those who went through this heart wrenching process...

Hrm. Fair enough, that sounds pretty accurate. Still, I envy people from VWP countries, who have even just a chance for a few casual visits.
What irks me is, I could be the perfect spouse (I know, haha, right?) and my fiance equally so- but she might just get here and decide it sucks/be homesick, maybe she won't want to learn english, etc.
Who knows? maybe we'll split just based on the culture shock. Ask some of her more uppity countrymen, they'd sooner spit on their children then move to the US.
She might get here and decide she hates me. Entirely possible! I'll be the first to admit that the me thats on vacation is not the same person that lives day-to-day at home- its just not an accurate comparison.
No bills to pay on vacation, no doctor visits, no arguments over picking up the kids, chores, etc.
There's just no way to gauge how day-to-day living will be until she's over here.
I'd give anything just to show her around the States for a month and just get a feel for the whole situation, her opinion and mine.

@ Maya:

I hear you, re: being fair to the child.. its a bit of a quagmire for me. I didn't find out about her till my subsequent visit (~3 months after we met). I came back specifically for my girl's birthday, wanted to do something nice for her, she's really sweet.. so I'm at dinner with her and her friends (one of which is kinda our de facto translator). At some point during the conversation (I speak passable spanish, or at least enough to eavesdrop on people who think I can't) and I catch something to the effect of "when is your daughter's birthday? she'll be how old?".

I imagine I went pale f'king white (and I'm a black dude). I tried to hold it in, but clearly it showed on my face, as suddenly they're all laughing hysterically. Now her friend is chiding me asking "whats wrong, you don't like her now that you know she has a little girl?" had she been a guy I might have slugged her. My girl was also visibly embarassed- evidently that was not how she had planned on breaking the news to me, and her friend (who I believe is a tad bit jealous) was just really hamming it up bigtime. I kept my composure, even tho I hadn't a fucking clue what to do next.

So I was left with a terrible quandry. I really like this girl, but bringing a child along was NOWHERE in my plan. I could have dumped her right there on the spot, I probably SHOULD have, but I really like her. I couldnt say I love her at that point, its was like our 5th date or so. So I return to the states and mull over the problem, for a long time I'm torn. Eventually I'm like f'k it, you know what, I got a bit of dough.. if it came down to it I think I could live with bringing a child along too. So, several months later, cut-to and present day I get on this message board and try to actually find out what I'm in for if I do bring them over. Immediately I'm proclaimed a troll, flames and hilarity ensue, and well, you know the story from there.

You're getting down to the crux of it now.. well, I have a feeling you've been there all along, you just misfired with your original post.

What you describe above could happen to ANY of us (and it has, for many many already!). Too bad we can't buy insurance against it!

The major hurdle you face is the kidlet. Two adults can take their chances and if it doesn't work out, oh well. Maya speaks from personal experience and I'd give a lot of weight to her words.

Have you sepnt any time investigating alternate visa types that would accomplish your stated goal? It seems pretty clear that marriage should be postponed for awhile. I also noticed somewhere that you said marriage was her idea. This should factor in your investigation/idea exploration.

You know, I'm glad you touched on this. I'm guess that alot of the enmity I'm getting from board members is due to their perception that I'm not taking this process seriously enough, or in their eyes that my relationship is not "legitimate". Well they are certainly entitled to their opinion. Here is mine: alot of you write with this all-consuming passion about the trials and tribulations of the immigration process. Using words like "soulmate". So emotional you can't even see the objective side of an issue, you look down on people like me who would like to discuss the worst case scenario. Haven't you guys ever heard of Murphy's law? The absolute saddest thing in existence, is watching two people who love each other so passionately... breaking up. Yes, it DOES happen, 50% of the time. Happens so often, there's a part of the forum dedicated to it. Some of you guys have worked up such a head of steam about your relationships- its going to be all the more tragic when some of them fail.

