Just curious.

I'm voting for "Id stay and work it out.."

It would NEVER happen but if it did, I love him too much and have too much invested in our marriage to just leave.

I voted 'stay and work it out'. I dont give up easy on a relationship, especially this marriage with someone I love so dearly. I believe in my marriage and Im a stayer. Dan would NEVER cheat anyways so its not something I think about.

hmm... i think it depends on the situation, that is, is this a repeated offense.etc..working it out is the best possible step but in allot of cases once trust is lost, it is hard to get back

un for give a ble

tried the whole forgiveness thing when I got burnt in the past.... NO WAY will that EVER happen again. I made it clear to my SO. I will never cheat on you so do not do it to me and expect forgivenees. Ain't gonna happen!

My thoughts are if someone cheats then they are obviously unhappy about something in the realtionship. That being the case then suck it up and move on. Don't be a scoundrel about it.

Oh and for those people I see write "NEVER" would happen..... Never say never my friends. Believe me! Been there... done that!

IF my husband cheated on me he would be DEAD. I would kill him.

My first 2 husbands cheated. I stayed in my first marriage for 16 years. I always had that gut feeling with them so it really didnt surprise me when I found out for sure that they had cheated. I dont have those same gut feelings, nor inner voices this time....plus for reasons I wont go on about, I trust 100% this time and can say 'NEVER'

I voted that I don't know what I would do................I have been cheated on in the past but I don't even think about that in my current relationship. I trust him wholeheartedly.

I agree with Aussie-you know in your gut when someone is cheating-I don't have that feeling with Gav. I didn't really know what trust was until I met him. It is a great feeling when you are in a trusting relationship-I can't believe I went so long without one.

I voted "I'm not sure what i'd do"

It really would never happen. People cheat when they're dissatisfied with their relationships, and/or when they feel they can't communicate with their partners honestly.

My fiancé and I tell each other everything and have a policy of never going to bed upset -- we nip problems in the bud. If our relationship DOES go stale (I won't say this will NEVER happen, since *this* is possible, but hopefully it'll never happen), we'd try to work things out... and if that doesn't work, we'd part ways before searching for someone new. Cheating is not the way to go, because it'll hurt everyone involved and that's a stupid way of handling relationships.

sister shon, i like your style

Besides love, "trust" is the most important thing in a relationship. It's almost all 2 people have which is one reason why they marry. When that is gone...sure you could "try" to stay with them, and make things work out.....but once the "doubt" begins...it would always be there, and would continually interfere with the relatonship. I can imagine many arguments being started because of bitter feelings over this. It would always be there and never end.

I have yet to see a marriage last when cheating has taken place.

i agree with mpggpm,

i have yet to see a couple argue and never bring up past events. it's human nature. I'm sure there are some couples that can work it out after one has been unfaithful.

my husband and I have a mutual understanding. if either of us has thoughts of cheating, we need to talk and see a marriage counselor. if that doesn't work, and cheating occurs, we will go our separate ways. people waste too much time bickering.

i disagree, i ahve seen quite a few realtionships last when there was a cheating among one of the partners..through therapy..

I also have known couples where one has cheated and the relationship lasted..but I know it must take an awful long time for that trust to be there. That is one of the MANY things I love about Craig...I never worry about that, whether he's a mile down the road or 4000 miles from me...I know it's something he would NEVER do, and nor would I. If either of us felt like that, we would get a divorce...it's the right thing to do..not go behind the other's back. We both had deep moral feelings on this long before we met, and I'm not worried. I chose, I would stay and fix things; too much love there. M.

I am one of those people who has a little bit of trouble moving on and letting things like that go. I would constantly be thinking about it, and I would surely be extremely angry at him everyday which would just make our marriage worse so I'd say see ya later.

I put I don't know what I would do. Even though my ex was a cheater.

I - unfortunately - have something that MOST of you in this community don't have. I'm older than many of you (48) and was married the first time for 26 years.

Marriage is for life - and in a lifetime people change. Thirty years from now you will be amazed at the course of your life. At what your life experiences have shown you and how they have shaped you. And you will see differences in your spouse. And then there's that old bugger called LIFE - it causes things to happen out of your control that some people handle better than others. It tests and it molds.

If you are blessed, the changes will be for the good and both of you will be healthier, wiser, wealthier, and more in love than you are today.

For me I try and stay flexible. Cause I know that 'never' is a long way off.

and for some reason i believe shon would

Cheating is a big no no

I voted I don't know what I would do.....I would want to forgive and move on but I think the relationship would not survive the infidelity in the end.

Obvious who's poll inspired this.
No... it's taken a long while to get over previous problems, (and I'm not even entirely sure they're over completely) to give up on a mistake, provided it was a mistake, but it would hurt a lot, and be s**t hard to not resent.

No idea.

Been there... done that. Life is too short to spend it with someone who can't be faithful. Without trust, which is destroyed after something like that happens, there is no relationship. If you have to start over with a bad relationship, why not start over with a new one? Could it happen again with the new one? ... sure... but it has already been proven to happen in the old one!

I've been cheated on before, and even though we worked through it, the trust was gone. Every time he was late, it was at the back of my mind... wondering... and eventually there came the break-up. So, no - he cheats, then he needs to get to stepping .

I've been cheated on in the past but for the first time I'm with a man I trust completely. However, I do believe that people can make mistakes and I think one incident could be forgiven (but not forgotten!), not easily, but I think it could be worked through. A second time would mean goodbye.

took a long time to think about this poll.

I voted that I'm not sure what I'd do. If it was one mistake, one moment of indiscretion, I think I might be able to forgive it. It would probably hurt like hell, and i'm not sure I'd be able to "forgive and forget" but it's possible it might be something that could be worked past.
I know if that happened it would take a long time for the trust to return. As it is now, I do trust him, completely. It would be hard to lose that.

If it was an ongoing affair, not just a "I'm sorry, I was drunk" moment, then I might have a harder time with it. A one-night indiscretion is just sex, but an ongoing affair is generally more: it's a relationship. To me, that would be more of a betrayal. Giving the love he had kept for me to someone else.

And still; I don't know what I would do in that situation. I pray I never am in it. Because wouldn't I be the fool to stay with a man who kept cheating on me, lying to me, again and again. But then I remember the look he saves just for me, and I think I really would be the fool happily if it meant I could still be with him.

all I have to say is he better not go to sleep!

ooo000oooo chainsaw shon - run for your life!

What, exactly, would that accomplish?

I agree with almaty, it's very hard to gain that trust once it has been broken, BUT I know the feeling, and no matter what, "stay and work it out". We've been down that road, not too fun, BUT I'm VERY pleased with my decision.

been there................... oh yeah. tell him where to go and how to get there.