I had going through something that I don't wish anybody here had to go thought.
I dated my present wife for about 2 years (I was here and she was in Brazil), going to see her almost every month for a weekend. Everything were fine, we decided to get married, I applied to K1 visa, everything went right, and on February 2006 she came here with her daughter (6 year old).
Two weeks after that we got married and everything were fine. On May she decided to send her daughter back to Brazil, she told me that her daughter wasn't adapting here, she was missing her dad, and she (my wife) could concentrate on find a job without worry about where to live her daughter. That was a temporary situation, and her plans were to bring her daughter back at the end of the year. I didn't like the idea, but I had to take her daughter back to Brazil.
After that, my wife changed completely, started going out with other girl friends hers, until on May 20 (Saturday) she stayed all night out (come back home 5:00 am). That was it for me, at that same morning I asked her to pack her stuff and live my house, and that our marriage was over and I would put a stop to the green card process. She became very upset and started to push me, pushing me against the coffee table, where I felled over and I broke the table. I got up and pushed her back telling her to stop that.
After that she told me that she wasn't living home, and I decided to go to the local police.
I explain the situation to a police officer that we had an argument, we pushed each other, and I didn't want this nonsense to go forward. The police officer noted the scratch that I had on my hand (result from my fall over the coffee table) and told me to make a complain of "domestic violence" against her, and she would go to jail.
I didn't have the heart to do that, and I told the P.O. that I would try to resolve the situation using other ways, and I left the police department.
Back home I told her that I had a conversation with the police, and then she decided to live, but that she need more time to find a place to stay.
At that day she left (at the middle of the morning), taking all of her personal belongs.
At 7:00 pm somebody knocks the front door, and when I open the door, I got arrested by the local police. She had made a complain (domestic violence) against me, with a restraining order to. After two hours I got of the jail (paying $500 bail), but I couldn't go back home, and I had 15 minutes to pick up my stuff from home.
After couple weeks we had our first court date (for the restraining order), and she told the judge her side of what happened at the day (I don't want to give much detail on that, but making a long history short, she lied about me being violent with her, the police couldn't find any marks on her).
To the judge was very clear that she was making the history up and dismisses the case against me.
My lawyer told me that she was trying to use the "domestic violence" against me to keep the green card, but she could succeed, because she didn’t have the green card approved as yet (she jump the gun).
I am requesting the annulment of our marriage, and I need to put a stop on the green card process.

DOS ANYBODY KNOW WHAT EXACTLY I HAVE TO DO TO STOP THE PROCESS?

I'm sorry, but I don't have any advice for you. I really just wanted to say I'm sorry you had to go through this!

I am so sorry to hear that this has happened to you... I would make an onfopass appointment at your local office and talk to the immigration officer.... tell them what has happened and show them the paperwork from the court they should be able to help you try to sort this out....

Good Luck

Kezzie

Just to clarify, Kezzie meant Infopass, dont want to confuse you more
I'm sorry about your situation.

Opps... sorry about the typo....

Kezzie

Luiz,

Have a consultation with an immigration attorney to review the specific facts of your situation and get some guidance on what options you might have and how you could best pursue them.

Then have a consultation with a divorce lawyer. Protecting your income and assets in divorce procedings will likely have more effect on you than your wife's immigration procedings.

Yodrak

I agree with the other posters and write a letter and send it to all involve DHS, INS, local D.O., etc so that your case is documented. Good luck I wish you the very best. I hope that this will not happen to anyone else but of course it will.

Peter Miami

I already did that, and they told me that I have to write a letter to the Chicago Office asking to withdraw the process.

Write a letter to the USCIS office asap and advise them of cancelling / withdrawing the AOS, due to possible fraud on your wifes behalf..

Remember to include info such as your case number..

If you know your local district office, I would write to them as well and also book and INFOPASS appointment, if convenient..

Then that is all that you need to do... make sure you keep copies of the letter you send...

Kezzie

I have a lawyer on my divorce (it isn't exactly a divorce, but an annulment), because our marriage is only three months, the marriage can be canceled and she has no rights to my assets.
About a lawyer for the immigration, I already expended tons of money on criminal layer and the divorce lawyer, and I am trying to avoid another lawyer.

you did have an Affidavit of Support though, right? This is why Yodrak is suggesting speaking with an Immigration Attny THEN a divorce lawyer.

Sorry to hear of your problem!!!!!

Sounds to me like you probably should have kept your hands to yourself when your wife, who probably is at least 50 pounds lighter, several inches shorter and a whole lot less stronger than you, decided to push your helpless, pathetic self against the coffee table.

