Once I had a conversation with my mom, she implied that I must be crazy to be attracted to a middle eastern man because of the way they treat women. You know, she said, how they delegate them to being less then the men. That somehow I was lessening myself by going out with a man from that area. Or perhaps I was wanting to be abused. Or that I was submissive.

This is funny because I was raised mostly by my grandma. Who was a stay at home mom and then grandma. Her view was that the man is head of the house hold family wise. That a woman should raise her own children and not have anyone do it for her. Don't bother having children if you are going to pawn them off on someone else. Your husband works a full time job and your job is to be his wife. My grandfather was a drunk and worse but she stuck by him.

Now my mom and dad divorced when I was little. My mom went back to work, however she would rather be at work then at home. She wasn't much with affection or very loving. My grandma was all that. She kept marrying drunks and right now is married to a WASP who tells her what to think... With each relationship she becomes what they want, until she herself is lost. Then wants out.

My husband is sooooooooo very family oriented. His family is kind to me. (they did ask me however if there are drug dealers on every corner and if every one has a gun? Thank you TV) He protects me and loves me for who I am. He has never abused me, unless you count the hickey he gave me and I was cheesed about. As for me being submissive, I am very head strong, but I defer to him. Is that submissive??? Then yes, perhaps. He is extremely intelligent and makes very good choices, I mean he picked me didn't he... LOL!

Has anyone else encountered such resistance with family... the absolute conviction that family has even though they are wrong?


What made you attracted to your mate?

What was different about them that made you take a second and third look ect...?

What stereo types did you have to break down for your family to accept your mate...?


allot of questions here... LOL

sooooo curios!

Wendy

Hi Wendy!

Well let me see, what attracted me to my hunny. So much, the first was his patience. He has always been extremely patient with me and proved himself to be very trust worthy from the get go. He was a friend when I needed him to be and always there for me in every way imaginable. We have so much in common too. I was also intrigued ofcourse because he is Jordanian and Christian, like me.

During the course of the process I have grown to love him even more than I could have ever imagined. This process is like a living hell, we have been waiting 15 months to be reunited with no end in sight. As hellish as this all sounds, its also extremely comforting to know that someone is willing to go through all this hell just to be with me.

JP

JP is right to stick this out with you he muct really care. Right now me and my fiance are trying to prepare ourselves for abotu 6 year sepration and he is trying to get me to move to Morocco. I love his brain, I am a geek, he is so smart and it is more of a natural smart. Becuase he has no street smarts ( I hate this.) But he is funny and he is very different in his opinions. Like they wanted to do Henia for me and I told him that I did not like and he said he did not like it either. I told him well lets get Henia Tatoos and he was like cool! So we got fake tats!!! We also have a lot in common, but he is a softy. I know that I will the one discplining our child, he would not step on fly you know. He is sweet, but he has his a hold moments. One thing I like to is he is not afriad to be himself and neither am I. We fight each other all the time. He says it is just us getting to know each other when it is all over with. But I think I have a pretty good picture of him. My parents are cool with it and my son loves hi. The sterotypes that I think I had to break down was ..... I can not really thinik of any becuase I really do not care. My mother is worse than yours so opinion does not matter much. I have made great choices in life and I will do my best in everything that I do. My family seems to accept what you will accept, I do not entertain stupid converstaion and I am open about a lot of things so it has always been on the table. My family is important and I am trying to bridge out relationsihp and in a funny way this has brought us closer together. It was great to see my mother so supportive after the interview.

