Hi Everyone,

Good luck on your immigration journeys. Anyways, I was wondering....

"What opportunites and/or things did you have to sacrifice/have to give up when you immigrated to the USA?"

Was it worth the sacrifice? If you could, would you try and obtain the same again?

Feel free to add your comments, thoughts, and ideas, on this message topic thread...

Ant

Many Americans make the erroneous assumption that those that immigrate to the United States do so because they are from worse-off countries. I came from Australia. A modern democracy, more free than the United States. Safe, with socialised healthcare and a social security system such that the poor are not forgotten. Only 14 per cent of Americans have passports, thus many of them are ignorant of other cultures/countries.

I thought it was worth the sacrifice. My error was that I didn't really understand my partner until it was too late.

Would I try it again? Sure - if I met the right person. A weakness for women with American accents is also a contributing factor. Another factor is that I've lived there and I understand much more about the place than I did before.

Final thought. You better make sure that you're marrying the right person, as one may be used and controlled by the American spouse who is holding all the cards.

I will be returning to America. On my terms. Dependent upon myself.

Haha. Sacrifice.

I gave up nearly everything I had when I moved here to be with my husband.

My family. My friends. My budding career.

Granted, visiting Toronto is a 5 hrs' plane ride away (plus hundreds of dollars).

It is worth it though, otherwise I wouldn't even be here.

Jason and I spent a year after our engagement agonizing over the what ifs before deciding on the K1 route. This whole immigration thing was not done on the spur of the moment. Spent many nights crying for what I had to leave behind, marvelling at the disintegration of my well laid-out life plans that I'd created in my mind before meeting Jason, ...

We're going to be working hard at making our relationship work. No way I'm re-starting my life all over again.

Agreed. If it wasn't for my husband, I WOULD NOT MOVE HERE. I love my adopted country, Canada. My family is there. My friends are there. I had a career going for me. I have to smile inwardly when people think I want to move to the States because of the great opportunities.

Left a career I loved in the Air Force. Yep was worth it.

My husband gave up a house he had rented for over 30 years and because of that long term rental agreement, he could have purchased it for less than $30000 US Dollars.

He also gave us socialized medicine.

I gave up my career, seeing my friends, family activities, socialized health care, my hobbies that were geographically based, personal and financial independence, 'my home and native land', and a life that I had spent 48 years developing; (I also gave up snow, cold winters, long, dark, cold nights VBG) . . was it worth it? Well, yes, but it wouldn't be if it weren't for my husband. It was the more practical reality for me to move here, but if it had been more practical for him to move to Canada, then we would have done that. I love it here in Georgia, but much of that is because of things that are specific to Georgia, and not necessarily because it is the US.

Woohoo!!

(Sorry... couldn't resist. Damn, I am going to miss the NHS and my freeee prescriptions when I get there. I wish your husband had brought socialized medicine with him.)

Hi Everyone,

Good luck on your immigration journeys. Thanks for all your replies. From the looks of it, all of you seem to have sacrificed something important when you immigrated. Nevertheless, none of you seem to overall regret that they immigrated here to the USA, which is a good thing.

In answer to my message thread, here are the things that I had to sacrifice/give up when I immigrated to the USA:
The good things...
1) My cat, which sad to say I had to leave behind in Canada (I still miss her)
2) My formal educational pursuits in Canada
3) Free healthcare in Canada
The bad things...
1) An ex-family that disowned me
2) Living in the city (yes, I do enjoy living in the countryside a lot better)

However, in return for my sacrifices, I got the following in the USA:
1) A supportive, caring, and loving husband (the most important of all, of course)
2) My "real family" that actually cares about me
3) Informal learning through meeting new people, volunteering, and travelling
4) Settling down and finally establishing a place that is "home" to me
5) A new life. Starting over, with a more positive attitude and outlook towards life

So do I have any regrets about moving to the USA? Absolutely not! It was definately worth the sacrifices! I love living here in the USA! Hey, who knew in my case that a two week vacation would end up being a lifetime in the USA? I would definately never return to my old life in Canada again!....

Ant

Oops. I hate when I do that.

I dont have any regrets, but if soemthing werer to happen (divorce death) I would be out of here the next day and back to Canada.

This is such a great post! I am the USC and am so aware of the things my fiance is giving up to move here ..... a great job where they love him and don't mind him taking off months at a time to visit me, they give him work as soon as he returns, of course the Canadian healthcare (it is going to cost me over $400 per month to add my fiance to my insurance, we are looking at other options), friends, family (he is very close to his family and especially will miss his niece and nephews; he is accustomed to seeing them at least once a month in the winter and nearly every weekend in the summer).

I am so thankful that he is willing to move here to be with me. I have a contract to work at my place of employment for 2 years, so right now, there was no way I could move to Canada.

