So I was suppose to have my big talk withmy husband, whether to live in Algerie or the States... well of course our plans changed last night and also I got into a bit of a spat...so we didnt...

I have spent the last week thinking and researching the reasons to stay or to leave...

*home

*schooling

* standard of living

* cost of living

* the family

* the extended

* our religion

I also did salaat al-istakara which I believe came out with a positive reply to stay. Buuuuuuuut...

in the last week and half more and more little misunderstandings and disagreements have come up with my husband, which sadden me ...and yet make me think. Well, today he went off very late to work, which he said was fine... he left his mobil at home... His work called him asking if he was coming to work. Which made me think just a little...wazzup? I was thinking something happened to him, since it rained heavily this morning. All worried, I tried to be calm all morning... then... 2 SMSs came in from someone named Naima. Hmmm... I mean I am not the curious nosy type, but the mobil was right next to me as I surfing the Net, so of course I looked it. And I could not believe my eyes.Something about being late for a meeting and why he did not call. Well I am not sure what to make of this, inchallah it is nothing... buuuuuuuut I am little heated right now. So basically my question is...how to approach him on this, if I even should? And also, I need some (more) input on the whole living in Algerie thing... I value all your comments and opinions ladies

(((hugs))) henia

hell yes, approach him on that.... who the heck is naima???? wtf??? *YOU* are his *wife*! You deserve to know who this female is and why she is msging him - specially if she's not family & it's not work related... get some answers! that's my opinion and what i would do.... i don't play 2nd fiddle to anyone!!!
Noura

I am definetly trying to keep all my thoughts good... since I know him, he is very correct with me, fact way too honest for at times. But with him all this week finding even the most littlest thing to say I did not do right, I am wondering what this message was about. I donnot want to seem nosy, but it is not like I was snooping into his things. And he has said to me I am welcome to anything of his and we have no secrets... so I am sure it is just some family member that I have not met, or something else. Cos it definetly not work or friend related. Since then the work called yet again, and also his best friend. Hmmm... did something happen to him on the road? They drive insane here in DZ.

are you positive it was not work related...you said she said something about being late for a meeting...maybe it really could be a meeting. And it is possible that he arrive at work and went strait to a meeting and the others did not know he was there? There are many ways that this could swing. Just trying to let you see the possibilitys. Sometimes when we are angry or hurt we think of all sorts of notions to something that could be logical if we just step back from the situation and look.

Try shushing your mind, sit quietly and see what your truest feeling is about all this. The head can sometimes play such games and get so noisy we can't even remember who we are. I'll say it again... the heart always KNOWS it just has a very wee small voice compared to the brain and is harder to hear. Give it a shot.

do you think he is reachable by landline at work yet? knowing his boss was looking for him, there wouldnt be anything wrong with you calling to make sure he arrived okay and to let him know that he forgot his phone. Without sounding accusing you could ask if he needs these messages right away (he may need them, actually).
I'm not one to talk here, but try not to go too nuts about this (if you can). making a wrong turn here could be very hard to correct so just be careful.

You're stronger than I, Henia. I'm a panicker so I'd be in such a panic that I'd make myself sick. My mind would be working big time about this. I hope everything works out for you about this. Hopefully you'll get ahold of him soon inshallah. Take care habibity.

Thanks everyone... I was after praying the nafl and fard of zuhr just sitting there, calming myself... thinking and realising that the Shaytaan is whispering into my ear. Aouthu bilehi mina Shaytaan ir rahzeem.

And really I donnot know what is going...and really have NO reason to think of anything bad... he has given me NO reason to think anything. Sometimes I just have to STOP thinking or comparing him to my ex. Astagfurullah...

Inch'Allah when he is home I will do as Dawn suggest and ask him if he needed his messages... sorta offering him to explain.

See I'd call him now, not wait for him to come home. He might need the messages pronto. Also don't let your mind go on and on about who this woman is. Maybe she's a coworker.

You should definitely ask him about that woman sms-ing him, but try to do it in a non-accusatory way. Just remind him that he left his cell at home and that you saw he got a few messages from someone named Naima and that they sounded important. WAS it an important meeting? Etc. But don't assume it's anything bad and try not to mull over every possible horrible scenario either while you wait for him to get home (though it's totally reasonable that you're concerned and I would def. be too in that case).

