Sorry ladies, I'm not one to do this, but I'm at work and the steam is flying out of my ears.

My fiance's cell phone is so unreliable it's not even funny. Not to mention, I have told him time and time again to make sure his phone is on at all times, don't let service lapse. We thought a mobile would be better than another house line. Apparently not,

I've been calling him for 2 days now and can't get through and with all the stress and headache, I'm ready to just say - good luck on your interview and call me when it's over. That is sooo mean I know, but I've done everything I can on this end and since he doesn't understand how important it will be for the consulate to reach him for his interview date, who the heck knows what will happen.

UGGGGG,

hope you all have a great eve and thanks for listening

I'm not so crazy about their pc keyboards either.

{{{{{{huggggsss}}}}}} Don't worry, things always have a way of working out.

Awwww it happens to all of us at one time or another. The networks in the MENA region pretty much suck. Don't get yourself upset. I know, easier said than done. I hope you get ahold of him soon

Sometimes God forces a silence on us. We don't always want it or like, but it always seems to serve a greater purpose. I remember the stress too well of dead phones and lousy networks. Just hang in there. The day will come this will be a dim memory.

Jean,

I know you're right and I've thought about it from that point a view quite a bit. thanks,

LL

Do u think maybe its a (guy) thing, they dont seem to get so exicted and stressed as us. I know im saying did u get.....did u do.... and it just doesnt seem to affect him in the same way. His phone does pretty good, but the computer has its days.

Its a guy thing, but I've seen it get to my fiance once. For me it's gets me every time but he had a little melt down of his own, in his own way.

Funny thing is I didn't call my husband this weekend on purpose - last week we had a little misunderstanding when he was blaming me for not doing enough for him to come over. I got pissed - can you blame me?
I have a way of texting him but he doesn't, but right now he's in the area where he can check his e-mail, and he did - read his 2 e-mails from me and wrote back nothing!!!

Does it make me want to call him? I don't know. Does it make me even angrier? Oh yeah! Don't know how long I can keep myself from calling him, but I'll do my best and see what he does! I'm sure it's a guy's thing!!! And lots of times he just turned off his phone no matter how many times I've asked him to keep it on! Finally, we're over that! That I think, is a MENA thing - not too sure about that.

But you're right, sometimes (pretty often) the connection or something's not working. It takes me hours to get through, sometimes days...

One time he was somewhere where network didn't work and I wasn't able to reach him for two weeks. Blame the network, don't get upset!

It REALLY got to Mohammed, but he didn't like to show it. Definitely a guy thing. He was either cold or freaking out.

I really want to comment on this. I did this to myself too. "OH MY GOD I SENT HIM A TEXT AND HE DIDN'T REPLY!!! THE NERVE!!!" and all kinds of similar things until I would make myself half sick sometimes. I didn't realize until he got here what kind of pressure I was laying on him. I was strangling him with my insecurities. (hell this process will tear down your security level to the bare bones at times) His reaction was usually to put even more distance between us, turn off his phone. call late, etc. I sure can't blame him. I would HATE it if he tugged on me like that. He never stopped caring, always remained faithful, but he needed to BREATHE too.

Ok I'm gonna risk sounding like a manipulative wench but it puts them in check when you don't call for a few days. I did that last week, not because I was angry but because I was just in a funk. Well did that put my husband in a panic. Boy was he kissin butt when I finally did call

I thought I was the only one with feelings like that !
I have also not called as sometimes he gets complacent with receiving all the calls so
I stop calling and then he is in hot pursuit again freaking out why I have not called. It is not in my nature to hang on a man's pants leg but this visa process has transformed me into an insecure woman and I can't stand that so I am trying to get a grip and deal with this.
The network really is horrible and half the time the connection is terrible and it is a constantwhaaat did you say....repeeeat that......so much for a romantic conversation!

I'm the same way, Omoba. I'm not normally an insecure, needy woman but this visa process makes me do a 180 at times.

i'm in the same boat ladies! its hard having to be the only one to call.... he texts me but very rarely calls. its just too expensive for him. but i start to feel bad when its me, me, me all the time. i'm used to men calling ME, dammit! and half the time he doesn't answer because he's busy, or sleeping, or who knows what he's doing. its so hard. sometimes i feel like not calling because i feel he takes it for granted i've spent thousands of dollars since we've met, but i can't bring myself to play that game. sigh...

Yup. And be prepared. It takes awhile to bounce back. Blah. Snivel. Whine. Twitch.

I gotta hand it to you ladies...I could never deal with that. You're stronger than I am in this regard

luckily phone lines to morocco seem pretty good. i rarely have problems. but its more expensive to call there than other me/na places. i still wonder why!

The connection to Morocco sux, also. The connection to Egypt is hit or miss. Same with Yemen.

We used to laugh taking taxi rides through Alexandria watching all the people hanging out of windows, stepping out into the middle of streets, stretching and straining to find that sweet spot where they can get a decent signal...

reception in Cairo is fine as long as there's money in his phone.

oh no! i did it today!!!!!! i called him and he didn't answer (like half the time i call) but i usually call again an hour or so later. but today i didn't...not really on purpose, i fell asleep for a little nap... but i didn't set my alarm or anything to wake up to make sure to call him. first day we haven't spoken in ages!

