I did say I am sorry in advance because it would be hard for someone that is not muslim to understand how it feels. Do you think you are the only person that askes us questions? No I have to hear this crap all day and at some point it becomes annoying. I have to work at the D'awah thing however, I think I made a few points. I see women that wear shorts up there cracks and posses for playboy and then claim that they are Christian. I have studied Hijib thoroughly and from my studies I see that Jewisha nd Christain women are suppose to cover there heads. Now I am not trying to debate because I am not curious or care for that matter about what you guys do. However, think like this. If you where to become a born again Christain and you had a boyfriend do you think you would dump him becuase you are having sex. We have the five pillars of Islam, Pray, Charity, Hajj, Fasting, and Shahada. This is the fondation of being a mulims. To me if you are in to these things and as you profress through them you become more "muslim" I am not sure how to say it.

When you become muslim you take shahada and then you being praying. AS you pray you will being your connection with Allah and you will be able to progress. The key to being muslim IN MY OPINION is the pray. Everything else comes naturally you know, you will start to want to know more and get more into sometimes to fast. Hijib in my opinion is everything concerning a woman. From her head to her toes and it is a form of worship. PLEASE REMEMBER I SAID THAT THIS IS MY OPINION. The way I talk, they way I deal with people, the way I look, the way I care for others and my family, lowering my gaze, overall the way I carry myself.

I must say if you wear a scraf and then you still are flirting and give out "f" me signs, I would say that this is not hijib. I am in the miltary and people ask me why do you not wear the scarf at work. The "SCARF" has turned in to a political symbol. I am not sure how to answer some people on this topic, but I will say that my uniform is that, it has a standard and it is made to be form fitting. So if it is form fitting then there is no way possible that I would be wearing hijib as far as dress, on top of that I would also be drawing attention to myself in an environment which is not structured the same way. However when I am off duty I wear hijib completely and I do not care that much about how they thing of me. But to have a big I am different sign up in the military is not the best thing and in my opinion it would draw a lot of attention. God never told women to place yourself in danger. now if the uniform was more loss fitting like that of the air forces and Army and it is not that big of a distraction then I would wear, but if the uniform is not fit with the scarf I do nto see the point. But I think that my attitude and my behavior "Screams" Muslim. People, the big give away is the pork, because you have to ask everyone that handles food. And the first thing they say is are you muslim. I pray still and I observe ramadan, and I also docorate the office when the EID is in. I have food and also I have some da'wah materials in case someone wants to know. I listen to the Qur'an being recited at work and I also read the Quran because you do not know how much I want to choke folks sometimes and 5 mintues a day does wonders. Also they see come back and forth from work and around the base with it on. Also, I have quran ring tones. So when my phoen rings if you are a muslim you know.

It took me a long time to wear hijib to work and on the base and it also took some time to have the strenght to deal with the staring and the insults. I had some kids today talking loud in the grocery store (militay only) and they where yelling she must be from ASIA. It was cute, I guess that was the nicest things that I have heard.

I am so sorry to move the trend in to a different direction, but I will tell you one thing; folks at work thought that I convert because of my fiance and also they like my interest and study of Arabic is bcause of him. Which is funny because we speak mostly in french to each other and one time someone was like wow you speak arabic. It was funny. I have grown as a person and a muslim and again I am sorry if anyone feels bad about the post. However, I think that sometimes people say things and do not really listen to the question.

Anywho, I still think culture and religion is confused and it goes for the American muslim to. If you ever hear Nasheed you will find that there is Islamic Rap. The way of dress has already been discussed but the best thing is when I wear something and people are like wow i would wear that. The food we eat minus the pork, like greens with turkey necks or pork and beans-minus the pork. Things like this. ONe thing this reminds me of is the buritto or Raggee for me.

I do not know why but I never put these two items in there proper place. In texas we always eat burrittos and reggae i grow up on but I did not know it was from Jamacia, until I was like 22. The buritto things is funny because being from texas you kind of grow up with this competitive attitude towards Hispanics. Even though I would make stupid and believe stupid remarks that now I would never make about Mexica's, my favorite food is Nachos. So go figure.

Alot things that we have in your culture and society has branch off from the midle eastern part of the world. Like some mentioned Egypt, well we can go on forever just on that one. Ok.

