I know this is a little off topic, but I'm wondering if there are any Muslim converts (reverts) here that would be willing to speak with me? I am very interested in Islam (my fiancee has sparked this interest) but am having a really really tough time since my return to the states explaning this to anyone, friends or family, and even finding any kind of support system. Also, they are not supportive at all of my engagement (which I understand as they have never met my fiancee being that it is IMPOSSIBLE to bring him into the states).

Just feeling like its me and him against the world, and its difficult when we are so far away, with no end in sight.

Any support would be apprecaited.

Thank you
Christina

Is someone pressuring you to convert? Don't convert because it is you and him against the world. Don't convert
because he wants you to. If you are a Jew or Christian you are good. Here is an applicable verse:

“Made lawful to you this day are At‑Tayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends”

[al-Maa'idah 5:4]

Hi Christina,

I am a "convert" to Islam. I did this when I was in Egypt with my fiance and it is what I had planned to do since before I travelled there. (And NO I didn't choose Islam because of Mohammed... I had already made up my own mind.) I understand your feeling of isolation. I have it too, but I have made my peace with it. My religion isn't something I care to display to the world. It's a quiet thing that sits in my heart and its between me and Allah. I don't particularly discuss it with anyone, but I don't hide it either. I have gotten the shocked expressions when I turn down pork at gatherings or pick the pepperoni off of my pizza. There is a lot of ignorance and adverse judgement in this country regarding the religion of Islam and it's a real shame. It's also a fact of life unfortunately. I am content in my choice, I am happy with my fiance, I am thankful (alhamdulellah), and I follow the wisdom my fiance suggested to me. He suggested that I don't try to be a ME/NA muslim. I am American and that culture is obviously not who I am. He said that I have to be who I am and muslim too. That's why most people don't even realize that I am muslim. I don't cover my hair, but I do wear discreet clothing, etc.

Hello Cristina, My name is Meriem. I am glad you are thinking about Islam. I started reading about Islam about 6 months before I met my fiance. I attested the Shahada around the time we fell in love. I would suggest to read and study about Islam. Make sure all your questions that you have about whether to embrace Islam or not, are answered and once your heart and mind are at peace with the truth of Islam, then you can embrace Islam. I live in a very rural area, I do not cover my hair either. Hachemi said it is my choice. I do wear modest clothes. I do not discuss my religion with anyone either. I am estranged from my parents, because of family issues, not my religion, so they do not even know. Even if they did, it not a problem to me. When I am at gatherings were food is served I am always saying, What do you put in this? Or does this have pork? And they would say, are you allergic to pork? There is a lot of girls here that are converts that know so much more than me. I am sure they will be here to help you too.
Good luck to you and your fiance.
Meriem

Alhamdulilah you are learning about Islam
I would be happy to talk to you in private anytime you like. Feel free to PM me anytime.
Take care!

Layla

Oh I wanted to add some websites but it was too late to edit...
Understanding Islam
To Listen to Lectures by scholars
Great site for beginners and non-muslims
Troid.org
Fatwa-Online.com

I like all these websites.

Here's a booklist that I've read - not all directly on "Learning Islam" but different aspects of being Muslim, culture life etc.

1) Islam: Beliefs and Observances. 7th ed. Caesar E.Farah. Published by Barrons.
Gives a great overview of the faith, non-biased. Very factual, academic oriented. Easy to read and understand.

2) Beyond the Veil: Male-Female Dynamics in Modern Muslim Society. Revised Edition. Fatima Mernissi. ISBN # 0-253-31162-4.
Mernissi is a Moroccan feminist and professor in Casablanca. This book really delves into the Koranic interpretations of things vs. the cultural/societal interpretations.

3) Dreams of Trespass: Tales of a Harem Girlhood. Fatima Mernissi. ISBN #0-201-48937-6
Another good read, but more like a novel. It’s about her life growing up in Fes.

4) Travels with a Tangerine. Tim McIntosh- Smith. ISBN 0-8129-7164-7
This is a travel related book. Smith follows the path of Ibn Bhatutah one of the greatest known travelers of the world. He tries to imitate Bhatutah’s journey and finds himself all over the middle east.

