I agree. A board that dealt with divorce, cancelling visas/petitions/AOS etc would be very helpful to some members. I'd also like to see a board for scams... I find them morbidly interesting.

My thoughts on a divorce forum here on VJ...well whether we all care to admit or not, divorce is reality some of us may face after enduring this painful excruciating process of visa wait times, documentation, etc.. There are a myriad of reasons that people have for deciding to get a divorce after the visa process because the reality is you really dont know someone or rather a person gets to see another side of his or her significant other once they live under the same roof and may discover somethings that in the end become irreconcilable differences... The divorce rate in America is hard to ignore whether they have gone thru the visa process or not....

I think that this site should include a divorce forum because its a reality that some of us may end up facing and a harsh reality that some of us are facing now but have no support system on here to turn to for advice.

Hopefully if this divorce forum is created those who do post their experieces will not face too much scrutiny by others on here who tend have a quick tongue and make snap judgments or encounter only those who like to ruffle people's feathers for their own pleasure because then it would just end up being a bullying forum which defeats the whole purpose of being a place to share information and experiences, and ends being an online forum which closely resembles a Jerry Springer episode!

Whether a person decides to participate in the divorce forum, if it should be created on here, is up to the individual...If this site wants to be inclusive and open to anyone who has gone thru the visa experience, then I am afraid to say that divorce ends up being a part of some people's visa experiences. It would definitely be an eye-opener for people who are about to embark on this visa journey and read and learn about all facets of the marriage, engagement, paired with the visa process which entails the good, the bad and the ugly...

This thread brings up a lot of issues, answers some questions and presents new questions.

First, I know now why Yodrak never post smilies--sorry about the unhappy marriage. Been there done that etc. Hang in there Yodrak.
Second, for many people on VJ divorce is the happy beginning of the journey and not the unhappy end. That is they divorce their current spouse in order to marry a non-USC.
Third, there are extra issues when you are divorced--you must get divorce decrees and prior marriage certificates. Each state has different laws regarding divorce and marriage etc. And each country has laws regarding marriages in cases of divorces. Also the consulate staff seem to pay extra scrutiny during the interview in cases of divorce.
Fourth, what if the alien spouse is the one divorced--and what if there is children of a prior marriage--then there could be cases of adoption or signing away parental rights. I know some countries require a biological parent or prior spouse to sign permission for the alien spouse to immigrate to the USA with his/her children. So this could also be addressed in the cases of divorce with children and visa sponsorship.
Fifth, those that post in the divorce forum should earn broken purple hearts instead of the normal red ones.

I agree about the issues with getting a divorce before being able to start your visa journey. I was divorced for a while before I even met my fiance BUT the hoops I had to jump thru to get my divorce decree notarized by all the proper figures and all that before I could use it in his country to marry him was unreal. (this was of course when the original plan was to marry over there--before that fell through.)
Hopefully I won't need the divorce forum ever in the future

I suppose if the site was still member operated suggestions like these would be implemented a whole lot faster.

I really like this idea & JenT's title. And not all Divorce issues are sad, as someone said upthread, and it might be a good place for people to be able to ask around people who are divorced or whose K-1s didn't work out:

1) What do we need to do if either of us has been married before?
2) The relationship didn't work out before we married. What now?
3) We married and it turned out my foreign fiancé is defrauding me. What now?
4) We married and my U.S. spouse is abusive. What do I do?
5) We just had stars in our eyes. Now what?

It might be good, in the subtitle-description area, to indicate that all of those areas are covered. And I wouldn't worry about scaring off newbies; that's like not telling them the timeline so they don't get discouraged.

I think a forum based on difficulties occurring because of cultural differences would be real helpful.

Unfortunally divorces happen, and people like us that marry people from other countries will most likely have issues regarding it. I think it's not very nice to have a divorce forum, but it's definitly needed, although I pray that I won't ever set my foot in there.

Statistically your odds are 50%. And why is administration still pull their feet on implementing this forum?

I think the regional forums are good for that.

This one is a great idea. Even when crap was hitting the wall, my accounts were being drained ,I still had those stars in my eyes. However, it took finding written evidence of his plans to wake me up. Now the questions is. What steps to take when things go bad?

