jdhawaii
Mar 6 2006, 06:02 PM
Ok. my wife and her step son entered the US, about one year ago and 3 months...
she stayed with me for 3 months. 90% of the time we argued about sending money to her brother and sister in the philippines. ( things we discussed befreo getting married) and also i am in the military, and she doesnt want to move around alot, she wants to live near her family in california. we also discussed this before marriage. anyways my friends tell me i was used. no way to know, because i can only say what i know in my heart, not hers.
well its been a year now thats shes been gone. and when i get back from the middle east i will be divorced.
we never filed for AOS. she did file for her EAD. we didnt file together because we didnt have the money for the AOS, and we still had plenty of time. she got her EAD in like 3 months, after she left to califonria.
there is no abuse at all. and we are still on good terms, considering the circumstances.
i did not want divorce, she did. this past december i called her to see how she was, and she told me she met a guy in December. was hurt, but its ok, we have been seperated for a while. funny is i called her with intentions of working things out. i was surprised,because she said she was going to take things slow.
well in jan i called her to get her social, for tax purposes, and she said '' i have something to tell you'' and i said what? you preg?.. she said yeah how did u no. i was like man ur dumb.
anyways we will be divorced as of june. her 2 years is up in Nov.
since she is preg, will that help her to stay in the country? im pretty sure thats why she got preg.
i know most people will say not to worry about it, its her problem. but what can i say... its eating at me.. i am also close to her brother before i even marry her, so it will be in the back of my head.
after i really step back and look at this i cant help to wonder er original intents. i think thats normal.
did she pull a fast one on INS? if so i hope she has to pay alot of lawyer fees =)
also can she remarry a new USC? and apply? or would she have to leave the US and do the whole thing again. i think she thinks she can. also can she get a work visa, even if she was here on a k3 visa.
thanks for any insite
desert_fox
Mar 6 2006, 06:29 PM
QUOTE(jdhawaii @ Mar 6 2006, 06:02 PM)

Ok. my wife and her step son entered the US, about one year ago and 3 months...
she stayed with me for 3 months. 90% of the time we argued about sending money to her brother and sister in the philippines. ( things we discussed befreo getting married) and also i am in the military, and she doesnt want to move around alot, she wants to live near her family in california. we also discussed this before marriage. anyways my friends tell me i was used. no way to know, because i can only say what i know in my heart, not hers.
well its been a year now thats shes been gone. and when i get back from the middle east i will be divorced.
we never filed for AOS. she did file for her EAD. we didnt file together because we didnt have the money for the AOS, and we still had plenty of time. she got her EAD in like 3 months, after she left to califonria.
there is no abuse at all. and we are still on good terms, considering the circumstances.
i did not want divorce, she did. this past december i called her to see how she was, and she told me she met a guy in December. was hurt, but its ok, we have been seperated for a while. funny is i called her with intentions of working things out. i was surprised,because she said she was going to take things slow.
well in jan i called her to get her social, for tax purposes, and she said '' i have something to tell you'' and i said what? you preg?.. she said yeah how did u no. i was like man ur dumb.
anyways we will be divorced as of june. her 2 years is up in Nov.
since she is preg, will that help her to stay in the country? im pretty sure thats why she got preg.
i know most people will say not to worry about it, its her problem. but what can i say... its eating at me.. i am also close to her brother before i even marry her, so it will be in the back of my head.
after i really step back and look at this i cant help to wonder er original intents. i think thats normal.
did she pull a fast one on INS? if so i hope she has to pay alot of lawyer fees =)
also can she remarry a new USC? and apply? or would she have to leave the US and do the whole thing again. i think she thinks she can. also can she get a work visa, even if she was here on a k3 visa.
thanks for any insite
Did you fall off a turnip wagon???
Ya think you were being used???
You dont know her original intent....think some more.
Sorry this happened....but...wake up!!!!
jdhawaii
Mar 6 2006, 06:34 PM
ok one more thing, if you dont have anything to say; that has anything to do with my questions, please dont reply...
im pretty sure i know her intent, but thats besides the point; and it was not my question!
