I was gonna post an Algerian one but I don't think everyone would understand it cuz of language barrier, but here's a funny ### one about Arabs in general! Enjoy!

-You make Turkish coffee before leaving home, when getting to the office, after lunch, when having guests, before the guests leave, after the guests leave and before going to bed.

-When shops have sale they call your mom.

-You still have, stored in suitcases, clothes that you used to wear when you were five.

-You call an olderperson you've never met before "Ammo" or "Khaltu".

-You hide everything from your parents, but they still think they know everything about you, and make you believe that they actually do.

-People are never happy with what you've achieve; if you Graduated from school they'll tell you "Oqbal el Shahadeh el kbeereh", and when u get that "Oqbal el Aroos or Areees", and when you get that "Oqbal ma nefrah be Aoulad-kum", and when you get that "Oqbal ma tefrahu bi shahadit-hum", etc...

-If you are a boy you start worrying about the Mukhabarat when you reach puberty.

- Getting a visa to Europe or the States is like getting a baby, everybody tells you "mabrook"

-You learn how to beg the personnel at the airport to allow the excess baggage you've got as soon as your father stops doing that for you.

-Your dream is holding a different passport.

-When you FLY BACK home you find 20 people waiting for you at the airport.

-Every time you fly back home you meet relatives you never knew existed, and they look nothing like your family.

-You look for universities as far away from home as possible.

-You always curse at Arabs when you are back home, but when you live abroad you only make Arab friends.

-When you come back from University you still have to live with your parents, and fight over curfew allover again, as if you never left them before.

-Your relatives alone could populate a small city.

- Everyone is a family friend.

-You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

-You teach Westerners to swear words in your language.

-When you go on a date you start thinking of lousy places where nobody would go to so you won't bump into family or friends.

-You end up in a lousy place and still bump into the relative with the biggest mouth.

-You think you are liberated when you can't even smoke in public.

-If you are 25 and not married yet, your parents make you feel that you are getting too old.

- You tell your friends how to rebel against their parents when you can't even stay out past midnight.

- You always say "Open the light" instead of "Turn the light on" or "get down from the car" instead of "get out of the car."

-You pronounce your p's as b's (bebsi and bolice)

-You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how he had to walk miles just to get to school.

-Your parents were ranked first in school.

-Your dad swears at you with words that affect himself (Ibnil kalb)

-You tell everyone that you are a successful businessman back home when you are really just an unemployed goat herder.

-You feel uncomfortable saying the word 'tease' in English.

- You smoke as if there is no tomorrow and you only smoke MARLBORO REDS.

-You only walk on the streets in groups of seven or more people and talk really really loud in Arabic together.

-You wear a black leather jacket, even when it is 100 degrees outside.

-you think its cool to dance and smoke at the same time

-If you are an Arab girl, you give the look of death to another Arab girl who looks better than you.

-Your aunt is always asking when she can dance at your wedding

-You love Um Kalthum and if you don't, your dad
makes you listen to her and tries to translate the
words into English so you can appreciate her as much as he does.

-Your middle name is your father’s first name.

-You're speaking arabic with someone and everyone (who isnt arabic) thinks you're arguing, but instead you're actually having a peaceful conversation.

