Peter you are absolutely correct in what you are saying , I totally agree with you although I know some people might not.

Janice

Add another one to the "agree with Canadagirl and PeterMiami" column.

I agree also, you dont stay out till 5 am when your married.

Unless your with your spouse

To rebeccajo

All your posts and replies, you are very negative about men. I firmly disagree with you. I was once an abusive victim. I am not an aggressor. I did walked away. My ex-wife cursed me out everyday. Hit me everyday. But still I didn't lay my hands on her. Because the law does not believe me, even though I have done nothing. If I didn't walk away from her. I am sure, I can see my asian ### in jail. So, think very hard next time before blaming men.

Its been a long time since I posted here,but it is truly pitiful when ppl come and announce such personal things on a forum of strangers,if you want some advice why not just PM someone you can trust! instead of spilling it out for everyone to comment on! go watch a damn soap opera,dr.phil,Oprah, My GOD! there is always two sides to a story. go out and do some good in the world instead of saying "OH I'm so sorry" or "Your a JERK" None of us will never know what truly happened between them!


Marc

oh and by the way who cares, read the paper you will see divorces everyday how many of them do you call and sympathize with? NONE!


Marc

Actually, you're wrong. There are 3 sides to every relationship story.
His side, her side, and the truth.

Also, the people here may be strangers to you; that doesn't mean it's so for everyone else. What better place, really, than an internet site to talk about your most personal of issues? No one knows who you are. No one will throw it back in your face later (in real life). You don't have to worry about offending anyone involved.

The people who come to sites like this and refuse to reveal their real first name or the city they live in really crack me up. I can almost guarantee you that no one has ever hunted down every Bobbi Sue in Frog Balls Tennesee just to find the one he saw on an internet message board. These same people will, of course, gladly put their social security number on credit applications without a thought, which carries a much higher risk.

Anyway, side rant there.

I just find it funny that people post here about how people shouldn't post personal stuff online, when fully 50%+ of the people here met their fiance(e)s online. Good thing they weren't quite as paranoid/anal/etc, eh?

This is a forum of advice on family immigration issues. When Luiz had this problem, it became not just a personal problem, but an issue of immigration for him. Posting here is a reasonable thing to do, because it's entirely possible someone may have faced a similiar situation and be able to give him good advice with the direction he should go regarding the immigration issues. Giving a few personal details as to what happened between him and his wife makes it easier for him to get the correct advice. Perhaps there isn't anyone he trusts who has been through this before! And maybe someone who "hasn't posted in a long time" actually has something of use to say!

Yes, there are stories in the paper all the time of the heartache of divorce. But very few have anything to do with immigration, the reason Luiz posted in this forum. When I got divorced, I would've been TOTALLY wigged out if some stranger who saw my name in the paper called me to sympathize...get real about that one Marc! Just because we can't SEE the people on VJ doesn't make their problems or their pain less real!

You're right, we don't know all that went on between them. It's true we only know what Luiz said. But we don't need to know everything to try to lend a hand with the immigration issues, just some hightlights. And if the good we go out and do today also involves lending moral support to someone we can't see...SO BE IT!

My good that I'm going out to do today involves giving you, someone who seems to have some issues with anger, my best wishes for a calm and happy day!

Rebeccajo:
There is a flaw in that picture of the perfect couple you have in your head where the man is always larger.
I myself weigh more than my husband and I am also almost 3 inches taller than he is. On another note, I can and have had him pinned to the floor before, although in our case it was an enjoyable time for both of us.
Just remember that not every couple comes in that perfect package.

Luiz: Hope that you can get these issues resolved and get on with your life. Good luck.

I would like to thanks everybody that responded to my posting, even the ones that didn’t feel sympathized with my problem.
I did posted this problem because I was looking for a direct and fast way to solve the IMMIGRATION problem, like I had been helped before on the visa issue.
I really appreciate lots of people helping me, defending me against the ones that didn't believe on my history. I only hope those peoples that didn't believe on my or didn't sympathize with my situation, don't ever have to be on this situation to expose most intimate problems to "estranger", just to try to have a direct help, not just a answer from a cold professional lawyer.
I had got couple private emails with good advice about IMMIGRATION issue, for those I thank you very much.
For those that think I am wrong, or I should not expose my problems here, the only think I can say is "just thank god you are not on my shoes".
Again thanks everybody

Luiz
PS: Bay the way, Luiz is my real name.