I tired to edit my post but it would not let me. I want to remove the food part.

But, One thing I have noticed is that some American muslim believe that marrying a person from a Islamic country will help them Islamically or is better than marrying American. I guess because they grew up in a so called muslim culture and they speak Arabic it is like we think they are better. Has anyone noticed this or is it just me?

Welcome to Vj and to the ME/NA forum... Bonne chance on your visa process!

Private, I can understand every point you made. And I totally agree with you.

As I have on VJ, this MENA forum for a while now, I am really glad to see some independent, intellegent and thinking women. Before, in the past I mostly came across women who just "did what their SO" told them to do, act, talk and behave. I kinda fell into this for a split second, cos I did not want to not fit in with my (ex)husband's family. But this got old pretty quick ... and I thought they could sod off with their idio-mentally deranged thinking. I almost left Islam cos of this, but I thank God I had the right mindframe to keep seeking and to take a rational look at myself, my faith and the world in which I live.

Modesty and moderation is the key in Islam. Muslims are of many and diverse backgrounds. Many faces, man langugaes and as many ways of dressing. Sure many dress in djellabas, but the dress is not limited to that. And not wearing djellaba has nothing to due with one's level of piety either. Just like wering niqaab has nothing to do with it.

Well, where I live I see everything: from young children as young as 3 in full niqaab to women wearing tight skirts, women wearing leggys with short jean mini skirts over them, short sleeve blouses, clingy and see-throu materialed clothing and hijebs... and also matieral that makes all the curves even more visible and hijebs covering only half of the head. No one said it was right, but it is done. I think women who do this, really want to dress this way and only veil cos their families make them. And somehow I think they donnot leave the house in those clothes.

I second that motion.

About 10 yrs back here where I live now Detroit everyone told me that marrying a Arabe from ME was unheard of... arabes only married Arabes. This was somewhat true back then, but nowadays not true at all.
And for those who are thinking was... are, sorry to say backwards and ignorant...I think this thinking has nothing to do with Islam, as Islam allows for men to marry any peoples from the "Books" and reward is gained by showing Islam's message (I did not say convert but show) And there are scholars who say more reward is gained when a husband shows a women(wife) Islam and she converts willingly.
And again sorry to offend but mostly Salafis have this thinking. I am not sure, but I think there are no Salafis or W'habis on this forum.

i understand this but what I am asking I guess is if anyone thought that marrying an Arabic person would make them a better muslim. I have a small-long story. My fiance has a cousin and she married an American, I talked to him about a few thigns and his marriage is on the rocks. We where talking and I was like well I am different because I think that he did not know a lot about her. My fiance and I meet through someone that knew us both, unlike him. We talked for a while and we did not get married on the fist trip. He said that he had been to a muslim country and he thought that he understood the culture too. He said that he wanted an Arabic wife because he wanted his children to grow up learning islam and to learn arbic. He is very disappointed becuase she doe snot wear hijib but she sent him a photo in hijib. She does not speak arabic or teach him arabic but the moroccan dialect. He is p-oed as we say because he is not learning from her like he excepted. The things is he does not even pray so it is funny a thing but it is like he married her thinking he would beocme a better muslim. And I do not know that the Qur'an says it is better to marry a believing slave then one of the women from the different religions although it is still permissable but this is a whole other trend. But serously have you seen this?

