Ok thanks for the tip oh wise one.

You're right, us bickering is childish and you constantly sharing your long history with other men is just so mature.

I'll definitely take what you said to heart, especially after reading your posts.

I thought not long ago VP and JP & Sarah said they were all actually friends....? (Well JP and Sarah do not fight with eachother, I mean with VP)

Either way...I don't act like this with my "friends". I wouldn't be their friend anymore if that's how it was every time I saw them. I'd avoid them. I don't get it.

Is it pier???? the plank... off a ship into the ocean!

I never said I don't like reading it cause I absolutely love seeing you lick your wounds and revert to childsplay with everyone. Yay!

And you can discuss it till your blue in the face... that's cool. But personal attacks and flames from VJ crappers like the one above are just that... crap!


Why don't you mosey back over to your "doubts" thread to find out how your man is using you for his GC?

I still stand by the logic that words are powerful and until we can become sensitive to the use of words we will never learn to communicate effectively. Conflict resolution (be it a disute betwen friends or a international dispute) begins with listening and effective language. I don't call that PC

Words and logic are my work. I am very sensitive to them both. However, because I am, I'm very aware that they are often ineffectively used here and responded to in an emotionally pc manner. That is why there is so much conflict on the threads. Too much pc.

maybe we should all learn to take our own advice sometimes. We choose who and how we respond. It takes two to tango.

That's true but I can't stand the way certain people here act and throw sh!t around and then act like sweet innocent little angels... then when someone throws it back they wanna whine about it and cry about people "picking fights" with them.

I would like it noted here that I am fighting with no one.

What do you mean by that VP?

I am responsible only for myself

Hello, people. We seem to be going for a closed thread record on this board. As the OP, I would not like to see this thread closed. Could we please calm down, please?!

szsz===You might be used to some "emotional" repsonses, but because you dont' know me, I truly resent what you are saying here. My reaction is not based on anything to do with political correctness. I abhor racism and I will say when I think someone is speaking or acting in a racist manner. That is called moral fortitude, not political correctness.

I know several women in their 50s and 60s living with 19-25 year old men in Morocco. One couple is married, the rest are living together or have an "arrangement." She gives him a car, cash, a nice place to live, electronics, etc. He gives her, well.... sexual companionship. It is very very common. It is also common with older Western men and young Moroccan women.

By the way, many of these women know exactly what is going on and do not pretend that it is love. Most of them have no intention of marrying, but several do get swept up in it. I know a professional in her 50's who just decided to marry her 22 year old lover, even though she knew it was ridiculous. She told me that she was happy and didn't care how long it lasted. I know another 50-something British woman who met a 25 year old desert guide and promptly "fell in love." Now she sends him money every week to support his family and even his sister's medical bills. This woman has a "glow" now and is happy. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose. But, hey - it makes her happy!

We have a name for this in darija, but it is not very nice so I will refrain.

And you don't know me but yet you're trying to label me as a racist here and call me names.
I am probably the least racist person you'd ever meet. Just because I don't take offense to a word that you do doesn't mean anything other than you and I have two different deffinitions for that word.

come'on szsz I don't want you to feel left out.

I don't think this is merely an emotional PC response. There is quite a bit of hypocrisy in that within this forum people repeatedly discuss how they are hurt/angered/upset by the (perceived) discrimination their spouses receive and/or the things friends/family/co-workers have said about their relationships. They have no tolerance for other's ineffective or inappropriate use of words, yet throw around equally loaded words and say equally charged things.

szsz===You might be used to some "emotional" repsonses, but because you dont' know me, I truly resent what you are saying here. My reaction is not based on anything to do with political correctness. I abhor racism and I will say when I think someone is speaking or acting in a racist manner. That is called moral fortitude, not political correctness.

But here's the rub, peezy. You take a comment a certain way, and you have the freedom to do so. But then, so do I, and I don't take it the same way you do. If you discern racism from someone's remarks, doesn't someone else have the right to disagree if they don't discern it the same way you do? And if they do disagree, are they lacking in moral fortitude because they do not take a comment the way you do?

