So here it is, technically Sunday morning, and I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about Rida and missing him. Thinking what it will be like when he finally gets here. Trying to figure out some way to go visit. So many thoughts that just won't stop. Did, or do, any of you go through this too? I have so many sleepless nights over this and it is driving me crazy! Any suggestions? Already tried antihistamines...but they aren't helping.



Mona

I'm thinking about it more and more as time for the interview part of the process grows closer. I've made a lot of changes already to prepare for living with a husband again, but they are exciting changes. What you have to do is ask God for strength and let it go. We've been together for nearly 6 years and our second marriage anniversary is in two weeks, so it's been a long haul. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, is what I remind myself. I'm only thinking of good times! I only get down if he gets down, and I'm doing what I can to avoid that happening. If you'd like some tips on long distance relationships, pm me, and I'd be happy to point you to some.

Take care and chin up!

Hi patiently waiting,

yes yes yes.....i haven't had a good night's sleep in a week (since i got back from jordan) and before that since september my first visit to Jordan. I miss my fiance so much and the first few days back from being with him is always hard.

My last trip there we made some videos with his camera phone of us laughing and talking and so I watch them everynight - it helps. Then also we have a "date night" each week where thursday nights he stays up most of the night with me online and we have tea and snacks via webcam and microphone. Daily phone calls too.

Cheer up sweetie you're not alone in this and the good news is Morocco is pretty decent with getting interview dates out, not like the 10 month wait from Amman. Just think this summer you'll be on the beach together watching the sunset....can you see it

Thanks for the support. I don't know why some days just seem harder than others.

All the days are very hard, have you tried the yahoo conference, with the cam and the talking its about as close to being there as you can get (and cheaper)

I can hear you...

The only thing that's holding me from being with my husband is my school in Germany- and it's only another 3 months... but loooong three months those are.

When I returned from Seattle after Christmas, it took me a week to get back to normal, I just felt like half of me was missing.

Now, back in daily life, it's gotten better- being busy helps a lot.

However, usually on the weekends I have moments like the ones you described- and what (sometimes) helps a little is the combination of:

lavender oil (calms the nerves and makes tired)
thinking of something specific in great detail. We have our wedding reception to prepare for this summer and I think about it and plan it in every detail- the location, how we'll set up things, the food we'll offer, the favors- every little thing.

Usually this gives me something to look forward to and in combination with the lavender oil I fall asleep with a better mood sooner than later.

Hope you'll have a quick journey!

my fiance and i are going through the same problem. he's been sick and went to the doctor. the doctor told him to get more sleep and my fiance can't sleep because he closes his eyes and thinks about me all night.
i sleep but i don't sleep deeply because i dream about him. i think about him all day. its awful....
i hope i can make it these six months (minimum) apart. i really don't know how to handle it either.
yoga, stretching, trying to relax might help. keeping yourself busy. but during sleep.... thats tough. you don't want to rely on meds to make you sleep. i wish i had more help for you.
i lie awake thinking about what it will be like when abdelilah gets here. will he adjust okay. will my family and friends accept him. will he like them. will his english improve fast. will his university be accredited so he can get a good job in his field. i stressssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

I'm not saying, I don't get what you're saying, PatientlyWaiting! I get it very very very well!

I had to wait just 7 month for divorce to be final! Then wait to go back and get married to Mohamed. Then wait for papers to travel back and forth, so I could file. Now I'm waiting for AP or whatever and nothing can be done at this point! I've consulted with a lawyer, nothing he can do or anybody right now! I've complained to any place I could find out about regarding this K-3 shoved back to US almost a year ago!

It's been 19 months since I've filed! I can't even dream of my husband - can't sleep either and then I can't get up to go to work. Can't chat - once in 3 months maybe. Phone calls? Once a week. So, if you compare.... but I know you wouldn't want to compare this sh... with your waiting period. Hope you'll get thru it fast and hang in there! It's going to happen sooner or later, hope sooner than later.

It doesn't get any easier, you just get used to it and find some distractions. I haven't had a good night sleep even since I've met him and that's 33 months! I can only sleep next to him! Find distractions! Work on your paperwork since you didn't file yet and try to address all red flags before filing!!!

And then back to waiting,sweetie. We're in the same boat. Work on your papers real good and hope for the best, but be prepared! Hope you have a better visa journey, then me!
(((hugs)))

Tanya

sorry, you're already filed. I edited, but didn't delete something - didn't notice it.

T

I think that's partly why I agreed to do some consulting work here. When my kids are at their dads for the weekend I just sit and mope. This way my mind is off of it.

I almost posted that exact same post about not being able to sleep last night. When it's real bad I take a tylenol pm but then it's hell trying to get up the next morning. I have an old turtleneck of his that he gave me which hadn't been washed after he wore it three times and I put a pillow inside of it and that is how I sleep.

I also pray myself to sleep. When I'm ready, I lay down snuggling the smelly turtleneck-pillow and text him goodnight and then he texts me back goodnight and then I try to sleep.

