The first time you flew to the middle east to see your so, what did your family say?

"We are not sending you off to Africa"

haha.


Good times!

Oh my.....let's see.....where to start. WHY, WHY, WHY????? Are you crazy????? Don't talk too much or they will cut out your tongue! My parents are so backwards.

They came with me!

hmmm....get out of my house...."Didnt you ever see, "Not without my daughter"..I hope your plan lands without any highjackings, I am disappointed in you...etc

Sister #1: Don't you love your kids???? Have you seen "Not Without My Daughter"???? You DO know there are Muslims there and that the guys treat the women like crap right?

Sister #2: I hope you wrote out your will. I talked to three people and all say not to do this. They will kidnap you, take your passport and sell you as a slave. They are a Muslim country. Please don't do this.

Mom: You don't just meet someone on the internet, get all lovey and go to the Middle East for goodness sakes. There's Muslims there!!! Where is your head???????

Ex-Husband: so when you leaving? How long do I have to have the kids for?





I just love my life.

my family thought i was insane

i didnt get any negative responses.

Only the usual dont carry on the plane something for someone else, dont flash your money etc etc But I get told that going anywhere.

I never told anyone until I actually was in Jordan. The response was you're crazy! and don't you know there is a war going on over there. then when i came home I told one of my patients where i was. I said i went to the holy land and he says oh you went to Italy

My ( grown ) daughter said Mom if they kidnap you and hold you ransom don't have them come to us for the money because we don't have any......she was serious and crying !
Other comments..........are you crazy......have you lost your mind.......you are acting like a teenager.......
we will never see you again.........blah blah blah.......
really though, I wonder what I would have said to my girls if they told me see ya, am going to Africa to meet someone I met online

Super smart not to say anything until afterwards. I kept quiet until the last 2 weeks before I left. The response was very negative. From all sides..friends and family. People seriously think it's so dangerous.

I experienced a completely different response to the second and third trip. Like once they saw my first trip was a sucess (meaning I actually came back ) and heard first hand about the people, the food, the culture, it really relaxed everyone. And the second and third trip there wasn't the same tension, like I was putting my life in danger. I felt more support and a general interest in the trip.

Most people fear the unknown. It's such a shame we can live on the same planet but feel worlds apart.

My family totally disagreed. They even had people try to talk me out of going, but to no avail. Now they see I am very much in love, and nothing will stop me from being with the one I love.

OMG! How can I forget that comment! Yup, I heard that a 100 times too

I still get the "haven't you seen Not without My Daughter"???????? When I went I also got the "don't you know there's a war there" type of comments...I was basically disowned by my grandparents, they told me how stupid I was and how I was going to get myself killed by going to some Ay-rab country and socializing with "those muslims". It was really difficult for me.

WHY does the older generation say it like that???? Makes me crazy

They said all the usual stuff. They were wrong. He and I were right I still don't talk to one sister and it's been almost two years. She still believes she knows more about Morocco than my husband

Doreen

All of the above + uh, why can't he come here and visit you? Well, family dearest, I would love to have him come and hang out in Madison, but you see, the US doesn't give tourist visas to young Middle Eastern men of the muslim persuation.

Now that he's been here (almost a year ), they're trying to warm up to him, but there are still inevitable clashes. *sigh*

My parents know I do not care about what they think, so they do not even bother. They also asked why did I not send them plane tickets and when I showed them pictures they say I look like I am in love, and they said that he is trying to use me they will F**** him up. Besides my immediate family I have not told a lot of people. My job knows and other people, but I think I am more embrassed than anybody else. (I know this sounds dumb.) However, it has not completely hit me that I am doing this. I also think that in the society that I live it is not considered normal behavoir. But I am trusting Allah and I made salat istarkatra before I made the dicussion so I am just going with it.

My family thought it was kinda cute that I was going to meet my internet "buddy"....well not really all that cute...they didn't really say much about it since I was already married and divorced from a dreaded Arab/Muslim and I'm Muslim myself. However, when I came back married....they FREAKED!!!! My father asked if I could "undo" my marriage and my mother said, did you have to marry ANOTHER one of them? Then she started on how I was teaching my children to hate Americans and become terrorists...WTF?? Because I married "one" straight from the "old country". I was living with my parents at the time and one of my mother's first words after she was told I married Mohamed was...well HE'S NOT living with US! I moved out about 2 months later and haven't spoken to my family since May. They were lots more nasty than what I wrote here but I don't want to get into it.