In regard to living in Algeria... I think you need to really really also need to think in terms of whether or not you really feel like you can be yourself there (i.e. be/do who you want). I think you should think about this on your own without your husband's in-put before you have this conversation. I also think that if you do think you'd want to stay, you decide what you will need to make you comfortable and at home there, both physically and emotionally, and what you can both do to make those things possible.

Karen, you are such a reasonable woman... good advice!

I shouldn't tell this story but.....I will. lol

I lived with my exhusband before we were married. (I was not muslim then).

Well three weeks before the wedding he chopped off the tip of his ring finger in a machine. (he's a cabinet maker) Can you say "signpost"???

Anyhooo.....about FOUR DAYS before the wedding I came home from work to find 1) the bed unmade (i always made the bed before leaving), 2) a pack of condoms on the bureau (I was on the pill ) AND 3) a USED condom in the barrel of the bathroom.

This was around 6pm. I called him and paged him to no avail. He did not answer any of my messages. I called his best friend and told him the story and I was BALLISTIC for about 4 hours till he FINALLY came home to a frantic fiance who was spewing venom all over the place. I was like a truck driver with my mouth and crying hysterically.

He just looked at me and sat down and was soooo calm which ticked me off even worse.

Finally when I had calmed down a bit he said that he had come home from work early, took a nap, forgot to make the bed and took a shower. He said that he was sick and tired of wrapping his entire hand with a ziploc bag (so as not to get the stitches on his ring finger wet) to take a shower and the doctor recommended buying the condoms to put his finger in so that he could still use the other fingers to wash with.



Boy do I wish I had reacted differently!!!!! We barely spoke the rest of the night because I was embarassed at my behavior and he was shocked that I thought he had slept with someone 4 days before the wedding.

So......looks can be deceiving.

HOLY SHITE!!!

The man wouldn't have been able to explain himself...I would've kicked him the family jewels immediately upon returning home. Of course I would've regretted it later after getting that kind of explanation. I have a jump the gun kinda temper. I'd probably also call the doctor to check up on the story.

i always jump to the worst conclusions and there had always been a good explanation for everything. this is good advice, to call your husband and ask if he needs to messages. if you aren't able to reach him before he gets home, i would suggest just casually mentioning that he recieved some text messages from someone named Naima while he was away.. and wait for the reaction.

this has happened to me, before i knew all of my husband's friends and family members. we would use the same phone, before i got my own in Paris, and while he was at work I would have the phone. he would come home and I would say "ummmm you got a text from Ryma... it sounds like she misses you." turned out it was usually a cousin that was in Algeria or something like that. I'm sure there is a good explantion, but your head can get you really worked up with thousands of awful senarios running through your head.

Assalaamu alaikum ukhti,
I don't want to give any advice but I will tell you if it was me I would ask about it. But then again Yousuf and I have that type of relationship.... He understands my jealousy issues and I understand his....

I hope it's no big deal and everything works out

If it were my husband....If I would ask him about it...he would go into hours of "you don't trust me?.." lectures and we'd end up arguing all night....But even knowing that...I'd still ask him coz it would make me crazy to not know....

