Yesterday I kind of freaked out for no real reason, about my fiance cheating on me, and ended up giving her a hard time when she least needed distractions... yeh I suck.

I've kind of let go of any paranoia for a long while, but it came back big time yesterday for various reasons.

But anyway...

Comments?

no/never/no

NO/NEVER/NO

IT'S ALL ABOUT TRUST

Why getting married in the 1st place, Trust with your body and soul and you will have a peace of mind. Get to know your partner if you are worried about something, talk about it and everything should be alright

No to them all. I agree marriage is about trust and communication

No/Never/No

If people are already worried about this... it's going to be a short journey!

No Trust, No relationship.

I said No/never/no. But I will add to it. I'm a jealous person and I used to be paranoid over my ex (7 years of relationship, we met in high school and were together till mid college). With Luis though, even though is a LDR, and I expected to be paranoid. I don't. Maybe 'cus it's just right and I trust him deeply.
I must say I've thought about getting cheated in the future, you know, when men reach that mid life crisis, when women start complaining about their husbands. But I don't get suspicious of my SO in present time. Only time will tell.

never

no/never/no

no never no or we would not be together.

nope.....I never worry about such things. My trust in him is rock solid.
If I didn't have such trust, I would not have changed my entire life for him.
I had been friends with him for several years prior to any sort of romantic relationship, so I knew what kind of guy he is. I have always known that he carries himself with honor- it is one of the many things that make me wake up every day and thank the heavens for him.

-Rose

nope always trust my bingo.. Trust 110% and it works both ways..

This poll, like all the others here with multiple questions, is flawed, because it forces you to answer 2 & 3, even though they are not be applicable if you choose NO for question #1.

I answered no, even though he has a flirtatious personality. The way I see it is, if my hubby ever cheated on me, I would simply pick up my things and leave. Life goes on. It's definitely too short to be worried about such things.

no - you gotta have trust. Anyway he's a very sincere person

No
Never
No

If we didn't have complete trust in eachother; the past 3 or so years would have been intolerable!

Agreed - no/never/no.

There's no way a long distance relationship could last if you had trust issues. IMHO anyway.

nope. Wifey #1 did that, and I have seen/heard how it affected him -- and I know he'd never inflict that pain on me.

NO/NEVER/NO


Matt, never and no are options for 2 & 3 that are totally applicable if you answered no to #1.

nope

i see trouble in paradise, someone answered yes on if the fiance ever has cheated

no/never/no

If I answer for hubby it would be the same only sometimes I think he gets just a lil insecure with me. Even though he knows he has no basis.

thats why i never let mine out of the house !!!!!



That's because he knows u spend way too much time on this site. and who knows what other sites ;-)

NO/NEVER/NO here. Trust is the key!

I agree with Choclaterie - worrying/being jealous isn't going to stop a determined love rat anyways. Luckily mine isn't one - and nor am I - there would nothing to gain, and everything to lose behaving that way.

no/never/no...Stewart is a man of integrity and honesty!

BUT...

my ex fiance was a cheater. It's easy to say, without trust, I wouldn't be here...

BUt if anyone has ever been involved with a cheater...it's not THAT easy. By the time I found out my ex was cheating I was so entrenched into the relationship I COULDN'T leave..It was a really hard few years and I FINALLY (thank god) had the courage to leave...

But I think it's a bit easy to say how easy it would be to leave.

I'll tell you RIGHT NOW...if Stewart DID cheat (Which he NEVER would...) I can't say I would leave him...Maybe I'm weak but I love him too much just to give up and leave.

I just think it's more than just a black and white issue is all.

I agree Karo....some couples are able to work through it and come out alright at the other end.

Trust would definitely be a factor!

No, never, and no... otherwise I would NOT be giving up my life here in Canada and NOT be going through this whole crazy K1 business!!

There's a truth if ever one was spoken.

You can trust your new partner, but the paranoia from the past wounds is usually still there. My ex cheated SOOOOOOO many times that I had trained my brain to look for the signals, etc. That kind of behavior is difficult to 'unlearn'.

I'm a pretty stable and solid woman, but I know this is one of my weaknesses. All I can figure out is I am so used to being treated like dirt that I'm still not used to being treated the way I deserve. It keeps getting better for me as more time passes. But I'll admit to being tormented at times by these old demons. Fortunately for me, Wes understands the depth of my old pain - and he believes his love can heal it.

I have gotten paranoid in the past. It's hard not to when you're 5K miles apart, and he tells you about the girl that was hitting on him the night before, or the female friend at work that he gets on so well with flirting with him.

There's no real reason to be paranoid. I know him, I know his heart, and I know he would never do anything like that to me, and that is what enables me to let go of the paranoia and just... trust.

Yes/occasionally/no

what can I say? I have demons and fears.....

no/never/no
It's the first time i'm with a man i trust 100% and i'm sure he never did and never will cheat on me. People call me naive, but i wouldn't move to another country if i didn't trust him completely.

nessa's intense interest in sharp objects, chainsaws, and guns is a real incentive to behave

its amazing how long old demons can survive, even when there is a powerful love to fight them, eh?

*sigh

If you're worried about your S/O cheating on you now..... what makes you think it's going to be any better just becuase they're here? Don't you think it's going to be harder because you have more opportunity to suspect? Or is it not going to be an issue because you can "account" for all of their time? While they're not here they're "capable" of doing anything they want because you can't "check" on them all the time.