Oh yeah, and he is giving up Old Dutch ketchup chips, donairs, good Canadian beer and wine gums!

I gave up my career before it truly started. I had gotten formal police training so I could re-enter the CAF as an MP. I'm giving up my family. I will be giving up most of what I scrimped and saved for over the years. The girls are leaving friends behind. I'm leaving friends behind. We're leaving free healthcare behind.

I can't say that I would do this for anyone but Ron. And if anything were to ever happen, we would return home in a heartbeat. But, with that said, new goals and dreams have been formed, and what we are giving up pales in comparison to being able to be a family.

I've only been here a month but I'm really missing my friends already. I'm also missing my lovely house so much. I've owned it for 12 years and slowly refurbished and decorated it to exactly what I wanted

New kitchen put in a year ago with a big American fridge - and a Tennant now is living in my lovely house in London!

Me -I'm here in the USA, in rented accommodation - with the smallest fridge possible!

Renting is very depressing - however would I give him up and go back to all those home comforts. No chance!

Also there is no such thing as free health care not only did I pay more tax in the UK than here - even in California!!! - But the National Insurance (Which pays for the the National Health Service in the UK.) that I paid every month was a massive amount and if you were to take the amount I paid each month to that compared to how much a Health care policy here costs I think I would find that it would cost me less to pay for the Health insurance here. I also had BUPA in the UK which meant I was taxed for having that and still paid my NI payment towards the NHS which I never used.

Here I'm on my husbands policy so it doesn't cost me anything.

So no such thing as free health care in the UK unless you were unemployed and didn't pay NI.

This thread is about sacrifices you gave to move here (US).

Just to give equal time ... what did your SO (USC) sacrifice to bring you here (US)

I believe this type of relationship … our type … is a two-way street.

this usc gave up lots of money thanks to the uscis requirements

Well, he's not here yet, but the only thing I can imagine that I'll be giving up is closet space, and half (maybe less than half) the drawers in the dresser.

What else am I giving up? Lonely nights in bed alone. Valentine's Day alone. Holidays alone. Lonely evenings on the couch watching tv alone... Yeah, I think I'm ready to give it AALLLLLL up!!

AMEN brother!!!! But it is all worth it

My husband sacrificed a lot of his time, money, and personal space... and he had to lend an open ear to all my worries over this long K1 and adjusting-to-a-new-environment process

I think this last part is the most important (since if we'd been in a "regular" relationahip -- ie, no one needs to move to a new country -- he would've had to sacrifice some money, time, and personal space anyway).

Same with many posters here, if it wasn't for LOVE, I WOULD NOT MOVE HERE.

I'm from Hong Kong and it's the most wonderful place I've ever been. I grew up there, my friends are there, my family are there, my everything is there. If it wasn't for my husband I would not have gave up everything to move here. I've always thought that IF anything happened to my husband one day I will definitely move back there.

I sacrificed one way of life for another. With no beaches in the U.S. midwest, I had to have new coping mechanisms. I'm no beach-bum anyway, so I dealt with it rather well.

There were positives and negatives. Without the rights of a citizen, the right to work, the freedom to do what I wanted - these are huge sacrifices. I know many here have dealt with the paranoia of Americans i.e., "He/she married her/him for the greencard." For this reason, many that move to the U.S. do feel isolated. I've returned to Australia, and I can say that I'm a lot happier. No longer do I have to deal with the paranoid relatives of my spouse, or friends requesting FBI background checks, the lies, or having my every move closely scrutinised and reported back to my spouse by a group of arrogant, simple, unsophisticates.

Hi Everyone,

Good luck on your immigration journeys! My, how fast this message thread has grown, indeed!

In reversal of the original post, my answer to the "What did the USC (my husband) have to sacrifice with me being here in the USA?" is:

Each side has to give and recieve in return, whether it is in big things (for example major life changes) or in little things (for example in day to day living). For in any relationships (especially marriage), it is a two-way compromising street, that needs to be worked on every day in order for it to last forever.

"Yes honey, for all your lifetime investment in time, money, and many other things in our relationship, you get....a loving, caring, and supporting wife, who will always be there for you no matter what (which is, in the end, priceless).", I say to my husband, which he totally agrees with this statement.

Ant

I can;t really speak for Veronica..But I can guess on somethings..
She gives up:
Friends.. and family being close
Her students she teaches english to..
In her smal town She is known as being a good teacher..
and I'm sure there is more...

What I give up..
Mainly nothing... I gave up months being alone..so that I can spend a lifetime with her...
Money... I'm sure dating would of cost me as much.. in one way or another..for the two years we talked..

What we both gain...

No more lonely nights..
No more watching TV alone...
No more shopping alone..
Eating alone...
sleeping alone..
Making decisions alone..
Finally being with the right person...that makes each others life complete..

Whats it all worth... It's Priceless..

