Forgive me if I am being repetitive. I just don't know where to post this and I am a nervous wreck right now. I don't even know if I'm posting this in the right forum but I need help. He was just diagnosed by his doctor in Canada as having stomach cancer and it is very possible it has already spread. I have been told to talk to my congressman's office and see if they can do anything. I am so scared. What do I do??? How do I approach them? What kind of questions do I ask them? Do I go in and beg them to have compassion on us and let him still come here asap?

He hasn't even had his medical exam for the interview. He thought he was going to have plenty of time but scheduling conflicts were happening and then he got really sick.

He needs medical care but he can't get insurance here now b/c of pre-existing condition. BUT He has no one in Canada to take care of him. And he doesn't want anyone else to talke care of him but me in the first place. He NEEDS someone to be able to take him back and forth to the doctor appts and be there for and after surgery. Besides that fact, he needs me with him and I need to be able to take care of him. PERIOD. I can't bear the thought of being separated from him while he is so sick. We don't know how bad it is exactly and we don't know how long he has.

I can't sleep, I am barely eating. I can't stop crying. I am a nervous wreck and everytime I think about how he is feeling, being there alone and so, so sick I really start falling apart. He is the love of my life and I am the love of his life. We need to be together NOW. Oh please someone tell me what to do! Tell me how I can get help and get him here and get him medical care immediately. He has to have surgery and chemotherapy. That is all I know right now.

I have been praying and praying. I can't even talk to the congressman's office until tomorrow!! Stupid holiday today.

Please pray for us. Please.

Sorry to hear of this, my thoughts are with both of you. While getting the visa is important, perhaps in view of this, and the potential costs of securing insurance coverage for a pre-existing condition, have you thought of joining him until he's on the mend and through the chemotherapy treatment, and then dealing with the visa at that time?

yes I have thought of that but I don't know how we will do it. He has no one to rely on, he will not be able to work and I wouldn't be able to just go there and get a job. We'd have no place to live. Like I said he has no one to count on up there. It's all such a horrible nightmare

This is simply my personal opinion, but I do not think his condition as described is a cause for denial. I think it is predominantly conatagious diseases like STD's, TB, AIDS and alike. I believe there is somesort of list that gives you an idea of the types of medical conditions. Hopefully someone knows of the link. I could be wrong but I would push forward with my chin up! I think I would still get the congressman's advocate involved however. Good luck!

Yes, as I understand he cannot be denied for cancer. I just worry about paying for everything and so does he. But he can't be left up there with no help. Either way it is a mess. But I would rather go in debt and have him here if that is what it takes.

One could contact the Mtl consualte and see if they can move it up, then if not successful, contact ur congress person. best of luck

I will be going to the Congressman's office tomorrow first thing and speak with them in person. They are closed today due to Columbus day and of course it is Thanksgiving in Canada today so MTL consulate is closed. I figure the congressman's office will have more pull than I could ever have, so I'll ask them to please contact Montreal immediately and ask them to please do whatever they can to make this easier on us. We'll need luck with that, I'm sure

You have to be with him at all costs. Just try to stay calm and focus your efforts on that.

I'm so sorry, Lyric.

Jen

Lyric I am so sorry to hear about this. It's just terrible, we'll be thinking about both of you. If it's not possible for him to get insurance in the US, in the long run would it not be cheaper to find a way for you to both stay in Canada where his care is covered? I know from personal experience that members of Parliament are very willing and able to help get cases expedited. He'd probably qualify to get some sort of social assistance, like employment insurance to hold you both over for a little while. Otherwise I hope your congressman is able to help. You're in my thoughts.

I am sorry to hear this:( You may want to consider going to Canada and staying with him while he gets treatment.
I will tell you with my husbands insurance they said as long as we had health insurance (showed our health cards from Canada) they would cover any pre existing conditions.

I wouldn't even know where to start. His living situation is volatile in the first place. I don't know who to contact or how. I know nothing about Canada getting around and all that. I only have one other friend up there that could 'possibly' even begin to help some. I just thought it would be easier here b/c I have friends and family, a job and so forth.

