I was wondering if anyone has talked to their SO about moving back to their home country in the future. My husband and I have talked about this quite a lot. Now that we went through the whole process of gaining his permanent residence, I am starting to wonder why we went though it when we might be going to live in Morocco. I know that it's good since we can now start saving money and he can get job expeirence. I would just hate to start a family and then when we decide to go to Morocco we have to pick up everything and start all over.

So my questions: Have you and your SO talked about moving to their home country? If so, what was the decision? When would you move? If you chose not to move, what is/are the reason(s)?

It is our dream to build our home in the West Bank and live there in the future. (We may keep residences in both countries, and split our time between.)

But this will likely be quite a few years down the line....



-MK

Our plan is to make some money here and then eventually move back overseas, either to Europe or to Morocco. I should be able to find a job fairly easily with my experience teaching high school math at an international school. They're always desperate for HS math teachers.

Who knows, but we're hoping we can do this within 10 years.

For us we talk and at some time will try to have homes in both places. For now my job and looking over my mom holds me here. Opportunity for both is better here for now.

Said & I talk abt this sometimes. I would love to retire in Morocco, but for now, w/ my American debt - there's no way it'll happen in the next 5-10yrs. I do hope we can visit yearly for a month until then.

Before getting married we talked about moving to Egypt permanently one day. At the time I was in LOVE with Egypt and agreed. Now I'm unsure. I can handle Egypt in small doses. Mohamed asked me last night if I could come for a month or even two weeks just to break up the wait time. I told him, no. He asked if it had to do with staying in Kafr Dawar or with his family. Absolutely not. I love his family. I'm thinking it's not wanting to travel for 20 hrs straight. But I digress...I really don't know if I could handle being away from the familiar for so long. I can do yearly or twice yearly visits but not permanent.

We've talked about it, but right now neither of us want to move to Morocco. I don't think I could move that far away from my family permanently. Another factor, right now, is that I have not been to Morocco and would not agree to move to some place that I could possibly not like. A job in the field I would like to work in would be hard to come by in Morocco (plus, lack of speaking Arabic and French fluently).

We're talking about doing that this year maybe. Neither one of us is especially happy with the American way/pace of life, and on my last visit I saw a way of life in the Moroccan cities which vastly changed my original impression of Moroccan life (as I spent my time in the Peace Corps in more remote villages.) I've already appliced at DOS schools and I've applied at Language Centers as well. I've actually gotten some positive responses (from two schools in Casa), so we may do it as soon as September.

It's less of a possiblilty and more of just a matter of time. And my darija is getting better by listening to his chats with family, although I really wish I didn't give away my EXCELLENT Peace Corps darija handbook!

We are both from the same country, but I still would not want to live there. I wouldnt mind going there for extended visits or vacations. He already has his own house there so it would be easy, but the quality of living and the cost of living combined with the very low wages are some of the things that discourage me from wanting to be there.

Also the fact that less than 6% of the population is Christian and on top of that, only 30% of the population is Jordanian it makes me less inclined to want to go. Although Jordan is quite peaceful, its geographic location is scary. People in Jordan looks for way out of that life, they send their children abroad for college. Given the oppertunities that we have here, I would not think about moving to Jordan at all. I think the best future I could possibly give my family is right here, all around me. However that doesn't mean that they won't know their culture, background, and roots.

Yes we have talked about it and we are making alternative plans. The thing about Morocco is that you need money. I do not want to go there and be poor; so our plans span over a 5 to 6 year period. I have to make sure that I am able to return to the US if I want to. I would love it if he could come to the US and then we can retire in Morocco or Europe.

We are getting ourselves together so that we can make it through the return process. I think that us talking about me moving there has been a good healing factor also. We have started to put in place some measures but the plan will be helpful to us if he was to come here or if I was to go to Morocco.

Maybe someday we will be able to have a home in Morocco where we can stay during vacations but I don't think we'll ever move back there for good.

Janine have you been to Morocco? Some people love it and some people don't think they could ever live there (including myself). I can't wait when you guys go over there and you tell us how you like it.




I think that goes for just about anywhere you want to live however the cost of living in Morocco is muuuch lower than here in the US.

oooh color me jealous

I like the idea to have a place in the states and abroad, but Ryan said no. For me, I would definitely like to visit India a lot more.