Sounds like she knew you were a hot-head and it wouldn't be hard to make a domestic violence charge stick.

I've been 'pushed' before. Wah. Sorry you don't get any sympathy from me.

There are some non-profit organizations that can provide you with some legal advice regarding the immigration part of your problem.

I am really sorry this happened, and I wish you good luck in the future...

I rest my case.

Just do as the Immigration officer at the infopass appointment told you to do and write to Chicago, keeping all copies of letters you write. You said you spoke to a divorce lawyer and a criminal lawyer, did you not have the sense to ask them what to do about the situation??

Janice

what makes me wonder is..

is your wife (or ex wife now?) went out everynight? with her girlfirends?

I dont know.. i'm sorry to hear that you and her had a bad time together.. but for me my husband would be happy if i even have a girlfriend to go out with... may be not everynight but he wouldnt mine me go out with my girlfriends until 5am sometimes (my friend likes to go out to eat after the club close.. and i'd be falling asleep at the table ) Have you talked to her about this behavior before you tell her to pack her thing? Did she have a habit of going out like this while she was in Brazil?.. I'm sorry if this seems a bit personal.. dont have to asnwer.. just ignore me

oh.. i had a Brazilian friends before (they were int he US) and they would be out partying all night or just doing somthing after the bar close.. i couldnt keep up with them!! but they are fun

lal_brandow,

Actually it's not - I suggested the immigration lawyer first because Luiz posted an immigration question and immigration advice is what he wants to hear at the moment. I threw in the divorce attorney afterwards because that's probably the more important issue for him to be concerned about and I didn't want him to overlook it. (At this point immigration has become his wife's problem, not his.)

But, he seems to be on the ball in that regard.

Yodrak

ok gotcha. just kinda zoned in on the Aff of Support thingy.

That is sad and I am sorry that happened to you. keep the faith all things work our for a reason

Im sorry to hear that. hope your problems get solved.

I was cleared from the domestic violence case, because wasn't no violence. Her charges has been dismissed by the judge. My question here is for the immigration part of the problem. But I appreciate your input any way.

I was cleared from the domestic violence case, because wasn't no violence. Her charges has been dismissed by the judge. My question here is for the immigration part of the problem. But I appreciate your input any way.



I was cleared from the domestic violence case, because wasn't no violence. Her charges have been dismissed by the judge. My question here is for the immigration part of the problem. But I appreciate your input any way.



Those lawyer don't know about immigration laws




The problem it isn't staying all night out, but lying about who she was with. I didn't want to make a book to explain the entire situation.

If you have spent all this money on criminal and immigration attorneys, made INFOPASS appointment, etc., .....why are you posting here asking questions??? They didnt explain things to you??

DF, maybe he's just venting and want's a little support. I think for the most part he has received that support.

Luiz, sorry to hear about your situation. It does seem like you were used and taken advantage of. I hope you can sort everything out and move on with your life.

Sounds like someone is letting their own past experiences colour their reply to this one. Perpetual Victim Syndrome, and all that. He sounds very sincere. The judge agreed with him, which rarely happens in my experience. Yet you assume that HE was the aggressor. All men are aggressors. I keep forgetting that.

Perpetual Victim? Gee, that sounds politically correct. Where is your past experience that allows you to come off with such a summation? My past experience tells me you either have plenty or you have none....

No all men are not aggressors. But most of them outweigh and easily have more strength than their female partner. And THAT'S where I'm coming from.

You don't know me Cian and you don't know what I've been through. You run your mouth all the time on here......I'd suggest you don't start your venom with me.

Then perhaps you shouldn't start your venom with the OP. You don't know what HE'S been through, other than what he's posted.

Run my mouth all the time? I post my opinion. Sometimes it's helpful, sometimes it isn't. I'm not the one who tried to make the OP feel like a little wussy for being abused by a woman, which is most likely the reason American males hardly ever press charges against abusive wives.

My past experience is none of your business. Let's just say that on the various boards that I own or have moderated, there are always a few perpetual victims....the ones who always assume the male is the aggressor, even if evidence indicates otherwise.

Size has nothing to do with it. Most men won't retaliate or even defend themselves against a woman, so how does their larger size or greater strength apply in any way? Pain is still pain, abuse is still abuse.

The OP did retaliate.

And physical size has everything to do with it. If you have ever been roughed up by someone a foot taller and 70 pounds your weight, especially when that person is pumped full of anger-based adrenalin, you would know that.

Yes it happened to me. Does that make me a victim? Perhaps.