So I guess the bottom line is this... What we gave up..isnt really the question that matters...It's what we gained..that will stay with us forever..

Mi fiancé will be giving up:
His family being close and friends
A really nice job
Money
A nice house
The things he's use to have @ the Netherlands
And I am sure a lot more....

But he's pretty excited to move here because he likes new things, cultures and learning. He's up for the change

What I am giving up?
Half closet
Half bed
Boredom

We are gaining more than what we are giving up so, I'm pretty happy about that!

I gave up more or less everything that I love and everything that I worked for. My family, my friends, my city, my career. I miss being just myself, here I am J's wife.

But then I gained a loving husband so I'll do it again

That is one reason I chose to keep my own name rather than take my husbands - it was one more thing I would be giving up and it felt so much like loosing my identity. I didn't want that to happen. I was well-known and well-respected - and generally well-liked- in my community; I have professional works published and my opinion was sought in my areas of expertise. Here, I am an unknown - but at least I am still me.

Exactly my thoughts...except i would be back to Spain

No matter what we left behind, if we are all here it is because it was worth it. It is hard, but so was being apart, i guess none of us made this choice blindly.

But yeah, it pisses me off when people think this is the land of opportunities and the rest of countries are inferior, the US as any other country has a lot of both good and bad things, for me, the best one and reason why i am here: my husband

I gave up everything for my husband, my family, my niece and nephew, friends, habits, the best food in the world the "italian"one (here I'm sick of eating not proper food), and if it wasn't for my husband I wouldn't ever have left my country, NO WAY!!!! US long time ago was probably a country with good opportunity in any field, now it is sucks, and I cant stand anymore this "irritating" burocracy. Since I've been here I've constatly the feeling that I've been controlled by any kind of their rules or laws, documents that we have to filled out either for immigration, for taxes, for looking for a job and so on........I've been here for 5 months, and unfortunately to me it will take long time to forget my previous life, although I love my husband and I know he's my soulmate. Not to mention about the health care here in US, it is terrible!!!! Here if you are not covered forget it, that's what US should learn from Europe and Canada, a better health care for everybody!!!!!

That pretty much sums it up IMHO. Well said.

Jen

Hm, that's an interesting thread. First of all, I must say I would have never left my country if it weren't for my husband, because I had a wonderful life there. Everything was set: friends, family, career, apartment, insurances, hobbies. The good thing I got in the US apart from my hubbie is our cat, but that is it so far.
Luckily I could convince my husband to move to San Francisco where his family lives and most important where are job opportunities for both of us. He had that idea that he wanted to be far away from his family, not thinking of what it meant to me (I left my family in Europe, so at least his should be there). So we moved to a city where we had no relatives and no friends, following his dream. Now he sees that this was a mistake and that gives me a big sigh because things will be better as soon as we move.
Where we live now we have no social life, bad earnings, I have to work in a clothing store because they have no jobs here for college graduates, no going out because of the bad salaries, etc etc.
I know that things will improve tremendously in CA: friends, family, a good job, an international community, only flight tickets to Europe will be more expensive

I strongly advise the following:

- Stay if possible close to the family of your USC spouse, they give you emotional support, warmth and have a great social network to get a job
- If you have a college education: stay close to the tri-state-area, bay area and other major metro areas if you don't want to work at Walmart
- The USC doesn't really know what you give up - he/she can just imagine. Talk a lot and explain things to each other, just because you left your country doesn't mean you can still move within the US or even back to your country (we consider this in case that things go wrong in CA).

I'm a little bit glad that other people feel the same way as I do - the US is nice, but it is not the Golden Country. I think esp people from Canada, Australia, Europe and probably Japan have the same experience. I would move again to the US, but with my experience now, I would move directly to my hubbie's family.

I couldn't have said it better!



Well said! Almost brought tears to my eyes!

Well now.. Interesting thread... I know that my US Hubby has said over and over again to me "my intention is to make what you are coming to better than what you are leaving behind". I know that he means that with all his heart.

I know most of what I gave up I would give up again. As we were leaving Canada, I was thinking about some of those things (my family, my friends, my car, my work), and it came to me:

I could have all this (fill in the blanks here - friends, family, car, work), or I could have love, true love that will last years and years. I won't grow old alone, I won't have to make big scary decisions alone, I won't have to eat alone, I won't have to be "excluded" from "couples things" ever again. Yeah.. sorry.. I'd do it again in a heart beat. No questions asked.

I moved to northern VA / DC area from Sydney, Australia.

I gave up seeing my close friends, some other friends and some of my close family (altho I have to say I'd already moved to the UK for 18 months before I moved here, and we didn't live together in the UK) The other notable things were all the social, political and cultural differences. Some things were better there, some are better here. The weather and natural scenery are two big things I miss. Also I don't like the crazy traffic / car / workaholic culture here, the food isn't that great, and this is an expensive part of the USA as well. I'm also working in the first permanent full time job I've had in 4 years complete with 10 days vacation leave per year (previously I contracted and made more $ and took more holidays). Health care (and maybe credit history) was the only pro to working full-time.

