ok , ummm ...lets just say that somethimes i get a wate and sometimes i get a will see when you get her . as in a lets do it . now , i know she is the one for me , but i also know that sex before marrying someone can cause damage . so , what should i do ? i want to have sex , yet i alsowant to please my lord . its like a fight , and i think she may think the sameway . will , i just dont knowwhat elese too say .

It's the ultimate battle of the flesh. You will constantly be at war with the flesh. Pray about it and talk to your significant other. That's my only advise.

I wonder what exactly is holding you back? sex is pleasurable. God designed it that way. He wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity

Hey,

If you want to honor the Lord by waiting to have sex together until you marry your marriage will be blessed in ways that you cannot imagine.

I am sorry but the Lord does not delight in us having sex before we are in the covenanat of marriage, you can't find that anywhere in the Bible, so sorry to the person who wrote before but you are absolutely wrong.

I have been a pastor for 31 years and have counseled hundreds of couples who have waited and those who have had sex first. The marriages that waited and honored the Lord, have awesome sex now that they are married and have found that the Lord has really blessed their marriage. The couples that didnt wait have many more problems in their relationship.

I have been married twice, my first wife died, and both times we waited till we were married and it was absolutely the best decision that we have made.

You will find that people who do not have a born again personal relationship with Jesus Chirst do not understand what I am talking about and think that this is all old fashioned and outdated. Bottom line, if you wait and do so to honor the Lord, He will honor you by blessing your relationship for the rest of your lives.

Rob

LOL . . I always find it funny when the "born again" folks say that others won't understand. As if 'falling off the wagon" and having to be born again gives some extra insight that those who have been christian all along don't have. I think JC cares more about how you treat your significant other or wife, rather then whether you "honor" the Lord by obstaining from sex.

I tend to sway away from being politically or religiously correct to give you a idea of the reality of this subject....contrary to popular belief, I think sex is an important part of a relationship. Sort of "Try before you buy" mentality if you will.

There are always 2 reasons to a relationship when considering the "real" circumstances of reasoning behind why relationships exist. These primitive instincts are:

1) Pro-creation (Desire to have sex is piled into this reasoning)
2) Companionship (Spending time with someone, enjoying their company)

Now don't get me wrong here, sex is not the only thing important for a relationship, but it is at the top of the list.

There are benefits to having sex before marriage and I think they are:

1) Putting aside all sexual frustration to truly determine if this person is right for you (If you have sexual frustration, you tend to deal with things otherwise not dealt with if having no sexual frustration)

2) Sexual compatibility (Does the person have the same sexual pattern as you? How often...etc.)

These are only my opinions....so let the flaming begin!!!

Really only you and your Lady can answer this.

#1 Respect her belifs and wishes

#2 Respect Yours

#3 as you have said you both talk alot I am sure you have already talked of wants desires and sex so the understanding of what is expected after marrage should already be covered. Also understand she comes from a culture where sex is part of marriage and not a barter tool so I can not imange you having problems that ways as occurs in say American culture

#4 Sinse she comes from a conservitive scietoty I would say if you both really feel the need to do it ASAP, have a nice NON legal wedding and then engage the engines full throttle; The idea of asking for a test drive would show a total lack of respect and trust; not the best way to begin Life----I know this was not your idea---- That whole concept is just very unhonorable and sad.

Any way First respect and trust Her then all things shall follow. without respect and trust you have nothing

Absolutely

This post belongs in the Doctor Phil forum

To be a good christian isn't just about denying the desire of your flesh and the natural urge of your sexuality. It is the whole package! May I say: Lord, I want to have crazy love making session with my lady, but to glorify your name, I will not, but i'm going to think about it constantly days and nights about how I'm going to DO IT blah blah blah... God, I can't keep my mind of it, but i'm denying my desire! (mind runs wild with sexual thoughts)

Ok... I am not so sure God will be judging you ONLY on this one thing, how you will go to hell because you make love and enjoy the sexual intimacy with your WIFE. Before or after? Of course, after is always the better choice. Why? Think of it this way, your wife is not only your partner but it is a gift from GOD. Do you ever question a GIFT about its performance or if it comes with a life time warranty? So, questions about your partner sexual compatibility are normal to have, but not the decision factor in your marriage.

My vote on this: You wait for her to be ready and she should do the same for you. Before or After? You know what the Holy Spirit has been speaking to you, listen to HIM. BTW, nothing wrong with sex, nothing so sinful about it... Do it right and enjoy many years to come.

Love,

chuck and kim

this is the best advise , stright to the piont and right on point . i did talk to her and she belives we should wate . i thank you , for sometimes we try too say its ok since i will marry her anyways ...but its not . thank you .

I think you should wait until you are at least out of the church. LOL

oh , one more thing , just to let you know i did not ask her she kind off asked me by saying " well see when you get hear " . now , to also say yes she may have been testing me to see how i would react being that she is a conservitive . which to me is all good then becouse i do love my lord . just one of those battles when you want to please your woman and do as asked . oh , i will also say it may be hard for me being that she is my 1st woman that i will have been with . yes thats right i never have had sex with a woman .