good luck on this

amal

Thanks everyone for the advice. Last night on our way to the tarawee prayers in Alger Bab el Oued masjid, I asked him finally to tell me what he wanted to do...stay or leave... he looked at me, saying well our orginal plan was leave, so I had arranged everything including my job and home so I would leave Algerie. And that I am the one who has changed their mind. I told him basically all of the cons of my life in the USA, reminded him that he will not be going to the masjid 5x daily for the prayers, will not have that same level position he holds one and Muslims are not liked much in the USA in many regions.I also let him know when I suggested living in Algerie, it was not cos I was thinking I was going to live in the lap of luxury nor cos I want to be lazy and have my husband take care of me...no...cos I know I want to practice and study my deen without any obstcles (inchallah), being able to raise children in a halal enviroment, have stressless harmonious home and something selfish live by the Mediteranean. Also that I know very well what the rights of women in an Arabe country are, that I am thinking on that...I am thinking on all this life, only for this day ,this month...Also I told him I know it very difficult to buy a home here, and I never asked him to give me the moon and stars.He was dead silent after that...probably pondering all I said...I wanted him to think life in the USA is all he thought it was, or wanted it to be. And also that me being here in Algerie I am not living the same standard I was in the USA or even in Hungaria...the fact that we have no running water, bath tub/shower, or proper toliet does not did not make me feel the need to live in Algerie...he did. Also that I am compromising all too much...and I never asked him for even a glass of water.That I am taken aback by After tarawee, I drove us home from Alger. It was the first time I drove home (alone with any directions, he was sleeping) ... I missed the turn off...and went passed our city unknowingly. He woked up and starting yelling at me, he scared so much I nearly drove right off the road. I was not expecting this from him at all... but after he calmed down he apologised. But I did not feel any better. I was very silent all most of the way ...after I parked the car at the parking garage, I just came right out with it: Who is Naima? His face completely turned white and he looked to the ground. It seemed like he was not going to answer me, so it was evident to me that she was something I was not suppose to know about. I told him I would appreciate all his honesty as he knows how my previous marriage was...and I pointed out the fact that he promised to not let me have a repeat of my previous marriage. He turned to me, telling she was a girl he was talking to before in the time we were parted (last year)... that he has broke it off with her back in March as we made the decision to be married. He had told me about a girl, this girl it seems that he was talking to after our communcation broke off for a few months, but he was only *talking* to her. And she keeps SMSing him to meet her. Well, I was happy he was honest, my ex was surely not ever honest to me, but I felt all the bad feelings of my previous marriage rush past me in whirlwind of confusion and pain. I asked him if he was happy with our marriage, to which he immediately said 'of course I am'... Somehow this did not give me any comfort. I was at the point where I was fighting inner jihad(struggle) ...I kept telling myself 'It is only the Shaytaan, nothing more...Allah would not have brought me to this point if it were not my destiny'.We walked the rest of the way in total dead silence. At home, I made him tea also in total silence. As he went to watch some TV, I went to pray salaat al-witr... It seemed like in every sujud it was like something was pushing down upon me, not letting me get up. Tears seem to pour down my face. Anyway that is another story.

This morning I asked him to take a walk with me.He did not really want to go out, but I asked him to indugle me. We walked and walked, in again total silence... after about 15 minutes he asked me 'what is wrong with you?' I expressed all my concerns to him. He pushed me into a doorway and hugged me, saying 'You are my wife, I love you'... Hmmm am I suppose to take comfort in that?

He asked me if I wanted to come to the Jumuaa prayers today, but I just said I wanted to pray at home. He asked me if I regreted our marriage? I just looked at him, then said... well I guess, I lack many things you require in a wife'and left it at that. I think he was surprised by my asnwer...but he left giving me hug and repeated the same words from yesterday.

Hmm I almost feel like happiness does not really exist...just some evil trick of the Shaytaan... didn't they say we are not gauranteed anything in this life, esp happiness... only death and taxes ares gauranteed?

Henia.

You are a stronger woman than I....My thoughts and prayers are with you.

O snaps, I hope no one posts saying I whine too much... cheese is too expensive here in DZ

What you're going through - no such thing as whining I'd call it venting!!

Whine as much as you want Henia! You are handling things much better than I would be

((((((hugs))))))))

I agree...if it were me I'd be on the first plane out of there trying to forget him the whole way home. You are a very strong woman Henia and Allah will reward you for your commitment.

I agree with the above posters. It has to be really hard to deal with what you're going through right now- in a new country, away from your kids, with your new husband but having doubts about what to do. You're being very strong about it, and you're really praying and trying to listen to your heart, which is all you can really do.

Give it a few days to settle in and give yourself some time to really think about what you want before you discuss it with your husband. That way, you'll have a clear idea of your own feelings before you talk to your husband, and you won't wonder later on if the decision you came to was because of someone else's influence.

Good luck, we're all here to listen if you want to talk!

I have to say I agree with doodle.

Oh Henia you are so brave, I truly admire your strength and patience. I'm so sorry you have to go through this now. I feel like crying for you habibity. I wish I could give you a big hug right now.

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) May Allah give you peace and insight to guide your decisions. We love you Henia and only want the best for you and for you to have happiness.
Noura

Henia, it's none of my business, and feel free not to answer if you don't want to, but did you ever find out where your husband was yesterday when his work kept calling for him? In your first post, you said that Naima left a message saying he was late for a meeting. He wasn't meeting her yesterday, was he?

I really hope you're able to get a clear answer soon. You seem to be a very strong person , so whatever the future holds, I'm sure you'll come out just fine!

