(I don't want to give too many details)

So... a female friend of mine married a man from another country about 2 years ago, the paperwork is being held up and she had to re-do it. During this time she had an affair and has gotten pregnant (with the other man, not the husband)... She does not want to get an abortion..

She has told him about it and he's obviously upset but still wants to come here and make it work...

Would the pregnancy be a problem? Would it make it more difficult to get him over here? Would they even have to tell anyone? Is it something that the gov/ins/whatever would even find out about if no one said anything? Would they have to say that it's his child/leave the birth certificate blank/put the real fathers name on it? Would it cause any problems later on when he tries to get is SS card?

I don't know, she feels terrible and I'm just trying to get some info to help her, and him out.

thank you.

(p.s. I know what she did was horrible, she knows, I just need info here for them)

Your friend's husband needs professional help because he's crazy if he stays with her.

thanks...

I really don't think the INS is going to ask about baby origins. I have never heard of them running a DNA test. I don't see where the father of somebodies baby is any of their business.

I agree that there are a lot of trust issues in the future for this relationship but that is not the question that you asked.

I certainly hope the best for this couple. They have a very rocky beginning to a relationship that is intended to be lifelong.

I can't believe you came on here and asked about this. This situation is straight scandalous. And it is one thing to know your spouse cheated but what they are wanting will not end well at all.

Let's see, the baby was conceived during an affair, you don't think that USCIS won't have questions when they see that the baby's father's name on the birth certificate is not the same as the non-USC? Because they will think it's kinda weird if the baby isn't "used" (I use the term loosely here) as a means of "proving" a legitimate ongoing relationship.

Perhaps you are confused. It is the American that got pregnant. There is no reason why the USCIS would need to see the BC of the child of an American citizen. There are no K2 issues.
I am the American in our marriage and I never had to present birth certificates for my children. As far as I am concerned the origin of my children is no business of the USCIS. Evidently they feel the same way or they would have asked for them.

jaybeezi,

Um, well he11 ya it is a problem. What self respecting person would want to continue a relationship with someone like that?

Who cares about the other crap. The beneficiary needs to get a grip and move on.

I agree with all the moral issues raised so far, but the OP didn't ask that question either. Also agree that if it's the USC that's pregnant, USCIS will likely never know if it's the immigrant's child (on a visit, etc.) or someone else's. I didn't need to offer up my son's birth cert to anyone during the process either. (that I can recall now! it's been a while...wouldn't have mattered anyway, since he's 13.) Anyway, long sentence shorter, I don't think it will make a blind bit of difference as far as this process goes. The biggest roadblock I can see at all, is if they *do* for some reason ask if you are expecting/ have had a baby together. The only reason I could see them doing this is that they would *assume* the child *is* theirs together, and it might serve then, in their eyes, to further legitimize the relationship for approval. If they answered no, this child is not ours (together) it might cause some serious doubts...I don't know what all they ask and how they think at USCIS. All of this is just speculation on my part. Good luck to them...it is a VERY rocky start, and not something I think I could follow through with (if I were the immigrant) but I acknowledge that I should probably follow my own line of thought above and not comment further on that aspect. Whatever works for them, works for them. M.

The pregnancy is of little significance in terms of their immigration issue. The immigration issue that I'd be focused on is what 'hold up" required that the USC petitioner have to re-do the petition.

Cassie,

You seem to be making an assumption as to who the woman will identify as the father.

I would be interesting to see what will happen at the consulate if they become aware of the child and it should appear that the visa applicant cannot be the father.

Yodrak

William,

A person whose primary objective is immigrating to the USA?

Yodrak

Ya, he's either crazy or just wants a green card so he doesn't care who is wife has been playing "hide the salami" with.

Hmmm. Yodrak, being Frank, eh
Well they are married, and in addition to all of the lingo that goes along with the commitment, perhaps the husband believes that forgiveness is part of it.

I saw this yesterday and was going to aske the country of the Husband, seems the most logical answer.

Forgiveness yes, but there are limits and she clearly has crossed the line.

I don't see where the OP asked for advice on the morality of the situation. Seems clear that he knows it was wrong, but he is wondering about the immigration impacts for his friend.