5) Esposito, John L and DeLong-Bas, Natana J. “Women in Muslim Family Law.” Syracuse University Press. 2001.
This is a pretty academic book, focusing a lot on laws (but it’s not overly technical). It does a sound job giving what is prescribed in the Koran and what is upheld as law in countries that claim they are laws based on the Koran.

6) Mir-Hosseini, Ziba. “Marriage on Trial: A Study of Islamic Family Law, Iran and Morocco Compared.” St. Martin’s Press. 1993.
This book focuses on aspects of marriage (including divorce) and is generally just 2 case studies of Morocco and Iran. It helps to compare and see the differences in the two countries very different interpretations.

7) Smith, Jane I. “Islam in America.” Columbia Contemporary American Religion Series. Columbia University Press. 1999. ISBN # 0-231-10967-9

8) Geaves, Ron. “Aspects of Islam”. Georgetown University Press. Washington DC. 2005.

9) Fernea, Elizabeth Warnock. “In Search of Islamic Feminism: One Woman’s Global Journey.” Doubleday. New York, NY 1998.

10) Stowasser, Barbara Freyer. Women in the Qu’ran, Traditions and Interpretations. Oxford University Press. New York, NY. 1994.

Hi, welcome. I'm not a convert, but I was born Muslim. I actually started learning and did put on the Hijab 4 years ago. Do worry about the flack that people will give you, God Guides who he wills. God is opening your heart, follow it.

One thing becareful of is distinguishing between culture and Islam. There are a lot of things that are just culture that people think is religions. Another thing is that if you want to learn about Islam, Don't start with Koran. It isn't going to make sense to you. That will come after learning about what is Islam and what it stands for.

Aslo, Becareful where you get your info. There are a lot of sights that claim to be muslim sights and they just destort fact and are actually working against Islam.

If you have any question this is a wonderful community. feel free to ask in public or private

I totally understand. It is something that I have been contemplating as well. I have actually read the Quran with my husband last year during Ramadan. We would then discuss what we read and he would have me share what I was feeling. It was a VERY good introduction for me. I have also recently read...

The Heart of Islam : Enduring Values for Humanity by Seyyed Hossein Nasr

It was written for Westerners to learn more about Islam (I heard about it on Meet the Press of all places on Easter weekend).

The real issue I have is finding a muslim woman in this area to help me understand more. Most of the muslims in this area are Pakistani. I know some of them. They come from a totally different place (mentally and culturally) and I would not feel comfortable at all. I am still working on this one.

Twila

I think culutral differences are the biggest problem. You can't relate. My thing is that I am of a differenct Sect ( I am Shia). You won't find many on here considering where everyone is from.

chris4336 thanks for opening up this topic...I have been doing some reading lately in Islam and contemplating a lot of the ideas as well as possible reversion at some point...I want this to be a sincere and educated decision and I am just so happy that you have opened up this door for discussion...veiledprincesslayla and AmeraMouttaki thank you so much for you impute...I am so excited that you are sharing your knowledge and looking forward to read the suggested material...I have visited a site called "Why Islam" and they have send me an introductory package including the prayer rug -which I have given to Jamal - he was very happy and a hajib...so i am reading and studying on my own...Jamal is sharing his knowledge with me but I am looking for a female prospective and an glad that Chris has started this topic...Thank you

I'm also one of the resident muslim converts *waves* If anyone wants to chat, email me and we can pick a time for some msn or yahoo chats.

Ok, here are rahma's links o plenty for those interested in Islam

iprofess by blogger extrodinare Umm Zaid. This should be the first stop for any basic information from a general point of view. She collects articles from all over the web, as well as writes her own material. Two big

About the Prophet Muhammad (saws) - read about the life of this man. His life is the example all believers strive to follow.