You are handling this situation with a lot more grace/dignity/class than I think most people would, especially me. Honestly, *I* would have had a screaming fit.

I'm so sorry you're having these troubles and I hope you can find some kind of resolution. You deserve to be happy.

Oh man. I just read this thread.

*HUG*

My thoughts are with you Henia...I hope that all will work out for the best... I know that God will guide you onto the right path...(((HUGS)))
Stay well
Dorothy

Sweetie, in life we have to plan for the best and still prepare for the worst. I still am firmly in the get your american citizenship before you move camp. At best, you won't need it, but at worst, it will help you if the going gets rough

There are a lot of ups and downs, especially when the marriage is new. inshaAllah ta'ala you guys will make it through

Well he told me he went to the parking garage, then to clean the car...that is why he was late to work. Hmmm this does not make sense to me, but then again alot of things in Algerie do not. When at work, he did his job and went to the other office of his company and to the bank to check the company's financially statements. He called his employer to *verfiy* that he was *really* at those places..but I did not want to hear it... Also he said this Naima person was texting him, but he was not replying. (Hmmm again...yet there was talk of a meeting) ... he told to also verify this with his friend and cousins...but I thought why waste the time. After my post this morning he tried to play lovey dovey with me all afternoon but I remembered him we wre fasting. He started to be childish and I actually saw some tears... I told him to save it and stuff it somewhere (nicely of course) I was and am upset, confused ... My mum telefoned me so I could speak to my daughter who I am missing terribly, which gave me much needed peace. Also I had prayed a few Sunnah prayers and did my du'uas which also brought me down from my state. I feel fine now...you know that feeling you get right after you have cried.

I guess I do believe him... as I do know him and his mannerisms. But I kept remembering him that I donnot trust him at all, but I am trusting and faithfully only to Allah...so I give myself to Allah...and trust Allah protect and keep me. And also I need time to filter out my feeling... and until then he will have alot of *making up* to do.

Fact #1: He did get two messages from her saying that he was LATE for the meeting and why hadn't he called.

Fact #2: His face turned white when you mentioned her name.

Mysterious #1: He said she TRIES to keep meeting him. That to me says that he never agrees....so if he never agrees to meet...why on earth would he be LATE?

I dunno. I feel for ya girl. (((hugs)))). I've been there done that though not in a foreign country but with an 11 month old and a barely 2 week old in my arms and I KNOW the feelings that you must be going through.

You need to think things logically when he is not around, i.e. when it's a day he goes to work and he's not trying to schmooze you.

I sure wish we were all there to talk you through this but at least it's Ramadan where our prayers are answered a lot more. Insha Allah He will guide you on the straight path..the one that will be best for your deen, and for your daughter.

It really makes me worried reading this. Maybe it's a cultural difference that I am not understanding?

This all sounds awful and if you lost trust so fast (due to his weird behaviors you mentioned), it doesn't sound like a very good foundation for marriage.

I'm sorry because I am sure that the anticipation of being there with him was amazing, and you don't want things to go sour after waiting so long.

I don't know what to say, but you are posting this for all to read, the bad marital issues you are having with your new husband, and as a reader it looks very worrisome to me. Like, most people wouldn't tolerate feeling this way for long before deciding on the future. But I know I am on the outside just reading so I may not undertsand it.

If you do not mind anyone being able to read this and wondering what is going on over there, that's ok if you feel comfortable with that. But I hope you do realize that also, anyone can read this and not understand whether you are now simply miserable or just facing cultural issues? I really really hope the best for you. But please be aware that this is out here for all to read, who will make assumptions and wonder why you are tolerating this. Either it's just newly married issues or it's longterm issues.

I am not writing this to say don't talk about this here, because you are welcome to discuss anything, and I know you need to vent. But the picture you are painting of your husband is not an appealing one to me, because we only know what you write to us here. I'm just trying to let you know how an outsider reading this feels. If you really are feeling miserable and hopeless, I pray you feel better and that things get better between you and your husband. But you have to decide what you will tolerate and what you will not. We can't decide that for you. God bless.

Maybe it's a cultural thing - but the SECOND the phrase "I don't trust my husband at all" exited my mouth....i would have SERIOUS concerns...