We have talked about it, but in reality, mixed ethnic marriages in India are a hassle. We were stared at wherever we went, by people in cars, bullock carts and walking, alike! I lived in India 21 years (mostly in villages), loved it and thought I would never return to USA. Now that I've been back a year, I'm spoiled with the conveniences, efficiency and cleanliness. I would think we'd never live in India, but who knows about the future?

i agreed to move here when my daughters are out of college....which is a way away. i never said what part though and lemme tell ya cairo is not on my top ten list . maybe alexandria but we never made it there so time will tell.

i need a toilet that flushes and a home with heat. we've had to sleep with sweatpants and a heavy sweater and socks on each night and when i go to the bathroom i have to fill a bucket and flush it manually. i don't wanna be doin' that in my 70's.

Your toilet didn't flush either, Doodle?

no the lady who rented this flat for $50/night was a jerk and totally misrepresented the place. no working toiletand cockroaches galore in the kitchenand nofreakin' heat. no good kitchen tools either so when his sisters didn't cook for us in their home we ate out. love koshari though. hahaha.was soooo good. might havesome tonight before i go.

Ahhhh sounds like my home in Kafr Dawar...cold, full of cockroaches and a non flushing toilet.

On a positive note...my inlaws moved into a new flat a couple weeks ago. My MIL's first words were, Kareema would love it here, the toilet flushes.

I am not sure about relocating to my husband's homeland. However, we cannot wait for the day when we can buy a flat to have for us to vacation in (and for his family as well). I do think when we have children (and they are old enough) to send them to Morocco to spend summers with their aunts and uncle would be a great way for them to get to know their family and to experience the culture.

I would live in jordan, i love it there, and would love for my future children to spend every summer there to embrace their culture and to also be with their family whos there....but as for right now, i have an awesome job here, and sofyans doin well, so it wouldnt be any time soon

Othman knows I will never move to Morocco. He knows we will have a better life here and can help his family more by living here. The wages here are so much higher than there. About a week before I left Morocco I was thinking about Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz....Theres no place like home. I absolutely love my country and I will NEVER move away permanently. I lived overseas when I was in the Navy, but I knew it was temporary.
Also, I hate their toilets there and having to carry TP everywhere I went in my purse. I love being able to go to a store here and getting a cold drink and all the other conveniences we have here.
Morocco for me is fine for vacations so we can visit family and sightsee.

LAVON I LOVE AMERICA I LOVE AMERICA I LOVE AMERICA

The wages are higher here but the cost of living is higher here too.

yeah i wanna move back to d philippines, its more fun there and i would have my own personal maids! And i can sit on d beach all day ! HMMM what the HE** am i having my honey come over here! He asked me to stay forever the first time(Philippines) ! oh well maybe I wont come back to the stateswhen I go to get him! Yeah we did talk about saving and going back there he has nice haus there!

But on a Moroccan salary it's hard to take a vacation every year to the U.S. It is easier to take vacations to Morocco on a U.S. salary.

That's very true Jenn.

I can't wait to go on vacation to Morocco and stay in the top hotels and resorts instead of Ibis at Casa Voyageurs. I think I'll have a different perspective and change my opinion of Morocco once we go on a real vacation where we have enough money to spoil ourselves.

I agree with that ^^^^^^^^^^^

I don't think I'll fully appreciate Egypt until I can visit nicer locations (Sharm, Marsa Matruh, Luxor, etc.) and have nicer accomodations.

My feelings about moving back to Jordan are mixed. I LIKE THAT THE USA HAS:

a furnace (not unreliable steam heat). Running HOT water anytime we want. Water that does not need to be bought from jugs from drinking, tap water is good. Where because I am American they think I am rich and will try to cheat me (taxis and small stores).

The hardest thing for me was the language barrier. I am awful at a second language, on top of that I am hard of hearing. So normal every day was harder.

If my husband could not come to the USA I would move there of course.

Our idea is like many others, we would like to have a home here and one there. I promised I would take the kids to Jordan for part of the summer so they could see family ect.



wendy


good topic

Yup I am currently in the process of moving... my husband sold his house... and is signing the rental contract on our new flat (now)....

Honestly, I would love to move to Morocco. I had the best time of my life there. So much is different than here, true. I dont speak a bit of the language and I am probably the worlds pickiest eater, but that aside, I would love it. We have talked about in the future, WAYYY future, if we are stable enough, it would be perfect to have residence in both countries. If we were ever to have children, he would rather they be brought up there with strong Islamic and family values. As for right now, I would just love to be together- anywhere!