Surah Maryam - an excellent flash presentation with a magnificent recitation of Surah Maryam paired with an excellent translation of the meaning in English (did I mention it was excellent *grin*) Asside from studying books and articles, the most important thing a seeker can do is listen to the Qur'an. It's God speaking to you. Listening to it softened the hardest of hearts of the enemies of the Prophet (saws) and brought those who hated him the most to embrace islam.

Zaytuna Institute - Institute in California founded by Sheikh Hamza Yusuf, perhaps the most popular muslim scholar and convert in America. Excellent articles and audios. If I could afford it, I would move out to California in an instant and sit at the feet of the great scholars he has collected there.

Path to Peace - An interesting website I happened upon a few months ago.


Videos to watch

Turning Muslim in Texas - an obscure british documentary that has exploded on the internet in recent months. It interviews several texas converts to Islam

Islam: Empire of Faith I - First part of a great PBS documentary

Islam: Empire of Faith II

Islam: Empire of Faith III

Muhammad: Legacy of the Prophet - excellent PBS documentary on the Prophet Muhammad (saws).

Cat Stevens behind the music - VH1 special that chronicles the life of Yusuf Islam, nka Cat Stevens.

Here is website that has a large collection of material

http://www.al-islam.org/index.php

Found another interesting video

National Geographic's Inside Mecca - Hajj, or the pilgramige to Mecca is a religious obligation for all who can afford it. This documentary offers an insight into the hajj that is rarely seen by those who have not gone.



We're gettin all the perspectives here shia, traditional sunni, salafi. I like to read the variety

You guys are great with the wealth of information that you are sharing...I've got to bookmark them all when I get home...thank you to all that contributed
Dorothy

I have to say thank you all for this information and resources that you have shared. I was talking to Hasan and was telling him that i ws reading for more knowledge and reminded him that I am not considering to convert but want to know more. I only throw that in cause I would never want to get his hopes up and then let him down. I am not sure how happy he is cause I have many questions and I think I may have offended him when I asked why he drinks alcohol when it is forbidden. Please believe me I am not trying to judge I am only trying to inquire so that I know. He said he was not offended. He response to me was do all Catholics pray. So I told him never mind I will just read and not question at this time until i gain more knowledge.

Ok I am still curious and know that there are many clubs in Jordan and alot of alochol is consumed and Jordan is 95% Muslim.

I try and only look for te simularities and not the differences but i really want a deeper understanding so that i can be a great wife to my future husband. I want to be able to understand and comform as much as I can so that we can be better for one another. Am I not seeing this the way I am suppose to or by only trying to be the most I can is that not what is right. I am not sure but only want to grow in my knowledge and understanding in Islam. I have seen from many of the resources here in this topic that i am getting alot of useful knowledge. I am now kind of afraid to ask many questions but that is the only way to learn. I can only hope that I am not offending anyone by my ignorence on this subject but I will only try to better myself from the knowledge I gain.

Thanks again.

if you are learning you need to remember something. You can't Judge Islmam by people. If you look most people that say they are a certain religion don't actually practice it. Just because a country is made up of a large percentage of Muslim does not mean that Islam is law. You also have a population of Chiristians in Jordan. Alot of muslim Women to mixed beaches in Bikinis. There are somethings that are forbiden, but that doesn't mean that People who are Muslim to do them. But they are sinning when they do.

Try to learn without looking at what people do, but what Islam teaches.

For all the non muslims out there who would like a copy of the Qur'an, CAIR is sending out BEAUTIFUL copies of the Muhammad Asad translation of the meaning of the Qur'an. From what I hear, it can take several months to receive, but hey, it's free. Click here! I bought a copy someone was selling on half.com and I got it today. I nearly fainted when I saw it. Now, I have somewhat of a english quran collection. Like, the entire top shelf of my bookshelf is stuffed full of em. But this one is the best I've ever laid my hands on. It has beautiful printing, an english translation, the original arabic, and then the arabic written out in roman letters so it's easier for us to read and pronounce. It also has fantastic footnotes, the best I've read in a long time. It's also massively huge. I thought I could take it to work with me, but it's way to heavy to lug around. Seriously, it's worth the wait! This qur'an sells for $40 retail!