At first, Hachemi and I were just friends. I wasnt looking for a relationship. The main thing I thought at first was he is so cute, but sooo young. Over the months as I began to know him more and I realized I was falling for him. He is so kind hearted and sweet. I had so much respect for him and I told him that one day. He said, that is the day, he knew, he loved me. Hachemi loves his family and adores his mom. I thought it was so sweet when he hugged and kissed his mom. He cried for me when I left Algeria! I have never had a man cry for me. He never gave me any reason to doubt his love for me. As far as my family goes, my children and my grandchildren love him. They were skeptical at first but they see how good he is to me and they defend him if anything negative is said by someone. My parents and I were estranged before I knew Hachemi. Believe me, it was not my doing. (long story) I heard one time she said "I cant beleive she is marrying that Muslim." What she didnt know is that I am Muslim too. She knows now and she didnt have anything good to say. Well, I never saw her in church so what is the big deal? It not like she raised her kids in any religion. They are the ones missing out on knowing a wonderful man that would love them, respect them, and do anything for them. Oh well, their loss.

Meriem

My family thinks I'm nuts. I have yet to marry my man so things are all up in the air with my family right now. I think once they meet him their opinions will change (a little) but for now he is this fantasy. Some crazy Moroccan muslim who is young, not ready for marriage in their eyes, oh I could go on forever what my mom says. I think her opinion will change once he is on American soil and meetshim and sees how awesome he is.

What made me attracted to him? Well I met him in person (not online) so first of course was his looks. He's 6'5" and gorgeous (to me anyway) He was dancing and smiling when I first saw him. I loved the look of pure happiness on his face.
After that initial LUST.... what made me still want him? His kindness towards others. He's the kind of man who runs over to help an old lady cross the street (he actually did this in front of me), help someone on crutches, plays with children, etc. He's the kind of man that lights up the room when he walks in. Everyone likes him, everyone knows him. He's funny, intelligent, wild, yet calm and inquisitive. Confidence yet insecure. He helps his mom cook and clean......wow

Stereotypes to break down? I didn't get to do them yet.... but he and I will have to show them he is ready and willing to take care of me. He is ready to change his language and life to be next to me. They will have to have conversations with him for them to relax. I think all of this will take time to prove to my parents. .......it will happen inchallah.

I have a hard time talking about myself or my family usually. I don't know why, I guess I feel like I'm bragging. I'll just say that I can't imagine being with anyone other than Wadi. No one else *really* gets me like he does, and vice versa. What there is to get is our secret!

I don't think we would have married without the approval and support of both our families. For him, it is religiously and culturally engrained in him that you respect and honor your parents. For me, despite their quirks, my family is precious too me. So not only did we want our own families to respect our choice, but we wanted the other family too as well. He absolutely would not have come here if he felt my family was against him; he would not have wanted me to lose my family and felt that since they would be his only family here, approval was crucial.

Anyway, as to why him, we just fit!

I was attracted instantly to Mohammed's personality. He was easy insightful, inquisitive, creative, intelligent with a sharp sense of humor I could really appreciate. I was also drawn to his spiritual nature, meaning his way of interpreting his own spirituality that was delightful to me. We just flowed together easily, differences didn't really exist between us. Our conversations were never dull and never required effort, we could and can still talk and laugh about anything and enjoy it deeply. His creativity and love of music really appealed to me and blends very well with my own love of writing. We easily shared everything about our lives with a level of trust I don't find easily with others. Our relationship grew from a friendship and enjoyment of sharing time and thoughts with each other. Even though our relationship is ever evolving, this is the one thing that remains unchanged.

My family was not very please about all this in the beginning, holding the same stereotypes as most have, but after talking with him and now as they get to know him, they more then accept him. My father is now pushing me to learn Arabic.

Why AHmed? if you could see the smile you would know. Words that would describe, kind, gentle, careing, smart, funny, respectful and many more. His actions show much love within his family and his friends all look to him for support, and these are friends of all ages young and old.

He will never hurt anyone, he wouldnt even kill a bee once. With this process his patience is much better than mine, i'm looking to face the problems and hes saying it will be fine.

He is always asking if i rest well or if i eat well, wanting only best for me until he can get here to see everything is taken care of.

Most people family and friends just are relating to the sterotypes on tv or newspapers, once they know the real person they will see.

Im older but it works for us. why? why not, hes my best friend

I like the way he lifts his left eyebrow.

is his name spock?