Sorry to say but some ME/NA-ers just male chauvanistis jerks. Marrying an Arabe women has nothing to do with raising "good Muslim children" or being a better Muslim.... In fact, I think this person has nothing to say since the fact remains he is not even praying. So...... in my opinion... my reply would be the same for the female who (does not also pray) but asks the question "Is not veiling haraam?".... well, I think since Prayer is the #1 pillar in Islam (marrying Arabes or non-Arabes and veiling or not) is not a pillar... that person's first worry should be the praying...not marrying Arabe or not.
For sure, the female should have been honest that she does not veil or speaks Arabic well. But sorry to more born-into-Muslim-family Muslims gain more from marrying non-Arabe Muslim (or non-Muslim) altogether since most times they are renewing their faith, trying to explain questions that their spouses have. In the end, learning more... and also in my experience converts seek out the real Islam, rather then born-into-Muslim-family Muslims who many times are taught culture not religion.
Sure if this man wants to have his children more Arabe then oppose to marrying a occidental (forienger) woman who will show them other cultures ...then OK... but to say he wants to marry Arabe to ensure his children are Muslims... Thats a load of ****.... We all know many Muslims who cannot speak Arabic, even Arabes who cannot...esp in the NA, where the dialect is much different then the classical Arabe and esp from the fancy Quráni Arabe. Converts are more likely (if they are sincere in their religion) to learn Arabe on their own and run an Islamic home... since they are exposed to Arabe culture from childhood (thinking its Islam)
Going back rereading now I see the man is American, not Arabe... but still he is thinking falsely. The man may marry whom he likes, but to think marrying a Arabe woman would make him a better Muslim and better Muslims children is false. Since as I said more culture is taught then Islam to *many* Arabe people. I know from my husband's family and country... the Islam they were practising had voodoo and pagan elements also intermixed. And many of their beliefs and thinking were based on their culture. And I think esp in NA we can see, or least I have seen in NA that religious and cultural practices/thinking vary city to city. What is Islamically exceptable here in city A is not over there in city B.
This shows a weak and confused charachter, I think of this man. Showing he lacks patience (to show a non-Arabe Islam and the language and/or learn it together) and shows lack of true faith. He seems to want the easy way... to do Islam on a drive-by basis.
If I were this man, I would not look for an Arabe wife (exclusively) but I would look all around... An Arabe cannot gaurantee he will get a good wife, as he found outand first and foremost do salaat-al-istakara. The shortest distance and most easiest course to finding any solution to any question is to put your knees to the ground and ask God. A marriage that is blessed by the God is marriage that can stand up to any adversity.

So Henia I guess you have never seen this. I think to that I thought this way, but now it is like I do no care. I used to be very race aware when it came to who I dealth with. However, I have changed this opinion a lot. I "dated" or was seeking marriage and I thought that the Arab guy would be better, until I realize how much of a snake he was how hontestly not following the rules will really get you hurt. So now with my fiance he is arab however, I was more concerned about his understand of things. Like some muslim men here want a super muslim and they are not all that themselves. I wanted someone that could help me but also that had the same thinking pattern and believed the same things I did. Like music, a lot of muslims say it is haram some say it is okay depending on the school. Well, this may seem minor but this was hard dealing with someone that didn't listen to music. I love music and sometimes it helps express what you can not by saying it. So if I wanted to compare something to Mozart he would look at me like I was stupid. Or a song that I heard, I am a poet and I love poety so rap and hip hop has a lot of it if you really listen. This was kind of hard, I like something and he did not and if he was around he would be unpleasant you know. My fiance when we began to commiunicate I asked him if he listen to music. If he missed salat sometimes and does he make it up. Or does he pray right on the dot. Things likes this I think you should consider.

I did have something amazing happen, I was mistaken several times in Europe by Moroccans as Morccoan. Now is that Me-na or what. I have been traveling this past two months and I was in Europe, I found muslims in Spain and the EID I was in Italy. Spain I found them selling stuff and in Italy I was looking for a mosque to celebrate my day! Well I found them I heard them talk and I knew they where Moroccan by the dialect. I know a few words and I do not know italian so I would say to them in Moroccan. I called my fiance becuase they where so surprised and I was like I found my people. It was a moment and I made some friends. I was talking about Morocco and telling them things about my time and travels and they where telling people that I was from Morocco, I was like no and they said that you do not find a lot of black people that talk about a place and want to move to a different place. It was so funny. They said that it seemed like I had been muslim all my life. It was funny because being muslim in Europe and the military I wore hijib and I wore it off base in the city and people would see a NAVY sweater and a scarf. I know they looked twice, however the undercover muslim where like how do you do it. You must have been born muslims, blah, blah. I went to try and be socailable to this bar with the people that I was with and I know they where very disaapointed becuase I was in hijib at the place. So they never invited me again. (I was glad, they where begging me to come and they claimed I was not being socailable.) And they did not do what they normally do you know. But there where some Moroccans at the bar and they where like are you serious. This Moroccan guy was so surprosed and happy and proud to. It is cool.