But I gained the benefit of living with my wife in a new life of our own. (I also gain in-laws altho that is a mixed bag ). Other things include access to a cheaper and much larger consumer market for just any goods (save Tim Tams, etc.), greater proximity to travel to some places I've never been (e.g. eastern coast of America, parts of Europe, the Caribbean, etc) and a much greater ability to see bands tour and new cinema releases. And better cable TV for your $. In short, being in the USA = hedonistic pleasures.

Not there yet but...

- friends
- job (pays well, but I don't care for it)
- familiarity of my surroundings
- convenience of being able to get everything I need with 15 minutes walk from my home
- independence (I don't drive and public transportation sucks there so I'll have to rely on him to take me places. I've never had to rely on people before.)
- government health care

Is it worth it? It'd better be!

I find it hard that most of my American friends think I must be so much better off having moved to the US... I can not get them to understand that other than being alone my life was better in the UK... I was paid more, had more vacation time, paid sick days, cheaper housing, Free health care, good benefits if I was long term sick or unemployed, more free time, my family and friends I have known all my life.. and the feeling of being safe in my little world...

Dont get me wrong I like it here and it is now my home but did I gain or lose by moving to the US? America is not as great as the Americans think...

Kez

It's funny you mention that because even with the exchange rate, I'll never get a job in the U.S. that pays me as much money as I make now (along with 20 days paid vacation a year and unlimited sick days).

" Only 14 per cent of Americans have passports, thus many of them are ignorant of other cultures/countries. "

Many Americans are ignorant regardless if they have passports or not , and not just Americans either.


My wife came from a very poor area. And if I croaked tomorrow. She would be on the next plane out cause she had all her friends and family their. Not only that, she said if she dies first that she wishes me to take her body back to her hometown. Something I hope I never have to deal with - but thats another thread.

I didn't really give up too much, just family and some friends.

Although I miss them, I have always been a loner and didn't see them often and I am in contact with them.

I miss things about the uk, but I'm glad for all the things I do get in America. That having said, I miss so much of the stuff I had in the UK.

I do certainly miss "free" healthcare. I know its not totally free but when you have no money and aren't allowed public help, it makes you miss the NHS

You know, I was just talking to my husband about this tonight. I am the USC ... I was reading job ads in the paper and what they typically pay for his type of work ... MUCH less than what he was paid back in Vancouver and with no healthcare benefits. Granted, we live in a rural area and cost of living is lower, but he was shocked at the salaries.

I think my husband choked on his coffee when I first told him how much money I made here...

I liked what somebody on this thread said about people thinking that people immigrate to "escape" their country which may be poorer. Hmm...I'm sure some do that, but you can't generalize only because some do it

I would have done it regardless where I would have had to move. I could have had difficulty moving to Russia...cuz we sorta just 15 years ago got our independence...but I would even consider doing that.

So, sacrifice...

Family and friends..that's the biggy.
Makes me teary-eyed to think my Mom-Dad won't be able to see their grandkids ...just anytime they want to...to pop in and have fun with them. But then again....they may come here for longer periods in the future. We'll see. I can't wait to have them over and spoil them here

BUT I AM coming into an absolutely ADORABLE family over here. They receive me as their own daughter...soo grateful.

Friends. Ouch. People and life really is...um... different where I come from. They say Estonians are reserved and not very affectionate (which comes from the former communist government and the way we were raised due to that, but is changing now), but I tell you, if you've managed to make an Estonian your friend - you've made a friend for life. I have a very close circle of friends ..and it's not small...and not being able to see them IS tremendous sacrifice. Also, in my country, you can feel free to be very spontaneous with your friends...pop over any time...stay over until 2 am in the morning.... yep, even with marrieds'! If they really are your close friends, people really enjoy that Pace of life is so different here. Which is fine...just need to get used to it

I feel like in the US generally people very polite and nice...but find it difficult to make close friends with people...relationships seem shallow. Most of it is due to pace of life I think.

Okay...following are not really "sacrifices"..lol...but this is what's different in my country:

- 4 weeks of paid vacation..heheh.yep.
- you get PAID to have kids from federal and local government: for a year after your baby is born you get paid your average salary AND your employer MUST keep your job for you for 3 stinkin' years and you get to be stay-at-home-mom for 3 years

That's all that really comes to mind.

But honestly...nothing seems like sacrifice when I am in my baby's arms I'm truly blessed

You GOT THAT RIGHT!

Personally I gave up on all that and ALOT more,......and yanno what?.......................
Its the best thing I ever did!