Sorry, but that made me




*The response of Charles, not Doodle

Charles, Charles

don't kill me but i don't get it. All I remember of spock is his pointy ears...which my husband does not have.

Spock used to raise his eyebrows at times when talking with people depending on the situation or what was being said. It was kinda funny and when Charles said that I just got this picture in my head of Spock and Doodle hangin out in Egypt. Spock wearing his uniform of course.

And you to be with him.. If somebody said that already, I dont know cuz I just started reading here.

Limah

I love when my husband does that too! He's got gorgeous eyebrows. Almost too beautiful for a man.

Don't worry I remind him of that constantly. Actually this is one of our favorite conversations, we just have it all the time. It keeps up strong during the wait.

that's illogical

Great. Now I have a visual of Usama in a Star Treck out fit.

And from now on when he does the (eyebrow) thing you willlllll remember ha

I can't say the one thing that attracted me to my husband. Our story is sort of fairy tale-esque. But quick summary and history for me. I had a 7 month old son, whose father abandoned us when I was 5 months pregnant and a frosh. in College. I never quit school and had resigned myself that I would be alone with Mikhail for the rest of my life as obviously no man would want a relationship with me (this was after a few failed dates who failed for the reason that I had a child.) I went to Morocco with my dad and sister on vacation and felt so disgusted by the way guys would hoot and hollar. My sister met a guy in the souk in Marrakech and invited him to accompany us one night and I was steamed. He called another of his friends to go with us. Low and behold appears this guy at my side and the first time I looked at him it was right in the eyes. I knew in my heart he would be my husband. As it turns out his sisters were talking to the guy my sister had met and saw me with them. They went home and told Youssef they saw a girl with his friend and that they felt like we would be great together. I didn't find this out until much later but needless to say here we are, married for almost a year and have a little baby boy. He never questioned my son and loves him like his own. The major things that I love about him:

1) His sense of family and the respect he shows to his mother and sisters. I knew that he would always respect me because of the way he treated them.

2) The way he looks like a little doll when he is sleeping, totally peaceful and undisturbed

3) That he'll wake up with Khalil or Mikhail at anytime to change a diaper, get a bottle, or do whatever needs to be done.

4) His obsessive need to secure the house with locks, or just about anything that he can find to make sure no one can get in and hurt us. (Drives me nuts but is still endearing)

5) When he kisses my hand and looks in my eyes and I still feel the same butterflies I felt the first time I saw him.

What attracted me to my husband - not just the fact he is HOT DAYUM!
it was the fact he is OPEN minded and compromising. you have to be open minded and compromising to put up with my schitt!!!

I'm still about spock. I'll post something more serious about my honey later.

um, that's uhura

My Fiance does the same thing. Funny.

LOL, I have a funny photo of my husband with that eyebrow raised and shaking his finger at me while he is standing at the stove cooking!! I love it when he cooks, hehe!

Great post Wendy. We have had this posted a few times, but it is always good to refresh it in our minds and explore reasons others fell in love with their mates.

What made you attracted to your mate?
Well my husband in my opinion is a great person and man inside and out. Corny as it sounds, he is my soulmate. I had my doubts at first, but in the end my first feeling (way down deep) was correct---> He is the one for me!
What attracted me to my husband at first was that he is very optimist, always seeing the up side of every situation. ' He seems to swear by the 'I BELIEVE' motto. That if we believe we can achieve anything.
Mostly I think this comes from his upbringing and his country's not so recent tragic history.
My husband is also very imaginative and adventerous (something I was not really until I met him).
And not to mention he is very easy on the eyes. Another corny thing, but I will share this... if I were to make list of physical characteristcs I would ideally want in a man... my husband would come out. I have been overly blessed.

What was different about them that made you take a second and third look ect...?
His compassion and unworldly selflessness and gentle, patient, malleable nature astonishes me even to this day. And agian, not to mention the looks. *wink*wink*


What stereo types did you have to break down for your family to accept your mate...?
Well, I am still working throu them for my family. But many sterotypes have been and are being broken.