Look at the way older people conduct relationships. I mean like those born in the 30's and 40's- people with decades of marriage. Examine their relationships. Its not about firey passion (which is cool for the 15 minutes it lasts) Its about finding someone chill. Someone who you can tolerate and grow old with. Someone who shares your ideals and can see eye to eye with. It doesn't have ###### to do with marriage, or being "soulmates", or even love. Yeah I said it. Might shock you to know, in some countries people get married for reasons that have nothing to do with love, and end up spending wonderful lives together. Its been going on for thousands of years in India, and many other cultures around the world. Alot of the people on this forum are simply just dead ignorant to the fact that (and I'll make it big, cuz CAPS LOCK is cruise-control for cool):

SOME PEOPLE IN THE WORLD HAVE DIFFERENT IDEAS ABOUT MARRIAGE THAN YOU DO!

Also, I'm not "rousing" anybody. If you read the thread you'd see not only did I state my question was answered, I suggested mods lock the thread. Doesn't have anything to do with me not liking what you guys say- you want to keep arguing we can do so till the cows come home. I'll always win too, because as you stated earlier, most of y'all are an overly-emotional bunch- I'd say like 30% of you are thinking clearly.

Chao!

The fiancé visa isn't a 'getting to know you better' visa. Maybe you think there should be a 'girlfriend' visa, but there isn't one now (and you can only imagine the logistical headaches.. on the other hand, it sure would make the fiancé process easier as the fraud would all go to the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' class.), so it's really neither here nor there.

So, are you ready to get married? Are you ready to get married if it means supporting a child? It seems the answer to that is 'no', and 'no.' I'm sure a lot of people rush marriages because of immigration, but this seems a very bad idea when as you say you're not sure you're in love, and definitely aren't sure about the child. How long have you known her? How did you meet?

An attorney will help you get clear on family law and how that might apply to her kid, but if you wouldn't marry her if you'd end up being on the hook for her child, it's a sign that you two need more time.

It probably will be hard for her to get a visa to the U.S. Could you work where she is? Could the two of you work in a third country?

Unfortunately, I dont see how you are not trying to judge people. I do admit that a large population of MMORPG players are the way you describe. But open your eyes, it's not only that. They are people out there that play only for fun, some other play with their friends for a while. They are some couples playing together, some teens that play with their daddy. Once in a while can be fun. Yeah we met in the game, we actually hooked up on each other because it was the first time ever we could play with someone that was respectful and smart ( of course there is a bunch of stupid people in there). But the relationship continued on another level, OMG we actually met IRL.... This game is for us the only activity that we can do "together" while being 900 miles apart. Can't wait to cancel my account and go take a walk in the park with my love and have a bike ride with him and his kids in 2 weeks. Its sad to hear someone like you judging because you think you know everything.



And as for that, I do feel sorry for you that it happened that way. Its a good thing if you decide to stay with her, a child is not necessarly an obstacle, and I know what I am talking about, my fiance has 3 boys, 2, 4 and 6 years old. You can probably bring more to this child than you can imagine.

But anyways, no matter what you do, keep in mind that yeah you offended people a lot with your comments because we are all working very hard to be with our significant others, and seeing people purposefuly misusing the K-1 visas can be really irritating. I hope you find the way, its all i can say now.

FINALLY. Someone gets the point.

I'm having a hard time seeing how 'we met on WoW, and then met in real life and dated' is worse than 'I knew her so well that I was thoroughly shocked to find out she had an eight-year-old.'

user149,

Sounds like you have your answer, then? Your concious is just having difficulty accepting, or believing, what your subconcious is trying to tell you?

Yodrak

Mephys knew about everything in my life BEFORE we ever decided to do anything with each other. Thats the only way to start a relationship, and its the only way to keep one......

user 149, please stop with the condescending attitude just because you do not like what you hear....

you have received plenty of answers, from strictly fact-to-fact ones to the ones injected with personal beliefs and yet you continue this thread in an argumentative tone, in what seems to me an attempt to convince all of us about something that you are not willing to admit to yourself.....


for what it's worth: if my current husband neglected to mention the fact that he has an 8yo, I would take the time to really look hard if the realtionship is really what I want it to be...as it is I found out about my husbands 8yo long before we were ever an item....

Maybe instead of spending your time here arguing with complete strangers you should have an honest heart to heart with your girlfriend and more importantly with yourself....