Hmmmm.... OK so you're here... what's the update already????????

I know what I through personally while I lived all those months in Egypt. You can be quite the happy little camper and it still messes you up until you adjust. Open communication helps a lot, especially if its honest and not taken personally... you can talk your way through a lot.

Glad it helped. There are a lot of good sites about culture shock online. I just grabbed the first one. Worth doing a google on it.



I know I've experienced on long travel and seems i always have a little culture shock when returning home! I am just so happy when away

I have to quit laughing and add my 2cents.
in pakistan my husband provided TP for me. sooooooo why not provide his watering deal.
as far as pakistani TV. My husband dont watch bollywood. he cant stand it.
he gets HBO in pakistan. I have lived in other countries and I certainly rember me adjusting to American life - that will add to how my Bingo will adjust.
my added advise is 2 things..

1... if he wanna go to see his family allow him to - not be bychen about it!
2... allow him to make phone calls to his family- dont treat him like a kid!

I have seen couples argue no matter what country you are from- about those 2 things! one thing when I lived overseas when I wanted to be home for 2 or 3 months I was given that opportunity. I certainly will encourage that to my husband.

I've lived in the Southern US for over 15 years now, and I think I'm still in culture shock. Maybe I need to move north for a while again.

I know that it is difficult to adjust to different country but I think it is the concious effort that counts and I miss that from my husband...he is not trying...just complaining...
Dorothy

Sorry to bump an old thread, but I suppose this topic is always helpful.

I just thought of another little tip - take some time to explain the concept and process of insurance to your SO when he arrives. I've been beating my head against the wall because Wadi has what seems to be a fundamental distrust of our auto insurance company (hmmm, I wonder why? ) and it's making things difficult. He doesn't seem to understand that the various steps of the claims process are obligatory and not "if you think it's necessary". Ok, end rant. Just a tip to help you avoid banging your head against the wall when the time comes....

My father is from CA and feels the same way about insurance.....he says it's betting you WILL get in an accident, die, become dismembered....lol, crazy curmudgeon.

One thing i had to explain other night thru computer was i told him i had been to the DRUG STORE he returned asked drug store, i replied yes he ask THAT IS ACCEPTABLE THERE? so i can see much to explain here also

LMAO

bump

thanks doodle, bumping this thread brought back some fun memories of laughing with you all!
one thing I've found makes for a good day is if I make coffee for him. He really appreciates it and it makes him smile . He doesn't demand it, nor does he request it. I just like doing it for him. If he wakes before me, he will make me coffee so its all fair.

*bump*

wow, great thread!!

haha...i was reading the posts from the beginning and i looked up at the date for one of them and i was like "holy crap!! 2006??..how the hell did i end up here???"...hahaha....now i realize that it was *bumped* haha...anyway, thanks for posting all these great tips!! i really can't get over cleanbutt.com ..that's so funny!!

i was trying to think of what i can add to the list...but i think you've all covered it pretty well...

since day one, my husband's been asking questions on his own...he knows exactly what to expect, he's just really nervous and worried....like, about work for example...he's currently a project/site manager [civil engineer]....and he knows he can't get a job like that from the start here...so he's mentally preparing himself...hmm...what else??

I think it'll it'll be easy to adjust for him...plus, his sister and her husband lived here for over 10 years, so they have friends that he can get to know and my entire family is here, so he won't feel so away from home...the biggest thing is food though...i need to learn how to cook the way his mom does!! haha...its so hard cooking a traditional MENA meal after you've been dieting for years!! lol...it's just so different!..but i'm willing to do anything and everything...i just want him here with meeee!!!

Hi Everybody,

Very interesting info and tips to keep in mind! Thanks, and thanks for reviving the old thread.

Here's my question:

For those of you who are working (or were working at the time that your SO came over), did you take any time off to help him/her adjust? How did you balance work, which is obviously important as the soul breadwinner (at least in the beginning), and your SO's cultural adjustment--finding his way around, finding a job, going to English classes?

Just curious for some ideas.

Thanks,
hz

yes thank you!!!!

I did take time off...and I think it was a mistake! I think they need to arrive here and see what real life is ..not a vacation! I think that you living in NYC will be a huge advantage (I also used to live there and stupidely moved to CA right before my SO arrived). You can teach your husband to easily use the subways, give him maps of the city, and take him to Astoria and go to Moroccan restaurants, cafes, bakeries, etc. when he gets homesick!

I also signed my husband up for ESL at our local community college. I highly recommend that!

I took nearly two weeks off when he first got here and it was kind of a waste. We did nothing.

How did I balance work and my SO's cultural adjustment? I worked the same amount of hours as always and pretty much did the same as always. He couldn't work for nearly 5 months so that sucked. When he did finally start working he really eased right into it. He works for Arabs so I guess that helped.