• Breaking the myth all MENA men marry several wives:

My husband is intensely loyal and home-loving and will remain faithful. He understands and knows the reasoning for this particular part in his religion, but admints it is not for him.

• Breaking the myth all MENA men are egotistical, self-indulgent, male chauvinist who rules his home with a iron fist:
  They are never egotistical in their personal relationships and give more than they ask from their friends. They are sexually delicate, in the extreme almost asexual, and most Pisceans would want a relationship in which the partner's mind and spirit rather than the body resonated with their own. Unfortunately they can be easily misled by a lover who courts them delicately and in marriage makes them unhappy by a coarser sexuality than they expected.

Great post Wendy. We have had this posted a few times, but it is always good to refresh it in our minds and explore reasons others fell in love with their mates.

What made you attracted to your mate?
Well my husband in my opinion is a great person and man inside and out. Corny as it sounds, he is my soulmate. I had my doubts at first, but in the end my first feeling (way down deep) was correct---> He is the one for me!
What attracted me to my husband at first was that he is very optimist, always seeing the up side of every situation. ' He seems to swear by the 'I BELIEVE' motto. That if we believe we can achieve anything.
Mostly I think this comes from his upbringing and his country's not so recent tragic history.
My husband is also very imaginative and adventerous (something I was not really until I met him).
And not to mention he is very easy on the eyes. Another corny thing, but I will share this... if I were to make list of physical characteristcs I would ideally want in a man... my husband would come out. I have been overly blessed.

What was different about them that made you take a second and third look ect...?
His compassion and unworldly selflessness and gentle, patient, malleable nature astonishes me even to this day. And agian, not to mention the looks. *wink*wink*


What stereo types did you have to break down for your family to accept your mate...?
Well, I am still working throu them for my family. But many sterotypes have been and are being broken.

• Breaking the myth all MENA men marry several wives:

My husband is intensely loyal and home-loving and will remain faithful. He understands and knows the reasoning for this particular part in his religion, but admints it is not for him.

• Breaking the myth all MENA men are egotistical, self-indulgent, male chauvinist who rules his home with a iron fist:
  They are never egotistical in their personal relationships and give more than they ask from their friends. They are sexually delicate, in the extreme almost asexual, and most Pisceans would want a relationship in which the partner's mind and spirit rather than the body resonated with their own. Unfortunately they can be easily misled by a lover who courts them delicately and in marriage makes them unhappy by a coarser sexuality than they expected.

Great post Wendy. We have had this posted a few times, but it is always good to refresh it in our minds and explore reasons others fell in love with their mates.

What made you attracted to your mate?
Well my husband in my opinion is a great person and man inside and out. Corny as it sounds, he is my soulmate. I had my doubts at first, but in the end my first feeling (way down deep) was correct---> He is the one for me!
What attracted me to my husband at first was that he is very optimist, always seeing the up side of every situation. ' He seems to swear by the 'I BELIEVE' motto. That if we believe we can achieve anything.
Mostly I think this comes from his upbringing and his country's not so recent tragic history.
My husband is also very imaginative and adventerous (something I was not really until I met him).
And not to mention he is very easy on the eyes. Another corny thing, but I will share this... if I were to make list of physical characteristcs I would ideally want in a man... my husband would come out. I have been overly blessed.

What was different about them that made you take a second and third look ect...?
His compassion and unworldly selflessness and gentle, patient, malleable nature astonishes me even to this day. And agian, not to mention the looks. *wink*wink*


What stereo types did you have to break down for your family to accept your mate...?
Well, I am still working throu them for my family. But many sterotypes have been and are being broken.

• Breaking the myth all MENA men marry several wives:

My husband is intensely loyal and home-loving and will remain faithful. He understands and knows the reasoning for this particular part in his religion, but admints it is not for him.