TRUST YOUR S/O!!!

If you don't trust them... don't bring them here.


Oh, and one other thing.... if someone's cheating on you... don't stay with them because you "love them." Ever notice they don't just cheat once? If they're not treating you 100% how they should..... GET SOMEONE ELSE!!!!

Why would he im perfect?

yikes 3 people got cheated on whoa

Have I been paranoid about my fiance cheating on me? NO
Have I been thinking about it? YES

We have been in a LDR for over two years, he has been travelling quiet a bit and I know he had his opportunities to cheat.
BUT- since I trust him 100% in this it never got to the point where I had to sit here wondering about if or if not he is cheating on me now.

I have been gotten cheated on in a prev. relationship and he got divorced because his ex cheated, so we both are very sensitive about that topic, so we have been very open about this issue.
Not that I ever asked him to do, but whenever he is gone, either on trips or just having a night out, he calls me an extra time, just to say hello...to tell me he wished I was there as well now and how much fun we could have together right now.
I dodn't think he even thinks about it, but it feels very good to have that assurance, that he is not doing anything stupid.

So..I think there is a difference between getting paranoid and be aware of the possibilities of cheating.

it amazes me people would actually marry someone that cheated on them. Weird world

I KNOW what you mean here Becca...I feel the same way even though I feel that I am pretty stable as well. Joel makes me feel so cherished and the most important person in this world. But for so long I was treated like sh!t and it IS hard to banish those demons. I am fortunate that my Joel understands this as well and is so very patient with me...and I know his love WILL overcome all the pain and abuse I suffered. We are so lucky, you and I, Becca

i dont even consider that... samir would never do such a thing to me

I'm sure the 5 who reported having experienced such behavior said the same thing at one point.

Since I believe in monogamy now, then I trust that my spouse would never cheat on me.

However, I don't expect to have such rigid views on monogamy for the rest of my natural life.

I think it is all a matter of trust and open communication. There's no room for deceit and lies in a marriage. Honesty can help preserve even the most strained marriages as long as both parties reach a solution that fits their needs.

Not at all... I trust him 100%!! I'm sure he trusts me that much too.
We built our relationship based on love and trust and there's nothing that will make me doubt how good and honest of a man he is.

very well said... i trust my honey 100% as well and vice versa....love, trust, mutual understanding, honesty, treating each other with dignity and respect and giving your best...these, in my opinion, are the pillars of a good and sustainable/lasting relationship

Jo

--------

jo&john's journey:

03/10/04: Met John at Yahoo! Messenger; start of a good relationship
03/30/04: I became his girlfriend
05/26/04: John excited for his trip to the Philippines to see me and set the direction
05/27/04: John on board Delta Airlines from DFW (Texas) to San Francisco
05/28/04: John on board China Airlines from San Francisco to Taipei
05/29/04: John on board China Airlines from Taipei to Manila; I met him at the NAIA (Ninoy AquinoInternational Airport);
the rest IS magic! We became more in love!
05/30/04: We got engaged! The remaining 3 days were full of good memories and still crystal clear for me
06/03/04: John left for Taipei on board China Airlines; reached LA then DFW same day; I miss my honey;
we both wait for the approval of my annulment petition (series of court hearings and procedures; constant follow-up to
expedite the process; delays because of holidays, official leaves of court personnel, etc; judge is meticulous,
no short cuts):John had been very supportive and is still.

03/23/06: Regional Court Decision out: Declaring absolute nullity of my marriage. We were very happy! The long wait was over!
Actually, the decision/resolution made was dated February 23, 2006. It took a month for editing, finalization, etc by the
court stenographers, clerk of court, etc.
Upon receipt of the Decision, I flew to Manila (I’m from Iloilo City) and personally hand-carried the Decision to the
Solicitor-General (was praying Sol-Gen won’t object to the decision; RTCs give 15 days for Sol-Gen to appeal)

04/07/06: No appeal from Solicitor-General. RTC recorded the decision in the Book of Entries of Judgment (as final and executory).
ENTRY OF JUDGMENT signed by the CLERK OF COURT. This was then forwarded to Local Civil Registrar.
Annotation was done to my Marriage Certificate. Submitted the Annotated (with Annulment Remarks). Marriage Certificate
to NSO (National Statistics Office) for authentication and on SECPA (Security Paper). I got my SECPA annotated marriage
certificate after 3 weeks.
04/10-16: Holy Week; no office
04/17/06: Submitted requirements to RTC for issuance of Annulment Decree

04/18/06: Got my DECREE OF DECLARATION OF NULLITY OF MARRIAGE (annulment process took 1 year and 10 months from
filing of petition to getting the decree) SIGNED BY THE JUDGE! Sent remaining pertinent documents to John needed
for the K1 petition. Both of us were elated!

04/22/06: John sent I-129F to Texas Service Center
04/25/06: I-129F received at California Service Center (Fr. TSC); NOA1 (Received Date)
05/01/06: NOA1 (Notice Date)
06/23/06: email notification re: IMBRA RFE sent from CSC
06/30/06: John received IMBRA RFE (snail mail)
07/05/06: John sent IMBRA RFE reply to CSC
07/17/06: email notification from USCIS re: receipt of IMBRA RFE reply
00/00/06: ???????? NOA2 where are you???? Waiting…waiting…waiting…come ASAP!

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