Just curious... Who is the boss in your relationship?

I think we make most bigger decisions together, so neither of us is the boss per se, but I think we both have areas where we tend to take the lead. I am usually more organized than he is, so I tend to take charge of anything that requires a lot of details or remembering/keeping track of many things or maintaining things (feeding pets, watering plants). He is A LOT better with money than I am, though, and he often has to reign in my spending and remind me that $10 organic strawberries probably aren't necessary (but really good though, I might add). He's also more practical than I am in other ways and he helps me stay focused (I'm a Pisces -- I could easily drift off into a world of my own imagination).

Also, he controls the TV completely. He came to the US and I handed over the remote. Lucky for me, he usually chooses good shows

Mohammed is the boss and wears the trousers.

Jackie

Is he reading this? hahaha

Good one Sarah!
Well I think my husband and I are still in the early stages, deciding and doing things together. But it looks like I will be taking care of the details, which he seems to be more then happy to let me do. We kinda "feel" each other... I suggest something, and he goes along with it (probably 97% of the time)...

Good one Sarah!
Well I think my husband and I are still in the early stages, deciding and doing things together. We kinda "feel" each other out... I feel we fit together like a puzzle, filling in each other's weaknesses. I let him play the chivalrous macho man in public, but in private I gladly would take over alot of the details and decision-making, while he breathes a sigh of relief. I suggest something, and he goes along with it (probably 97% of the time)... But he does control the TV remote ... and I have bend to his dislike of my wardrobe choices. Well we will see... still new at this! LOL

Amed and I normally compromise. If one of us is really insistent upon something, the other one will usually give in. We do have some bull-headed moments, though. We're both super stubborn.

No, he don't read VJ. He thinks we are a silly bunch of women. (sorry Charles!)

Seriously, what he says goes. He's the man. I'm the woman. Works out well that way. Can't imagine the chaos that would insue if we both tried to be the man, or worse yet, if we both tried to be the woman!

Jackie

I think we still somewhat make the decisions together. Sometimes, I'll admit to being a bit pushy about some things though. But we both wear trousers. I hate skirts.

We ARE but some of more silly than others

Uh-oh Jackie- don't open that topic again! Oh well maybe my hijab comment in the other distract everyone from this one

MPB, what topic? I thought I was staying on topic. I tried, really I did!

Jackie

neither one of us...GOD is the BOSS.

Remember the most innocent post on VJ can sometimes take on a life of its own

Actually... I change my answer... kind of. I was thinking about it and really when it comes down to it, I am more of "the boss" than he is. I'm pretty easy-going and low-maintanence, but he's SUPER easy-going and laid back and not fussy at all so usually I insist on things being a certain way more often than he does.

I'd say it's still pretty even-handed. Neither of us "bosses" the other around.

He does

I'd say ''We are still in the fun stage and make decisions together.'' but I bet he'll vote ''I do, of course...but donnot tell her/him that.''

We make most of the decisions together. But he is technically the "head of the household". I like it that way. If it's something I am not sure about, I leave it up to him. But neither of us have ever made a decision that was totally opposed by the other person.

Trousers??? Aren't they called "pants" in America?

And the U.S. expression is "wear the pants", not "wear the trousers".

I had absolutely no idea what this poll was asking!

It's Fashion 101. I prefer a wide leg pant with a short heel shoe.

Jackie

I think technically women wear pants and men wear trousers.

But I have never used the word "trousers" in my life, except just now in this post.

Mawilson -- have you ever heard anyone from NY use the word "trousers"? I haven't.

We both wear skirts.

My favorite answer!

i do. obviously.

True for most, but I grew up saying trousers. Not sure why...but probably too much BBC on PBS

I wear the pants but I let hubby believe that he does although he does know that I do.....

in cases where we disagree, the one who wins is the one who feels more passionately about it.

I haven't either.

Karen_L - whereabouts in NYC are you? I'm in Manhattan (lower east side).

When Alex+R and Rey move here, we should have a NYC VJ party!

I am from The Bronx and I still live up there. I work on the Upper East Side though. Are you from NYC originally?

Ooooo NYC VJ Party! Good idea

Asking who is the boss, decision maker in the relationship LOL...
Sorry I call them trousers... When I think "pants" I think...panting...gasping for air...not an article of clothing LOL

I do! and tell him haha

I can't stand the idea somebody else takes decisions for me.

To me "Who wears the pants?" isn't the same thing as "Who is the boss?" So do you want to know who wears the pants or who makes the decisions?

Actually, we both discuss any decisions that have to be made but the final decision is made by my husband, and I like it that way By the time I married my husband I was sick and tired of making all the decisions about everything, it's a relief to hand over the reigns to someone I love and trust. If my husband wasn't a good man then I definitely wouldn't let him make any decisions in our relationship.... there wouldn't be a relationship, and I wouldn't be posting on the VJ forums hahahahaha!

Totally! I'm in Brooklyn right now and tomorrow I'm signing a lease in Astoria, Queens.

Woohoo!

I voted "this does not apply to us" because we have always made decisions together. I do not buy into this "he's the man, he makes the decisions, I'm just the woman" kind of thought process. Some men take that train of thought waaaaay too far and use it as an excuse to be a control freak....and worse.

Joel and I have been together for nearly three years, I can't see that as still being in the fun stage, yanno? True we've only been technically married for five months, we've been a committed couple for nearly three years. We decided early on that one would not be more in charge than the other. Seems to work well for us.

I can't accurately answer this question as my husband is not yet here with me. I don't believe anyone can judge this in their relationship unless they live together full time.

Seems like I am wearing them, which I kinda knew would happen before we lived together-seeing our personalities and all. He is very laid back most of the time and I am a type A alpha ...but really, I'd much prefer not to wear them as much...Heavy is the head that wears the crown, you know?

50/50 would be ideal
60/40 would work too

Equal here.

Are you suuuure? What if Karen_L is really a psycho killer from Alabama named Bob
who preys on innocent young Midwesterners in New York?

(Karen, I'm just teasing Alex -- it's sort of a private joke -- no offense.)

Interesting, Mark, that is exactly how Alex described you.

That's because I am a.....

Psycho Killer, qu'est que c'est
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa
Run ....... run ... away

Luring a poor naive midwestern lost in New York...


ETA: The word "lost"

We make decisions together. Neither of us have ever made a decision that was totally opposed by the other person.

Hey you found a place! Congratulations My husband's relatives live in Astoria (near 33rd Ave)

Anyway, I think you, Mawilson and I should meet up in the woods somewhere at night.

Are you a triathlete, Mark?

i do...when sanita lets me

Definitley my man.
He's the head (brains) in our relationship while I'm the heart.
He sometimes does ask me about my opinion but in the end he does,decides what he thinks is right and only gives in when it's not ALL THAT important to him.
He usually turns out to be right,cause as I said I see things from an emotional point of view while he's rational.
I'm also very old fashioned and believe in the MAN making major decisions for the family so we are just fine with the way things go.
Decisions on house,furniture and little stuff we do together,but when I told him what kind of car I would like he said no,simply because he KNOWS about cars and I don't.
Same thing with HIS job.
He was offered the job he's doing now about two months ago and he took it even though I was completley against it,now I know he made the RIGHT decision.
So yeah it's him and that's fine.
Nat

I do of course (UKC) he controls the tv remote its just a shame the shows he watches are crap ....like football, nascar, silly shows about how things are made, discovery channel!! ..... you know the type of shows i'm talking about girls right??