• Breaking the myth all MENA men are egotistical, self-indulgent, male chauvinist who rules his home with a iron fist:
  They are never egotistical in their personal relationships and give more than they ask from their friends. They are sexually delicate, in the extreme almost asexual, and most Pisceans would want a relationship in which the partner's mind and spirit rather than the body resonated with their own. Unfortunately they can be easily misled by a lover who courts them delicately and in marriage makes them unhappy by a coarser sexuality than they expected.

Great post Wendy. We have had this posted a few times, but it is always good to refresh it in our minds and explore reasons others fell in love with their mates.

What made you attracted to your mate?
Well my husband in my opinion is a great person and man inside and out. Corny as it sounds, he is my soulmate. I had my doubts at first, but in the end my first feeling (way down deep) was correct---> He is the one for me!
What attracted me to my husband at first was that he is very optimist, always seeing the up side of every situation. ' He seems to swear by the 'I BELIEVE' motto. That if we believe we can achieve anything.
Mostly I think this comes from his upbringing and his country's not so recent tragic history.
My husband is also very imaginative and adventerous (something I was not really until I met him).
And not to mention he is very easy on the eyes. Another corny thing, but I will share this... if I were to make list of physical characteristcs I would ideally want in a man... my husband would come out. I have been overly blessed.

What was different about them that made you take a second and third look ect...?
His compassion and unworldly selflessness and gentle, patient, malleable nature astonishes me even to this day. And agian, not to mention the looks. *wink*wink*


What stereo types did you have to break down for your family to accept your mate...?
Well, I am still working throu them for my family. But many sterotypes have been and are being broken.

• Breaking the myth all MENA men marry several wives:

My husband is intensely loyal and home-loving and will remain faithful. He understands and knows the reasoning for this particular part in his religion, but admints it is not for him.

• Breaking the myth all MENA men are egotistical, self-indulgent, male chauvinist who rules his home with a iron fist:
  They are never egotistical in their personal relationships and give more than they ask from their friends. They are sexually delicate, in the extreme almost asexual, and most Pisceans would want a relationship in which the partner's mind and spirit rather than the body resonated with their own. Unfortunately they can be easily misled by a lover who courts them delicately and in marriage makes them unhappy by a coarser sexuality than they expected.

Great post Wendy. We have had this posted a few times, but it is always good to refresh it in our minds and explore reasons others fell in love with their mates.

What made you attracted to your mate?
Well my husband in my opinion is a great person and man inside and out. Corny as it sounds, he is my soulmate. I had my doubts at first, but in the end my first feeling (way down deep) was correct---> He is the one for me!
What attracted me to my husband at first was that he is very optimist, always seeing the up side of every situation. ' He seems to swear by the 'I BELIEVE' motto. That if we believe we can achieve anything.
Mostly I think this comes from his upbringing and his country's not so recent tragic history.
My husband is also very imaginative and adventerous (something I was not really until I met him).
And not to mention he is very easy on the eyes. Another corny thing, but I will share this... if I were to make list of physical characteristcs I would ideally want in a man... my husband would come out. I have been overly blessed.

What was different about them that made you take a second and third look ect...?
His compassion and unworldly selflessness and gentle, patient, malleable nature astonishes me even to this day. And agian, not to mention the looks. *wink*wink*


What stereo types did you have to break down for your family to accept your mate...?
Well, I am still working throu them for my family. But many sterotypes have been and are being broken.

• Breaking the myth all MENA men marry several wives:

My husband is intensely loyal and home-loving and will remain faithful. He understands and knows the reasoning for this particular part in his religion, but admints it is not for him.

• Breaking the myth all MENA men are egotistical, self-indulgent, male chauvinist who rules his home with a iron fist:
  They are never egotistical in their personal relationships and give more than they ask from their friends. They are sexually delicate, in the extreme almost asexual, and most Pisceans would want a relationship in which the partner's mind and spirit rather than the body resonated with their own. Unfortunately they can be easily misled by a lover who courts them delicately and in marriage makes them unhappy by a coarser sexuality than they expected.