Muhammad Asad's story is also very interesting. His book "The Road to Mecca," is a classic. I first read about him in 2002 in Saudi Aramco, which btw is a fantastic free magazine that explores arab and muslim culture. Get it if you aren't getting it already.



CAIR is also sponsoring a project to educate americans about the Prophet Muhammad (saws). You can get a book or a dvd. I posted a link to the contents of the dvd earlier in the thread, but it looks much better on a tv screen. I also own this book. It's not the best biography I've read of the Prophet (saws), but it certainly is very reasonable. It also takes a few months to receive this as well, but hey, it's free

Allahu akbar, tahya djazayer!!

Oh, just to add for all my muslimah ukhtis (aka sisters) out there, keep checking half.com for cheap copies since the CAIR offer is technically only for non muslims.

Or, heck, if you're not a muslim and you want a copy ASAP, this quran is well worth the $20 investment. I'm betting that the price will go down as CAIR sends out more and people decide that they don't want to keep it. Their loss can be your gain

Hello and/or Salaam

I saw your post regarding converts...
I myself am a convert to Islam...and also marrying a North African...and live in the USA but i didnt convert cos of him...


I would gladly answer any question...email or IM me as you like...

Bye...Allah Hafiz...Allah(the God ) protect you

[quote name='henia' date='Jun 23 2006, 10:40 PM' post='271141'] [quote name='chris4336' post='257191' date='Jun 17 2006, 03:40 PM']
I know this is a little off topic, but I'm wondering if there are any Muslim converts (reverts) here that would be willing to speak with me? I am very interested in Islam (my fiancee has sparked this interest) but am having a really really tough time since my return to the states explaning this to anyone, friends or family, and even finding any kind of support system. Also, they are not supportive at all of my engagement (which I understand as they have never met my fiancee being that it is IMPOSSIBLE to bring him into the states).

Just feeling like its me and him against the world, and its difficult when we are so far away, with no end in sight.

Any support would be apprecaited.

Thank you
Christina
[/quote]



when My mother in law knew that my husband is Muslim now and he converted to Islam she thought he is going to be Bin laden ...lol but he explained to her the values in Islam and now she has no problems with it at all ..terrorists have destroyed the repuitation of Islam that's why you will hear your friends in US giving you hard time ..my husband had teh same thing too..

Good luck and God bless you

I've just come across this free cd offer for non muslims. I'm not sure about the content of the lectures, but hey, it's free

I love free stuff. Keep 'em coming Rahma.

Meriem

"is love" banners are quite popular in livejournals. I wanted to post this banner in my signature here, but I thought it might draw unwanted commentary from some people. So, I'll post it here, cause it's pretty

pretty pretty pictures *sigh*

I think it is lovely...thank you for sharing
Dorothy

Where do you find these things rahma??? You're always posting great stuff!

A lot of time online randomly surfing when I should be doing other things

YES, RAHMA, THANKS FOR POSTING ALL THE COOL STUFF - SPECIALLY THE FREE THINGS! I HAVE ORDERED A COUPLE OF THEM.... KEEP 'EM COMING!
NOURA
ironically, as soon as i posted this, i got an email confirming the webbook cd that i ordered yesterday - it has been sent out and i should recieve it in 3-5 days!!! hope it comes b4 i leave for ny!
wooohoooo....

Further pretty pictures

Muslim Cultures blog, which picks a few of the best photos out of the Muslim Cultures flickr group.

Thank you all for the wonderful replies. The outpouring of support is truly appreciated (by both myself and my fiancee).

I am certainly going to take some time to look through all these wonderful links.

Thank you,
Christina

Let us know how the CD is!


Earlier, I posted a link to a flash presentation of Surah Maryam

Now, the same person has made one for Surah Qaf. I this recitor and translator. I definately need to pick up a copy of this quran.




You're very welcome. Don't hestitate to post any questions here

[quote]Let us know how the CD is! [quote]

It came in today's mail! Gonna check it out while I'm in NY... I'll let you know how it is... packing and preparing the house to be empty for a week now...
Noura

Talk by Yusuf Islam fka Cat Stevens on Welcome to the Qur'an; Gateway of Faith.