Well, my mom and dad both met Wadi when were together in Italy before I ever visited Morocco. No negative reactions, just some envy that I was getting to have a real "authentic", non-tourist experience in Morocco. In fact, we're hoping to take my mom, step-dad, and sister to Morocco within the next couple of years for a visit.

I'm sure though if I had met him on the internet and decided to go to Morocco to visit him, she would've flipped! But honestly, so would have I, if my daughter were to do the same thing!

ETA: My grandmother did send me a shawl before I went to Morocco. She has the idea that all women must be covered otherwise "something bad" will happen....

I hope that goes better then it did for my family After I trapsied over to Egypt in August of 03 and came back determined to marry Tamer, my mom got this bizare idea in her head that my immediate family would go over and meet his family. Bad idea. I think a lot of it stemmed from them never having traveled to a 3rd world country before, and an already negative mindset before they even stepped foot on Egyptian sand. We've had some really scary family vacation in the past (5 people, 1 van, 3 weeks and several thousand miles on the road usually leads to a few blow outs), but this was by far the worst.

But, if your family is already cool with him, hopefully all will go well



I will say that my lovely grandma has been the best about this whole thing. I lived in the same town as them at the time of my first visit, and spent a ton of time with her and my grandpa, so we're tight. When I told her I was going, she offered to give me a ride to the airport and the only thing she said was to be careful and make sure that I was on bc I my grandma

Ok no fair!! You HAVE to tell us at least one story of when they were in Egypt.

I hope so too! My mom is a huge fan of traveling, so I think she'll be ok. She already knows exactly what she wants to do and see. I've made sure they know that they will need to stay in the five star hotels. She likes to look for "quaint, little" places when we travel, but I think it's in her best interest to stick to the "touristy" accomodations while in Morocco. We've also made sure that Wadi's family knows that they won't be staying in their home and that they won't be offended by that.

Oh where to begin? Well, complaining non stop about the accomidations, which were a really really really really nice upperclass apartment in the middle of Cairo that cost $50 a night. My husband spent a month trecking around Cairo looking for a good place for them to stay, so they didn't have to shell out $400 bucks a night for 2 rooms at the Hilton. Ok, so you're in a freakin 3rd world country, of course the plumbing isn't going to be up to American standards. You have a toilet, a shower and a sink, what more do you want? Plus, a kitchen with a stove and oven that you don't have to light with a match, beds with matresses not made out of stirophom (sp) and a nice size tv with satalite. And, there's a "Metro" groccery store right down the block, so you can get all your western food because egyptian food isn't good enough for them

It was an overall nightmare that reduced me to a sobbing mess several times during the 10 day excursion.

note to self, don't invite the rents. lol

So hold up here...they really do sleep on styrophoam?? I'd have SUCH a bad back!!

Usama is looking for an appartment. Any tips?

They don't sleep on styrofoam, lol..rahma was exaggerating They do, however, sleep on extremely hard "mattresses" which aren't mattresses by our standards..they don't have springs in them. I was afraid the first time I sat on my husband's..the first night I arrived in Egypt (I slept in his room and he slept on the couch in the living room until we were married). Surprisingly, I had the best, most relaxing sleep of my life on that hard mattress. They have these big fluffy blankets that are sooo warm and nice for winter. I'm having Mohamed bring one with him when he comes inshallah.

mom: "don't you know they are having a war over there?"
me: "in africa? "
mom: "well in that area"
me: "from across the sea?"
mom: "well whatever, he's going to kidnap you and sell you as a sex slave as soon as your plane lands"
me: "they'll give me back "

Hehe. Actually, in the apartments we've stayed at with just the two of us (middle class-ish), several of the mattresses have been foam, pillows have been foam, icky. No styrafoam, but still, not my idea of a mattress

When I told my mother Adil and I are going to Morocco in February, she freaked out and told me not to go because they do drugs and will treat me bad and he will hit me and I will never come back to the USA. You need to do more research on the country and the culture. blah blah blah

When I told my dad he said the usual, it's a muslim country. When they see you have blond hair and blue eyes, they might kill you for being an american. I showed him a picture of a few of Adils friends who also have blond hair and blue eyes. I also explained how most of the women in Morocco don't cover so I will be ok. Now he's comfortable with it, and I think after meeting Adil's mom he's excited to go to Morocco with us in February.