Right now I'm feverishly trying to find good cancer centers that deal a lot with his type of cancer here in the U.S. and what kind of help we could possibly get. So far University of Chicago seems like a good place to go if we could get help on lodging and travel and such along with the medical bills of course. I don't know. My head is just swimming and I'm operating on about 90 minutes of sleep today.

I would let him stay in Canada where he can get (free) care. i would also get him to file petitions for you to come there, and have things expedited based on his illness, so that you can come there to care for him, and they may expedite your work permits based on this. There are also government programs and charities that would assist him with finances whle he is undergoing treatment. I dunno, thats the angle I would work, you are more likely to get the compassionate assistance if you go there...and not be stuck with a medical bill that will bankrupt you before you even marry. When he is better, then work on moving to the usa...
just a thought

This past April my wife went to an emergency room to get her ankle looked at . She sprained it at softball. Saw the Amount insurance was charged and for that few minutes the emergency room DR saw her, and xrays, the bill (that insurance was charged) was close to $1400!! If one doesnt have insurance, would be a lot more.

Can you give me links or phone numbers or anything on this kind of assistance in Canada? I need all the help I can get. I know it makes more sense, financially for him to stay there and get medical paid for. At the same time, I feel that maybe he could get BETTER treatment here, even though we most likely can't get financial help. sigh. It's all so frustrating and confusing. We just don't know what to do. I'm trying to do all this myself b/c he is not feeling well and is so upset, it's hard to even be able to talk with him right now to figure out what route to go.

http://www.canada.gc.ca/main_e.html MAin Cdn Governemt page, and then use the search feauture I guess. I'm sure others will post better sites

You could in theory come here to visit, marry here, file an "inland application" this is the long route but you would be allowed to work while you wait for the PR. I also know of a couple in which the canadian was on disability and was still accepted as a sponsor. If he was to get on disability here he could still sponsor you. It involves getting married here though. But at least you could work.

I wish you the best in your decision. I can say from personal experience, my father was diagnosed with cancer in the u.s. and he (at that very moment) had no health insurance. He was was treated, but not at the best hospitals, and it was a very bad situation. My family was financially strapped after it was over and my mom had nothing left. My niece is battling cancer now, and even with Child Care Services, they have lost all their money. Her bills are currently in the millions...... I would seriously consider staying where he can get medical attention covered.

I'm not sure why you think he'll get better care in the US. Canada has some of the best health care in the world! Yes the system has it's problems, but there is no question of the excellent treatment he will receive.

Here is the link to the employment insurance and here's the Canadian immigration site. I'd also contact his member of Parliament to see what they can do to help. Like I said, I have found them to be extremely willing to help. Also, here is the Canada benefits site, you might be able to find some programs that he can use. You could also try contacting churches or maybe even the local YMCA in his area to see if there is anything out there to help you both.

That's what I'm trying to figure out. If I came there to visit and then got married and then try to file and inland application, that could lead to problems too. I can't come back to the U.S. and gather up my stuff to live there. I'd be there premanantly. And,then I assume I'd have to close the U.S. case first before we even do anything in Canada? sigh. I'm so confused.

I just thought of this...try getting in contact with the Canadian Cancer Society. They'll probably be able to tell you what kind of programs you fiance can apply for and offer you some guidance as far as that goes.

Thank you, Mercy, for all the links. There is so much to try and figure out in such a short period of time. I don't even know when he is supposed to have surgery It's all happening so fast.

I'm so sorry this has happened Lyric.
You could come here (and other people have done this successfully incl. me) you could have things shipped to you, and you wouldn't have to consider it a permanent thing... maybe just to get thru his treatments.

It just seems so risky to have him come to the states with a pre-exist. condition, you just won't know what kind of help he'll get. You could also file an Outside app, come in while it is pending - (what I did) and then when he is able to come to US you would have PR by then and could do DCF. I am sure your head is spinning, but most important is to get him healthcare coverage!! and he already has it here, and who knows what he'll get in the u.s. without insurance coverage.

