Do you know, I really think that the language barrier helps our relationship. It encourages us to assume that we misunderstood if one of us says something that's upsetting to the other. We have to ask, "Are you sure you meant that?" And of course, we usually didn't.

We were definitely living out of the English-Bulgarian dictionary at the beginning of our relationship and then somehow the language teetered into English - his English is now terrific, and my Bulgarian is still pretty feeble. I keep trying to get him to speak Bulgarian with me at home, but we just keep slipping back into English. And we're living in Bulgaria right now!

For those of you who were able to switch languages at home, I'd love any tips on how to stick with the "new" language.

Yea, I think about this. My fiance is moving to the U.S. next month indefinetly and it's a given that he will learn English. I wonder how long we will continue to speak Portuguese for (even when he learns English) or will it always be that way?
We want our children - in the future - to be bilingual.

We almost always speak her native Portuguese. No, I dont always understand her when we argue caus she talks so damm fast. She is on her second semester of ESL classes and she is improving slowly. She is now using more english words but not complete sentences. Her two sons are learning english fast and I can talk to them almost fully in english, especially the youngest.

I have to catch myself and stop. I am so used to speaking Portuguese which I love but it is not helping her. So lately, I stop and talk to her only in english.

Oh BTW, when one person talks spanish, she can understand almost perfectly but if someone has a slightly different dialect, she finds that person very hard to understand and unclear. I find that interesting.

I intend to work with my fiance at home to learn English such as you do Isleta. Your story sounds like mine will be (without the children). He'll be starting ESOL classes as soon as he gets here and I believe his eagerness and hardworking will help him greatly.
My friends are looking forward to helping him learn English as well.
Now I wonder - who will he understand better - Puerto Ricans or Mexicans?
I think that understanding Spanish will not only help him a lot (I live in Central Florida - he'll be surrounded by the language) but will make him feel more comfortable.

Isleta, I feel the same way! I can understand clear spanish from CNN or an argentinian speaking, but here in PR I can't understand a single word! And Luis won't speak Spanish to me, he'll only use English. It's driving me crazy that I am here for 4 months and my spanish hasn't improved at all!

My gal speaks Kimeru (her mother (and father) tongue), Kikuyu, Kiswahili, Sheng (an urban dialect of Swahili with a good amount of borrowing from English), and English. She also understands other dialects of Kimeru, Kiembu, Kitharaka, Kichuka, and a bit of Kikamba. I think it's really great that she's so multilingual, but at the same time it annoys me. The reason is that I'm a linguist--I'll have my Ph.D. in a few months--and I spend about 16 hours a day thinking about language, while writing my dissertation on dialects of Kiluhya (a Bantu language of Kenya). I spent something like 9 years studying French formally, and I lived in France for 10 months, and I'm certain that Jacinta speaks all of the languages I listed above better than I speak French. Or Spanish or Italian or Kiswahili or Kiluhya, all of which I have some proficiency in. And she didn't even have to try, while I've dedicated my adult life to this stuff! The ability that kids have to learn languages and I mean many languages, effortlessly and without formal instruction, is really a miracle, and mindboggling if you think about it. And I have. I just don't know what to do when we have kids. It would really be a tragedy if they grow up speaking only English. They at least have to learn Swahili, but I'd really like them to learn Kimeru, too, but there's almost no chance unless they grow in Meru, Kenya. Unlikely. Not only am I taking away half of my kids' melanin, I'm taking away most of their languages too!

English. Hubby doesn't know my language, daughter forgot , so English.