Why does it smell/what does it smell of?

That's cool! Just remember this post when she calls you out as a whore because you didn't get married the way she deems necessary.

That is the million dollar question. Actually a few years back there was actually a reward posted for anyone who could figure it out. It smells like cr@p...literally!!! Some say it's the algae in that end of the water and some say it's the way the sewarage system works from a part of another town across the way. All I know is when I drive by it, sometimes even in the dead of winter, it stinks worse than a poopy diaper!

Eeewww ok, don't take him there for the romantic walk then

Again getting off the subject here again, but if (anyone) tells you, you are not living your life right, are you or anyone going to start that minute to change to what they say. NO each live to their standards and customs to what they believe best for them.

Now back, has anyone had the experience yet of explaining how to mow the yard or do the outside stuff?

I live in an apt. No mowing, yard work or snow shoveling for us! Yay! Home ownership is soooo overrated.

Yes when it comes to repairs, i mentioned the house needs a few things done, painting, etc think he didnt have a clue that WE could actually do this stuff, and running of the lawnmower and weedeater are going to be interesting. Even to washing the car, when i was there he had to take it to someone, just things they are not used to doing daily.

That's cool! Just remember this post when she calls you out as a whore because you didn't get married the way she deems necessary.

I haven't called anyone a whore, but I have seen others call themselves and their friends whores.

Doodle, when the other women here attacked you for your hijab, I pmed you to offer you comfort. You could have taken that opportunity to tell me how bad you thought I was for my views then, but you didn't. You accepted my alms. None of the complainers has EVER tried to discuss this with me in private. You actually INSIST that all debate be public.

Part of the viciousness that keeps popping up here is a clear attempt on the part of some to lie to commit character assassination against me. Those of you who have or had paper marriages can feel however you want about it. You are the ones who believe yourself to know more about what Islam requires than those scholars who decided the rules for where you married. If you choose to feel bad because of what I say, then you obviously have lingering doubts about what you did or about the kind of man you will marry or married. Otherwise, this would not be such an issue for so long and would not require so many lies against me.


That the insults and lies keep coming from one "side" says more about you than it does about me. I am at peace.

Ahmed and i both wear our weding rings, have since the engagement party, WE feel like we're married, we live as we are (even apart) if anyone doesnt like it so what, thats what we choose and when the time comes we will probably go to Vegas. No ones business but ours.

Let's see. I'm neither muslim nor any other religion, but I don't consider talking about dildos and vibrators light hearted. In fact, I find it pretty gross. TMI I believe is the current colloquialism.

You also don't come here claiming to be a practicing Muslim, sis. No hypocrisy there.

One ritual we're going to do is buy new wedding rings when he comes, insha'allah.

Not to mention, if one wanted to come here to talk about making cookies and leanring about halal ingredients, it seems difficult to avoid the sex talk. So your suggestion that we should go elsewhere if we're uptight really doesn't solve the problem (not to mention it's quite judgemental to say so).

Again, you are being judgemental at the same time calling others rude. Don't post on an open forum if you don't expect comments on your posts.

When I, a single person, object to something said on a thread, I'm told by mutlitudes that I'm out of line. There's been two days of this (relentless) whining, and none of you whiners think what you're doing is out of line. It's you huys that keep the argument going after others have expressed an interst in ending it, but nooooo, you can't see that. The double standard would be amusing if it weren't so pathetic.

The gift cards and a little spending $$$ can be an awkward moment. I've experienced doing this for my wife and good communication and the presentation were crucial. She also has her pride, as do I, and I'm sure everyone else does. There are things to consider:

it's no longer about just you or just me. at this moment it's about us ... we are now a couple working together and helping each other. We help each other always. the tides will turn and some day he will help you on this or another topic … then you will help him, etc … etc.

by doing this a potentially embarrassing moment is avoided. situations such as: honey I want to buy (maybe groceries)/ do something but I can't afford. can I have some $$ or can you pay for this?
(I'm thinking about their immediately available funds or ability to use their credit card in the US)

the gift cards/ $$$ can be used for anything. groceries, you, me, ... us

your SO also gains a little more immediate independence.

Alternatively, there is always the envelope in a drawer or placed under a magnate on the refrigerator that is our "slush fund". let him know it is available for his use for whatever reason.

One more thought. Don’t be concerned about giving him time alone at home. He may need a few hours of “down time” in the first few days. It will also show you trust him and that you are comfortable leaving him alone in what was your “personal territory”.

btw: You know your SO and will work with him to make the correct decisions. my comments are just that ... comments and thoughts.

Green you know what im getting at, im supposed to get new rings also, but who knows. These are to big and cant be sized without damaging. I dont profess to be anything ha maybe gross and abnormal i dont even like baking the cookies ha now back to the satin sheets

Making jokes about sex toys isn't discussing one's sex life. No one described how and when they use these items. Nor has anyone been descriptive of their personal sex lives.