Aww man ladies, I thought it was just me, why do the insecurities flare up??? At least it's not just me. And yes Jen, I am not used to doing the calling, although he'll text me on average every day and call twice a week. I have tried the whole, I'm pissed not gonna call.. and after about an hour I give in lolol.

so funny...im the same. i can't believe i didn't call back today after he didn't pick up the first time. *sigh
my boy doesn't call twice a week though. you're lucky!

Twice a week? How bout never? Is never good for you?



Quite honestly I told him never to call me. It costs him approx $2/minute or so to call and it sucks up all his phone $$ so 1 phone call means that I don't get my 5 or 6 texts per day. I'd rather get the texts and then talk for free at night via the net. When I do call him it's only about .21/minute so I just don't think it is fair of me to ask him to call, especially given the exchange rate. That's just me though.

I feel like I am in a constant commercial.....CAN YOU HEAR ME NOWWWWW ?
Can you imagine trying to be seductive on the phone with this hassle ?
Honestly sometimes I just have to decide if I want to cry or laugh.
We have no web cam and limited chatting. Thank God he has another job now because for 5 month we had just crappy phone connections with a handful of 15 min chats. It was rough to say the least.
Sometimes he picks up and says hello, hello and all I hear is silence, then there is the stupid 2 second delay and we both start talking at the same time until one yields.
He has electricity only for few hours at a time and when the battery is dead he must find a vendor to charge it.
I even had a vendor pick up my call and the guy was using his minutes and left the phone on while generator charging it, my fiance was mad and he chewed the vendor out!
Oh God please let this be over with soon !

About being used to being the one who receives calls instead of making them
all the time we have to keep it in perspective with the income differences.
Our honeys can make it up to us when they are here and earn a decent income.
I want my dinner and roses and calls then.....oh yes !

that's what abdou keeps reminding me of. all the things he'll reimburse me when he gets here! i can't wait to cash in with the romantic texts, phone calls, massages, etc he will owe me!

I have a running tab...mostly though it's not monetary.

hmmmmmmm yah. me too.

Ya'll have me feeling bad sometimes cause I'm not upset, insecure or needy, etc. during this wait. Am I the only one who takes it in stride?

maybe you are green i doubt any of us are upset, insecure or needy to that degree maybe impatient sometimes, all these women going thru this are alot stronger than they realize

we used to have the same problem with cell phones when he lived overseas. saudi arabia it was usually good but when he would be in syria forget it. i would call and call and call and it would ring but he wouldnt answer. then i would finally get thru and he said it never rang there.

now this last time he went he used his phone from hear and i got thru every time.

actually i hate cell phones anyway. i carry one for emergency only but most of the time its dead....yes i know that defeats the perpose. but since i dont use it ever and i dont use cordless phones at home either then i forget to charge it.

its a corded phone for me or nothing.

Yes

I will say that the insecurity and neediness does fade as the wait grows longer. Weird eh? I guess I just got fed up with feeling insecure about nothing. Now I can go days without speaking to Moh. If I call once and he doesn't answer then I wait until he calls me back. A few months ago I'd blow up his phone until he answered. What a dork.

I gave Moh my skype password and he called me from my account. Program thought it was a usa to usa call so fairly affordable. Ok, maybe not the most ethical thing in the world, but when you feel like half your soul's been eaten by this process and the separation, you kinda look the other way sometimes. He would call me and I would text or call his mobile. He sent text messages from his mobile or called from the internet cafe. Still didn't cure my stupid insecurities. I did so well all those long months, but the last 2 the wheels just came off. YUCK.

Ok...my fiance is from India not MENA and does have excellent reception. However it is quite expensive for him to call me. What we have done, when he wants to talk to me is he calls me, but hangs up before it goes into my voicemail (and I do not pick up). We call these "missed calls". I then call him back with my much lower rate and we get to talk. He gets free time as long as they are received and not dialed calls.

This works for us and I thought maybe it might work for some of you. Although I will admit many times he does not call enough....or respond to e-mails enough...... MEN!!

Lori

MENA ppl do the same with the missed calls My husband has the same thing with his mobile...free incoming.

Oh yes, we do the missed calls too, but usually not by choice. When I was in Cairo, I left my cell phone with my mom so my family could call while I was away with my lower rate (ha) and whenever I tried to call her from his phone, it would ring maybe once on my end, but on my phone it was like an automatic missed call. So annoying, I can't even pick it up, I always have to call back.

He gets my texts too and tried to send back, but I never get them. Usually my texts are just "are you awake", and if he is, he'll send me a missed call. lol

I am fairly sure I am the worst for that He is really good and almost never makes any jokes about it, although togday he called me after his medical test and told me the doctor was really nice and SHE took his address and wants to come visit him. After he could tell I was good and mad he told me "but she's too old, shaytana, she's maybe 60 or 65?" Like somehow that means she's sooo near to death she's not interested in anything. Really! Men! ARRRGGHHHH!