I want some advice.I got the visa,now all i have to do is jump in a plane and fly to my fiance.I was very happy,but now i'm worried because he said that when i will arrive at the airport he will be at work,so i have to wait for him for a few hours there (after at least 15 hrs of travel! ) or take a "shuttle" to his home (he said this is some kind of bus...).Now i'm really worried and anxious.Later he said that he will make all that it's possible to wait for me at the airport,but anyway,how could he say what he said?We haven't seen each other for 6 months,all that time i waited to see him again;i never traveled that far,never been to US.He is the only one i know there.I'm really scared because the only person i know there is about tot treat me like this and thinks that is normal (for me to arrive for the first in US to move to him,to be with him and instead of been waited by him ,take a "shuttle").Is that something i should be worried about?All he has to do is take 1/2 day off at his job,instead he is able to choose to increase my disconfort about this long travel.Please tell me that this is not a red flag.

I don't think anyone here will be able to tell you whether that is a "red flag" or not. I would say that most of us met our SO or had our SO meet us upon our arrival. But I have no idea what line of work your fiance is in and whether or not it is reasonable to say that he absolutely can't be there for your arrival.

The way I see it, you have two options: give him an ultimatum and say that you won't be coming at all unless he meets you at the airport (probably not the best idea), or suck it up and take the shuttle and hope for the best.

Good luck to you!

Probably depends on what coutry you are from, if you speak english and what is job is. I know that my fiance was coming in from Russia spoke no englsh, or very little. i was going to go to NYC to meet her and then we would fly together to Fla. She said no "not a baby" I can get there.

Any way a shuttle is nothing more than a shared taxi van. You walk out to where the sign says shuttle, give the woman at the booth the addressyou wish to go to. She says wait for number ___. You get in tell the driver the address and he drops you off at the front door.

He works in IT,a day off is not a problem.I speak english pretty well (i think) and i think i'm able to get to his house by myself,if i really want to.But i think it's weird and unusual not to wait for me at the airport.

I would be upset too. Unless he really has a problem at work and can't get off. Did you ask him to please take off and meet you at the airport ? Communicate more about this issue. Tell
him you really feel uncomfortable about this.

I would never have made Sian wait at the airport... I took off of work each time she flew over here.

Hi desiree,
YOu said that its been 6 months since you havent seen each other. so, if that long months he must be excited to see you and wait for you at the airport and take you to your new home. Welcome you with warms and great hugs and familiar with your new place, home and neigbhor. I hope you will not get mad if I say that he is not that interested if you will come or not, because if a guy really in love with you, YOU are his number one priority and not his work or other things. Work can leave behind, but your safety is very important. He must spend his whole day to you or probably more than 2 days with you and make you feel welcome and loved. I think, it is not the proper way to treat his fiancee and it is being rude. sorry for my words. Take care!

I would tell him I would fill comfortable if he picked me up. If he refuses to take off or offer another date that is more convienent for you to arrive. I would think that was shady.

It does sound very odd... maybe if your flight had been booked and then he'd suddenly found out for whatever reason that there was absolutely no way he could take the time off without losing his job, or something... but if that were the case, surely he would apologise profusely and explain this to you. Oh, and send a cab or even better, a friend or family member to pick you up.

But just telling you to make your own way via airport shuttle... hrmm. I agree - that just doesn't sound quite right. It's not a question of whether or not you speak english or have been to the US - you are his fiancee, finally arriving in the US to be with him - I can't imagine why he wouldn't want to be waiting there for you!

I'd ask him to give more explanation as to why he's not going to be there...

I think it's OK now.I talked to him and he said that he or at least his parents will wait for me at the airport.

Great. I think that will be best. Have a safe journey!

You're all so cynical...

Perhaps he's really an old romantic who just wants to give her a huge surprise!??? (trying to think the best and not the worst!)