I'll tell you what I said first.... Im NEVER marrying a muslim man and Im NEVER getting on an airplane!
This was only because both my grandfather and my father cheated on their women, and when my grandma died my grandpa married his mistress and they have been married for 18 years and still today sleep in the room my grandma passed away in. My dad.... at least he waitied 5 years to re-marry. But hey, he still had 2 kids outside the marriage. "Hey. Big sis to who?!" HE NAMED ONE OF HIS DAUGHTERS AFTER MY MOTHER? I still today call her, "lil' girl" Not the ones while mom was living. The rugrats after...lil sis is 2 years old, ha! my papa is STILL a rollin stone!


LUB MAKES YA DO CRAZY THANGS!

My dad said.."You know them muslims dont want to do nothing but get married and have a house full o kids, don't you?"

I said, " A house full, huh? " Keep in mind we are muslims too! "Yeah, dad I know. That was pretty much discussed in the first conversation."

My ma had this sayin... 2 is a couple, 3 is a crowd, 4 is some... I asked my husband how many kids he wanted and told him we are going by my ma's saying.... He said many is 10! HHHHHHAAAAAAA... He doesnt have any kids, but he aint having 10 of em either!!! little does he know..... he was kidding anyway..


I think that since my dad lives in mississippi, it was harder for him to phathom my going there. He never met my uncles wife. She is the one who proposed that her brother and I get married. Shes a sweetheart.

Sisters... The 1 over me = "You know he aint no virgin and you knw they aint rich over there and what if he leaves you once all the paperwork goes thru? Why you think his sisters are over here and if he "'LET" you come back you gonna be pregnant and I aint got no money -(keep in mind yall... this broad owes me $3000!!!) You a damn fool!!!!! But she is the one that cheated and he left her for it and I let her move in with me just to kick her ### right back out. Havent seen her since I came home in April

My oldest sister - very supportive. Love her to death. She was there for me b4 i left. She lives in vegas but we talked about it everyday until the day I left. We talked at the airport. I was dying slowly as I saw the airplanes pull in and take off, I was soooooooooo scared but I had my daughter with me so everytime I felt like freaking out, I just went to the washroom .

Little sis = cant wait to meet him. Been there from the beginning, probably cuz she lives with me too!

Lil bro - I didnt think you was gonna do it cuz i know u scared of planes, I was hyperventilating in the car when we pulled up. Yall, he hurried up and kicked me out MY OWN VEHICLE cuz he got to keep it for 2-3 weeks, got 2 tickets on it btw, threw a party in the crib AAAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDD this boy was in the house frying chicken and everything else. People, I didnt even know he could cook. Oh yeah, he was living with me too!

Other brother, 1 year older than lil bro.... So you going to the mother land, huh? Bring me something back!

Came home showed off my pictures and my ring...

The grandfathers wife...... '"Oooooohhhh no, honey, aint nobody putting all that mess on my hands and feet! (of course she's talking about the henna) Hey baby!!!!!?? You gonna have to get me anotha ring!! I knew you was going to get married . Everybody be lying and saying, oh Im just going to see..... " I never told her that.....

Hell lady, I dont really even talk to you 1st off, 2ndly thats an expensive question, $2500 to know if he "likes me"...... He loves me and I love him and thats why I went!

Of course I got the movies and slave trade and all that stuff too.... They're crazy. Its so peaceful over there. Even the cats and dogs were kickin it! I dont know who said it but they said it best, people fear what they dont understand. They wanted to know if he lived in a hut and did we eat zebra for dinner and did he smell bad.... They were actually making me sick with how utterly stupid their questions were!

Bislama

Hey, I've eaten zebra in Kenya and it's darn delicious!!! mmmmmmmmmmm..... zebra - and no, I'm not kidding!
Noura

I ate camel and pigeon in Egypt...yumm camel tastes like tough beef

Adil asked if he killed one of the pigeons here in philly if I could use it's meet to make pastilla! Ewww

Hi everyone!

Yeah pigeon isn't one of my faves. It was pretty tasteless if you ask me. I told my husband that we wouldn't eat the pigeons at home..they're like flying rats.

Ok hold up...they're not flying rats there???? What are they a freakin' delicacy?

lol

Now I'm paranoid. I am giving him a shopping list to have ready for when I come and chicken is a big part of that list........how will i know if it's not chicken?