Curious. What line? The line she crossed was that she was impregnated by another man. It can happen on a first encounter (though, I tend to believe that might not be the case). The husband was in another country for a period of 2 years, the wife fell victim to the separation or the flesh, so the husband might have forgiven her for that. The OPs post says nothing about a continued liaison.

Ummm....exactly.

She didn't fall victim to anything, she simply didn't keep her wedding vows. If the husband doesn't intend to continue the liason, then he's just using the marriage to get into the US?

diadromous mermaid,

Being a dutiful consular officer. Perhaps the husband does believe that forgiveness is part of his commitment as a husband. Perhaps not. It's a visa application issue to determine which.

Remind me - who's Frank?

Yodrak



garya,

Your line, maybe. Not everyone draws their line at the same place.

Yodrak

The continued liaison I referred to was not in terms of the husband....but one with the donor!

Frank is the dutiful consular officer
Notwithstanding, the issue of the visa application and the delay interests me. Or, rather, I should say, the reason that a new application was necessary.

Hmmm, I think there could be more to this story than the OP gave us.

That was the point I was attempting to make earlier, thank you Yodrak. What if the conception date is during an "impossible" time -- ie. when the non-USC was nowhere near the USC?

One: I was perfectly aware of whom was pregnant, but thanks for clearing that up for me.

two: my simple point is this, that was aptly summarized by Yodrak....if the consulate should get wind of this, and notice that some dates may or may not jive, then Lucy, you have some 'splaining to do!

Perhaps, but being a devil's advocate once more , it does not necessarily mean failure either. It would depend wholly upon the ability of the couple to demonstrate that the intent of the marriage was not solely for immigration benefit on the part of both or, more importantly, the alien. I could think of a number of explanations for a pregnancy with a husband not being the biological seed. His seed may be impotent, for example, but it would rest then upon the evidence they have to show that their marriage was sustaining and bona fide. Naturally, absence of such evidence would make the issue over the pregnancy a more difficult hurdle to overcome.

Once a cheater always a cheater plus the guy could be liable for child support in the future

garya,

There always is more. No poster ever gives the full story - time, space, and understanding of what might or might not be important always prevents that.

Yodrak

Cassie,

Actually, from the consulate's perspective, it's the visa applicant husband who will have some explaining to do:
- does he know about the situation,
- does he want to continue with the immigration process given the situation, and
- if so what is the real underlying reason that he wants of continue the immigration process.

Yodrak

Do we really think that the consulate in whatever country this K3 is being filed in has access to American gossip? I really don't see how the USCIS would even have a clue about this whole soap opera unless she sat next to him pregant and told the truth at the interview.
I have the same doubts and moral issues as everybody else about this post. I just don't see where the problems this couple has will come from USCIS.
Surely we will all agree that the answer to the original question the OP asked would be "no problem".

I don't think that they should mention the parentage of the child unless it comes up. At that time, they should be truthful. I don't see how this specifically could be seen as the husband simply wanting a green card.

Well, if they ask and are told the truth, I think they might be just a little suspicious of the situation. I mean, most guys aren't really OK with their wife getting impregnated by another man, are they?

indeed there is! The OP is the the foreign husband! Not a concerned friend. gimme a break sheeez.

and

it was professor plum in the kitchen with the wrench

I'm sure that most (if not all) guys in this situation aren't OK with it at ALL. Be tough to make the relationship work, unless he is capable of letting it go. But anyways, I'm sure there are lots of men in the same situation who would stay with their wife. I'm sure there are lots of women that find out their husband fathered another woman's child and stay with him too.

*Definitely* not saying or implying that this man just wants a Green Card, but that's just the reason it could be seen that way by USCIS if they did find out somehow...what Gary said. I don't think *most* people, especially men/women who are moving country and giving up their whole lives to move to the US for the sole purpose of a relationship would even consider doing that for a relationship that started this way. Again, I retiterate, most, and we clearly don't know all the extenuating circumstances. M.

That's my guess too.

And if they've applied for K3, and assuming the CO doesn't ask whether the USC has any children and their ages (very common question from what I've read), what about at a possible AOS interview?

And family photos... what are they going to do, leave the child out of them until they have the greencard in hand? Not submit any? Lie about the child's very existence, if asked?