Also on the same webpage -

Islam themed flash presentations
Large number of Qur'an recitations

Okay some questions...I guess mainly for the reverts, but any advice would be appreciated

What I'm wonering is sort of "the order" of the steps you took to becoming full blown Muslim...It just seems like first I was learning the rules but they made no sense, so I started to read the Koran, and I was thinking about trying to pray, but my fiancee said it would not mean as much to me until I officially convert but obviously I don't want to officially convert until I understand the religion deeply...and I don't see how you can do that without praying and living as a Muslim?? Sometimes I just feel like I am going around in circles?

The other thing is that some of the teachings I have read online seem completely incompatible with a lifestyle in the US...for example No Insurance? I have yet to bring this up with my fiancee, but how would it ever be possible to pay for the tremndously high cost of medical care (and also, if I died I would never want to burden my family with those bills).

With that being said, there are aspects of the religion that are changing my life. For example, I used to be extremly concerned with what others though about me (what I said, what I was wearing, etc). Now I am beginning to focus all that energy to worrying about living a good life. I also am feeling great deal more of inner peace now that I am starting to believe that there is plan for me. In these past few months I have felt truly grateful for everyday, and that is a wonderfuly way to be living my life.

Hope to hear about others journys...

I would love to share with you my story of becoming Muslim. I lead a private life so I will send you a VisaJourney private message. I have learned to keep our personal life off the main forums.

Jackie

oh wowowow this is awsome stuff Rahma

Chris, I have replied to you in PM as well.

What is this no Insurance. I have never ready anything like that in Islam.

There are certain rules that can have exceptions under neccesaty. Such as interest. When there is no Islamic bank in the Place where you live, You can get a loan from the bank to buy a home for interest.

I don't think Insurance is forbiden. Insurance can save someones life, and life is precious in Islam

I was wondering the same thing when I read this... I think there are some scholars who frown on "life insurance" because they see it as gambling but I have never heard anything against health / medical insurance. As far as life insurance, I'm not sure I see that as a gamble because we're all going to die... I'll have to search about this inshallah.

I want to just say 2 things.

One, becoming muslim is something you just do. It's either in your heart or its not. Step or not. (My opinon.)

Second, intention is the key. We are living in a non-muslim country. The society here makes following the rules of Islam difficult. As I was advised, do your best, and keep the purest intent in your heart. There are times adaptation to society is almost forced. You do the best you can.

there are alot of subject matters addressed here on islam. com
there is alot of things I dont agree with. I have life insurance. I think its for my husband
and our kids to be well taken care of. I am against it going to islam thats not what its for..


http://www.islamonline.com/cgi-bin/news_service/fatwah.asp

If there's one thing I've learned since converting, it's that it's best to find the middle path.

The Prophet Muhammad (saws) once said " The religion is easy and whosoever will deal with religion harshly, it will defeat him. So be straight, follow the middle course, give good news and seek help by moving in the morning or the evening or part of the night .” (Bukhari)

There are reasons that some say life insurance is forbidden. There are also reasons some say that it is permissable. When first studying Islam, we often get bogged down in the minute details of fiqh (jurisprudence). That's often what is emphasized. But, at least from my experiences, I didn't worry about the details until I had grasped the basics. Feel free to explore opinions on various topics, but until there's a firm grounding in the basics of belief, all the other stuff is fluff.

The very best summation of what the basics are can be found in the follow hadith, called the hadith Gabriel

http://www.ihyafoundation.com/index.php?page=hadith_jibril


On the authority of ‘Umar Ibn al-Khattab (May Allah be pleased with him), who said: Once while we were sitting in the company of Allah’s Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) there came upon us a man with snow-white attire and his hair was jet black. There were no signs of travelling upon him; and none of us recognized him.