If you're a fan, you should know judging is her god-given responsibility, so you need to work that out.

No wonder you are so nasty. You think a frickin' PM is ALMS?!?! I suppose this is why you can use such insulting language about others and then use such hyberbolic language about yourself. Character assassination means someone is doing it to you. Try Character Suicide.

Right on!

Those of you who have your men with you can be such wet rags sometimes!

I can't be descriptive of my personal sex life because I currently don't have one

There, there, moody! I know how you feel!

Join the club

are we allowed to say SEX?

I no one elsehas gotten this trick down for a MENA man who has money pride.. you can do everything Matty Bumpo has suggested and then there is one more trick.. I use this when I go and visit him.

I ask him to"hold" my money. At first, he was extremely unwilling to hold my money. Eventually, he understood I was giving it to him, but not really. I also explained about how I had "no idea" about costs and such, could he help me manage my money? And he suddenly felt it was a good job for a husband!

It's untrue, I have every idea in the world about costs LOL but we had to go through an initial pride thing. Now since he trusts me completely, he understands that I am not undermining him! You have to get past this cultural issue but generally those who are Arab or Arabic cultured will settle down and do things jointly or even ignore the fact you are making more just like any general American Gernerally, anyway. One important thing is he needs to know you aren't going to run back to everyone you all know (especially his family!) and tell them how you paid for this and that, you have x ammount of money, you make more money, etc.

If your SO has bought his/her plane ticket, then you can use that as leverage too! Like well, I thought since you bought your ticket, the least I could do was toss in a few bus passes, gift cards, etc. I know it's small, but please accept it! (ignore the whole, i'm supporting you for like EVER and you're in my place! LOL!)

I also completely agree with the space thing! As soon as my Dh got his interview time set (the first one in June not this April one) I started to clean my closet! part of this was because I couldn't even open my door and it's a walk-in, but also I wanted to make space for him. I hate dressers, so I moved mine out from the closet and into a back bedroom (i'm using it for linens at the moment). I bought those canvas storage bins from Bed Bath adn Beyond and labeled some things like "Habibi's socks" etc., and have 2 for him and 4 for me. I gave him the top tier of the double rack side because he's tall. I haven't worked out the shoe thing yet! But we're getting there! He was adament that our stuff be in the same closet and perhaps even touching at all times, so I kinda had to work around that.

I did the same, when i got there he had so much of his own money available, and i had so much. I just gave it to him to have, carry, whatever i had no idea of the prices it worked. THen when it came time to leave, we changed it back, and i got what was left to come home on.

We can use the code word "xes".

Im trying to clense my mind but every time i think of those sheets and low lights xes or is that yes? sorry ill be good

I also have my husband "hold" our money. He knows I know the conversions and all, but, since a Muslim woman is entitled to keep her money and do as she pleases with it, I had to convince him that I consider it to be OUR money. He's cool with it now.

Do this a lot. Men like that.

"I ask him to"hold" my money."
I'd forgotten about doing this too. I've visited and done this so many times, it's second nature.

It may be a cultural issue and a personal (pride) issue. I don't think anybody likes to feel they are totally dependant on someone. I'm not Arabic and know if it was me, it would difficult for me to accept and adjust, but I would under the same circumstances. I think this is a universal feeling that crosses cultural and gender (or should I say SEX) boundaries. (couldn't resist using that word )

One important thing is he needs to know you aren't going to run back to everyone you all know (especially his family!) and tell them how you paid for this and that, you have x ammount of money, you make more money, etc.

This is about respect and truly caring about you SO. I feel you will adjust very well.

to a point ... only to a point.

THe word is now xes tell yourself (resist, resist) the eyes well maybe but how about the running of fingers thru their hair and back of the necks (im whispering) especially when driving

I added it to be funny. When I do it to my husband, he asks me what's going on with my eyes. He doesn't see what's so romantic about staring at him adoringly. Some men might . . .

I am the wrong tree to run up. I am strong in faith and character and i will tell you this if people go and post there personal busy then get over it you will hear things you do not like. I remember my time when I was denied and everyone went after me. You know what I did, I ignored those people. What is there to say. Something else I read this whole trend all day because it was funny. Why would you bring up something from an old trend? What was the purpose to attack her. I personally feel like this was being done and I understand exactly where she is coming from. I do not come on here and tell people that I lived with my boyfriend etc, knowing I am muslim. And that I will be called on it. You have some people ask questions and when you ask a question be prepared for the answers. I am not a saint and will never claim but it is Hadith that you do not air out your sins and your relationship with god is yours. Green-eyed girl from my understand has a Masters in Islamic Studies. If she is sharing then find. I know a few muslims that eat pork (things that have it in it) and they think it is ok or too hard to find stuff without it. But they pray and do other things. One act does not make you a muslim. Wearing a scarf, praying in front of people for praise, but it is in your heart. I do not know yours nor hers. If anybody gives a comment you go and look it up. Figure out if it applies and if it does not then forget it. I personal listen and research. This is the best and is encourage. If Green-eyed girl wants to fight then find I can go with the best of them. But I like to fight, I know this, and if I know about something I am going to bring. Green-eyed girl can not tell me about aviation or the miltiary life. But there are a few here who can.