Maybe try and just look at it that you're coming here for now, and you'll go back to the u.s. later ?

I agree fully with evilcanuck


Lyric, I'm so very sorry. You and your fiance are in my prayers

I have NO clue about Canadian immigration. I've tried many times to get a grasp of it but it completely confuses me. Can you guys help? How does an Outside App work?

If you have some vacation time or emergency leave time at work, I'd suggest you take a week or two and go to Canada. You needn't apply for anything just yet. You can visit Canada with your passport only, nothing more. Go and be with your SO now. You can return to the US after 2 weeks and continue to sort things out but I think it's important that you go visit your SO now if possible.

Outside is very fast right now (I did it in 3 months) and while it was pending, I came in as a visitor. You would come up and marry, then file from outside using a U.S. address (maybe parents?). We filed April 18, I had the visa July 15. The problem (and difference) between inside/outside is that with Inside you'd be permitted to work while you wait, outside, you wouldn't until you got the PR and then the Social #. Not sure if you have funds to support yourself for that time ? With Inside App you can't travel though.... just wanted you to know that.

Lyric,

Canada allows two ways for spouses to immigrate to Canada and become a Landed Permanent Resident (LPR). The first way is for the application to be processed outside of Canada (at the Canadian consulate in Buffalo, actually) for an American spouse who is living outside of Canada. You want to apply for the second option - applying while living inside Canada. Basically, you marry your Canadian fiance and apply together - he as your sponsor - for you to become a Canadian permanent resident. Spouses do not need to meet a minimum income standard. You will be able to live in Canada while the application is being processed. You will find all of the information at http://www.cic.gc.ca.

As well, if your fiance has been working he has been making contributions to the Canada Pension Plan which has a disability component. He can apply for CPP Disability benefits which will provide him with a base income.

Definitely have him contact his Member of Parliament's office. They will have all of the forms available, will be able to help him and you fill them out for immigration, make copies, certify documents, let you know what step you need to do next. They can also help with the application for CPP disability benefits. You may also be able to qualify for compassinate and humanitarian processing of your immigrant application, but the MPs office would know and be able to assist.

Aslso check out the Canadian Cancer Society link that you received.

You don't want to incur cancer medical expenses in the US. I had an unexpected 2 day hospital stay earlier this summer that required a number of tests - the bill topped $16,000. Insurance is paying a good amount - but not all - of that. Even if his cancer is covered under your own medical insurance you will still have your copays and whatever percentages that youhave to pay. It adds up very quickly. It is much much much better for him to stay in Canada. Join him there. Good luck to you both.

Canada seems like a very immigrant friendly country. Bravo! I'd move there myself if they had better job opportunities.

I can not give you any help with your questions but I just wanted to say you are both in our prayer.....

Good Luck

Kezzie

Okay, now the problem is that he needs to find new living arrangements. We can't live in the situation he's in right now. We'd need our own new small place to live. There is NO way he is going to have me living with him and a roommate in a one bedroom apt. It's already cramped as it is and so forth..plus I think it's rather expensive to begin with.

The other issue is that I got divorced last year. I read that getting married in Ontario takes a letter from a lawyer on our behalf, stating we should be able to marry, which costs about $250 then he has to send it to the office that issues marriage certificates. I read that this process can take up to two and a half months before we can even be 'ok'd' to marry. Anyone familiar with this?

lyric, I don't know the answer on the divorce question but there is a nice forum (similar to vj)
roadtocanada.com
everyone there is knowledgable and friendly. If you don't get your answer here, try there...you have to sign up to post, with your isp (not hotmail or yahoo)

I am heading out for thanksgiving dinner, I am more than happy to help you later with any of your canada immigration questions if you want, i just completed the process...