I commend you for that last statement! So, are you ready for some sex soon? Relax firewalker... instead of asking the questions should or shouldn't, you may want to ask the HOW/WHAT/WHERE to have sex HEHEHEh i'm pretty sure the guys and girls here will be more up to that Sharing the knowledge of the joy of sex. Anyway, nothing to be ashame of being a virgin in my Books... BTW, whatever you see on TV/DVD/Video/Internet, the real thing is 100% better! Build it up and wait for it, worth it!

Cheers,

chuck and kim

There are some posts veering towards bashing here. Have respect for your religious brothers and sisters.

Is this about sex with your fiance, or sex with someone else while you are engaged?

I guess firewalker is talking about his fiance and himself....

I agree. I am religous and do things in a religous way. But I usually attempt to give real/logical advice without a religous or a politically correct viewpoint.

I am sorry if I offended anyone.

Sorry Matt:

"YOUR religious brothers and sisters"

They're NOT my brother or sister..........

If you have to ask: wait.

You & your peers will just crucify (oops, bad word choice?) you later.

Do you need us help you with a "Risks & Benefits Analysis" ???

Let's say:

Risks:

1. Baby before Marriage: Big no no for some religions, then denominations
2. Visa Complication: delay your visa because the baby may come before she arrives
3. Financial burden: you two need times/money to settle down once she arrives, extra expenses in having a baby



Benefits:
1. The Joy of Sex
2. The Joy of Sex (repeat as many times as you can)
3. Reduce stress
4. Increase chance of having a baby (see Risk 1 and 3)


Add to this list if you like...

Cheers,

Chuck and Kim

Does oral count as "sex"?

According to President Clinton....NO!!!

yeah yeah yeah

I was going to answer more contemporarily that high school students don't seem to think so....

The visa and culture things make this a hard question. My fiancee was married when I met her. She had not seen her husband in four years. It took us 6 months to get this situation taken care of because in the Philippines divorce is illegal. Then there was the visa thing. We would have gotten married right at that time but we heard that the fiancee visa was a quicker means of entry into the United States. If she gets turned down for her visa, I will fly over there and marry her right away.

Before we had sex I had proposed and she had accepted. Though not sanctioned by the state, i considered myself married to her at that time.

I wouldn't want to put my values system here on others; this is a highly personal choice between two individuals who are special to each other.

I agree with Chuck and Kim...

I would suggest you to study more about the Philippine culture and tradition. Filipinos are very conservative! And remember that "abortion" is "illigal" in the Philippines. Still most of the filipina ladies would say no sex before marriage because of a strong religious beliefs.


The issue you shared here inVJ is too personal...
***It's you and your fiancee's choice to have or not to have sex before marriage.
***No one is perfect...!
***Think about your relationship and commitment with God! If you clearly understand what the BIBLE say, then you know the answer to your puzzling mind.


God bless,
Princess

Yes but you should know that illegal abortion is done in the Philippines and Cytotec (misoprostol) is used to induce abortions there too.

Do you think abortion is safe? That is a big "no" to me!

No, I didn't say it was safe, only that it is done illegally (and unsafely) in the Philippines. And Cytotec is a very dangerous drug when used to induce abortions, but people still use it there.

firewalker,

in your very first post on here, you said that u think she doesn't want to have sex until u both r married.

my question is this...

----Y do u think she doesn't? with chatting with my fiancee i know how he feels, i can pretty much complete his sentences. I know what his reaction is going to be. even though he still suprizes me on that...lol... when meeting someone online its not about sex. its about communication, love, respect, ect...
however when u said u think. it just cought my eye and reading the others i say do what u and your fiancee believe in. i will tell u right now that its been a year and u can bet my sweet ### we will be getting a motel room when he flies in....lol.... dont worry i will feed him first...lol.... best of luck.. and enjoy your life together, god bless!!!!!!!!!!

*picks up 10 foot pole. Looks at it.*

"Nah...."

*wanders back out of thread*

we are supose to please God...not man.

This is a delimea and a religious test i would have failed. But thanks for the laughs this morning, my side hurts... after a 13 hours shift I needed this. Goodluck in whatever u decide. Payato

Do the horizontal mambo. There's nothing wrong with it.

Can I ask how old you both are? If you don't want to tell that's ok, I'm just wondering.

"What would Jesus do?" Many years ago, my pastor told me to ask myself that when I asked him how to make a difficult decision. It has been my guide ever since.

Ask Mary Magdalene. I bet she could tell you some stories.....

plus bumpin' uglies is fun

Well, I don't believe in god, so I'll just continue to please myself thank you very much.

Oooh, after reading that back it sounds really naughty....

That doesn't seem naughty, it just looks like you're still waiting for a visa.

Hooo boy! These threads get more hilarious as the days go by.

Not to tease the OP by no means, but....WHY in god's name would you post a question like this on a PUBLIC forum?

I bet you're not very good at it then. Go practice.

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If Eric and I had to wait to have sex until after marriage, we would have been filling the i.129-f after our first 10 mins together

And if cyber counts, we will go to hell anyway

Magic 8 ball says 'ask again later'

I wonder what Deathknell would say ...

I also feel like eating cereal at night,though it should be eaten at breakfast. I say eat the cereal when I feel like. Thats how I do it.







Please dont tempt me to go back to high school.


I was going to answer more contemporarily that high school students don't seem to think so....
[/quote]



Firewalker,
You say you have never had sex with a WOMAN. How about with a man?