For the girls that have their SO's here now :

How has your babysitting been going ? Is he on his feet ? What has been the easiest ? What has been the hardest ?


Well for me Ali has been here for 3 months now and AL HAMDULLAH life has gotten soooooo much easier. It was so hard at first. Ali is definately on his feet. He is working full time, just got a raise, and is now looking at another company where he can make double. He got his licence this week and it has been soo nice that I don't have to drive him everywhere anymore.

The easiest thing was just him being a good husband. He is the best husband in the world and I seriously feel so greatful to have such a man in my life. Al hamdullah.

The hardest thing has been the driving him around .. but now that that's over I would say still his ennglish. He starts collge courses next week (4 nights a week !) and hopefully things will pick up from there.

sounds wonderful LB... glad everything is working out for you both. Mabruk!
Noura

LOL @ "babysitting"....

Mahmoud hit the ground running. He had his international driver's license when he arrived, and he used that until he got his Texas license. We bought a second car for him before he arrived, so he was able to hop right in and go where he needed to go. He learned his way around pretty quickly, and has become pretty handy looking up addresses on Yahoo maps . (He only got lost a couple of times, and we always keep our cell phones close by, just in case.)

Filling out all the paperwork required for just about everything -- job applications, bank accounts, driver's license applications, etc. -- this was something new for him, and it drove him crazy at first. But now he's used to it. Almost everyone he's met has been really nice to him -- they always ask where he is from, and when he tells them "Palestine," they give a big smile and say "ohhhhhh" and want to shake his hand. Often, people will want to talk about politics, and he was very surprised at how many tell him they support the Palestinians in their struggle.

Getting his Texas driver's license was a major accomplishment -- he studied so hard for it. Of course he knows all the traffic laws perfectly well -- they are almost exactly the same in Palestine. But they use such convoluted English in the Texas driver's manual -- it was really difficult for him to decipher. (The Department of Public Safety really needs to hire an actual writer to translate it into clear language !) I know some cities offer the test in Arabic, but not here. But he passed with flying colors -- when he took the road test, the guy said "Oh... your name is Mahmoud ?? Kief haaaaaalak !!!

He still hears or reads new words and says "What that mean ?" a lot, but I don't let it annoy me -- I am so happy and lucky to have his sweet voice in real and not on long-distance telephone. Really I am so blessed to have the most wonderful husband I could ever find in all the world.

I join in that I too, have the best husband in the world. He never looked back and was eager to learn everything he could and share what he can. He and I have now been married 14 months. He studied hard for his driver's license (he had never driven) and then when he took the exam they could take it in any language. He has his new car and gets around just fine. He got the first job he interviewed for and has had two raises since then. He helps around the house all the time, loves to cook, have fun, knows how to take care of the checking account and bills, and can come visit me for lunch at work He is open to everything and we talk non-stop and make sure we have things clear. He took ESL classes for as long as he could for reinforcement and is getting along so well. As to our language, I am try to help him keep up with the slang. I didn't realize we use so much, like wanna, betcha and more lol, he is catching on real fast. He comes home with the words to ask, what the heck is this and I fill in the best I can He has made good friends and has "perfect" days at work (wish I could too). His attitude is the best and there was no babysitting on my part. He has made things so easy, or maybe we both have. The immigration process was a long and hard at many times but we made it through. Life is so good!!! I love my husband more and more each day. Dreams come true, ours did.


Doreen

Great stories, ladies! Inshallah when my husband gets here things will be relatively easy on us too.

When I first saw this I thought I was in big trouble!

When Hicham got here I called it babysitting because we did every little thing together... and I had to teach him what to get at the store such as meats and not pork and stuff like that.

I honestly cannot believe how well he has already adjusted. Like I said he got a job after being here for a week and a half. I would not have been able to do as well as he is doing seeing as he had never left Morocco in his life! He is doing great and I am really proud of him and how well he is doing. It feels like he has been here forever it's so weird! I think he is secretly American.