I wasn't familiar with this, but here's what I found. It doesn't look like it's $250, and if you do apply, contact his member of Parliament and see if they can expedite the application given your circumstance. Where in Ontario does your fiance live? Rent in places like Toronto and Ottawa can be really expensive, but it's possible to find something reasonable, you just have to look around. Do you think you could tough it out and live with them for a little while, just until you find something for the two of you? What about asking his roommate to move out?

I do know some of the answers you need. As for the Ontario divorce thing. What that is is that the province of Ontario wants you to take your divorce decress to an Ontairo lawyer to get it certified as a real divorce. Ontario is the only province that requires this for Canada Immigration.

Okay now the difference between inland spouse and outside spouse is pretty different. Outside spouse can go quicker however you are not suppose to visit Canada during the process. Many people do get across okay but you do run the risk of being turned around if you cannot prove your ties to the US. If you are turned around at the border you will most likely be denied your PR.

Inland spouse does go a little slower however you can be with your spouse. Major downfall is that you cannot work and have no benifits. The only way you can work is to apply for a work visa which is usually refused if you are appling for PR. However once you get your approval in principal or AIP you can apply for a work permit and work while you are waiting for the final okay from Canada Immigraion (CIC).

The major benifit of Canada immigraion is that you cannot be refused due to income. Your husband can go on disability and still qualify to be your sponser as long as he doesn't get any extra money from disabiltiy to support you. The big problem with Canada immigration is that it costs ALOT more money that US immigration costs....cost me almost $5000 when everything was said and done. If you have acess to Yahoo groups there is a group on there called Canadian immigration and their link is http://www.geocities.com/canadian_immigtation_club they are a very helpful group that only discusses spouse immigration to Canada. You may get some more info from them as it has been over 3 years since I did my Canadian Immigration and things may have changed a little bit. There is a lot of people there in Ontairo and they may be able to give you a lot more rescources.

I'm sorry to hear about the cancer. I wish you all the best which ever way you choose to go. You can PM me too if you have any questions.

I went to the link you gave me about the procedure of getting the 'ok' to marry after a divorce outside of Canada and here is what it says is needed:

If you were divorced outside of Canada, you must obtain authorization from the minister of Government Services before you can be issued a marriage licence. For authorization, send the following documents to: A completed marriage licence application.
A Statement of Sole Responsibility for each divorce signed by both parties of this marriage.
An original or court-certified copy (certified by the proper court officer in the jurisdiction the divorce or annulment was granted) of the divorce degree or annulment. If the decree is in a language other than English or French, include a translated copy together with an affadavit sworn by the translator.
A legal opinion from an Ontario lawyer, addressed to both applicants, giving reasons why the divorce or annulment should be recognized in the Province of Ontario. The Office of the Registrar General will fax a sample legal opinion letter to your lawyer if you call (807)-343-7492 or toll-free in Ontario at 1-800-461-2156.
A marriage licence application form, Statement of Sole Responsibility form and a suggested format for a lawyer´s opinion letter are also available from most municipal offices.


The lawyer letter is last on the list and from what I understand it is mandatory. Is this what you all understand? Maybe I could find an attny willing to lower his fee. They're all so outrageous Just for a freaking letter.

And yes, my fiance lives in Toronto and the rent is rediculous. It's almost $900 a month and it's just a small little plain apt in a very old building that has caught on fire 3 times in the last three or four months. Not very safe I don't think. sigh. Anyway, his roommate might move out but I just don't know.

Tons of creative housing options: http://toronto.craigslist.org/

Best wishes to you both--it sounds like you're lucky to have each other.

Thank you Meauxna. Yes we are very lucky and blessed to have one another. I would do anything for him:(

If is not imparative to stay in Toronto, there are other less expensive places to live, Kitchener has a very good, brand new cancer treatment centre, and the rent there is signifigantly cheaper, it is 45 mins from Toronto.

If there is anything I can do to help, let me know. Wishing you all the best.
Linda

So sorry to hear this....so VERY sorry to hear.