Dixie_Peach
Mar 6 2006, 06:38 PM
hi... so sorry that you are going through this... my heart breaks for you... i don't have any advice... other than to say, maybe you need to speak with an immigration attorney, since you were her sponsor... not exactly sure... anyways... i'm sorry.. and i wish you the best...
dmartmar
Mar 6 2006, 06:54 PM
QUOTE
ok one more thing, if you dont have anything to say; that has anything to do with my questions, please dont reply...
im pretty sure i know her intent, but thats besides the point; and it was not my question!
Deep down inside, you know you were used.
Otherwise, you wouldn't be here asking the types of questions you did in your initial post.
jdhawaii
Mar 6 2006, 07:06 PM
ok dmartmar... what part of the quite did you not understand?
did you answer any of the questions i asked? no you didnt? so why reply? hope everyone is not as smart as you.
i said im pretty sure.. maybe i should have said 99.9% sure.. still though. this is besides the point... im not asking if she used me. read the damn post again... i never asked if i was used.
once again any one?
ok to help you out ... for the ones who cant recognize questions.
will the fact she is pregnant, help her stay in this country
will she be able to marry another guy ( the babies father) and file for AOS
will she have to go back to the philippines to start it over again
can she get a work visa to stay here...
sorry if im fustrated, but i didnt come on here to have people tell me i was used. 99.9 is pretty sure. the 0.1% chance is., maybe in some crazy way she had other intents, but i never asked opinions on that.
thanks in advance to anyone who can be nice and helpful
The pregnancy won't really help her to stay in the US in any direct sense. In an indirect sense it might help her, if the (presumably USC) father of the unborn child wants to marry her and help her adjust her status.
I believe she can adjust status based on marriage to another USC. K-1s are not supposed to be able to but I have never seen anything saying K-3s can't. Even if she cannot adjust without first leaving the US, it's a relatively simple matter for her to return to her home country and have a new petition filed.
As for whether she can switch to a work visa -- yes, if she can get a company to sponsor her. She would have to pick up the work visa outside the US though so she would have to be careful to maintain her legal status here.
I think you have a couple of options. The first is to just let this go and get on with your life. Get the divorce finalized and hope she adjusts with the other guy so you won't be on the hook for your affidavit of support.
The second is to document how she married you just to get a green card, and send the proof to USCIS. If your evidence is good and they believe you, they will order her removal and she won't ever be able to get a GC. If you don't have enough evidence, chances are they will just look on it as the accusations of another disgruntled, jilted spouse. (Not saying that's what you are, I'm just saying a lot of people write in and claim their spouse only married them for a green card when they get divorced. So for your letter to hold any water, you have to provide good evidence.)
jdhawaii
Mar 6 2006, 07:17 PM
Thank you HCJ
yes i know i should just forget about it.
i will look into sending a letter.
as for the affid of support, we did not file the AOS yet, so i havent file the affid of support that goes along with it.
i asume she will get a work visa, since she is an occupational therapist, and her job is in high demand.
not to sound like a dick, but i dont want her in the country. Would her being pregnant constitue a sham marriage? im not sure if it would since it happens alot in USC to USC marriages.
thanks again
QUOTE(hcj @ Mar 6 2006, 04:09 PM)

The pregnancy won't really help her to stay in the US in any direct sense. In an indirect sense it might help her, if the (presumably USC) father of the unborn child wants to marry her and help her adjust her status.
I believe she can adjust status based on marriage to another USC. K-1s are not supposed to be able to but I have never seen anything saying K-3s can't. Even if she cannot adjust without first leaving the US, it's a relatively simple matter for her to return to her home country and have a new petition filed.
Nope. K-3 beneficiary can not adjust status based on marriage except through the original K-3 petitioner.
Accordingly, those adjusting from K-3/K-4
status to permanent resident status may only do so as a result of a
marriage to the original U.S. citizen petitioner who filed a petition
on behalf of the K-3/K-4 nonimmigrants. In addition, they are subject
to the requirement of conditional residency of section 216 of the Act.