I'm sorry I really have no advice or tips. Everyone is different so all I can say is, play it by ear.

Thanks, Sereia!
Yes, i hope living in NYC is an advantage... At least there are a lot of Arabic-speaking people here and a lot of Middle Eastern cultural spots, so i'm hoping that if we get the visa, that will help. i just know how overwhelmed and frustrated i was when i moved to Rabat (and Rabat is soooo calm in comparison to NYC!).

He's definitely going to need ESL classes, too... So much to think about...

Happy Valentine's,
hz

Interesting... maybe that's all there is to it, right?
i mean what can we do? We have to work...

You are in Detroit, no? There are a lot of Arabs in Detroit, so hopefully that helped some.

Thanks for the insight!
hz

I guess I should mention... although areas of Astoria (near Steinway) are highly Egyptian and Moroccan populated... I've heard from countless people that I should keep my husband away from those people (other than us going together to eat/smoke hookah) because apparently they're not the kind of Arabs that our husbands should be kept around. Even one of the Moroccan immigrants I met there who owns a travel agency told me to keep him far away! LOL

Yes, I've heard the same about some of the Nepalis in Jackson Heights - the wannabe 'gangsta' guys in the leather jackets, sunglasses, usually smoking... I'm not too worried about Govi starting to hang out with them though because he avoided those types in KTM as well - if he wants someone to speak Nepali with I know some other nice, straight-arrow Nepali friends he can chat with.

Yay! Thanks Noura, this was the thread I was referring to!

Hahaha!
Good to know, because i had no idea.
i may have to scope it out before i send Habibi out into the wilds.

Thanks!
hz

lol...bay ridge is another place in nyc...full of arabs...

i know what you mean about astoria and steinway...lol....bay ridge is probably the same thing---but it depends on where you're going....if your hubby's muslim and is interested in going to the mosque for the friday prayer, he'll probably enjoy it very much and there shouldn't be anything to worry about...it's different from a cafe at night...i mean, a different crowd...i don't mean everyone at the mosque is perfect or the opposite about those at the cafes...but, you know what i mean. i'm sure it's also easy to find an arab church in the area.

good luck

Your husband should forward his transcripts so you can have them evaluated. If he can be licensed here based on his education abroad, he may still be able to work as an engineer. But he may have to sit for an exam. That's the only thing I can think of. go to wes.com or maybe it's .org. It's the world evaluation services.

i'm currently trying to figure all that out too. my husband graduated from college as an engineer in morocco but i don't know what to do next. !@#$%^ we've typed up an american style engineer resume (he's only done internships and gone to school) but do companies REALLY check if you graduated from an accredited university? is it completely necessary to do the wes or other company similar? i wish there were other people on here who've gone through this already... maybe i'll post about it in offtopic.

thanks for the info! we did that a few months back, but we used ece--educational credential evaluators....but wes was one of the top three we were choosing from..thank God--his bachelors is equivalent to a bachelors here! and he also has been working for a few years...we were worried that he'd have to take extra courses to make up for his bachelors--but, thank God, we know that he can go for his masters without a problem--but my only issue now is finding a job...i started looking and i see a lot of openings for civil engineers and most of them say that only a BS in Engineering and around 5 years of experience is required....but i hear about all these exams and it freaks ME out...lol..he's not here yet...he's still working on his resume and once he has it done--i'll start applying for jobs... this stuff makes me crazy i wish i could just move to egypt!! lol



i have a friend whose father has been living here for over 20 years and got his masters from an american college and has worked many many many jobs with no problem and he went to apply for a job recently and was asked to evaluate his bachelors to verify that he had a high school diploma---or something very similar to that--it was very ridiculous!...if you don't want to do it now, you can wait on it...but have all the documents ready, just in case a potential employer asks that you have it done later...

another thing with the evaluation is that every employer may have a company that they're more comfortable with...my hsuband and i took the chance of using ece and if a future employer wants us to pay another $200 to get his degree evaluated elsewhere--i guess that's what we'll have to do...we just wanted to get an idea early on--we were worried he'd need courses and figured he could take care of them at the american university in cairo as opposed to waiting for his visa and jumping right into school here...

i actually emailed an employer a few months back and asked whether they accepted engineers with foreign degrees---i explained my husband's education level and work experience and the employer told me to send in his resume...that's a good sign i think...

i don't know, i'm just praying that everything goes well...and if he absolutely has to sit for an exam--i hope it is easy for him...

well, best of luck!!

It really does depend, but most engineers have to be licensed in NYS, which requires an education evaluation of foreign education. So, if you're not licensed and the company is going to sponsor you for licensure then they want to see that you meet all the requirements for licensure. Perhaps your state doesn't require licensure.