Henia,

Do you really want our advice? My sister's ex cheated on her for over two years before she finally listened to me. I was telling her the whole time what he was doing but she didn't want to hear it. She kept saying that she would wait for God to tell her what to do even though I could tell just from what she was telling me that he was. When she finally opened his cell phone bill because it wasn't sealed and saw that he was getting up after she was asleep every night and spending over two hours on the phone with the other woman she started to listen to me.

Even if he still cares about you, it is obvious that he cares about this woman too. You have to decide if you want to share your husband's affections with another woman. Maybe he got himself into this situation innocently enough, but it's obvious that he is in the middle of something unpleasant for you. He may clean up his act for the rest of your visit in the hope of saving his green card, but it sounds to me like that's all he wants right now. He's not treating you like a man treats a woman he loves - that's for sure.

I know it can be hard to accept when someone isn't treating you right, but you have to for your own good. You don't deserve this. If you want to talk to me more about this, please PM me and I will be there for you as much as possible.

Liz

I think you might be pulling this out of context......I think what she is saying is that the situation and what comes of it isn't about her or her husband...but god's plan.
Wish I had real advice here, but when it comes to fixing things at home, I cant even pretend to know anything.

You are alone out there. I feel so bad for you. I hope you can find anything to tell yourself to be comfortable for the next month, and come back. It doesn't have to be about leaving him or the situation, but to preserve the option of making any changes later. Nov 4 you lose the ability to enter the US, don't you? I just hope you don't let that door close....you can always go back to Algeria if you want to, but it might get impossible to come back to the us.

I am really sorry you are going through all of this. Especially as a new bride you should not have to endure any of it at all. Stay strong

I've been sitting here with my heart in my throat all afternoon worrying about the "advice" she's going to receive. It's SO easy to jump to conclusions based on little information. It doesn't really matter who is right or wrong with our opinions. I think Henia is handling this with grace and intelligence and not letting her pain rule her. I am one who trusts she'll do what's best for herself and that all things will be as they should be.

You are right Jean, only she knows what is best. I guess this hits home so bad for me because my sister kept waiting for "God" to tell her what to do and ended up getting an ulcer in her colon from all the worrying and stress. Now she has ulcerative colitis for life. She goes into remission, but it never seems to last more than a year and then she's back to heavy medication, special diet, and regular doctor visits.

Sometimes "God" is telling you something that you don't want to hear and you keep asking for a better answer. It's easy to say nice things to people to make them feel better, but if their gut feeling is something that isn't so nice, that has to be dealt with.

I don't think Henia would be posting here about this if she didn't have huge doubts.

My sister is divorced now, but she will live the rest of her life with the disease she got from the stress this man put her through. Henia has less than a month to decide how to handle things. If she decided to end the relationship it would be best to begin divorce proceedings before she leaves there. This isn't a decision she has a month to sit on and think about, it's something she has to be rational about, even if it is hard. Of course she could decide to stay with him, that's her choice too.

I don't mean to try to make that decision for her. Only she can do that. Just that whatever she decides, she has asked for our input to help give her information that might help her make it. I gave my opinion based on what she told us - that's all I can do.

Jean please don't take this the wrong way. I don't think there is anything for you to be worried about or be nervous about. I think Henia is fully aware that she is going to get mixed reactions. I don't think she has recieved any bad advice at all, she may have recieved some advice that she doesnt care for or doesn't agree with. However the good thing is she can take all the advice, the good and the bad and come to her own conclusion.

I think that anyone who posts such personal information is going to get a mixed bag of reactions and most people know that when posting. She should absoulutly do what is best for herself and her situation. All we can do is offer advice based on the few details we know and the few that are given to us and its up to the OP how do accept those opinions.

I have to agree with you here, JP. Even though, you all know, I'm usually the first one to pipe up when I think people are jumping to conclusions. This isn't the typical case of someone casually mentioning that their SO is getting impatient and others saying something fishy must be going on. There have been many details shared about this, I think enough to come to some reasonable conclusions. Henia is, I think, asking for opinions and advice on this matter. So I don't think that anything that is said here is unsolicited.

I know this has nothing to do with Henia's marriage or post, but my ex-husband hit me, used drugs, and had multiple affairs. I wish I would have taken into consideration any amount of the small advice I recieved from my friends. I shared very very few details with them bcz it was very difficult to talk about it, however when I would mention small things they would give me advice. I refused to hear it but it was stlll comforting to know that they also thought he was wrong and that I wasn't overreacting even though it didnt impact my decisions at all. It was just nice to have someone else say, yeah he is a jerk.