I've also stopped having caffeine after 3pm thinking that might help but it does absolutely nothing.

How much caffeine do you drink during the day? Maybe it's enough that stopping at 3 isn't making a difference??
I know some people are more affected by it than others.


I have yet to have the problem that all of you are having, but reading this thread I am dreading it.
It's nice that you are all sharing ways to get through though.

I never ever had this problem before I went to Cairo.

I have one large coffee in the morning and then a diet coke with lunch. I used to have two or three diet cokes throughout the day but I limited it now, though since it's not helping I may go back to it.

Can you have a caffeine free coke at lunch? Or you really feel you need the caf? What about caffeine free but not sugar free? At least you'd be getting the sugar from it.

I definitely need the caffeine to get me through the day. Besides it's really not the issue. I'm tired enough to go to bed, but I just can't. I can't explain it but it just feels like something's missing.

Doodle, I thought only I was that crazy! Welcome to the club. I actually keep his clothes in a ziploc bag, so they still have his scent. But I do have "mohamed" pillow. I've never been like that! I never talked baby talk before I had my kids and was pretty down-to-earth at least in that.

My bedroom is the lonliest place in the house, my cats might come in, but then they leave. I don't sleep with pets - I have enough problems sleeping as it is. I just stare at the ceiling for good 30 minutes - and I'm so tired! Have to make myself turn the light off and get under the covers. Then I manage to turn it back on. That goes on and on sometimes for a while. The trick is to let myself believe that 'mohamed' pillow IS him and that I am hugging HIM. Then I can go to sleep! How crazy is that? I laugh at myself but this helps! Also I don't have coffee after 3 pm,know for sure it affects me. When I know I don't have to get up too early, I might take antihistamine - that gives me a headacke in the morning, but helps me have at least some kind of sleep.

Now I just called him and told about the lawyer, that nothing can be done! I don't know if he's crying, but he's not talking. We had longest pauses on the phone and he sounded crashed! I had to tell him something - he's been asking me to get a lawyer for a long time and made me promise to get one this week!

Could you ever move there for a while or would your children's dad have issues with that?

Count me in- I have a tshirt in a ziploc bag- but I hardly ever dare to smell it. Usually I have a major "missinghim" breakdown when I smell it.

I do have his deodorant on my nightstand that I smell every now and then and it always makes me smile.

And I have a pillow with a pillowcase of the sheet set we bought last time I was home. Soooo soooft.

Ah well... *sigh*

I've sucked about all of the smell out of it actually. The only thing that smells now is the pits. lol. And yes I smell them when I'm not doing so good. rofl. I told him this and he laughed hysterically. He won't change the pillow case on the pillow that I used.

I actually have a few of him oils and i put them on whenever i miss him. That helps a little. Too bad my patient hates one of my oils. I also make some Moroccan dishes and mint tea a lot! Not that I'm there, but tricks my brain or takes me to a 'happy place'

And no, Doodle, I can't go! My son's 14, another one one 18 but has his problems (lots of problems - spent too much time with the ex - years). So, now I'm stuck! as much as I hate it, I'm stuck! Maybe there is a way, but leaving my kids doesn't seem to be a good one...

Oh I don't blame you. I felt so bad leaving during the holiday break. My kids are with their dad for two weeks at a time in the summer and they see him every other weekend and every Wed night and all that but just knowing that I was so far away affected them. I'm hoping the next time I go it will be a little easier on them.

my fiance gave me a teddy bear SOAKED in his cologne. i used to hold it to fall asleep but now 99% of the cologne is gone i think next time i go back i'm going to buy a bottle of his cologne to bring home with me. and he can have it back when he finally gets his visa.

I got some ambien . . . seems to work OK, but I'd really like the doctor to try me on some Ambien CR. I don't take it every night though, but last night I decided that it might be a good thing to do since I hadn't slept well for several nights. But you need to go to bed early enough to be sure you can get at least 8 hours of sleep . . . that is one of the warnings, but true! I took it about 11:30 and I didn't get out of bed until after 7am this morning.

Do you feel groggy the first hour that you're awake or do you wake up refreshed?

Oy, does this bring back memories. I asked Tamer to send me a shirt to sleep in, and he sent me a button down dress shirt I thought he misunderstood me, but it turns out he actually does sleep in old button down dress shirts.

I'm not sure of your religious affiliations, but for me, I do dhikr - rememberance of God, repeating la ilaha il Allah, SubhanAllah, Allahu Akbar, etc - when I lie down. It calms me down. Pick a soothing thought and think about it. I sometimes also create stories in my head about positive things I'd like to happen in the future. It used to be when Tamer and I were to be reunited, and now it's about our future kids (inshaAllah!)


I did try taking sleep medicine, but it interacted poorly with some of my other stuff, and made me faint. Definately not what I want to do

I use Al-Fatiha. That's all I know for now. It does get me relaxed and then I just fall asleep. Could you PM me, RAHMA what you're talking about? I'd like to learn more. I saw something that you're supposed to say 100 times a day, but don't remember what. What you're talking about looks kind of like it.