Sorry, Cian, I call them as I see them. A gentleman doesn't put his hand in anger against his lady - ever.

Rebecca,

I respectfully disagree. If a woman comes at me with a machete, you're damn right I'll hit her before I die. Doesn't matter how small she is or how cute she looks when she smiles.

I'm sorry, this is terrible. I hope you find someone truly special to share your life with.

As for the greencard, it seems to me like there is no way she can get it. You've only been married a few months, you haven't filed an affidavit of support, and you certainly won't go to an interview. I second the letters to USCIS telling them about possible fraud, but otherwise, what can you do?

Self defense is different than just purely being pissed off. I concur with your point.

Even if there was, the OP's got bigger things to worry about. Like protecting his assets. Yodrak's already mentioned this, but it bears repeating. Don't let the b!tch take your sh!t too. Lawyer up.


So all the OP has to do is claim there was a Henckel knife on the table and he was afraid he'd fall on it... and suddenly him pushing his wife becomes self defense. haha.

You know what? It amazes me that what probably REALLY happened here is being overlooked.

Sure. Wifey possibly had intent to immigrate and dump the Hubby. But he was the perfect patsy. If you read above he states that he has previous experience with immigration and CRIMINAL lawyers.

Methinks she found a man with a temper and a past criminal history and was willing to bet her future on the fact that if she pissed him off enough, he would take a swing at her. Thus providing her with the perfect golden egg for allowing her to possibly stay in the country. Abuse.





Are you just trying to tease me AJ? Go ahead, I'll play.

Rebecca,

According to the OP, she pushed him first, and after falling down and breaking the table, he pushed her back. That doesn't seem atypical. As for size, how is it you feel he is so much bigger than her? If she pushed him to the floor, he can't be that big! I know my wife wouldn't be able to push me down!

Lastly, I believe he is referring to the lawyer(s) he has working on THIS case. He doesn't indicate he used them in the past, or keeps a personal criminal lawyer on retainer. It is almost like you are reading more into this.

Just my 2 cents.

Robert

I'm so sorry about what you've been going through. I got sad specially because it is someone from my Country that acted like that. Yes, people in Brazil do go out and stay till early morning out.... that is because our parties or clubs start at 11pm, before that there is nobody there! But I understand you're asking about the immigration issue and that I can't help, just wanted to say I'm sorry and I don't want people to have a bad impression of my Country!

Good Luck!

Robert, that's true I don't know any of the details you mention. I could be way off base.

You see, some of us who have been on the receiving end of violence, while we bear the scars of it, do have the ability to to look back over the history of our stories and try to get some smarts about it. I firmly believe there are women AND men out there who cry 'abuse' because it's a great hot button these days.

But I also believe that a temper so hot, be it male or female, that flares so out of control to unleash itself at the hand of it's poor human vessel, is a double-edged sword of destruction. When all is said and done, the power gained from any aggression is just as poisonous to the one admistering it as the one receiving it.

The scenario I rolled out is just me looking between the lines. I could be completely wrong.

If so, I apologize.

If not, well then I think it's a pretty typical example of how 'abuse' can come back to haunt the abuser.

After that, my wife changed completely, started going out with other girl friends hers, until on May 20 (Saturday) she stayed all night out (come back home 5:00 am). That was it for me, at that same morning I asked her to pack her stuff and live my house, and that our marriage was over and I would put a stop to the green card process. She became very upset and started to push me, pushing me against the coffee table, where I felled over and I broke the table. I got up and pushed her back telling her to stop that.

Sorry you have gone thru this.. but seriously.. I really dont think this came on suddenly. ...

Concerning your comment on sending her packing because she stayed out all night...?? WOW.. .. wheres the communication?

Sounds to me that there is more to this sutuation that you are letting out.

Actually sounds like the whole situation is more than just a few shoves here and there.. could be instigated by her but also brought on by yourself... ..

Just be glad she doesnt have teh GC yet.. good luck

you dont have to share you whole life story.. bt if she lies, she lies.. you didnt mention that that's why i was wondering why partying was such a big deal. but if she lied then it's different.

You said your case was dismiss you I guess youe (ex) wife wouldnt be able to recieve the GC. I'm sorry this happen to you. Wish you good luck in the future.

Well it would seem then the proper reaction should have been anger at the wifes abuse and instigation of violence towards her husband. I suppose if the woman was 250 pounds and had a black belt then he might be forgiven for being human and letting his emotions get the best of him. We all know these stories have two sides, but if this is the truth then I hope the anullment goes through and it ends gracefully. The law on domestic abuse includes nothing about gender, weight, size or height of the perpetrator as far as I have heard. I would do everything in my power to stay away from this person in any private situation, never come near her without some type of supervision, protect yourself from all allegations until this is over. Have you applied for AOS? Submitted an I864?

