My fiance and me. Or my fiance and I . . .

That is how I will refer to him. Maybe even my man. But for sure, I will not say my Moroccan. To me the signals a sense of ownersip. How can one this day and age own another human being? I have been reading several messages and though not commenting, I have enjoyed them all. You guys seem to have some real online friendships going on.

My moroccan is just like saying my chinese girl, my Jamaican, my Russian, My African, my American. Is it just me or do these terms not sound right to others?

Hey how ya doing, wondered where you been, does kinda make them sound like an item of ownership

I agree with you and have often wondered why people refer to their spouses that way. They may not mean it but it sure sounds bad. Now where is my Jordanian, lol.

Hi guys, haven't posted in a while. Seems like when your husband finally gets to America there are a lot of adjustments to make, not including what you already had before he got here.

I agree, but just to add a little touch to this, my husband is a Jordanian and proud of it. He comes from a very peaceful country with a great Monarch on top of it all. He actually beams when I call him my Jordanian, makes him feel like he's King of Jordan. The Middle Eastern's are proud of who they are and they consider themselves, just that. They love their homeland and love being reminded who they are. True, it does sound like we are labeling, but in actuallity, they love it. When I tell my husband, I love my Jordanian man, he smiles and his eyes light up. It's a recognition thing, I think. For so many years, they have felt down-graded I guess. They also love to be called Arab too, they are proud of it!

How is everyone on this board? My husband works nights now and I have time to hang out. Whew Hew!

Andrea

PS JP, what's happening with your fiance?

Nothing happening at all, we are pending.

Well some people feel they have ownership over their SOs... and maybe some other refer to their SO in this way in a form of expressing their love. But if a couple were do this public, to the point of shame then of course that is wrong.

I know alot of women married to moroccans who refer to their husbands as their moroccan - and I know its not because of ownership - its because moroccans just have such special personalities that it is fun to refer to them as their moroccan vs. their husband because the moroccan bit distinguishes them!!!

I know a woman when frustrated with her stubborn husband will email me and say can you believe what my moroccan or my moroccan husband did today - and its because she equates his stubbornness to a moroccanism....

I must not be paying attention because I haven't seen anyone write "my Moroccan".

There's a thread with that in the topic right now!

ok ok, besides that. I just saw it right now... oopsies!

I call my fiance "my Brazilian" sometimes. More often I call him "my ruivo" (Portuguese for redhead) or "my Paulista" (name for someone from São Paulo state). When I say it I mean it as a joke because it totally sounds like he's my pet. He calls me his gringa.

That is funny

Very good. I would hate to be referred to by my fiance as his black girl or his African American. I have a name and do not need to be reminded of where I am from.

I know that it is off the topic but just wondering how was Morocco...Its good to see you back and I hope that you had great time with your fiance...
Dorothy

I had a wonderful time with my fiance. He spoils me. I do not have to lift a finger for a change. It is so much fun just being catered too. I will want him to cook and clean for me here all the time. I do not think It will happen, lol. Thanks for asking.

For all of you guys (white women), would it be safe to assume then that if you were married to someone of the same race (white man) you would refer to him as my white man, my Caucasian, my Anglo saxon? Respectfully.

My friends refer to C. jokingly as the 'the Canuck' or 'your lumberjack', and I sometimes tell him he's my big Canadian bear, but I don't think I'd say 'my Canadian and I.'

I'd feel like I was saying 'my iPod', or 'this toaster oven is returnable on Amazon.'

I am glad to hear that and wish you a speedy processing. Also I hope that you will have him by your side very soon - you guys make such a lovely couple...Best of luck.

Dorothy

I suspect that if the Moroccan was going around referring to his fiance/wife as "My American" there would be those that would think that is not very different than saying "My Green Card".

ain't that the truth.

You are very kind, thank you.



yes I agree

I don't see how this compares. No one is referring to their spouse from Morocco as "my brown man" or "my caramel-colored man". They are referring to their country of origin, not their skin color. Using whites and Anglo Saxon interchangably is like saying all brown people are from India. I know many Moroccans who consider themselves white and identify this way on applications, etc.