Well, Im happy for that!
Have a safe flight then

I wouldn't use the word 'cynical' but I would use the word 'realistic'. Sorry, but I couldn't even conceive of not being there when David arrived, nor would I send another family member in my place. We talked about the best time to schedule his arrival so that time away from work was minimized (we wanted to save my time off for the wedding....). I would personally not settle for anything less than him being first priority on the day of our reunion and I made sure my schedule was evidence of that.

OP - red flag or not, you should be able to tell pretty quickly whether you will be a priority in his life. I hope you are.

Jen

Thank you for your answers,but the case is closed now.I think everything will be fine.

desiree,

I think so too - and I'm a rather insensitive person. I guess I'm not as bad as I thought I was.

Yodrak

You say its all sorted.... I hope so... I would hate to think of anyone arriving here on their own and having to find their own way to their new home....

Good Luck

Kez

Good you don't have to make your way on your own.

Did it ever occurr to you or the rest of the posters he may be setting you up for a surprise? I personally would not want my fiancee arriving and trying to navigate her way to my house alone in a foreign country. I do not even ask my relatives visiting me to do that. Maybe this is a test to see if you can function on your own or if you will need constant supervision. I for one know my fiancee would be pissed if I told her to find her way to my house alone... I miss my fiancee and will be there hell or high water. Ken

If that's not a joke or suprise it's indeed very strange. If he couldn't get off work at all he should say so, make her know he really wanted to be there but he could loose his job over this or something like that. She says it's all ok now but I'd be on my toes after this.

Me too... there are plenty of things you can do to surprise your beloved and make 'em smile, but "haaaahhhh!! fooled you!!! I wasn't really going to make you get the bus - I'm here!!" doesn't seem like the best kind of practical joke. It did cross my mind, but I thought "nah... after being apart that long, surely he'd just be desperate to get her there, not to pull some insensitive prank...". But maybe that's just me. I hope it all goes (or went) okay - if it was meant to be a joke I suspect he cottoned on that she wouldn't be laughing! (Tsk... boys are rubbish!! )

I know you said the case was closed and you are fine with things.

Still..............................I have to say and admit I could NEVER imagine not finding some way , after 6 months (yeesh!!...that is a Looooooooong time).......to work something out with my job, to be able to be there in person after so long. I mean....after being separated for just a few months (in my case...we are already married)......when my wife comes to visit me, that is all I am thinking about for days/weeks/months...until she arrives again.

I get to work 5 days a week every morning at 7:30...often don't leave until 5-6. Even so.......there is ALWAYS some way for me to work it out to be there when my wife arrives at the airport. There are so many options I would consider to be there for her. I could 1) take the day off 2) Take 1/2 or some part of it off 3) Arrange the flight so that it arrives when I am off of work 4) Arrange the flight so that it arrives on a day when I am off (like the weekend).

I would imagine he's had enough notice ahead of time to make plans........so....hard for me to see how he couldn't find a way to make it. I mean.....6 months!

Anyways.........just thought I'd add my point of view , even though you are fine with things now.

I think your spouse's thinking and my thinking are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

Good luck, regardless.

Just remember...YOU decide how you will be treated. I certainly wish you the very best.

Ask him to work Saturday to make up the half day or fly in on weekend / evening arrival if you havnt made arrangements yet. The job is important yes but hope he's more committed to you than to his job. I take off of work just to pick up USA friends at the airport .

BTW, congrats on your success and upcoming trip !!

HA if my boyfriend "tested" me in the way you described, it would be so over. If he has filed a fiance visa, he better not be feeling like he needs to "test" her. This guy has his priorities out of order, no matter what.

Unless his boss said if he missed one more hour of work he was fired, and this is the only flight from her location each day...dunno looking for the brighter answer here...

Boyfriend, Alex?

Are you in the wrong forum?

LOL, I mean fiancé. Excuse me.

My fiance never let me travel alone to the city. Either we bribe my sister or friends to go with me or don't go at all, these are my only choices. Traveling to US alone without him to pick me up at the airport? That's a big NO, NO! Either he picked me up here in the Philippines so we could go home together OR have him travel 28 hours and be with me till I get to US!

Mae