HEY everybody...

Well you all know that many people don't see things our way in how we meeting mates and going through process for our love. SO basically to cut out negativity to my spirit many people I have not told of my upcoming wedding because yanno there are hatas and folks who just dont understand. I prefer being positive and upbeat about my life yanno. Well of course when my darling get here I am going to have to introduce him...its sorta funny thinking about it

I am sitting here wondering, how do i mention my baby to friends and family who have no idea whats going on?ahahahahha What do you say? How you prepare? ahahahah..I can see Jide standing at the door, everybody in living room and I say to them...

"Ummm folks this my husband and other three kids" Ok I will have medics on patrol for my two nosey paranoid anti-internet aunts..ahahhahahah lmbooo..ahahahahah

SO HOW DID YOU ALL DO IT that may have to had went my route? or how do you plan on breaking the loving news?? ahhhahahahha

BE BLESSED YALL!!!!

Hi Jide,
Well I know what u mean. Im sure we all had to go thru it, I mean the negativity, stares, peep talking,etc. When I met Iyke online and things started getting more intense, I just told people. Even those I worked with. Yeah, I had to deal w/a lot of negativity, not to mention when I left for the first in person meeting in Dubai, UAE.(middle-east..post 9-11) They thought I was CRAZY!!!! I even thought I was 2.

Well anyway, I did my own thang regardless of what they said. So by the time I left for Nigeria, people were a lil more receptive of it, because we had been dating online for over 2 years then and were already engaged. However, when I announced our wedding plans, they didn't believe it. They didn't think it was possible, b/c Iyke was still in Nigeria and I here in the states. Well the real shocker came when he got here 6/2004. They were like, that girl must be crazy.

I didn't have to do much of an introduction to my family and friends b/c they already knew the deal. They talked on the phone w/him a lot while he was in Naija anyway. They were all at my house awaiting our arrival from the airport. He was greeted w/ a very warm reception and his first ever home cook soul food meal!!!!!!!! Some people here still thinks Im crazy, (that is b/c a close friend was murdered by someone from the internet), but I don't care what they think, and they still have many questions even after we have been married for almost 2 yrs now and getting along perfectly fine. Sometimes when I see people I haven't seen in a while, they will come up to me and ask if Im still married to the guy from the internet. I respond by asking who are you talking about? They look at me strange. Sometimes I just laugh and walk off and other times I'll say why wouldn't I be. Now there is also a lot of people here that thinks our story is so so awesome. They always want to hear it.

You think they talked then, well they talked even more when we had our formal wedding. Girl, I had to do it big, big to give them more to talk about !!! I passed out over 200 invitations and trust me...over 3/4 of the peep invited came and even some who were not invited. I know they came to be nosey b/c some still had not met Iyke b4. We said our own vows and vows to the kids. Girl we had them crying. We must have left a lasting impression on them, b/c still today, people are talking about it.

We have a normal marriage and life, only difference is we are from 2 difft countries w/difft cultures. We both blend in w/each others differences, however I must say that I have crossed over more than he has. Im more with his Naija friends and spouses than he is w/my American friends and spouses. But it's all good, cos I like it that way anyway. Spending time w/them teaches me more of their language

Sweetee

Livi,
Girl, you are so crazy ! Please pump your brakes because you are taking me too fast! LMBOOTF
I guess our conversation last night was the spark needed to ignite this post huh? Chile, life is just as crazy as some of the people that live it with all of that negative energy...(In reference to the pessimistic naysayers) We agree when God gives the vision, he gives it to you to follow, not to waste your time & efforts in trying to persuade others that the vision is real-God knows it is, and thats enough for me.
Members from my immediate homefront were accepting of our relationship,(except my uncle, but girl he is a hot mess anyway, so that didn't come as a big surprise. But like we agreed, no man is going to finance such an expensive trip, especially a poor man, to get you to his territory to kill ya. Nah, he's just gonna show luv-luv, and more of it! That's what I was trying to get my uncle to realize, but I guess he thought that all my sense of rational had flown out the window, as so it was o.k. for his to runaway also. allthough they come from a much different genre, they have always been open to my ideas and supportive. (I know some them had difficulty grasping the concept of Conventional love by unconventional means,( ) yet they still girded me up and assisted me in every imaginable way.
Now I chose to share it with some, and others I didn't (for the obvious reasons). After we married, I wished to God that I never opened my big ol' mouth and shared it with the church fam, because girl you know every Sunday they asked me the same ol' question, "When is your husband going to arrive?" I said, "My guess as good as yours, but surely in Gods perfect time." I wasn't about to start laying it out for them. You know the visa process, girl they would have been all the more looney after learning about that . Heck, I had been thrown into the immigration crash course myself, I-129F, I-130, 'touched', CSC,TSC, NVC, blah-blah-blah,
I found it best to continue to discuss the updates with those whom were closest to me, and for the rest... They surely thought things were over when after the years passed and they still hadn't seen him. They stopped asking questions, and I'm not the one to volunteer the info. But trust me if I had a dime for every astonished look that their faces beared when we stepped into church,
I could have quit nursing school and became a millionaress!
Its all good, I got your back sis because I can understand your plight. When everything around you seems to be going awry, people acting funky and ego busting, instead of ego boosting. Money looking funny, so funny that you are laughing so hard that you are in fact crying. It is definitely a faith walk! I didn't discover V.J. until 2005 (Nearly 2 years after, I had been feeling my way through the journey. Now run tell that! LOL)
So, be encouraged and keep holding & don't give up on to the dream that God has rooted in your spirit-NO MATTER WHAT, because you will face opposition, from various quarters, but know that you are a woman of valour a true force to be reckoned with, and no weapon formed against you will prosper!
In God's time, and in his own special way he will grant you the discernment to know who, what, and when to tell it!
Talk to ya later... Now go work on the blog!