This comparison makes no sense. "My Moroccan" refers to his country, not his color.

Many cultures have plenty of pet names for each other. Where I live, there are a huge number of hispanic/caucasian relationships and it's common for a caucasian girl who is with an hispanic guy to be called "my guera" (slang for white girl in Spanish) as a pet name. They also use "gorda/gordo" a lot which translates to fatty, which I'm sure many of us would object to in English, but is a pet name in Spanish.

Also, my moroccan calls himself white (how the french & moroccan word translates into English), but he's certainly not Anglo Saxon. Europeans don't have the line on light skin.

Well... since I'm the person you are referring to I suppose I should respond.

First of all, I think you should stop taking yourself so seriously. I would say its somewhat of a term of endearment. By NO WAY would I ever say or think I OWN someone. Thats a ridiculous thing to say. But then again you don't know me. But I somehow think most people wouldn't feel they OWN someone.....hmmmm...

How about when you call someone " your baby", "your sweetie", "your lover". Do you own them? And if "my moroccan" called me "my american" I would think it was funny... not offensive.


Unless your post really was a joke and I completely missed it? I almost find it hard to believe you sat here and thought about this and felt the need to make a post because you took it so seriously. haha!

I just took your thread title to mean I have questions about my moroccan as opposed to your moroccan.

I think "my Moroccan" is cute. There's even a poster here who uses that as their ID and I always saw it as an endearment, even tho I never thought of using it myself.

Since I am allowed to post anything I want to, I did. Who are you to question my post. No it was not a joke. I do not find it as a term of endearment. Baby, Sweetie, Honey are terms of endearment. Grow up!

Calling a grown man "baby" is grown up? I find that rather infantilismic and a bit sick, and veering on the ownership side far more than calling him "my moroccan" when that's what he likes to be called.



That's what I thought, too!

My husband calls me his private property. And tells me that he owns me. I don't mind it. I actually like it. When is mother was here she told me to take care of my moroccan man. As I see it, he does it out of a sign of affection. My best friend and I have always called our boyfriends who have been from Morocco, "Our Moroccan Men." It's like when I was in high school and I dated a guy who lived out on a farm and participated in Rodeos I called him "My Cowboy." There's nothing wrong with sayign that. It's like saying "My Friend" and I am sure when you say "my friend" you are not saying you own your friend. You get what I'm saying?

Gozee calls me "mraty" or by my name . . . . his friends ask about his "American wife" . I haven't called him "My Egyptian" because I haven't thought of that before (maybe I'll try that one out on him today) . . . . but he doesn't like the typical nicknames for his Arabic name either. I've suggested that he might want to be "Max" when he gets here . . . he rather likes that one, hehe!!

I came to this site for advice on getting MY MOROCCAN, MY LOVE, MY LIFE, MY FUTURE HUSBAND, MY.......or whatever term of endearment I make up and feel like calling him....to the US to be with me. It certainly isn't about ownership. Give me a break and lighten up. Grow up? Who am I to question your post? Who are you to tell me I am wrong for calling my fiance "my moroccan"? It looks like you are the one who needs the growing up to do.................

This is really the end of discussion for me. I'm not here to argue, but for advice, and to have fun. This really is a ridiculous conversation.

I wish you and YOUR fiance good luck.

I agree with you totally. This thread was really obviously a jab at you and the OP is the one who needs to chill. Sorry you had to endure this when all you did was come here for help.

I agree. What about when you refer to your husbands and wives as "my husband" or "my wife"?

My husband, when he signs off on a email or a letter to me, he closes with "my american wife" or "my american love".... I dont feel like my skin is changing green. (looking at my hands now....) Nope, I am certain its not. I think this is one of those personal things huh. I think its cute, 2, as somebody stated previously. I dont feel like my husband owns me, nor does he feel that way when I reply to him as my moroccan love.

But I must say, he does own my heart!

To each his own..........