He sat along with the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and knelt before the Prophet’s knees and placed his palms on the Prophet’s thighs and said: ‘O Muhammad! Inform me about al-ISLAM’. The Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “al-ISLAM is to testify that La Ilaha Illa Allah, Muhammad Rasullullah (i.e. none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah), to establish the Salah (the five daily prayers), to pay the Zakah (obligatory charity), to observe the fast of Ramadan, and to perform the Hajj (pilgrimage) to the House (the Holy Mosque n Makka) if you can afford it”. The man said: ‘You have told the truth’. ‘Umar said: ‘It amazed us that he would ask the question and he then would verify the truth himself’.

The man said: ‘Tell me about al-IMAN (faith)’. The Prophet replied: “It is to affirm your faith in Allah, His angels, His Books His Messengers and the Last Day, and to believe in the Divine Destiny whether it be good or bad”. The man said: ‘You have told the truth’.

He again said: ‘Tell me about al-IHSAN’ (i.e. the performance of some action in a goodly manner, goodness)’. The prophet said: “It is to worship Allah as though you see Him, and know that He sees you, even if you do not see Him”. The man said: ‘Tell me about the Hour (Doomsday)’. The Prophet said: “I – the one questioned – do not know about it more than you – the questioner”. The man said: ‘Tell me about its signs’. The Prophet said: “It is when a slave gives birth to her own mistress (or master), and when you see the barefooted and tattered needy shepherds vying with one another in erecting high buildings”. The man then departed and ‘Umar stayed with the Prophet for a while. The Prophet said: “O ‘Umar! Have you recognized the Questioner?” ‘Umar said: ‘Allah and His Messenger know best’. The Prophet said: “It is Gibreel (Angel Gabriel), who has come to teach you your religion”

So, first, deal with Islam, Iman and Ihsan. Then with that foundation, it will be much much simpler to approach other issues. I constantly remind myself that Allah (swt) in all His infinate wisdom did not throw the Qur'an down from heaven and say read it, tomorrow there will be a quiz on everything and I expect you all to get 100%. No, Allah (swt) sent down the book over a 23 year period and gave us the great mercy that is the Prophet (saws) to help us understand and guide us in the best practice. The best muslims were the Prophet (saws), his wives (ra) and his companions (ra). But, they didn't become perfect muslims overnight. God gave them 23 years to perfect their deen. That isn't to say that it will take all of us 23 years, but we shouldn't feel burdened when we learn our faith.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Something posters here might be interested in is this upcoming live session with Imam Suhaib Webb this Saturday. I know the muslim posters here will inshaAllah benefit from it, and those interested in Islam may want to tune in. I'm not sure how in depth it will be, but Imam Suhaib is a fantastic speaker mashaAllah. I'm definately looking forward to it!

Mashallah! Very well said ya ukhti!

Random bit on some western muslim culture...


Although there are conflicting opinions on the permisability of music and the use of musical instruments, some muslims are gaining prominance on the international music scene (don't want a debate on the issue here though ) My faaaaaaaaaavorite group is Outlandish, a group of 2 muslims and one catholic from Denmark. Blending their varied religious and cultural backgrounds (latin beats and arabic rifts permiate the english hip hop lyrics sprinkled with urdu, spanish, arabic and danish). The title of their latest album, Closer than Veins is a reference to surah 50, ayah 16, which says, "And certainly We created man, and We know what his mind suggests to him, and We are nearer to him than his life-vein." True to the title, the album is chocked full of songs reflecting on living life as a muslim (nay any religious person) in this society today.

You can listen to this latest album and their past ones on their website under discography. Also check out their tribute to the sisters, and especially for W_o_M, Look into my Eyes, for our brothers and sisters in Palestine.

I am not a convert but my fiance is a muslim.. i do not believe in islam because i believe Jesus is the son of God.. but thre are alot of similarities between the 2 ... my fiance is aware that i do not want to convert and respects my wishes. no matter what do not let someone pressure you in your decision.. one misconception is that when u marry a muslim u have to convert .. for some reason this is true but only with muslim women.. a muslim man can marry a christian woman or a jew.....

There is no Compulsion in religion.


Never say you believe in something until you have searched it and alternatives. May God Guide us all to his Path.

There are not alot of similarites..

Yes there is.