Fornication is a big deal in the muslim life as well as drinking not praying etc. It is one of the worst things you do and it leads to self-destructive behavior, along with destroying the muslim community. Now those that are not muslim and have muslim husband- "Boyfriends" then find do what you want. But do not think you will get a cookie. I try not to judge people but that is where groups come in. I am in the military and when I go to the Mosque alot of people do not want to talk me but there are a few girls on base that muslim and we hang out. They do not wear hijib and some do. I am closer to the ones that wear hijib. That is all, if you do somethings or others do that does not make them better muslims etc. I love being muslim, this is the coolest deen every and I still have issues etc. This is not just a muslim but a lot of other folks do it too. It is hard to really address what you are saying becauase I am not sure of your history on this board. But whatever, do doodlgebug and let green eyed girl do her thang. I do not care becuase me I will do mine. period. Nothing you wil lsay will stop it. people attacked me and I let it go. We are all on this board for once reason and one reson only. WE ARE MARRIED AND ENGAGED AND TRYING TO GET OUR SO's HERE OR HELP OTHERS GET THEIR SO. That is it.

You're okay ... no worries. The humor was definitely visible. Given the topic, it was even funny taken another way

Sorry if I sound dumb- why is that?

Private, hon, I think they're gone now. Let's let's let it drop. Ok? Have fun!

omg ... I'm so embarrassed

note to self:
remove page containing obsolete “word” from dictionary ... add new entry under "X" ... remember for next game of scrabble (minimum 10 points) can also be used in conjunction with other words

I gives us another x word and that is important

x words as in xtra xes wow xtint xercise how many points for that, better get back to what to do on the first nights. Maggie needs few suggestions, her guy is very close.

Where is Maggie? I want to know what she's already done.

Right, this topic was not about sex, it was implied in a cute way but let me tell you why it blew it. Not too long ago there was a 20 page thread full of fighting over the whole "sex toy" thing. So if you go back to the beginning pages of this thread you will clearly see that Green-Eyed took it in that direction again and kept going and going with it. She was clearly trying to provoke another fight and she got what she wanted. This whole song and dance she is giving about being a victim is the biggest load of BS I have ever seen, the long time members of this board know she is not a target. She brings this on herself and lately has done quite a good job in dividing the board into an "us against them" routine which is beyond stupid. For someone who claims to hate high school games so much, she sure does play them alot!

His own set of house, mailbox, car keys on a keyring?

What about the famous "honey do" jar? With a few "suggestions" already inside (his & hers).

It sounds like Brnidokiegurl is preparing a "honey do" jar. She's trying to figure out how to teach her man about lawn care already and he's not even here yet!

right on im tired of mowing, ha we were sitting at a coffee shop one moring and a guy was mowing, i could tell he had never done that before. Also im not a big fan of this going back 3 weeks at 9 in the evening pulling out old threads to prove a point, nor all the quotes. Its very childish to keep rehashing over and over. Take what is new for today, discuss it and go on life is to short and times are to trying for all this. One just got their ok from Calif there are a few of us right there close, its getting a little exciting now

They don't like the fight thread. They wanna keep fighting here instead. Please report these interruptions. They wouldn't hesitate to report you.

Im not going to argue with anyone, i do have the right to be silent just not the ability, but will try, now give me and others some more suggestions!!!!

I have some good to rev him up before he gets here. Some can be used after he's here too:

Gifts to send:

1. A gift certificate to their favorite store.

2. A phone card to talk to you with.

3. A list of 101 reasons why you love your partner.

4. Why send just one letter? Send a card every day for a week.

5. Send an original love poem.

6. Write your love story. Print it out on paper with a graphical background such as clouds.

7. If your love has a computer, create a series of love graphics and send him the disk for them.

8. Have a friend take pictures of you in silly or romantic poses. Glue captions to your favorites and send your love the finished product!

9. Press a dozen roses onto index cards. With each rose include a reason why you love your partner or a love quote.

10. Give your partner a list of reasons why you are glad they were born.

11. Send copies of articles that would interest your partner.

12. Send them a copy of their astrological chart.

13. Give them love coupons.

14. Every week send them one essay on something about you.

15. Send them a "ransom-style" love letter.

When you send your gift, take extra care in decorating it so your partner will have something to look forward to when they see it. Spray your perfume or cologne on the envelope. Decorate it with stickers or cute drawings. Use your imagination!

I know you are not trying to talk about anybody. What day was that again.............

Boy I miss everything these days.