QUOTE
As for whether she can switch to a work visa -- yes, if she can get a company to sponsor her. She would have to pick up the work visa outside the US though so she would have to be careful to maintain her legal status here.
K-3 beneficiary can not change status to a different nonimmigrant status without leaving the US.
Therefore, K-3 and K-4 nonimmigrants may
not change to any other nonimmigrant classification. This is comparable
to the prohibition against adjustment of a K to LPR on any basis other
than the marriage on which the K petition was based, as stated in
section 245(d) of the Act.
http://frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/ge...ocid=fr14au01-1To the OP. Your wife is stuck. She can not adjust her status except by remaining married to you. If she wants to become legal, she will have to leave the US, and apply for another visa.
jdhawaii
Mar 6 2006, 07:34 PM
=) thanks
PEGGY
Mar 6 2006, 08:26 PM
Sorry to hear your going thru this.
Do the K-3 have to adjust status as soon as they come to the USA or do they have a certain time frame to do it.
I think your wife is up the creek without a paddle. Sorry , but looks good on someone that uses another person for their own personal gain. She deserves to be sent back.
Also dont listen to some of the rude people on here. They always have to say something mean. I just dont think they know any better
Good luck to you
jasman0717
Mar 6 2006, 08:28 PM
You didn't file the AOS so she is out of status then, am I correct? Remember you are still obligated to be financially responsible for her!
Sofargone
Mar 6 2006, 10:26 PM
If I were in your shoes I would drop the hammer on your scammer of a pinay wife. What she has done is a classic example of why it is so damn hard for those in legitimate relationships to get there loved ones to the USA.
You have many options on the table and you better cover your ### because like it or not YOU are the one who is legally liable for her at this point in time.
The best advice I could give you would be to visit
http://forums.delphiforums.com/ASAWAflames/start and make your situation known. You better be prepared for the backlash though but you will find the best no bullsh*t advice on this matter.
It is a forum for those of us marrried to pinays and I cant stress enough you wont find any better advice on how to deal with this matter. JackBoto and Hayes McDole are a few who can advise as well as others.
Sorry to hear of the situation but if you just dick around you will be sorry and will only have yourself to blame.
Hope to see you there !
Sofargone
QUOTE(jasman0717 @ Mar 6 2006, 08:28 PM)

You didn't file the AOS so she is out of status then, am I correct? Remember you are still obligated to be financially responsible for her!
Unlike K-1s, K-3 visa holders are not obligated to adjust status at all. She is not out of status until her visa expires. K-3s are good for two years.
Not sure if the OP had to file I-134 or the stricter I-864 affidavit for his wife to get the K-3. If I-134, it is not nearly as "enforceable" as the I-864.
dmartmar
Mar 7 2006, 02:01 AM
Believe it or not, I went through your exact same situation with my immigrant ex-wife, although in the end I was able to come out on top.
So if you want to stop scammers like your wife from getting away with murder, intently follow my advice. But if you've moved on and could care less, then read no further.
And if you have any specific questions about anything, please feel free to PM me.
1) Instead of you being the one seeking the divorce, let her or her new hubby do it. Then you can sue. Consult both a Family and Immigration Law atty. right away and explain your situation. Also explain the situation to the 'CIS by setting up an Infopass appointment with them asap. But you'd have to stay separated for 2 years so her visa expires before divorcing.
At this point she can only adjust through her new hubby via marriage, but to do this she will have to present your divorce decree. You initiating divorce proceedings will greatly strenghten any and all claims of her marriage to you being truly "bona fide," thus increasing her chances of approval. In other words, it makes her look good and you like the bad guy. She'll claim she never wanted to divorce you and attempted all ways possible to salvage the marriage by going to counseling, therapists, etc., but that still you wanted the divorce anyway.
Her initiating divorce proceedings will instead make her look bad and greatly decrease any chances of approval, since it would refute any claim she makes she married you in good faith.