K take care guys!

Sarah

Guess my husband's the only one who hasn't had the easiest of times.

I doubt that!

Hicham is happy to work, but it is hard work and as he has never worked before it is straining him and he is really tired all the time! I have a feeling thngs will be difficult in the future as well with certain things.

Believe me, you're not. I know there are several people here who don't express when things aren't going peachy keen, hunky doery, myself included.

I'm very glad that so many people are doing well. Unfortunately, for us life isn't a fairy tale. There's no "and they lived happily ever after."

That makes sense. Not to mention that admitting your SO is not necessarily "in love with the U.S." leaves you open to all of the "well then go back to (insert MENA country here)" comments.

That's right. I think it's funny that people rarely say if anything goes wrong or if they have problems in their relationship or whatever. I guess people don't like to show any faults or weakness.

Hicham and I have had our share of problems but they are mostly personal and I dont like to sound whiney or share each time something "goes wrong"

We had a major crisis when Hicham got here but it's very personal so that's that!

Things haven't been perfect for us, either, but I hope a turn-around is in the works.

I spent a year living in Paris with no job and applied for the K-1 immediately when I got back to the US. I moved back in with my parents for a bit to help save some money because I have a ton of debt racked up from my time in Paris. I've had a lot of expenses, some expected, and some unexpected, so I haven't been able to make as much headway as I'd hoped. We're still living with my parents at the moment, which strains things a bit, but we've been apartment-hunting for a while and are hoping to find something soon.

When Amed got here, we were both so ecstatic for that first week or two, we walked around in a rosy fog. However, we quickly had to work around all of the daily practicalities such as social security number, marriage license, all of the AOS forms, the fact that he hasn't been able to get his DL yet because of stupid red tape, etc. He didn't have a job for the first 6 weeks, and that made him feel down, and he was twiddling his fingers at home, not able to really do anything without a car and license. My dad was around a bit, so he did some things with him, but by the time I got home from work, Amed was ready to go out and do something with me since he had been stuck at home all day. I was so tired from having worked all day, I never felt much like going out. So there was some back-and-forth with that.

He finally got a job, and his AOS was put on the fast track (or so we think- there's still some confusion over that that I've been ranting about over in the AOS forum), so things have been better. Once we actually get his greencard or some other document, he'lll be able to apply for his license, which will help a TON.

We're ok with each other, and my family loves him and he loves my family, but I think sometimes he wishes we would have stayed in France. He can't get over the healthcare system here, and refuses to ever go to the doctor (even though he has insurance). He says he can't see paying $2000 out of pocket for doctor's visits and the like because he's always lived places where healthcare has been pretty much free.

He doesn't like the fact that you pretty much have to have a car to go everywhere, and that taxes take so much off the top of every paycheck.

However, these are all things that I don't particularly like, either, so I think that's normal. We're both opening to moving at some point, and there's still plenty of stuff to keep us busy in the meantime.

As far as hand-holding, I do quite a bit of it, but most of it is simply due to the fact that he doesn't have a US license, so I have to drive him everywhere. He has taken the bus a couple of times, but it stops pretty far from our house so I don't like to make him take that too often if I can help it.

Mostly, we're just happy to finally be with each other and know that there won't be any more of the awful airport good-byes. I think once the greencard arrives, he gets his license, and we find a place to live, we'll be on the right track.

i am glad everything is going so well for you and good luck with your pregnancy.... i hope you dont have morning sickness

Yep the driving around thing is hard. Hicham told me today he is getting a bike... I was like ok!!

It's tough I feel like a soccer Mom (especially whe I drive him to play soccer), but I am hoping he can get a drivers license soon enough.

I second that Rahma...we had our days and at times I feel like pulling my hair out....but every day things get better and no matter what we still love each other and I think both are committed to make it work...I hope...
Dorothy

Mustapha will be baby sitting me inshallah when I go to lebanon in a couple of weeks. I'm going to be clingy and annoying. I know how your husbands must have felt. It's terryfing and exciting. Your leaving everyone and everything behind. Your friends and your family. Yet it is a whole new adventure. And we get to live in the same country...YYYEEEEPPPEEEE.