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING

I am sorry lady, but on order to give your opinion on something, you should read BETTER the subject you are giving your opinion.
I don't have PAST CRIMINAL HISTORY; my cost with "divorce and criminal lawyers" has been for this case with my wife. I have seen you throw your "poison" on my name, other folks trying to defend my (and I appreciate that), but like I told you at the beginning, read my statement "she pushed my against the coffee table after I told her that she will lose her green card (she was angry), the table was behind me, and I fall on top of the table, THEN after I got up I PUSHED her away from me.
Thank you very much for your attention




Don't worry about that, I am brazilian/american to.
And I know how the parties are IN BRAZIL, but we live in USA now. And she told me she was it her girl friends, and I know for fact that she wasn’t with her girlfriends...

Like I said Luiz, if I'm not getting it right here I apologize.

It's true my past experiences color my opinion. Sorry if that makes me look like I have some sort of 'syndrome'.

Nobody should be 'pushing' anybody. First of all that's not the way civilized people behave. And second of all, see where it got you?

It's better to walk off and cool down than cool down in court.

You are right, that Saturday was just the last drop. What happen is that she had a full control of me, and she just stretched her luck counting on her control over me. I complete lost at that day, but not at the violence point. That’s why I didn't want to see her face, that way I wanted her out. I know I have my fault on this screw up relationship, I was to much involved to react before on a smaller scale problem.

Luiz, I'm really sorry that you came here for support and you are getting a bunch of BS. Supposedly, this forum is about supporting one another...

Rebeccajo...being a West Virginian, I understand that it's still 1960 there and the poor little females just can't possibly defend themselves against those big nasty men and that only men get aggresive. However, it is the year 2006! If you want a world full of gentlemen and women don't start fights, you might want to invent a time machine. This is the real world!!! Exactly what happened to Luiz has happened to a close friend of mine and it took him years to recover. It's not funny when women go around accusing men of violence because they can claim your taglines. In fact, it's sick. To imply that most men are abusers is just smalltown, narrowminded thinking! FYI...I was in an abusive relationship for far too long and lost everything and then some. I have experience in these areas, but I'm not going to carry bitterness in my heart for a man who defends himself against an aggressive woman. He should!

I guess I should have kept my mouth shut.

I don't think I implied all men are abusers. I said a man is bigger and can generally overpower a woman.

I said nobody should be pushing anybody.

Oh...it's not 1960 here. Is husband and wife arguing and not hitting, pushing or shoving each other something that only happened then?

As far as 'helping' Luiz, the answer is simple if his timeline is correct. All he has done is file the AOS - there's been no interview yet. If I were him I would attend the interview and rescind my affidavit there. After writing a few letters as suggested earlier.

I am really sorry this happened to you. I am just going to put the pushing aside because it happened once and you pushed each other. I have been pushed before and I have done my own pushing which I am not saying is OK but I know it can happen to the best of couples. What I feel sorry about is the way she seemed to get you in love and then as soon as she is here without her daughter she decides to pull the controlling, disregarding your feelings crap.

I'm sorry but if you truly love your spouse then you want to be with them in your bed at night, not at a bar with your girlfriends. I am not saying you don't go out with your girlfriends but staying out till 5am without a phone call?? Seems fishy to me. I know from reading the post that there is probably more examples of her bad behaviour but you listed her staying out all night as one so that's what I am commenting on. I have read alot of cases where wives seem like a soul mate and then get to the states and clearly show they just wanted a fee ticket.

I hope the annulment goes through for you and I am sorry for your loss. I know how upset I would be if I got to the states and my husband was a completely different person.

Good luck to you!

Thank you for your support

Hi CanadaGirl,

I am very impressed by what you wrote specially from a woman perspective and please do not take that in the wrong way. I just love how people get married and want to be out partying without their spouse. I believe this to be wrong. If you want to be partying out every weekend until 3, 4 or 5 AM then ‘DO NOT GET MARRIED”!!! Just stay single and party all the time.

To my critics who are going to start criticing me this does not mean because you get married you need to stay home all the time. Things are not black or white there are other shades of colors.

Luiz, you got a very bad apple get this resolved as soon as possible and move on. There are posters here who gave you very good advice, take them and do it. I wish you luck and things will get better.

Peter Miami