Limah

To me, at least, the difference between 'my husband' or 'my wife' or 'my friend', and 'my Moroccan/Canadian' or 'my Filipina' is that in some contexts (none of the ones common to women on VJ, really), it sounds like you're more interested in the person's heritage than them. (cf., 'how did you keep your Columbian wife from changing?' 'i hope you like your Russian bride as much as I like mine!')

It's different, I think with women (since there's no mail-order hubby phenomenon), and it doesn't quite register the same way as with some of the guys.

I think whatever couples want to call each other (when they both clearly enjoy it and agree to it) is their own business.

Not everyone may approve, and everyone is certainly free to draw their own private conclusions about it. I've heard some terms of "endearment" that I thought were pretty weird, but I'm not the person in the relationship -- I'm looking at it as an outsider. I'm not the one affected by it. As long as they both accept the terms for themselves, then who am I to make an issue out of it ?

It obviously hit a chord in the OP. And I can appreciate that -- I can very much understand the point she's trying to make. Maybe she's right about the dynamics of race/ethnicity/ownership/etc. in these particular cases. But maybe not.

It's just not our place to apply our own personal values to something like another couple's "terms of endearment." In the end, this subject is between a man and his wife (or a man and his fiancee) -- and it's just no one's business but their own.



-MK

Let someone get upset about this.

I referred to my deceased husband as "my sexy import" and "my sexy Leb" because he was from Lebanon. I'm importing my current husband from Morocco, so he's "my sexy Moroccan import". Half my family is "imported" from somewhere in the ME/NA region, so, for us, it's no biggie and certainly not an insult to refer to a relative by their roots.

I'm a Palestinian on both sides, and I refer to myself as Palestinian, but a few days ago, folks were poppin in here to try to convince me I can't call myself Palestinian and insulting me for not agreeing with them. What the hell business is it of theirs what I call myself? We may be mostly Arab, but we're not all the same and we can acknowledge that with referrals to ethnicity or nationality. Roots are important to us. It's not racist nor does it have anything to do with psychological ownership in a healthy mind.

So, for yourself, or between a couple, what they call themselves or consider to be terms of endearment is up to them, and them alone. They don't need anyone else's approval to use their personal favorites. If you don't like a term, don't use it, but it's up to no one else to say they can't.

every time i say me and my brazilian, it sounds like just got back from getting myself put in severe agony

In the beginning i said it did sound a little like a posession but i just caught myself where i used that same statement. I dont think at the time i meant as a posession was more or less saying in explanation to someone my guy from Morocco i doubt he would have minded, hes proud of where he comes from.

I just talked to my husband and asked him if I could call him "My Egyptian" as I know that he isn't big on nicknames . . . he just started to laugh. Then I explained to him about why I asked and told him that I normally just say "ahmed" or "my husband" or sometimes "hubster" (try explaining that one, hehe). I asked him how he talked about me . . . saying "I hope you don't call me your American Wife" . . . he said he always says "Catherine, my wife".

So I guess we are "plain vanilla" when it comes to names!

CB2

I started a post on my thoughts. It was not a personal attack on anyone on VP. Sorry some of you guys took it that way. I have a right to discuss anything I want on this forum just like everyone else does. My position remains the same. I will never refer to my fiance/ husband/man/ etc. as my Moroccan. Yes I call him baby/darling everyday. If I refer to him by his name-Omar, he thinks something is wrong. He will then ask me why am I calling him Omar, lol.

Exactly, to each his own. Everytime I have posted something on here, mostly people have a way of turning my meaning around and begin with insults. Hilarious. Is it that serious people. Not for me. I simply stated an opinion.

welcome to the mena forum just wait, it gets better.
as wom said, i don't think it's anyone's business what one refers to their so as. i've told nessa she can call me just about anything she wants but late for dinner

Yes, I know we can call our guys whatever we want. It was just a post on my thoughts.

Welcome to the VJ world check back tomorrow same story.

Sounds like the honeymoon, lol. Looks like you be doing double tasks soon with a baby on the way, get that rest!

I just pray that everything will turn out ok. It won't be easy, working, caring for children, a new abby, a new husband, and going through this process. I hope I don't lose it, lol.

Hang tough you'll do fine