Luiz I do hope you get some sort of resolution. As I said before, I really think the most effective thing to do would be to show up when the interview is called and give a statement about your marriage. You might even be divorced by then.

I think your situation perfectly illustrates that raising ones hand against ones spouse can be 'bad' in more ways that what is typically perceived. In this case it created issues with the law.

None of us were there so we really don't know who provoked who. And that's the trouble with domestic stuff. It's always 'he said - she said'.

It appears I struck a nerve with several of you in this thread and if I did I apologize. I've been on the receiving thread of abuse and maybe it's hard for me to keep my perspective. I'd like to think I can think through it clearly but maybe I can't.

I don't have an image in my head of the perfect couple (big man - little woman) nor am I living in the 60's. Those of you who responded with pain to my comments were also abused (so you stated) and perhaps your personal experiences colored your response to my comments.

At any rate, this is a hard hard issue and I am sorry if I brought back bad memories for anyone.

Oh - I am a little woman (5 foot 1 and slim) and all my partners have been much taller than me. Even the ones who weren't had more muscle mass and power than I could hope to muster. Just adding that for whatever it's worth.

5 am with our without the SO- I'm 26 and I fall asleep with the light on, drooling on my book waiting to call my fiancee at 1am. I am not made of such stern stuff. By 10pm give me a bed!

To the OP - take care of yourself, I have no advice or opinion, I only hope you're seeing better days soon. The same to everyone else on here. It's friday, i'm sleepy and i just hope everyone here has a nice weekend - as they say - every day spent above ground is a good one.

Joey

I am in total agreement with what you said!

Peter Miami

My good that I'm going out to do today involves giving you, someone who seems to have some issues with anger, my best wishes for a calm and happy day!

You just made my point, some of you seem to thrive on pity parties and red hearts, I certainly would never ask for legal advice from regular folk,something as important as this should be taken straight to a _______ you fill it in! I really never knew I had anger issues until you mentioned it, thanks for changing my life! you should do more of this for people! LOL.

I'm off to my anger management class, Oh and thanks again!

Marc

Or not show up at all.



I can guarantee that even if he hadn't raised his hand against her, she still would've accused him of domestic violence anyway, just for the sake of the GC.

One major underyling point that a few have mentionned, is that this is a website for those who are going thru or have already been thru the immigration process in one way or another and are seeking help, advice or simply support from others. In my opinion it all goes back to a little advice that my mother has given to me and I'm sure many of you have heard the same "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". The truth is that most of us don't know each other personally, so we have no right to judge anyone. All the best of luck to you Luiz with this whole situation and please know that there will ALWAYS be people here that you can talk to.

Very true!

Peter Miami

Luiz,

I am deeply sorry to hear that your marriage had to come to an end. You invest a lot of money, time and enegy in getting the visa approved for your SO. I wish there was a way that you both could have resolve the issue before the violence begun. I'm so sorry.

I have a question. Is your ex-wife filing for the green card under the VAWA Act? I did not read all of the previous posts so I'm not sure.

Yup, I agree. But also, a lady doesn't put her hand in anger against her gentleman - ever.

That's true.

Very, very true!

Peter Miami

Hi Luis,

It is a long time since I posted here. I was still in Brazil, waiting for my visa. I remember you at the embassy. We had interviews in the same day, I think your fiance was wearing white jeans, wasn't she ? And your stepdaughter has long curly hair. Am I correct ?
I`m not having a good experience here in US. Just to show you that is not something about Brazilian women, you can find problems all over the world. Now that I`m here I discovered that my husband had been cheating on me all this time and he claims he doesn`t have the money for the AOS process. I can`t work and he doesn`t give me money not even to catch a bus. I think I`ll have to work to pay for my own flight tickets back to Brazil...
So don`t give up hope and go ahead with your life.
Dri

Dri I wish you luck also.

Peter Miami