As someone going through a divorce I think some forum of some kind is warrented. I am kind of worried though that it is going to end up being a free for all when really it should stay on the issues at hand. If people are going through the early stages of divorce (before the AOS interview) then things should be pretty simple, even at the AOS interview things can be changed. It is after this when things between couples start to change, so a balance is needed, maybe finding out all the Facts that are needed. Also the difficulty is that different states have different divorce laws, so the main advice is to seek an immagration lawyer, this is sometimes difficult when you have spent all your money on the immagration process and if you are still at the AOS stage then maybe you have not got your EAD yet, with only one person working this can also prove to be an option that gets thrown out of the window.

Janice

I think it's a great idea - especially as this board gets older, more members, and - sadly - more relationships don't work out.

In contrast, I think it would be nice to have a forum for married couples to share stories, where couples could seek advice..

Bill

Good idea. Count me in.

Bill,

Moving Here and Your New Life in America?

Yodrak

How is demand going for this? Ok it looks like. If so where would I create this forum? I hesitate to make it a forum on the Main Page as it carries a somewhat pessimistic message. The content I am sure will be valuable however I am not certain on the location if we do create it...

you can create the forum in :

A.... among the polls - who really needs to see it.

B.. if you must place it some place.. how about in the
MOVING TO AMERICA.

General Immigration Discussion
Below Waivers Forum

That helps send the message that this forum is for the discussion of the *immigration implications* of divorce, not the place for marital counseling.

Captain Ewok,

I like meauxna's suggestion. The General Immigration section is where most of the questions get posted now, in the AOS and Removal of Conditions forums.

Yodrak

So, who is going to write up the FAQ and ferret out the right links?

Not volunteering myself, but I've got someone in mind <koffDMkoff>.

How about somewhere in the General Discussion Area near the Moving Here and Your New Life In America forum ?

mo,

Gotta tickle?

<g>
Gotta cough drop?

I ended a 33 year marriage.... I word of advise......WORK IT OUT! No matter who wants it..it hurts both sides..
The light at the end of my tunnel..is my Veronica.,.. and she has shown me how real women act..and how much they show their love...

SO I agree... We need a Forum..based on Marriage ups and Downs... including calling it quits....

Like Chris (Chris-N-Veronica) I was married for 28 years. I do not totally agree with "stay and work it out" idea. This is okay to a point. I spend WAY TOO LONG "staying and trying to work it out", about 10 years of counseling, both individual and maritial together with my wife. I did learn a lot, but I also learned if there are no significant positive results of "staying and working it out" within about 18 months to two years, get out! It will not get better. An after I met my Irina from Russia, I really found out what love from a women is really like! ! ! ! I now wish, I had not spent more than 12 months "staying and trying to work it out". After receiveing the love and affection from Irina, it became painfully obviously that my ex-wife was very dysfunctional and there was never any hope of change that would make my life fulfilled and happy.

But back to the point of this thread...I am fully in favor of a Immigration related divorce forum.

I think it is healthy and educational, even for newbies, paticularly for newbies, to see what the reality can be and should be fully aware of the consequenses of making a poor choice or being defrauded, which can easily be done int the starry-eyed stage of a relationship. And, in my great state of South Carolina, the divorce laws are so terrible (worst in the USA), that you must understand what you may be in for in the event that things do not turn out for the best. Paticularly in immigration related marriage, most are coming from a very different culture and may not be able to adjust before wreaking havoc on the relationship. And I suspect that many are in my situation where I have everything to lose and she has everything to gain, if the marriage will fail. This is a big consideration for me to decide to get married.

So lets get this new forum started! ! !

Devereux

working on it as we speak

It's about time, I don't think it would have taken Steve this long to put up a new forum.

meowwwwwwww..........

That's not very nice.

It's not a matter of just putting up another place to post questions.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showforum=127



I thought it was prudent to expand a little on the topic of divorce to any major change in a family that may impact immigration related benefits (i.e. including the loss of life of the petitioning party as well as divorce).

Must have been thinking alike. I was finding it difficult to restrict Q and As simply to divorce situations.

oooh I love the bright, shiny new forum

Captain Ewok,

Yes. Well done and worth the wait.

Thank you.

Yodrak