I voted for it only goes so far....because physical attributes are the often the first impressions we have when meeting a person but has very little to do with the person they are.

Physical attraction is very very important.. but so is everything else.. there must be a complete package.. not just a pretty girl with no brains and not a smart girl with no attraction.. My fiance is the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life .. and much much smarter then me .. so I am good to go.

I voted "must exist in the relationship"
I can't imagine not being attracted to the man i am with, i could not have sex with him if i was not attracted by his physical appearance.
As Vartan said it's the whole personn that has to attract me, the envelopp and the content.

He has to be HOT right from the start. < Thank god my bingo is too dayum HOT > cant hook up with no ugly dudes - let alone marry one.

Shon you crack me up.

I just wonder how physical attraction does not matter at all. I voted 'it must exist'.



I agree 100%.

Aren't we all 100% attracted to our chosen partners? I voted a "10". Even if your SO is not considered particularly attractive by societal standards, I would think that you find him physically attractive. Otherwise, how would that work???? I think maybe people interpreted this question in different ways.

It must be there from the start and I believe the more you love someone the more you'll be attracted to that person.
I have always been attracted to my man physically but I feel that I want him even more now then when we met.
Back then he was just another good looking man,now he is MY good looking man.And I could write an ongoing list about all the things I love about him and that attract me to him.Physically,mentally and emotionally.
I could not imagine a better man on the face of this earth.
Some may think he's NOT all that handsome but to me he is,looks and personality combined that's what counts.And by God he's got it all!
Nat

Awwww, I love your pic!

Never met anyone that stated "my other half is ugly as hell but I love him/her", looks do matter. This points to the old saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Some might find my spouse to be extremely unattractive, but to me the first time I saw him I thought he was gorgeous.

Tim and Bethanie - I have spoken with women before who knew (openly admitted) their partner was not attractive to them and didn't care. Some folks do really do search for inner beauty with no regards to the external. It's hard for me to believe too, but I just let it go. There is no denying I do believe that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" cuz when I see my Lady's booty... I be holdin' it. LOL!

vartan - We are brothers separated at birth! LOL! I feel the same... Attraction is important and must exist but so does everything else (the complete package).

Natashabrenda - That is so true. Being in love does enhance that attraction and there has to be more than physical attraction. My last girlfriend was a beautiful person inside and out but I wasn't in love with her and thus my attraction and relationship faded away. And I walked right out of her life because I wasn’t attracted to the complete package and I knew that I would hurt her in the end. Of course, she holds a grudge against me. In other words, she thinks I'm an a$#hole, but she’ll secretly thank me in the end.

jenn3539 - People do read into this question/poll in many ways. I was actually thinking... Does attraction really matter to you (you being everyone) when FIRST entering into a relationship. I have lusted for women, but when I have not been genuinely attracted to the person beyond the beauty, it has never lasted. However, I must be attracted to my partner physically as well as emotionally (the entire package) if the relationship has any hopes of surviving. I am so thankful to have my Baby because we click on every level.

Everyone - Please vote! Thanks to all for the comments.

Hahah I can't help it Uling.. while I am the complete package for my fiance.. hahahha I am so humble.. hahaha kidding

Mew-thank you.They're cuties huh?! LOL
Wouldn't trade them in for the world,the big one is bullheaded as can be and the little one is a hurricane....
Nat

I agree 100%!

it has to exsit for sure in my book!

Perhaps his wallet was prettier?

The more you get to know someone. The more attractive they become to you.


Baileyj

This is my view on things, and why I listed that it isn't a 'must'...

First thing, we're all going to grow old. Physical attraction is important early on, but sometimes you'll find you're attracted to a lot more than looks. It might be voice, mannerisms, actions. A guy can be an absolute knockout, but if he ignores you constantly and doesn't even want to put in some effort in the bedroom, then he's not going to be that attractive. In the long run, though... we all get old and wrinkly and most of us can't afford the perservatives movie stars use. By the time you're fifty, sixty years old... physical attraction is not going to matter anymore (unless you feel like constantly husband/wife hopping for some younger person, can we say sugar daddy/momma?). What matters at that point in life is someone who loves you, who can be your lifelong companion, and that has nothing to do with looks.

Yup. I'm one of the weirdos that wasn't attracted to their now future husbands when we first met. When I first saw a picture of him it wasn't a thought of "Ooh, he's hot/cute/etc!", it was more a general "Oh, so that's what he looks like.". No instant attraction. It wasn't that he was ugly, it's just that he didn't look at all like someone I would normally be attracted to, and at first I really wasn't. It was a nonissue, although in all my relationships before, it was one of the first things to come up.

I did fall in love with who he was and his looks 'grew on me' so to speak. Now I have lots of qualities in his looks that I love and am amazingly attracted to.

If I had never gotten to know him the way I did, I doubt I would be looking back at a picture of him and going 'Damn, he's a hottie.' Now, when I do, I look at them and think 'How did I not see how gorgeous he was?'.

Tim and Bethanie – LOL! A guess a fat wallet can make us all a perfect 10.