Your mother calls you "Mom and your father calls you "dad"
You get pissed when an Arab is displayed as a Terrorist in a Movie.
You go to Arabic Resturants, tell the owners your Arab, and think you're
:going to get free food
Your family is over at your house all the time
All the grocery stores and gas stations in your city are owned by
relatives
You would never call it Pita Bread
You use KHEBAZ(lebanese bread)as a utensil
you know what the debki, a hafli, and a derrbakki is/are
You are always right
You get happy when your white friends use Arabic (swears especially) in
:normal speech.
At weddings, it takes the bride and groom four hours to kiss all the guests.
You gossip about your own family...with other members of your family.
One satellite dish on your roof isn't enough...you need at least two of them.
You put olive oil on EVERYTHING and brag about how healthy it is.
Your mom cooks a meal that lasts three days.
You inherited or will inherit land in your country
Your Father swears at you with words that effect himself (Yilaan Abouk.)
You play cards till the break of dawn.
You NEVER run out of "Bizzir" (pumpkin seeds).
You have someone tell you your fortune through your coffee cup.
You are awaken at night by a member of your family yelling over the phone to overseas.
You're convinced that your mom would win a "slipper throwing contest" because of her accuracy.
As a kid you have been beaten with a branch of a tree.
You say "Wallah" after every sentence.
You always know everyone arab and most of the time your related to them
You say "bolice" and "beoble" for "police" and "people"
Your spouse is most likely your cousin
You wear more cologne or perfume than deodorant.
You pity anyone who is not Arab and think all other cultures are
morally corrupt
You have so many cousins you can't count them or lose track
counting them
You have a gold necklace of your name written on it in Arabic
You own and/or play the tubleh
Your middle name is your father's first name
You can't have a meal without bread
You love Um Kalthoom and if you don't, your dad makes you listen to her and tries to translate the words into English for you so you can appreciate her as much as he does
Your favorite food is wara' dawali, but you are embarrassed to tell your friends that you ate leaves for dinner .
You get really happy and call the whole family to the room when you see there is a special on Arabs on CNN
Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if you're in the next room.
You arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it's normal.
You say bye 17 times on the phone.
You do all the housework and cooking if you are female
You use your forehead and eyebrows to point something out.
You hug and kiss relatives you have never seen before in your life.
You have a 4 cousins, an uncle, a brother-in-law and 7 friends named Mohammed.
If you are 25 and unmarried, your parents make you feel that you are getting old.
Your parents want you to become a doctor or engineer
you think proffesional belly dancers are hilarious

hummmmmm I am not Arab but there are some traits of me I see????

Too funny... I was thinking that almost all of these apply to Pakis too... Except for maybe the "b", and the "utensil" bread is called roti or parantha...lol

YOU KNOW YOU ARE AN ARAB WHEN YOUR AMERICAN WIFE SAYS THE SAME EXACT WORDS YOUR MOTHER DID BACK IN MOROCCO!!!!!

Too cute Sara! I see some of these in my husband

Or the opposite. Hubby was laughing and smiling with the taxi driver who drove us to the airport in Casablanca. When he dropped us off, they hugged each other and smiled some more. I thought they were long lost friends. Turned out they had been having a heated argument about the fare.

Not my hubby's family.... they cried and begged him not to go. They asked him repeatedly why he'd want to come here.





it's funny coz it's true


I love that!
He calls them "spitty p's" lol


I'm not Arab but MY dad used to have to walk for miles, up hills in the mountains, barefoot, in the snow to school every day...... to hear him tell it at least

Not Arab, but here is for our latinos on VJ -

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF...

- You have ever been spanked with chanclas.

- You have later been spanked with the plancha chord.

- You know your mom is sneaking up on you because you can hear her chanclas on the linoleum floor.

- Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner and you only live in a one bedroom apartment.

- You can get to your house blindfolded by the smell of the chuletas.

- You light a candle the night of the Lotto drawing.

- You get scared whenever someone mentions "el cucuuuuiii".

- You gone to the Pulga every weekend for years. Two points if you actually enjoy it!)

- You have gone to Tia's house and passed through the beaded curtain in the living room.

- You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every inch of space on/under the TV and you have a porcelain cat, dog, Buddha or elephant in your livingroom.

- You have plastic slipcovers on your sofas.

- You swear "Choco Mil" is the same as Slim Fast and try to lose weight by drinking it.

- You have a perpetually drunk uncle

- You know at least one person in your family named Maria, Carlos,Papo, Juan, Jose, Tony, Tito or Luis.

- You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell people he's your tio.

- You have ever had to -beepiar- a friend on their pager.

- You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold. I was sick of that one.

- You go to a wedding or Quiencienera, gossip about how bad the comida is, but be the first to take a plato to go.

- You drink all beer with limon and salt. (Two extra points for a splash of Tapatio)

- You have a chola in your barrio named "La Flaca: who's bigger than a house.

- You have a cousin named "Guero" who's darker than night.

- You know a chola named "La Shy Girl" who is loud and obnoxious.

- You've tried to bring a mango back to the US from Mexico, and a bonus point if you actually made it all the way home with it.