I agree with JP and Jenn. I don't believe anyone gave bad advice nor was anyone being insensitive in their responses. I don't believe anyone was jumping to conclusions either. I don't know why being honest is now considered being mean and hurtful. We can't always walk on egg shells because someone may get upset. If you put your personal business on a forum you have expect all kinds of reactions to it. I love Henia and she knows that and I won't judge her situation. All I'll say is she's handling it so much better than I would.

I'd probebly be throwing plates across the room while doing that whole chicken head bobbing action while yelling.

Mine is the Darth Vader voice. Abdel says my face changes color, my voice changes and I become a different person. Thank goodness he's only seen that side of me once since he got here and I was totally in the wrong.

I dated a whole lot over the 15 years before I met Abdel (when I was single during that time) and I used to tell men right up front that I wouldn't tolerate lies. Most of them were out of my life in 2 weeks, but my line became "It didn't take them two weeks to tell me a lie, it just took two weeks for me to catch them in it."

Abdel and I have been together over a year now and I haven't caught him in even one lie. I guess that's why he isn't going anywhere. It's a shame it took so long and across an ocean for me to find a man that wouldn't lie to me. I met plenty of men all over the world who couldn't be honest so it isn't just American men who will lie to women (or men who will lie, Charles, since I know you'll probably comment on that.) It still amazes me though that men will not care about a woman's feelings (or women men's). I don't care how low a person is it is just plain wrong to toy with someones affections.

Yes I posted this all too personal issue, cos I do value all your opinions ladies and have found in the short time I have been on VJ that you are all strong bunch. Thanks again...and I am still thinking on the matter.

And we just want to remind you that we are here for you anytime on the forum or off.

*** I am saying this knowing that I am putting myself on the line, but I don't care! It's my life and you are not the judge. Only Allah can judge us.***


Henia,

I sorta know what you are going through. When my husband and I had our first breakup he started seeing other people. The first time we got back together unofficially he was still "seeing" another girl. Well I wasn't feeling that. So I told him, her or me. I told him that I wasn't going to see him until he decided what he wanted. So a few months later he came back to me. Again we weren't official. He started getting phone calls from two different girls and would turn his phone off when I was with him, or when I would call he wouldn't answer and then I would call back to find that he turned his phone off. Finally I told him that was it and I wasn't going to be with him again. Mind you, we never slept together which I know was one of the problems, but I still didn't understand why. So last November he came back to me again. This time he got a call from this one girl and told her he was with his girlfriend. I started to feel a lot better. It took me a while to give him some of the trust he had lost. I knew he was mine in December, but when I went away during New Years Eve, I was worried again. I kept calling him making sure he wasn't with another girl. He wasn't and I have proof of that. About a month ago he left the house with his password in his e-mail open. I looked. I know I'm bad! But I found good things. I found all the e-mails I had written to him in a file called "My love" and I found all the e-mails he had sent to the other girls and had recieve from the other girls. The only e-mails that he said love in at all were my e-mails. The others I know were for "booty calls. My husband and I talk about this alot. I feel better knowing that all the girls that once were know now that we are married and I know that I give him what he wants and that in the end I am the one next to him at night and the one he wants a family with. He had to rebuild his trust with me, and he was at 90% when we married, and he's at about 98% now. I think I will always be a little cautious, but it's normal for me. I know he loves me. And I know I love him. Sometimes you have to let what you want go and see if it comes back, that's how you know it's real.

I hope you figure out what you have to do. I'll keep you in my prayers, and if it's ok with you I would like to share this with my husband and my best friend so they can also pray for you. Take care. I know it can be hard, but you gotta stay strong.

Your Friend,

Janine

Well guys I wasn't implying that anyone had said anything wrong. I said I was worried for her. That's my nature. Let's not get ruffled. I think it's all been fairly constructive advice. I think perhaps my "listen to your inner voice" thing was taken wrong too. Bottom line... the person involved already knows the answers. That's what I'm getting at. Its not always easy to acknowledge and act on those. That's up to the intestinal fortitude of the individual. Unless I'm missing my mark, I think Henia has a lot of moxy and I was just stating that I have faith in her. I doubt she'll be one to sit and play mind games with herself.

Anyway. STOP TAKING ME WRONG! sheesh (that was a joke)

Thanks ALOT JP