2) Send a certified letter to the 'CIS office processing your case asap requesting them to withdraw any and all paperwork related to her by alleging marriage fraud as the reason for your request. Include as much evidence as possible such as e-mails, testimonies, pictures, etc. to back up and/or substantiate your fraud allegation. Include a timelime of the events, as well as her A# and SS#, DOB, full name, country of birth, application number(s), etc.
3) NEVER tell her you did, are doing or will do any of the above. Don't tell anyone else either. Don't tell her you changed your mind and will not divorce either. In fact, stop all forms of communication with her as of now, which she could later use by claiming you stalk and harrass her. Instead have your atty. talk to her.
3) At some point and time she'll run out of patience and start suspecting your intentions, in which case she'll start divorce proceedings herself and/or claim domestic violence in order to use the VAWA waiver against you. Be ready to defend yourself if she goes this route.
4. Hopefully, by the time 3 occurs, her petition will be withdrawn already, in which case a letter ordering her to depart will be mailed. If this happens, not even the baby will help her stay. She will be right away out of status (illegal).
dmartmar
Mar 7 2006, 02:32 AM
QUOTE
If she wants to become legal, she will have to leave the US, and apply for another visa.
Will his marriage fraud allegation leading up to having his petition withdrawn in any way be taken into consideration if she attempts to come back on another visa from her home country, after leaving?
rahma
Mar 7 2006, 08:33 AM
I don't have anything useful to add, just wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear about all the trouble you've been in. Thank you for your service to our country.
portsaid
Mar 7 2006, 03:11 PM
I will tell you what I did, but my ex came on a K-1. I filed for divorce and since his AOS was still pending, I made an InfoPass appointment and went to the office where the interview would take place. I took a letter, which I had previoulsy mailed infoming USCIS of the divorce and told them I wanted to report marriage fraud. I had prepared a detailed log of dates and events just in case I got nervous and couldn't remember. I spoke to an Immigration Officer and an ICE agent in the same day. I had copies of previous USCIS correspondence, such as I-129f, I-485, EAD, his passport, social security card, our marriage license and a letter from the post office for his change of address. Since the I-485 was still pending, they had me write a letter stating I wished to withdraw my affidavit of support. They were so nice to me, much more so than I expected. After receiving the final divorce decree, I returned to provide a copy of that. Again they were very nice to me and this time the woman at the window told me she was going to let me talk to the Officer in Charge. He too was very nice, he told me that since I had withdrawn my support of my ex-husband's petition it was now between him and them and he could not tell me anything further about the case, but he did say he was going to request his file from Vermont and they would make a decision on his AOS case. After that, I went online to check the status and there was a message saying last written correspondence was returned by the post office as undeliverable. I guess that means he never updated his address with USCIS.
Now, I know you didn't ask for this, but please try to read what I'm about to say with an open mind. What my ex husband did to me was terrible. I loved him with all my heart, in some ways still do and probably always will. It hurts more than anyone could ever imagine to find out you've been used by someone you loved enough to marry. If you are like me, you could easily let this consume you. Your emotions may range from deep sadness to bitter anger. Try to do whatever you need to do to get over her. I don't know what that is, everybody is different. You didn't do anything wrong and don't beat yourself up for not seeing some sign that everybody will point out to you. Remeber love is blind. You loved her and you shouldn't blame yourself for being human.
I think her immigration process will be difficult since you never filed for AOS, she will have to explain herself to USCIS in terms of her failed marriage with you and any other future marriages she enters. I don't know if you are the father of her child, but I'm assuming you're not and that might be best so you can really separate from her.
I wish you well. If you want to ask me additional questions, feel free to PM me.
PEGGY
Mar 8 2006, 12:01 AM
Wow. What great advice from dmartmar and portsaid.
denali_1963
Mar 8 2006, 12:28 AM
i was gonna say the same thing dmartmar seems to have the best advice yet. I would follow that and also check with your lawyer.
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