I think I'll try that ignore feature and see if it works, then we can get back to normal discussions that might get a little heated, but at least they don't turn into playground mudfights.

When I went to see Abdel I took presents for him and for all of his family. This was normal in my family when someone visited from out of town so I expected nothing less of myself. For his birthday I sent a box of stuff (MP3 player & 12 CDs of MP3s I burned for him, rechargable batteries and an adapter to charge them, English tapes and books, socks, T-shirts, etc....) He shared everything with his family and I had to ask him not to give away things I bought for him that I really wanted him to have. For my birthday he sent me a box that contained Italian dress sandles, chocolates and a wooden dish I had asked for.)

His family bought me presents every day I was there, and I was there for 16 days. When he came here, he brought presents for everyone in my family and presents for me. His sister has sent at least one package that I can remember since he got here - we haven't sent any. He's very picky about what he wants to send them, and there are so many of them that it's going to be pretty expensive when we go shopping. We've picked up a few things here and there for different people, but not much really.

I think as long as it's mutual that's what matters. When it's one sided, I would worry. Even if a guy doesn't have a job he can do odd jobs for money.

Sorry szsz for my participating in the hijacking....okay now i am back on topic

I'm sorry... you of all people should know I'm not one to remain silent when I feel attacked

I'm 53, my husband is 32. Why is it ridiculous when an older woman marries a younger man, but not when an older man marries a younger woman? Are we all either fooling ourselves or ignorant?

I speak daija too.



I have my own ideas about this, but I have kept them to myself out of a wish to refrain from tiresome fighting everytime I post. Let's just say, I think you have a point.

Uh, I said that she (the woman I know) said it was ridiculous, not that it is ridiculous for everyone. By the way, I am all for a older man marrying a younger man (see what you wrote below), as long as we are not talking NAMBLA-style.

And, mabrouk 3lik on speaking Darija, woo-boy that is a fun language.

Uh, I said that she (the woman I know) said it was ridiculous, not that it is ridiculous for everyone. By the way, I am all for a older man marrying a younger man (see what you wrote below), as long as we are not talking NAMBLA-style.

Ok. Thanks for the clarification.

And, mabrouk 3lik on speaking Darija, woo-boy that is a fun language.

I grew up between Agadir and Virginia.

Oh heck, how did I forget to comment on the word "Ghetto"? My son had a lot of friends in high school from much better neighborhoods than ours and one of them used to say that his father was scared whenever he brought him to our house for the weekend. It took forever for his parents to even allow him to come to our house. Whenever he did come over he said he was spending the weekend in the "ghetto" and we didn't take it as a huge insult. We knew his father was just ignorant. Heck, the kid had known he was gay since he was about 11 and his parents pretended they didn't know. At least in our "ghetto" he could be himself and not have to lie about who he was.

My neighborhood is about 3/5 black, and I like it that way. Most of the black people are older couples or families, just like mine, who were thrilled to finally be able to buy a house and get out of apartments. Ironically, it's usually the white people I don't like in the neighborhood - the racists, or the developers who buy rental property and then bring the drug addicts and dealers in as renters. I don't see this as a race thing as much as a class thing, and like somebody else said, class has nothing to do with money but much more to do with how a person handles themself. If the racists in our town see our neighborhood as the ghetto, that's fine by me - it keeps them out. I feel incredibly lucky to have found a low-income neighborhood that is quiet and pretty safe where I can live close to work and spend money making my house look like I want it to instead of paying a fortune to live in "the right" neighborhood. If you want to call my neighborhood "the ghetto", feel free. That's your choice. When anybody asks my sons where they live now, they always answer, "the ghetto". It just stuck after my youngest son's friend's dad called it that.

If that was my dogs I don't think I could get to the camera fast enough to take a picture before all of those were gone.

I just realized those were cheetos! I thought they were carrots and was going to ask how you got your cat interested in baby carrots. That picture is adorable!

