Hi,

I would like to ask, I would like to travel to my home country right after my divorce paper. I want to see my mom who is sick. My concern is that my husband filed for divorce paper on July 1, 2008 and it would take three months before it dissolve. I'm still living with my soon to be ex-husband's house. We agreed already to divorce because we cannot get along well because his priorities are his grown children. We don't have child together. I was hurt because as a newly married woman of course I want my husband to plan for the two of us when I have my future child. But I know he don't like anymore child from me as his priorities now are his adult childre from ex-wife. He bought houses for his adult children. And me don't have anything he even told me that all of his money and this house when he died are for his children. I filed for post nuptial instead of me; so that he won't anymore telling me always that I have nothing when I came here in the US as if he just only get me as a trash from my home country. I don't even have money because he don't give me. I'm just like a home servant with no salary here in his house.

We argue one day and asking him to free me as I was always hurting from his words. Many too mention; but if you were in my shoes you will understand me. I do love him and I know I will miss him when we go on our separate ways. Sometimes I know he wants to love me; but when he think about his children his love was gone he easily got hot tempered on me; as if it's my fault why his ex-wife divorce him and his children were separated from him.

My husband is 54 and I'm 34 years old. Twenty years ago his ex-wife divorced him leaving him with nothing. His ex-wife got the custody of the children and his house was granted to his ex-wife. And now he saw his children were grown up who just came from Florida from many years of separating from his children without seeing them. So now as if this is his first-time he saw his children. I felt how he want his family back and his ex-wife. When I arrived here in the US; the first thing that we visited is his ex-wife house. He misses his family.

I cannot do nothing about that I'm the one hurting in this part. I'm newly married; but my soon to be husband's heart is not for me. I'd rather be the one to go far from them. I don't know if my husband will miss me; but he told me he will miss me; but he cannot do anything as his adult children (ages 30 to 35 yrs. old) were his priorities now.

Right after I get my divorce paper I want to travel back home to my country to see my mother who is sick and to refresh myself from hurting and heartaches. It still hurt as I almost cry everyday because I do love my husband but I felt that he only married me for just companion.

I just want to visit 2 months and come back again to US. I want to move on with my life. I just want to refresh my mind from hurting and have a vacation with my family in my home country.

My question is: Can I still come back to the United States; I have gotten my 10 year green card last April 15, 2008 so right after three months my husband filed for divorced. I'm worried if there is a conflict with me coming back to the US.

They might tell me that I just got my permanent resident card then divorced after three months, it's not my fault. And my resident is here in Detroit, MIchigan; but when I come back of course I don't anymore come back to my husband's house. I will live with my Auntie's house in Utah.

Please help! Can I travel and come back to the United States.

There should be no problem with you traveling abroad.

Yes you are free. Only on the 2 year green card would you have a problem. I can see why your husbands priorities are where they are at. He probably lost all trust in woman because of his previous divorce. That said, what he's doing to you is not right. I hope when you come back you can start fresh with a new life here in the land of opportunity!!

So when you first met your husband, could he talk about himself and you or was it about his kids and his ex-wife? You get this weird idea that your marriage will changed things, fat chance of that.

Ex mother-in-law was that way, always telling my then wife what she should do and how she should raise our kids but she was the same way when I was dating my wife. Marriage didn't cure that, it got worse, and while not the key reason our marriage ended up in a divorce, certainly didn't help. Ha, while I vowed never to get married again, did get full custody of my kids, got them through college and paid off all those divorce bills, and had a large home paid off with just my dog and me living here that went on for a couple of years. Decided to start looking again and that is a huge field for a guy, LOL.

Talk about a short date, when you take out a woman and all she can talk about is her ex and her kids, I had to pinch myself to make sure I was awake and there, I couldn't even believe I was there, hell, I was dating my ex mother-in-law. A lesson has to be learned here someplace. Got so bad, just skipped dating period. Until I met my wife that showed a deep interest in me, to put it in a simple way, either you are number one in your mate's life or you are zero. And do you really want to spend every holiday at your mates kids house? In-laws are also an important factor, my new in-laws recognized me as a very capable person to take care of their daughter and sister. We get along.

Still have some minor disagreements with my wife in raising her daughter, my philosophy is simple on this, get them through the age of 18, drug, alcohol, smoke, and pregnancy free. Also a selfish motive here, until they are 18, I am liable for their misbehavior, you did your job, and where they go from there is their choice. To interfere after that only leads into fights. Actually my kids are very successful and when I told them I was getting married again, just kind of said, this woman has to be number one in my life, the only way a marriage can make it.

Really avoided women with shared custody of their children, your home becomes grand central station with the ex coming over every weekend to take the kids you are suppose to be raising, seen that with my friends, a madhouse that never lasts very long. Think I could write a book about this. But you are free now, you can stay here, and apply for citizenship in about three years. Hope you meet that right guy, but don't push it, miracles still happen. If it doesn't, far better to remain single than to get yourself into a hellhole. Still a lot of guys your age that do not have kids like you do, make that your priority, and find a guy that you really cares about and cares about you and have your own kids. Ha, watch out for mama's boy.

Hi,
my name is leila, i do not have answer for ur question but we have almost same story, if u feel tht u can talk to me plz email me
support@ayahscharm.com
or call me
407-412-9584
i ll be more than happy to hear from you.
bye