Given the very limited information provided by the OP, I think it would be wise not to try to hide the situation, and to prepare the non-USC husband for the grilling he is likely to get at the consulate. And tons of evidence of the validity of the relationship. It may help to have the USC wife write something incredibly remorseful for the CO to read. And be prepared to submit as evidence anything indicating the distraught hand-wringing, lengthy explaining, and begging for forgiveness that must surely have accompanied this whole situation.

I think it is better to prepare to go through this than try to go around. I think a CO who "discovers" this situation through questioning will be much more suspicious than one who has to evaluate a forthright, heartfelt explanation by the husband, preferably in decent english.

I think this couple should be prepared to answer questions about this, both at the consular level (DOS) and the AOS interview, if they have one (USCIS).

Best wishes,

Maya

It is obvious that the beneficiary just wants to immigrate, that's why he plays the upset but still wants to make it work.
If this issue came out between a couple with no immigration situation, the husband under no circumstances would accept or try to make things work. It also true that when someone ask a question about a friend, they are talking about themselves hidding behind the "friend" problem.

Are you really suggesting that a United States citizen should write a letter of apology to the government (USCIS) for having an affair? I have never seen this in the guidelines or read a single post where this was given as advice.
Have you seen a case like this where somebody didn't get a visa because they didn't serve up a confession to the government?

The husband would come to the US with a K-3 visa. The Embassy will find out there is a baby. This is why:
- USC has to send tax returns (as a sponsor) and the baby will appear there.
- USC and hubby have to file biographic information forms (dont remember the number), where you list all your children and their date of birth.
- Hubby has to show his passport and list his entries to the US (if he has). If he has never come to the US, they will ask when (how many time) the USC has visited his country (easy to do the math).
- They will ask the hubby is he or the USC have any children (plan to lie?).

If he actually come to US, the couple will have an AOS interview. The NOA asks you to bring the birth certificates of all children. Again you will have to bring tax returns.

Can the USC put a different name on the birth certificate? The real father may cause problems about this (now or in the future) and he can even sue.

If the USC or the hubby lie, and INS finds out (very likely), it will be considered FRAUD and he will be deported with no possibility of coming back to the US.

The girl is pregnant. That would mean the baby would not show up on tax returns until 2006, or probably even 2007. That means there will be no problem with the UCIS until around 2007 or 2008. They will use 2005 tax returns for quite some time. I don't think dependent names or ages show up on tax transcripts. Somebody can check that if they like.

The G325A biographical information worksheet has no space for unborn children. The American only has to file this one time with the application unless something has changed.

We had our AOS interview in July. At that time there was no requirement to bring the birth certificates of my American children. This must be a new rule.

.
I am the American in our marriage and I never had to present birth certificates for my children. As far as I am concerned the origin of my children is no business of the USCIS. Evidently they feel the same way or they would have asked for them.

[/quote]

your kids have been conceived in another relationship, not in an immigration situation; they might ask who's baby is in the relationship departement of questions, and/or if they know it's not his, they might ask the context....But, in the end, if the couple is strong enough to defend their point that it has been their, or his decision to accept the child, can help. That is nobodies decision but only the couple's agreement. The argument can be that the distance can bring people to make irrational actions...it's human to make errors, and adult to repair them, so that to speak that the relationship has to be refreshed...and of course, understand why did it happen...
Note: when I used "might"...it's only my opinion and not any experience with the uscis...Good luck and especially thinking to the welbeing of the child from now on...!!!

How come you know everything??

1. People have children whose other parent is not their spouse all the time (go look at some stats).
2. People SEPARTE from spouses and date and sometimes have children with other people and then get back together with their spouse.
3. I doubt this will seriously affect this couple. They need to prove their relationship baby or no baby, whoever the father of the child may be.

Morality or immorality appart the OP wanted to know if this would hurt the process, apparently, not, since it's the USC who's pregnant, but there's a chance it could come up in an interview or some future form, and it could be frowned upon. The people involved should be aware of that whatever their decision is. Btw, the OP didn't ask our opinion about the fact the woman is pregnant of somebody else, so it's not in our interest to judge them for it. Whether he wants to come for the green card or 'cus he loves and forgives his wife for what was done, it's their problem, although if the first one is true, then we shouldn't give advice as we don't condone visa fraud in this forum.