When I first saw Mohammed's face on webcam, I saw an honesty in his eyes that I fell in love with. Sometimes he's too honest, but I have learned to adapt to that. Like others have said, I saw him treat his mother and sisters with respect. This was endearing.

My sister said of my first trip to Jordan, 'He won't let you return.' I said 'after a week with me,,he'll let me go' By the second and third trip my family was placing orders what they wanted me to bring them.

Jackie

Great post Wendy. This has been donw a few times, but I am glad to see it reappear, renewing why we love our SOs and breaking stereotypes.

What made you attracted to your mate?
Even thou, I had doubts when we first met, my husband was and is my soulmate. We complete each other.
What made me attracted to him: 'I BELIEVE' motto he lives by. Believing anything is possible, even the impossible if we pray and put our minds to it. A never dying optimistism. He seems to always see the up side of any situation. (Which I donnot)
He possess a gentle, patient, easygoing, affectionate, malleable nature which is refreshing. He is also very adventurous... he makes me 'do' things I would normally not even think about doing.
I like his eyes and esp his smile. I like other things but I will not mention them here.

What was different about them that made you take a second and third look ect...?
His comanding presence (just his height alone LOL) and easygoing nature makes me somehow feel secure, calm and less stressed out. I can be who I really am inside with him. He cannot be shocked or made angry easily. Believe me, I have tried. He is also very skillfully adaptable in various situations.

What stereo types did you have to break down for your family to accept your mate...?
As I think with many MENA people and our families (and country's) we too had to and are still having to break many stereotypical thinking:
MENA men are egostistical, self-indulgent male chauvanists who want everything their way and they rule with a iron fist:
My husband in fact is more considered with others, then himslef. His family is number 1 is his heart and mind. I see that not only the way he treats me, but his family, friends, collegues and now how he treats my daughter and my family. He has in a big way, mended my family wounds and reopened that door.He is also very generous. Giving without any thought, excepting nothing back.
He is also very compassionate, sensitive to the feelings of those around them, and responds with the utmost sympathy.
MENA men are not able nor want to adapt: My husband has accepted all people around him and the circumstances in which he finds himslef rather than push the person or situation to adapt him to suit himself, and he patiently wait for problems to sort themselves out.
Also he understands the role of polgamy in his religion, but also knows its rules and knows it is not for him.
He pushes me to do better in my profession, to continue to educate myself and my daughter.
MENA men are stuck in time and do everything by the book: My husband is imaginative and open-minded free thinker. Even thou, I veil he would have no trouble with me not veiling. He is more adventurous then me, willing to try new things more then I would.
MENA men want to run the show: My husband has no problems handing me the reins. He appreciates my ideas and our relation is 50/50.




Um, I just would like to apologise for mh post coming up so many times. I donnow what happened. Also I enjoyed reading everyone's posts.

Thank you so much for your postings. I really loved the intense feelings you all portrayed. It makes me feel that love is alive and well contrary to what you read about all the time.

Thank you so much for sharing!!!!!


Wendy

Henia,

I guess your husband is a Pisces!! What you wrote about him is almost word-for-word the description of a Pisces from lots of websites

Pisces


and about MENA men in general:



Thankfully, not all our men are not Pisces, because I for one don't want an asexual man!

Thanks, I see you find it your duty to always pick at me. Yes, my husband is a Pisces and yes I did get some inspirations on how to word what I wanted to say.

I have a question. I thought astrology and horoscopes were haram?

And what about plagarism?

Thanks, I see you find it your duty to always pick at me. Yes, my husband is a Pisces and yes I did get some inspirations on how to word what I wanted to say.

You do English better than a lot of folk here do French, Henia.

My husband is Pisces too, and I love it!

What made you attracted to your mate?

It sounds so shallow, but it was definately his looks. He has these gorgeous green eyes that don't even look real. And it's not that I've never seen a guy with green eyes before, but the way Fadi's eyes contrast with his dark hair and olive skin just hypnotized me from the moment I met him.