Arazia – You are so true cuz when we all get older and that booty starts sagging… Personality counts!!! LOL!!!

jezebelseven – Shame on you not thinking your future husband was not a stud muffin from the onset. Especially because we all (men) think we are anyway. LOL!

[attachmentid=2142]I personally think my husband is scrumdidliumcious!!! I'm extremely attracted to him. He's got the sexiest eyes I've ever seen...rrrrrrarrrr!

It must exist. You do not need to be attracted to my husband but I need to be. I can't imagine being with someone who repulsed me. Saying it must exist does not mean he needs to be a model with a 6 pack and killer butt....but that I need to find him attractive. When I first saw his pic I did not fall over fanning myself over his hottness lol.

cristy - I'm presuming that a six pack and a killer but wouldn't hurt. LOL!!!!

My wife is the most beautiful lady in my world. looks matter, When I first saw her in Japan 12 years ago I knew she was the one!

very true


My man is drop-dead gorgeous.................I was attracted to him immediately. That accent.............God it makes me weak in the knees Physical attraction does only go so far-but I have to admit, that I MUST be attracted to someone physically or I won't bother.

My fiance is always asking me "do you like big boobs?". I always tell her "no, you are perfect dear".

My Japanese wife said that a few times as well, she asked me if I wanted her to get breast enlargement, I said "NO WAY! you are perfect! I like her perky little figure!

I happen to think my hubster is gorgeous and I am very attracted to him physically, but I also think you can be physically attracted to someone who's not conventionally good looking. Physical attraction can be about the smell of someone's skin, the shape of a forearm, a cute butt, a voice...

I think it's important that each person is physically attracted to his or her partner, but, thankfully, this doesn't mean that only 'good looking' people get to find a partner.

Totally agree...
Looks are not everything and it's not a good idea to base a relationship on that alone. I think my husband is attractive. But I don't care if he is considered "hot" by society or not. People have all different tastes. And honestly no matter how cliche it sounds, the inside of the person is way more important to me. When you like what is inside them, it only adds to their attractiveness on the outside.

Ya, I always tell my fiance "i like it, you look like a teenager". Oops, is it legal to say that?

A definite must...

garya505 - We're on the same page. I love when my Baby puts on the school girl outfit. LOL!!! Is that legal to say? LOL!!!

I'd say it's pretty f*cking important. I know my fiance took my breath away the first time I saw him. He still does. I miss him too much though.

luvaLimey - I can sense the intensity in your words like you are ready to rip your fiancé’s clothes off RIGHT NOW!!! LOL

hahaha... well the next time I see him, anyway.

It's important, but it's not everything. I'm just lucky I got the entire package, looks and brains

i hope you mean 18 or 19!

It's not whether or not you are attracted.

It's whether or not you have chemistry.

a couple comments on this thread are down right deviant and creepy ... funny how so many were jumping all over a member photoshopping his fianceé's head into a picture, yet this thread goes untouched.

gimygirl - What thread are you referring too? By the by, I love your quote... "Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway!" PRICELESS!!!

I voted that it matters very little. Looks are superficial. A person can be drop dead gorgeous and be empty inside, heartless and cruel. But hey, this is only MY opinion...not the "gospel" truth.

Well, the question was whether it's important that you're attracted to the person you're in a relationship with. If you're in a relationship with someone, it's unlikely that you think they're empty, shallow or plain stupid. It is a combination of physical attraction, personality/values, things in common. It's true that you can be attracted to someone after you've get to know them, even if you weren't when you first met. But then again, you become attracted to them sooner or later. No?

Mew

I would not have even learned about D and his personality had I not been initially attracted to him.

I think my answer still applies. If you enter a relationship, you don't hang around waiting to feel attracted to the person you're entering a relationship with. Like, you can be friends with someone for the longest time and then something changes, attraction sparkles and you enter into a relationship.

Mew - There are no real right or wrong answers, views, or prospectives. I have personally never bought the whole, all of a sudden friends become attractive thing then become lovers. It’s suppressed lust that blossomed into a sexual explosion. LOL!

You might be right about that. I have entered into a relationship with someone I didn't find attractive at first and it didn't work out. But then, different people, different situations... it might work for others.

Mew - True very true... Call me superficial, but if there is no attraction, my attention span is gone fairly quickly. Maybe I have an Attraction Attention Disorder (AAD). That could be something the FDA will make up as a disorder so they can corner the market on a new drug.

ALL – If you must have an attraction to your mate, you may suffer from AAD. Talk to your doctor, s/he can help. LOL!!!

Cheers!!!

I can only speak about my own experience, but having met my soulmate on the internet, it was all about personality first. Remember that song of Savage Garden's..."I knew I loved you before I met you"? We fell in love, after chatting for months and countless hours. We had exchanged a few pictures, but our attraction was felt WAY before we saw each other, and as well, before we saw any good pictures. I know myself, being a plus-size woman, I didn't think many men would be interested in me. But my soon to be husband thinks I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. My inner beauty transforms the outter beauty perhaps. I can honestly say that if I saw my love in a restaruant or bar, I would be physically intrigued by him...but would I think upon first sight he was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen? No. He certainly is to me now. But only for the inner beauty, warmth, and love that we share.

Just my opinion...

Carla