I definitly did my share of babysitting and still catch myself here and there doing some things, but all in all...im so proud of sofyan...
When we first got home, there were no days of "rosy fog" because we had already been together the whole year in jordan, so we went right at it....the hardest thing for me was I had Jet-Lag soooooo bad, and the stomach problems, so Not only was i in the emergency room the night we landed, but i was a walking puking zombie for 4 days due to jet lag...after i was feeling better....we did ALOT of driving around, SS Card, license, etc...but then I was forced to go back to work.....Thank God.....only 2 months after him being here he has a better income than most americans....he is selling cars, and he is darn good at it....he has his own car, and has learned his sense of direction pretty good, but sometimes gets lost and has to pick up his phone....I never really got frustrated by it...the only thing i did was the money situation, but that ended fast and were well off, alhumdullah! His english gets better day by day as does his sense of blending into the american world...Im darn proud of my sofyan...I couldnt have asked for a better husband

My fiance' husband is adjusting well to the US; he's learned to take the subway by himself, got a full-time job, registered in intensive English lessons, etc... but he still can't communicate in English, so I often have to translate/speak for him. One particular incident of "babysitting" happened a few days ago when I brought him to the barbershop -- he needed a haircut and *I* had to explain to the guy what he wanted, how much shorter, etc. The barber would periodically ask me to come over and take a look and he'd ask me "Is this good? Not short enough?" etc. lol

I have to admit I was kind of embarassed and I felt like a mother bringing her 6-year-old son to get his hair cut before school starts up lol

there was no babysitting on my end... however my husband had immigrated to Canada 1 year prior to meeting me. he had the experience prior. i don't really care for the term *babysitting* although i know its meant to be tongue in cheek.

Rahma, I believe you will have your happily ever after, it will just take a while

I DEFINITELY understand all the work that has gone into getting our loved ones on their feet.

I had to explain our entire daily life to him, be the breadwinner, his chauffer LOL...

then on top of it all he was clingy, insecure, and in culture shock... but now it's funny how life is ...

He has a good job, has his own friends, and is 99% independant of me, and I miss how I was needed so much, asking for my confirmation of this and that all the time.

So the grass is always greener I guess.... but now it will be my turn, I will start classes next month and he will be the bill checking, breadwinner, etc... Everyone has their problems.... I just remember that I prayed for this, made a commitment and remember how close he is to my son and daughter, how hard he tries to make me happy, he is such a hard worker and I love him for that. We have known each other for 2 years now, and I don't regret any of it.

There was nothing easy about it ..but wouldn't trade him for the world...there are things we totally disagree on but since all those things are personal, I am not able to discuss those things...therefore, leaving only good things to talk about.....and yeah, there are still lots and lots of good things

My fiance is not here yet but I am always thinking "will he like it here?". I live in Brooklyn and commute on the subway to Manhattan for work. When I walk home from the subway I look around my residential neighborhood and think "it looks better than his neighborhood in Athens" so that is OK. I look around my apartment and think "it's pretty and I have plenty of room" so that will be OK. Then I look at my commute and cringe. I can't even understand the conducters announcements on the subway when they decide to go express, skip a stop, sick passenger delay, re routing trains, how they hell will he??? But I think that will be the only problem. He loves TV and 300 stations here compared to 6 in Athens, he will love it. We are 1/2 hour away from Astoria (Little Greece) and that will make him happy to "Cous Cous" with his fellow people and he has an Uncle and cousins here that he can visit. So I think the subway is the only thing for him that will be difficult. His family plans on hiring him for work so that is great. So, we shall see. He is a quick learn and I crack up when I hear him speak to me using my slang and the same sayings. So, Brooklyn bound, here he comes. God BLESS HIM!! Hahahaha!!