Which reminds me of a story. We have this radio station in Boston and this guy was talking about health violations in restaurants. This guy calls up from an Italian restaurant which is next to a Chinese restaurant in Revere, MA. The guy said that one night he was taking the trash out back when he saw a truck pull up with these big azz birds in the back. The cooks came out and took out the birds. He got a closer view, saw what they actually were and said, "hey......wtf are you doing with those things?????", to which they replied, "it is our inventory".....................and he said, "inventory??? freakin inventory of what??????"

to which they replied


"beach chicken!!!!!"



Yup.....that chicken lo mein or the chicken with broccoli, etc. was actually 'beach chicken' aka seagull.




I never ate there again.........and it was my FAVORITE chinese restaurant because it all tasted so fresh!!!

hahaha.... funny story for you - we were visiting a friend of Said's in Marrakech in the souk and they invited us up to have lunch w/ them, so we did. I'm eating (it's delicious tagine) and at the end of the meal, his friend asks (in arabic) if I know what I just ate? Said asks me... I say (curiously) "chicken?" - they all giggled.... I had just eaten rabbit!!! It was quite tasty tho, but I might have been hesitant if I had known before hand. Don't be afraid to try a new experience! My only bad one (but I'm adventurous w/ food) was eating brains... I really didn't want to but he insisted I at least taste it.... eeeewwwwwwwwwwww!!!! nastola! honestly, i'm not real sure what it tasted like, but the texture was so gross.... It *is* a delicacy there... blech!

Pigeon is called hamam (not to be confused with the word for bathroom, hamam). Pigeon is a lot smaller than chicken. Chicken is called firakh in the Egyptian dialect or dijaaj in classic Arabic. I was told what I was eating before hand. Well except for when I ate camel...I ate it and thought..wow that's some tough beef. Next day they cooked it again and told me it was camel just like I ate the day before. It didn't gross me out.

Just so you know...Egyptians don't shop like we do. They usually buy only enough food for a day or two at a time because they like fresh food. They don't have huge grocery stores like us either...well except for Carrefour or Fathallah market and maybe some other ones in Cairo.

Oh that's good to know. I usually shop for the week on Sunday and very rarely do I go back but if I do it's only for whatever I forgot when I went there in the first place. Guess we'll be doing a lot of shopping then!!! lol

LOL my hubby does that HERE!! I mean literally, he goes to the grocery store EVERYDAY (that is if he is not on a business trip).

Well...I didn't tell my family I was going until about 3 weeks before I left. They freaked. My step-dad told me Hitler should have killed the Muslims, not the Jews. He kept taking my picture before I left because "they wanted pictures to remember me by". Then...they wanted to know why he couldn't come here. (They still have no clue about immigration and we shocked when the greencard wasn't really green.)

Twila

Ummm, which restaurant? Billy Tse's????

The guy said, ' a very well known Chinese place near the beach in Revere"......it was on the Howie Carr show about four months ago. I can't think of any other place that is well known near the beach.

BUT...they do have another restaurant that we used to order from when I worked in Charlestown. Don't know where that one was.

I told a friend of mine who is married to a guy who lived near Billy Tse's in Revere and she said, "you don't even wanna know what goes on there......he has told me stories that would make your hair stand up!!!". She was not suprised at all by the seagull story.

Lets see what was i told:

Friend: Go for it

Dad: Are u sure he loves u? Do you love him? You are an adult, just be careful. Well that was then and now my dad treats us both like strangers.

Mom: A waited a long while to tell her, then she was like its dangerous, he only wants to marry you for the greencard. She called my aunts for them to try and talk me out of going...didnt work

Baby Sis: She was happy for me at that time

A pastor we knew: He was like he doesnt love u, he only wants a free ride to the US; why don't you find someone here in US(Alabama)? why dont you marry in ur own race? He also told my parents to forbid (so to speak) me to go, duh i was 31 yrs old at the time.

I am happy that I did not have any horror stories to tell!. My sister lives in Casablanca with her husband of 11 years and their four kids so there was no negative feedback from anyone. They were just all happy that I married within my religion., which is a REALLY BIG deal to my brothers.

one of the most famous questions is...are you going to turn muslim too? i just laugh at them when they ask....is it anybodys business? and how, exactly do you "turn" muslim?? wait until midnight , turn around 3 times, and poof, you're in hijab??? hmmmmmmmmm

You didn't know?

ok, 45 minutes to go and i'll be spinning around .....i'll let ya know the outcome in the morning