Great topic. Thanks for reviving our forum a little.

I told those closest to me first. Once I found out I was preggers, I told the rest of them. My reasons, for confidentiality are probably a little different than everyone elses. Needless to say, my family can't get enough of hubby now. I think they like him more than they like me.

Well... we met in person so most of my firends and family knew I was dating a guy in South Africa from Nigeria. However, when we decided to get married, the biggest obstacle was my dad. And my then fiance said we must have his permission to go ahead with our plans. That was one of the hardest conversation ever, but in the end...my dad supported us. My firends were very supportive and even helped financially (over 2000) to help get him here. When he got here we were very casual and he just met my friends as opportunity came. The only negative comment I had was from someone at work who told me to make sure he wasn't just in for a greencard. I sadi I was sure and she has never brought it up again. In fact, she gives me fruit all the time to take to my husband. So I am very thankful for all the positive people in my life, and for my dad for supporting us even though it was so hard to do at first.

I can relate. One guy at my work told me that I was probably going to get HIV, and that the reason why there is so much HIV in Africa is because of all the inbreeding. . I remember thinking how ill informed this college grad was. It was ok though, because I always considered him an educated idiot anyway.
It is so funny to think about all the people saying stuff, that really have no clue.

Hubby and I are both nigerian who have known each other since birth but we got together only after I had come here for a while and gone back and we reconnected. Even with that history there is still negativity from certain folks. I introduced him to everyone as the guy I was gonna marry some were happy some weren't , some didn't think we could have a relationship since we were on two continents but I think that the way you present and introduce him can determine how people react to him. Introduce him with confidence and without doubt as the person you love and will be with no matter the circumstance. Of course there are people who just don't need to know. Some will tell you how wonderful it is and some will tell you that you are being used. I do find that my close friends and family are the ones that are supportive and are the ones i keep close to me.

My immediate family was able to talk to him on the phone, before and after my visit. One thing I love about my immediate family, whoever I choose they accept him, so my introducing him to them was easy. On the other hand the others are a trip, they have something to say about everything and everybody. I keep them near but not real close!!! But I had faith in GOD to know that he muzzle all the negatives, so I don't get the comments, but I'm sure when we are not around, they have a field day!!!

I think if the FH's or hubby's show their true love to towards you, then the family has nothing else but to love him. Most of my problems were with the outsiders, even a minister from my church.

I went on vacation and came back with a wedding band on my hand. Simple like that.

For friends and family: My best friends knew. After all, that's how I met Nani in the first place. My parents knew I was going to Ethiopia to meet Nani. I called them once I got hitched and told them. They were happy even though it took another year for them to actually meet their daughter-in-law in person. That first meeting, however late, was a huge success. My folks love my wife.

My hubby and i dated and were engaged for awhile and then married last year, so my family and some friends knew about him for sometime. A few had negative things to say, and some were positive. They are just ready to meet this fantastic man i'm always talking about.........i tell them soon!

Hey Livi,

Thanks for posting your response because I, like a lot of people on here, know exactly what going thru. My husband, whom I secretly married this past February in Ghana, is a quite a mystery to my most of my close friends especially family here. All my family knows about my "African Footballer" is that he is a really good "friend". I have tried telling my family a few things good things about him to see how they would feel about him but every time i have done this they just have this puzzled look on their faces because they dont know what to say! Its as if they dont believe me that he's real because he is nowhere in sight!! I know it bothers my boo, that my family,especially my parents ,don't have a clue about him. I want so badly for them to share my joy that i am in love with this wonderful person who happens to live millions of miles away but I don't really know how else to approach it because I think in their eyes, "seeing is believing." I have only told a few a co-workers but none of my best friends know the extent how close my boo and I are.

Like you, my boo is a huge secret and a joy to my heart that I only am able to share with a handful of people. I believe though, that when your baby is there with you all will be well and your family and friends will come to love him as you do and once they see how happy you are, then they will bask in the love u share for one another!

Stay positive and don't let others who have negative opinions about your relationship prevent you from a living a life full of happiness with the one you love!

NOW THATS A FITTING SERMON!!!! YOU TELLING THE TRUTH!!