Oh yeah! I went to Target with my son, it was fun! They got lots of nice imported stuff, mostly from China and India. Very nice! Got some stuff, mostly useless stuff - something on clearance. They didn't have anything made in Morocco, but I did get a camel for $5.99 and some nice Chinese bowls. My son is a very slow eater, and they have soup bowls with lids. Look pretty neat.

Then we went to Subway and got 4 1/2 hoagies for $9.99.

Well, when I first wake up, I am always a bit out of it, but that is usual for me anyway. Other than that, I think I am OK . . . and I always drink coffee in the morning anyway. I have to admit I am at my worst first thing in the morning . . . so drugs or now drugs . . . makes no diff.

I'm not a morning person either, but not sleeping at night is no fun when you have to get up and go to work, I'll tell you that. I'm like a zombie for about one/one and a half hours from when I get up. And I always make my bed and cover 'mohamed' pillow, and i envy that it gets to stay home. Which is totally crazy. But I guess, we wouldn't be here on VJ with our problems if we weren't at least a bit crazy - to go and meet a guy who knows where and fall in love with him...
I consider that at least a little bit crazy. Don't gang up on me now, girls - I'm just like you!

That's what I kept telling my husband, that we both were crazy when we met online and started all this.

There are beads that you can use when doing dhikr too. Usama made me some and that is what I use. Still does'nt get me to sleep though. 12:28am here and I have to be up at 7am and I'm WIDE awake.

Here we gooo again it's 12:30 and I have to wake up at 7:30 and busy until 8:30 and still awake

I spend two and half hours on the phone again today with my sweetie and still i'm wide awake. Funny about the shirt thing, I thought I was the only one. I made him sleep in this particular sweater everynight for 7 days. I have worn it every night since I got back 1/21. I refuse to wash it, but I had to retire from sleeping in it lolol so I just leave it next to my bed with his picture and some gifts he bought me......sigggghhhhh

It's way too $$$ but I think I'll be heading back at the end of March, even for a few days, I can't take being away from him. We were going to try to wait until his interview which could be as early as August, but as late as December. Decisions decisions....

I hope the rest of you ladies are tucked away sleeping now. hugs x0x0x

Count me in on the shirt thing - I took an old sweatshirt from, which he made me promise never to show anyone because he doesn't want them thinking these are the kinds of gifts he gives me hehe.

What really helps me sleep is excercising during the day. I know everyone is super busy but I just do like 15 min of running then 15 min of walking and I can sleep a lot better at night, and get rid of some of my stress.

This is the real key to relieving stress . . . I need to park further out in the parking lot so I can get a mile by walking back and forth to my car, lol!!! Also, so I can not get scratches . . . I have managed to go one week without a scratch . . . but i know I'll cry when the first one comes

avoid parking next to two door cars

My car has 4 doors!! are you saying the 2 door kind have longer doors?? Oh, wait, you may be right . . . when I had a 2 door MX6, the door was longer!

So far in the work parking lot, I am out sooooooooooo far that I can have one empty space on both sides. but when I went to wendy's at lunch, I was all nervous about those ppl who insist on parking right next to you . . . hehehehe . . . of course, every space is full at lunch!!

that's exactly it. longer doors on a 2 door. also park on the end of the parking lot if you can on the passenger side of other vehicles. i also recommend if you go to wal-mart or something like that, park on the uphill side so the shopping carts don't roll downhill into you.

Hi,
I know about those sleepless nights. We were married Feb. 13, 2006 in Amman, Jordan. Since then I've only visited him once more in October for 2 weeks. Because of my job, I can't just leave and visit but I certainly would like to. Our interview is April 18, 2007 and I'm going crazy with all the waiting. I don't have any suggestions except keep praying and try to stay busy. On VJ member whose husband is already here says we should do all the fun things we like to do now before our husbands come. Once they come life as we know it now will surely change. Anway, you pray for me and i'll pray for u that these sleepless nights will become fewer.

irahaymeh[

quote name='patiently_waiting' date='Jan 28 2007, 12:12 AM' post='689314']
So here it is, technically Sunday morning, and I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about Rida and missing him. Thinking what it will be like when he finally gets here. Trying to figure out some way to go visit. So many thoughts that just won't stop. Did, or do, any of you go through this too? I have so many sleepless nights over this and it is driving me crazy! Any suggestions? Already tried antihistamines...but they aren't helping.



Mona
[/quote]

Hi,
I know about those sleepless nights. We were married Feb. 13, 2006 in Amman, Jordan. Since then I've only visited him once more in October for 2 weeks. Because of my job, I can't just leave and visit but I certainly would like to. Our interview is April 18, 2007 and I'm going crazy with all the waiting. I don't have any suggestions except keep praying and try to stay busy. On VJ member whose husband is already here says we should do all the fun things we like to do now before our husbands come. Once they come life as we know it now will surely change. Anway, you pray for me and i'll pray for u that these sleepless nights will become fewer.