- You have sat in a two-passenger car with over seven people in it.

- You have at least TWO statues of saints in your house (and a bonus point if one of them La Virgen de Guadalupe). Yes and Yes

- You get anothers attention by saying "chhh chhh" or "Pssssst."

- You drive a Cheby- (Chevy), an -Ohsmobeel- (Oldsmobile) or a Bolswahgon (VolksWagon)

- You call your sneakers -tenis- .

- Your car has fifteen speakers in it and you fix it every weekend.

And last, but not least...

- Your grandmother thinks she has the miracle cure for everything Vikes vapor rub, cures all your sickness, with olive oil.

when you spend a week telling me your foot hurts when it actually is your knee

when we talk about slow cooking and you think that just means turn the fire down (not the crockpot)

you know you're arab when..........you spend over $1 million dollars for a camel.

(some of you may recall that story).

if youre arab and stupid

YOU KNOW YOU'RE NEPALI IF:

You prefer to eat chhauchhau dry rather than cooked.

You have forty 'didis' and 'daais' only 5 of which are your blood siblings.

Your car has dhaka seat covers, a statue of Ganesh or Buddha on the dashboard, stickers of Bob Marley and either a 'dragon's tail' or a japa mala hanging on the rear view mirror.

You rinse your mouth out with cold water before you drink chiyaa in the morning.

You say 'HELLO' about 10 times at the top of your voice when you answer your mobile.

You eat half a kilo of rice at one sitting.

If you haven't eaten dal bhat at least once a day then your parents are worried.

You have a photo of the deceased royal family on your wall.

You say 'Hajur?' instead of 'what?'

If you are a married woman, you don't leave the house without your pote mala, chura and sindoor.

You have 10 red saris.

You removed your couch cushions and replaced then with a Tibetan carpet.

You have 'Chyangba Hoi Chyangba' as your ringtone.

You touch your forehead and chest three times when you pass a temple.

You believe it is bad luck if your shoes or chappals are facing opposite directions.

I'm rolling in the floor over these two.....

"You're speaking arabic with someone and everyone (who isnt arabic) thinks you're arguing, but instead you're actually having a peaceful conversation. "

I would have to say...this is true!! LOL
So many times I would get all roused hearing him speak with family members only to find out they werent arguing

Arabic is such a harsh and intimidating language

It reminds me so much of Spanish - so many times people think my husband and I are arguing but in fact we are just talking about the day and how it went. It can be so very dramatic, hand gestures, etc., that people around us get confused...my mom always says, "is everything ok between you two?"

When I was in Casablanca I would hear Tarik and his family "yelling" about nothing! I thought Tarik had a temper until I figured out that they really do talk that loud... and for no reason really. I love it But when he speaks french.... yummy!

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IRISH WHEN

You start preparing for St. Patrick's Day in February.
You think Guinness should be in its own food group.
You can count the number of times you've had a tan on one hand.
You swear well.
You think the Corrs - and even U2 - are underrated.
You know what goes in an Irish coffee.
You know what hurling is (and it's not puking!)
You're not sure if you believe in God, but you believe in the infallibility of the Pope.
You've drank a pint for breakfast.
The further you get from Ireland, the more Irish you get.
You know someone called "Mac" or "Murph".
You know what Gaelic football is.
There's been days that you've had potatoes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
You think you sing very well.
You've lost your temper... many times.
You have a sister named Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary.
You don't see anything wrong with boiled food.
There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.
Even though you're grown up, most of your dinners are cooked by someone's mom.
You are oddly poetic after a few beers.

oh please post the ALGERIAN ONE you talked about at the beginning - i would like to see that!

WAHRANIA!!!! LMAO...My family is sooo Irish...and not that I consider this bragging, but after my grams funeral 2 weeks ago, at the luncheon, all my uncles and my grandpa HAD to have beer!

The arab one cracks me up...Sofyans family does save their clothes in old suitcases! My dad and brothers are always asking me why sofyan is " so mad" when he talks to his family on the phone, I always have to assure them that this is just the way he talks! and the bread, yes, i use to rather than a fork, its funny though cuz if i cook arab food with bread for my family, they use their fork, to put the food on the pita, then eat it, lol