What was different about them that made you take a second and third look ect...?

After the initial surface lust I fell in love with his personality and mind. He treated me with such love and tenderness and looked at me in a way no man has ever looked at me before. It made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, which he tells me I am everyday. We have been going through the Visa nightmare for 14 months now and in our entire 18 month relationship we've only spent about 6 months together. Yet his love and devotion to me has never wavered or faltered. I feel the separation and hell we have gone through has strengthened our relationship. When you are forced to carry on your relationship solely via the internet and phone you learn how to communicate without the distractions of physical contact....I really feel it solidifies and gives a relationship a firm basis from which to grow in the future (but even though I believe this I'd still give anything to have him here with me now ....LOL )

What stereo types did you have to break down for your family to accept your mate...?

Sadly, and I AM ashamed of this, the first stereotypes that I had to break through were my own. I was in the military and had some very distorted concepts and views regarding the Mid-Eastern culture. I volunteered to go to Iraq becasue I wanted to help kill dirty Iraqis. To me they were all ignorant towel heads who beat their wives, didn't bathe and sh*t in the street. The last type of man I ever expected to be attracted to was a Mid-Eastern.

I know now that this is why fate slapped me in the face with my wake-up call when I arrived and crossed paths with Fadi. He, as well as many other Iraqis, taught me so much.....and showed me that I and so many other Americans were the ignorant ones. My whole perspective transformed and I became a new person. Although Fadi is not Muslim, I was still surrounded on a daily basis by his friends and co-workers who were and I learned much about the religion. Most of these men treated their wives with more respect and referreed to them in a more loving manner than 90% of American men. (Becasue for some strange reason it means you're a PU$$Y if you gush and talk respectfully about your wife/girlfriend in the U.S.)

When I informed my family of my intentions to marry Fadi my mother was immidiately supportive. She is an amazning woman who has never judged a person based on race, culture or anything. She raised me to be that way but I allowed the military and others to influence me in a negative manner. My father, on the other hand, was not very accepting. He was sure Fadi was going to kidnap me and drag me by the hair to Mecca. (Even though I TOLD my father that Fadi is a Christian - ignorant Americans).

Anyway, I hope that my father's views shift once he meets Fadi and he learns half as much as I have. But even if nothign changes, it will not phase me. I will love Fadi no matter what my family thinks.

What made you attracted to your mate?
Well since I met Marlon online, the first thing that I noticed about his personality was that he was very easy going as well as interested in what I had to say. I did see a photo of him and he is very beautiful and gorgeous in my eyes but by having a long-distance relationship, communication is what we have had to build. I love the fact that we can talk about anything and the way he always asks if I am alright everytime that I call him.

What was different about them that made you take a second and third look ect...?
My mother always taught me to take everything with a grain of salt. At the beginning of getting to know one and other online, I maintained distance when it came to how I was starting to feel about him. We had a few disagreements online and those are difficult because the keyboard does not amply express how one feels! He write me poetry! No man has ever done that for me before! After awhile we realized that he and I both want the same things out of life. We realized that our sense of humor is similar and we often knew what the other was thinking and what they would say!

What stereo types did you have to break down for your family to accept your mate...?

Thankfully my mother was very accepting of our relationship. Granted she only saw photos and spoke with him on the phone. Sadly she passed away in October. Before she left this world, I was crying and apologizing about how she would not get to meet him or see us married etc. She told me that he looks and sounds like a nice person and that I would be very happy. She also told me I would make a great mommy and coming from here that was a HUGE compliment! For the most part the rest of my family has been very supportive. Other than the occasional "he's using you for a green card" from bystanders is all I have really had to deal with. Marlon also heard that "American women go to Jamaica only for a fling and have many men in different countries." lol Bottom line: nobody has the right to judge Marlon or I or what we have. We are both secure in the knowledge of love, ourselves, and God.