Well I'm not currently engaged or married, but I'm looking to move to upstate NY to be with my girlfriend, and after looking around here, I'm wondering if I have any chance of actually doing this without being at least engaged.
We have discussed it, and marriage is an option if it means we could be together.
Basically looking for any advice you guys can offer and any problems I'm likely to run into (I have all the usual phone records/chat logs/plane tickets from visiting her if we do decide to get engaged).
Any help is greatly appreciated~

You definitely can't go through a family-based immigration process if she's the family and you aren't engaged. You could try to go a student or employment route. If you guys are willing to get married, get a K1. Getting engaged isn't some kind magical thing you have to do on top of the Eiffel Tower or something, you just have to decide you will get married. Lots of people on here have rushed into the legal contract of marriage because it's neccessary for immigration.

You say the main reason you want to move is to with your girlfriend, and that really only leaves the fiancee/marriage option.

The best option is, in your case, probably going to be the K-1 visa however you must make sure you are both comfortable and ready to commit this far. Its a pcoess that can take anywhere from 4 months to over a year (all depending on visa service centers (although if filing from NY you will have Vermont which is usually quicker) and the country of the beneficiary (Although I guess UK in your case being in this forum ).

There are tons of resources and knowledge on this site, plenty of step by step guides I recommend reading to make sure this is the right step forward. Just check out the quide section and have a read of the K-1 process and checklist. It sounds like you are already collecting evidence, which is a good thing so, so far no real problems. Make sure you have enough evidence of support (money basically, check out the guides on this site for more) or co-support and make sure you have things like divorce papers if applicable etc

Good luck!

Unfortunately there are no dating visas out there. I was hoping for one myself.

If you can't come over on a student or employment based visa, just visit each other as often as you can until you decide if you really want to marry and where you really want to live.

Make use of the VWP and go there for 3 mos first.

I agree with Lisa on this! Take advantage of spending the 90 days together to make sure this is the right thing for both of you. My fiance and I have had to 90 day visits and it has proved to us that getting married is what we really want to do! Now we just can't wait to file our application!!!

Weren't we all?

Yep!

orrrr...she could go to him for 6mos...would give them more time, but the problem would be if they are looking to settle in US, the 6 mos off would obviously cause a disruption in jobs/living arrangements/etc.

It is hard to get resettled and have a fiance who is looking to come to you and rebuild his/her life as well.

Yup. The VWP is a great way to make sure your SO will like life in the US, cos it is very different from the UK. The food has been the biggest hurdle for my guy! Misses his meat pies a lot!!!! Plus it gives you the opportunity to get to know eachother in a way close to how your married life will be. Cos as much as you love the other person, there will still be some growing pains. Its better to find out now that you can tolerate those "little" habits than after you invested all the time and money in the K1 process.

Sorry there's no magical easy way to be together without strings attached! Wouldn't that be grand!

Good luck

What are your quals?

oops, double post

I do agree with the advice about the VWP. Take advantage and then decide if its the right thing to do!

I'll repost my question--what are your quals?

(as I noticed no-one thought about temp work visa)

Good advice !

I agree-use the VWP to check things out. Living together day in/day out is WAY different than international dating. If it works out, go for it !

Best Wishes !

Becca mentioned student/work visas....that might be a good way to go....but I would assume it wouldn't be as easy as the VWP.

Perhaps the OP can come on a vwp, then find someone to sponsor him thru either student or work...not sure about the logistics of either, and I'm sure it would require a trip home, but finding an employer to sponsor you wouldn't be so easy doing over the phone from GB anyways.

Correct (as there is somewhat more of a process), but may be worth it as it removes the 90-day and 1-refusal headaches of VWP


Not sure about VWP->work; however, it is possible to do student->work without returning home.

Unfortunately I don't really have any qualifications past GCSE, since I've been focusing on work since I left school, but I have completed the Foundation level of the AAT accountancy qualification, and may return to finish the rest of it at some point.

Thanks for the advice guys, I'll probably try the 3 month stay, and see how we get along over a longterm basis, one week holidays aren't exactly the best guage of how a couple would get on if they lived together.
I'm actually looking at getting a gaming licence in the UK, and applying for a casino job in a town near hers. Since I think that might be my best shot at getting a job placement.