Honestly, I don't even know if my fiance is going to go for this either. He doesn't want to be a burden to me in ANY way, even though he still misses me and wants me with him. It's going to be very hard for me to throw all this at him. He has no idea I'm even contemplating moving there, since I haven't got to talk to him today. He honestly thinks he can do this alone but he can't. No one with an illness like cancer can do it alone. Besides, that, I would lose my mind with worry being separated from him. He thinks I would be fine but I've tried to explain that is not the way it works. I am a worrier to begin with and I have just about had a nervous breakdown dealing with all this the last couple of days, but I have to be the one to pull it all together. He has so much on his mind, obviously. sigh.

Linda, do you have any links to info about Kitchener? Is it a really small town? I'm more than willing to take any help and info I can get.

Hi,

Your MPP (Member of PROVINCIAL Parliament) may be able to expedite the marriage license situation so your fiance can contact him or her as well as the MP (Member of Parliament - federal) for help with immigration and CPP Disability.

Kitchener-Waterloo is a large urban area - two cities that have actually grown so that their boundaries crash up against each other. It is a lovely place to live, much nicer than Toronto, and well worth taking a look at for living accommodations.

Here is a link to information about Kitchener-Waterloo:
http://www.kitchener.ca/
http://www.city.waterloo.on.ca/ -
Here is a link to today's rental listings in the Kitchener Record, the daily newspaper:
http://therecord.livedeal.ca/search?zip=N2...es&browse=1

If you are interested in pursuing information google is your friend:. Good luck!

Kathryn41,

I appreciate all the links. I don't mind doing research and trying to find information, it's just that he and I have to move quickly and decide what we are going to do. So everyone who has chipped in and given links and extra info has saved me a lot of extra time AND the energy that I desperately need to talk with my fiance about this and to figure out what in the world we are going to do. Whatever happens I want it done before he has his surgery b/c after that he's not going to be able to do anything for quite some time and I need to be there for him by then. Like I said before, I don't even know when the surgery is, yet and that is worrisome as well.

It's really hard trying to work full time, and look for info and have heartbwrenching talks with him trying to figure out what we're going to do in a matter of a couple of days...with major sleep depravation.

I appreciate ALL of YOU who are trying to help and all the prayers too.

WHATEVER you do... do not delay his treatment.

And keep us posted. We'll be thinking of you. Take some time to sort all of this out now.

You're going to need to start taking care of yourself now. If you don't, you'll wind up in the hospital yourself. What good would that do?

Jen

Lyric where in canada is he located ?

You can call provincial goverment services for health care and houseing also.If you can take a leave of absense from work would be better to come here through his cancer treatments, you may have trouble even later on with insurance anyways. Our prayers are with you both.

I work in health care so if you need advice please feel free to email me

I most definitely don't want his treatment delayed. It's just that I'm in the dark right now. I'm having to drag information out of him as it is. It's extremely hard for him to talk to me about it. I'm afraid it's a lot worse than he's telling me.

Which leads me to this question which he and I had talked about. I know you all have a privacy act about medical records there, as we do in the U.S., right? Do you think that if he gave written and verbal permission to his doctor that she would speak to me directly about his case, seeing that I'm his fiance and he has no one else? I think that would be one extra burden taken off of him and I would be able to know the extent of what is going on with him and would know exactly when his surgery and treatment is supposed to happen.




TRKCKL11,

He is in Toronto near Scarborough. I would try to take a leave of absence from work. I could do that part but that means I have to do something with my apartment. I can't pay for it and be up there too. And I can only stay up there no more than 6 months at a time. This is going to be a long process assuming all goes well. I just thought we'd be much better off getting married at some point. The sooner the better so that I can try and at least get a part time job to bring in some income as I take care of him.

I didn't even see your post till now. $5000?!!! That will take every bit of my savings I was hoping to use to live on while there This just gets worse and worse.

I would be very surprised if it cost $5000 - the application fee is hefty yes - around $500 and then there is the right of landing fee - which has been halved so I believe is around $450 but that isn't due until the very end of the process. You have to pay for the security checks - FBI and from every State in which you have lived and there is a medical requirement asw well. If you apply for Temporary Resident Permits - which are like visitor visas or work visas - then they are around $75 to $150 (these prices may be more since I last worked with Canadian immigration 2 years ago) and need to be renewed every 6 months - that is how you would be able to stay in Canada longer than the initial 6 month period.