I am all for a older man marrying a younger man

I edited that to read "younger woman". You guys need to give me an extra 30 seconds minimum to correct my typos after I post before you capture my quotes

and you see... I could understand if you were upset because I called your neighborhood the ghetto or if I said anyone in here lived in the ghetto but I didn't. I was commenting on a place I have lived.
I get all this mess thrown at me about a slang word I used but no one seems to mind all the personal insults that got slung at me because of it...
I swear sometimes I think I'm in the zoo when I come here.

ETA: And I live in the ghetto today as well... not because I choose to but because we can't afford anything else. It's a nice neighborhood and all the families and kids are great. We're happy there and not ashamed of it. We don't feel like we're too good to be there or we wouldn't be... that doesn't change the fact that it's considered the ghetto.

I don't know how I got dragged into this as I have been in a meeting this whole time. Anyway, I am not the kind of person that holds grudges or stays mad. When Sarah first joined her and I used to fight all the time and now we are friends. VP knows how I feel about her and Sarah knows I am friends with VP.

I don't see why any of this matters anyway. If I disagree with what someone has to say then I will say regardless if we are friends or not. I don't agree with alot of what VP says or her beliefs but I do respect her as a person for having the courage to deal with everyones remarks to her everyday ALL DAY. I like everyone, EVERYONE. There are plenty of people I have disagreed with or got in arguements with that I am friends with.

I don't know how you got in it either.

I get all this mess thrown at me about a slang word I used but no one seems to mind all the personal insults that got slung at me because of it...
I swear sometimes I think I'm in the zoo when I come here.

I couldn't believe I was taking up for you. I'm going to ask for credit, please.

Yes you were and I appreciate it very much.

Are my eyes decieving me or is this SZSZ and VP getting along?

The enemy of my enemy is my friend?

All things are possible with Allah.

JP I don't hold grudges either... as long as no one attacks me personally I got no problem with anyone on this board.


Very true alhamdulilah!

I also think it's normal to disagree with friends sometimes too. I just think the tone of it all matters. I didn't mean to drag you into this, but Sarah and VP were really going at it, and not in a respectful manner. And I have seen you and VP go at it too, and then cool down and you all said how you were all actually friends. That is fine, and cool actually. But still, maybe I am not used to friends communicating so hostily even when they disagree. I disagree with ppl on here at times, but I think disagreeing is much much different than mudslinging. I know you were not involved in the mudslinging between Sarah and VP that initiated my thought about it, I just was thinking of something you 3 had said not long ago about eachother being friends.

Still, I think the way one disagrees makes a big difference. I would never think Sarah and VP were friends from reading what they had been writing to eachother back and forth in this thread, because it lacked respect towards eachother. *shrugs*



But some of you attack eachother personally very often...

60.7 It may be that God will grant love (and friendship) between you and those whom ye (now) hold as enemies. For God has power (over all things); And God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

I'm glad we have something in common! It's nice to see.

It would be very nice to see szsz and VP getting along. I'm not saying that ppl who personally attack eachother can't become friends, but I find it hard to believe that ppl consider eachother friends while personally attacking eachother on a message board for all to see.

It is very great when ppl who seem to rub eachother the wrong way end up becoming friends. It's happened to me too on VJ.

I have never made personal attacks at VP. To be honest I don't even know much about her personal life.

See this is what I don't get, Sarah and VP fight and then I get grouped into it as a mean girl. So because I am friends with Sarah that means I am involved in it all?

I don't think I have ever said that Sarah and I are friends. JP and I are and I'm friends/friendly with most people here.
Even if I don't consider someone a friend though doesn't mean I don't like them or hate them... I don't tolerate being attacked though and that's just my personality... call it a defense mechanism from a victim of abuse for too many years.

I don't know why JP got dragged into this either. She wasn't even here! The "guilty by association" mentality is so high school. I don't think we really need people examining who is nice to who and who is friends with who... I think it's clear.

I was thinking of another thread (don't even remember which one now because there have been so many like it ), where you, Sarah & VP were going at it. And I guess you had said you consider VP a friend after you all cooled down...and I did not recall whether Sarah said that too or not. I thought she did, but I guess not. And you were involved in that conversation that made me wonder why VP and Sarah can't stop arguing with eachother and trying to recall if they said they were actually friends in that conversation as well. Sorry for bringing you into it.