Sherrie

we have been battling this decision for months now. i could move there tomorrow and we could be together............
or we could fight....and go through this visa process to get him here months and months (and hopefully not years) down the line. he wants me to move there now and forget this suffering. and let me tell you how tempted i am...but i'm trying to be strong because i believe having him come here is the right thing to do.

i love morocco and have been there several times, for long periods of time, even before i ever met abdelilah. i find their culture fascinating, love the food, and the architecture/decor. i think constantly about if i could LIVE there or not permanently? when i stay with his family i observe their lifestyle and wonder; could i do this? is this life for me? cooking, cleaning, and waiting for my husband to get home from work? having no friends or immediate family anywhere near me. where would i get money to go home to visit my friends and family in the us? what about travel? my 1st love before i met abdelilah was travel...how would i get money to continue my dream of visiting all the countries in the world if i stayed in morocco? its possible, yet highly unlikely i suppose.
i think if we settled in the us we would have so much more freedom to do what we choose. ultimately i would love to have a house in morocco as well to go back and forth. i also loved the idea from a poster above about our children spending part of their summers in morocco to learn more about their culture and spend time with their extended family. inchallah.........

My fiance purcahses my tickets for me and my son and I are going in March and I just left not to long ago. I will say that he has no problem with money. He does not make a lot but he is able to save and he loves to shop. So I have to disagree I know someone that makes about 800 a month, they have a nice expensive condo, a nice brand new car (BMW), a maid, two well keep children and wife and he still travels alot. He does not have to use all of his money. My fiance tells me that if he penny pinches he can save about half of his salary now he saves a thrid. This one thrid grows fast. One thing about Moroccans they do not mind sharing there info. But I will not expose him for now. He helps his family and he told me that he can take care of me and my son. And when we where denied he called several times begging me to move there. He is a little scared to come here, becuase he knows it is different. I make the equivalant of what he makes and I am not able to do as much as him. I know that the maids in Morocco only get paid 60 bucks a month and they have medical benefits but that is all. So if you make about 400 a month this is very good and the 800 like I mention is almost considered rich. If I was not in the military I would run to go a be lazy. But I must say I do not think I could deal with not working for long. I am a little aggresive and it does not go well in that country to have a woman on the move you know?

Hello Janine...and everyone else
Well moving to your SO's country can be a great thing. But reality check: Be prepared. Have money saved (enough to get a home, and be able to live pretty well for at least 2yrs...before having to look for work) Have your own home ( somewhat or far away form the in-laws) Be able to buy or ship a car there. Make sure your SO will be able to get a job there. Check out the local doctors and hospitals. Check out the schools (if you will be taking kids)... and last but very important donnot burn all your bridges here in the USA.
For my and husband< we have talked about living in DZ... both agree it would be a great idea. And for now, it is and will be few months here and few months there. But after our whole process whines down... inchallah I pray we can have a little nest egg put away. We have talked about also living in Europe, since we both have more ties there... We could live in 3 different countries if we wanted to. And more important I could have more work and opportunities in Europe with my degree.

And funny thing in reference to what Private posted. She is right, even in Algerie many people there (esp foreigners I met) have cleaning ladies that come do everything from cleaning, cooking to child care and get paid very little. And I know several women there (foreigners) living the "good life" ( the max of what good life could be in DZ) just cos they donnot have to pay for food or home (as the husbands pay for that... and whatever money they get from the US (mostly investments) they do whatever they want with. Funny thing for me, I could live in DZ like a queen, just from the income I get for rental property I have in Europe, (In the USA equals nothing but in DZ more then any top salary)... So little things like this make me smile and not fear living in DZ or elsewhere.

(FYI: many degrees that were earned in foreign lands are not valid here, and one needs to start their education from point 0 many times to be able to practice in their field. ELHAMDULLAH I have studied for 2 professions... so I saved myself this hassle. But I did know many people were lawyers in their homeland and here in the US cleaning people and working in resturant... and I know each one of them hated it )

That's another reason I wanna go to India more. I wouldn't mind living there in some cases, but Ryan and I have decided to just go there to visit. I do want our kids to know where they are from. I love it in India. I can't wait to go back.

my so and i have def talked about living in israel. i lived there for 6 months last year, and have spent almost a year there total. right now i have another year and a half in grad school, which is why we are applying for the visa. if (heaven forbid) it doesnt work, then off to israel i go.

even if he does come here, weve agreed for it to only be a few years. we both want to raise our kids in israel, where they can truly be jewish.

if only my fiance were from israel instead of morocco......i'd move there and my parents would be so much happier!

We have definitely talked about living in Nepal, but would need to save a lot of money to do so since there are not many jobs available, though I could do a little language teaching here and there. Also, the political situation has been rocky for the last few years, but appears to be stabilizing. At any rate, we will definitely be visiting regularly. I can't wait to go back - Jaya Nepal!

Amr and talk about this quite often. I would move there now no questions asked, Amr however would like to experience the U.S for a few years. I would not want to live in Cairo though, but maybe Alexandria or one of the resorts on the sea.