You don't have to decide that right away - the important thing is to get your fiance settled and into treatment and as an American you can visit and assist him. That will give you the time to determine what course of action you want to pursue - plus it will give you a better idea of his medical condition and its prognosis. Right now you are operating in a vacuum and that is a scary place to be because there is so much that you don't know. You don't have to decide all of it right away - you do have some breathing room and can take things one step at a time for right now.

Yes, your fiance should be able to provide you with permission for his medical providers to discuss his medical condition with you. You may want to look into a Power of Attorney form as well which would allow you to act on his behalf if for some reason he becomes unable to make certain medical decisions for himself. This doesn't have to be permanent but an extra bit of insurance for him to know that his wishes are followed during his course of treatment. This is a Provincial form, btw, and the MPP can help with that.

Good luck, and do take care of yourself as well. Things will all work out. You may be thinking that things are worse than your fiance is admitting to you because he isn't being as forthcoming as you would like; it could be that it isn't as bad as you are fearing as well and he is trying to reassure you, not realizing that you do better with more information rather than less. Keep thinking positively for both of you. Cancer can be beaten.

Thank you again, Kathryn. My head is just swimming right now, as is his. I'm trying to stay calm but I'm not doing so well with that at the moment. However, the more information I have the better I know what to discuss with him as our options. I'll be sure to remind him to speak with his doctor about giving me persmission to know the details of his case, so that we can proceed accordingly.

Lyric, this is just heartbreaking... I'm so sorry.

I'm not sure what the costs are now, but when I came to Canada in 2001 (filed as fiance and crossed after wedding in the US), the costs were $950 for PR status and $500 for permission to work. There were costs involved in the medical exam as well, but can't remember precisely how much this was... don't think it was more than $100. So the total in my case was approximately $1500-1600. In any case, the costs of immigration were far less than I'd imagine his treatment in the US would be, even as a co-pay with insurance.

I wish you both the very best of luck, with everything. You're in my thoughts.

Lyric-

Here is the link to Grandriver Cancer Treatment Centre in Kitchener:
http://www.grandriverhospital.on.ca/grc/index.html

My father was there less than a year ago, and it couldn't have been better, I'm also in healthcare, and I know good from not so good. They also have a place to stay for out of towners, it is $100/week. I don't know if your fiance is hospitalised or doing outpatient care, but the resource is there none the less.

Lyric, at the risk of sounding like a bossy cow, I would suggest given the situation, that you take some time right now, and step back from this. You are going wild with worry and fear, rightly so, sleep deprived and are being over whelmed with information. Nothing needs to be decided this very minute. You will make much better decisions if you take time to consider carefully. List your options for both bringing your love to US or going upto Canada. Talk this out with a trusted friend, and then do what you need to do.

I know you feel like you need to be doing something, but spinning your wheels, while it feels productive is not really. Go soak in the tub, have a glass of wine and a good cry...go to bed and get some sleep. Sadly this will all still be there in the morning. Please PM me if you need anything.

Take care of yourself so you can take care of your fiance. Big hug.

Linda

I just sent you a PM. Please let me know if I can help. My hubby and I were in a similar situation years ago, but reversed.

*hugs*

LJS,

I really appreciate your insight as well. You're right in what you say. It's just a situation that is hard to know what to do when faced at such a critical time. Already having waited nine months to be together and now....I don't know what will happen. I know I have to take it one day at a time and you guys here have helped me so much today when I had no one else I could easily call and talk to. Plus so many of you have given so much helpful information.

I'm trying so hard to keep it together right now. Just when I thought the visa process itself was the most difficult, stressful and depressing thing I'd ever been through. I was sadly mistaken.

Anyway, you all have been an incredible life line I have so desperately needed today and will continue to need, I've no doubt.