Good morning VJer's,

First, I would like to thank God for today and those of you that have sent support and advice. I wanted to share with you what prayer can do.

After everything went down last week - I did seek counsel and filed for a divorce and temp orders. I then went to the local Lowe's and purchased some deadbolt locks for my bedroom and my daughters bedroom. I had the house phone turned off - (my daughter and I both have cell phones), I went to the fuse box and turn all the electric access to the room my husband was staying in, I turned the electric access to the washer, stove, and microwave off. He came home and I knew he was hot as fish grease - but he wasn't/didn't ask me why things wasn't working.

Well - Saturday morning I hear a loud banging on the front door and the doorbell ringing. I jump from my bed and go to see what and who is behind the ruckus. At the door I am greeted by two of our local police officer stating that my "boyfriend" had contacted the police department to have an escort so that he could avoid any confrontations. I said my "boyfriend" maybe you mean my husband - by this time my husband comes from a neighbor's house and proceeds to the room to get his clothing (which I bought - he thought I would care) and then packed his little groceries he had purchased from our local Dollar Tree. I personally know both of the officers and they just shook their heads. I told them both that I was glad they were there and I would be coming down to the station to get a copy of the report.

I asked the officers if I could change the front locks for my safety since he was leaving on his own free will and the officer stated "well you would have to contact the property management" - I said I am the property management - I own this home - the officers again shook their head.

The neighbor lady two houses down is who came with her vehicle and helped him gather his belongings - she couldn't/wouldn't even look me in my face - I'm not mad at her - she's being scammed as well. And the way I see it she just helped me get rid of my trash.

I'm sorry this is so long - I prayed for God to help me - get this man out of my home. I thought I would have to wait until the temp orders or divorce was final to get some sense of peace - oh but God said - today your breakthrough is here. Claim it and I did. Keep me in your prayers and thanks for letting me vent and give an update of how things are going.

I wish you the best of everything.and may you get the peace of mind that you deserve.God bless you and your daughter.

you're in my prayers

I read your first thread last week and my heart went out to you. I didn't want to be cynical so I refrained from posting. Having said that I am so glad to hear the steps you have taken to protect yourself.

My thoughts are for you.

Good for you.

We will keep you in our prayers.

Not knowing how his temper runs if he is just down the street you may want to get those little screw type window locks in case he doesn't like being locked out. I had a man I dated not like being locked out and he came through a window. Very scary experience.
Take care and good luck.

I was reading your previous thread, and I'm happy to hear that he's out by himself, and you can now have piece. Go change the locks, and if I were you, I'd file a restraining order so he can't come back.

I've been there in a past relationship...........I know you are relieved.

Yes, change the locks. Also, continue on with the restraining order. My ex actually came back and broke into my apartment. I needed the restraining order.

I wish you all the best in settling this.

I am happy you handled it well with a calm demeanor and did not have to wait long for some relief.

It is a sad situation and I know your heart is hurting from having your trust broken. But you are a strong and beautiful woman (saw your photos ) and you will find the right man who will love you and treat you right.

Nutty

I read through your other thread and I want to say I am so proud that you are taking charge of this situation. There was a ton of good advice given to you and I'm glad that you seem to be following those steps. I'm sorry that you had to go through this whole visa journey experience only to have it end in the manner. Best wishes to you.

I bow to the master!

I am glad to see that you are taking steps to not only get rid of the garbage but to take charge of your entire life. I am sorry this happened to you and I hope and pray that you can find the happiness you so obviously deserve.

Restraining orders are just papers, do not count on that for protection, if the temper is that bad, arm yourself for anyone breaking into your house

They are not just papers, they are powerful. The cops will come and drag his ### out and arrest him if he comes near her. Will the papers stop him? Of course not, but they are enforceable and the OP should get them.

I'm not sure what you mean by "arming yourself" but most armed people get hurt by whomever it is entering against their will with that armed weapon.

Not if you shoot the SOB, when he breaks down the front door with the intent of doing injury, and you fear for your life.

Get a 12 guage with a scatter pattern of four feet wide at 15 feet.

most law enforcement will not HURRY if they find it is domestic related, when they reach a certain point no threat of a paper will detour, threats are just words, you have to take care of yourself first. I work in law enforcement many a case had a order to restrain are now dead, serious facts.
Also once back in my Younger day, i to was in a similar situation, and he was trying to get in, when i called i had to tell them i didnt know who was trying break in (and i did have a gun)

I'm happy to see the situation is changing to better for you.

Stay strong and soon this will all be behind you! Good luck!

Ohhhh Chica,

I just read this...I AM SO DYAM SORRY!!!

What a Wutless pissa shyt!!! I am proud of you though...you kept your head, when others (including myself ) would have lost theirs!! KUDOS for you for outsmarting that S.O.B!!!

I hope they send em right backa Yard once dem catch him!!

Prayers and Blessings for a speedy recovery...both spiritually and financially!

PM me if you need anything!

Bless-ed,
Gill

Thanks for the compliment. I have to admit that I handle this pretty calm myself. The things that he took (clothing and money) - God has already told me that he will bless me above measure, for I am his child.

I could allow this situation to get the best of me by getting depressed/stressed/bitter - but why? That would allow him to still have victory over me. God is dealing with him - I know. It will be him that will be robbed of sleep, peace of mind, and any thought of happiness.

I just pray that I don't build my wall too high - since my trust has been broken. I'm going to take it one day at time.

I can attest to this. Personal experience talking here, and all I wanted was someone to come to the house and supervise things while I got my things...they couldn't "spare" anyone (I went there in person) at the moment...while he sat there on his arse and looked at me as if I was the one causing trouble. My best friend and I finally made enough "trouble" that he finally sent someone. TWO hours later.

Glad to know you're taking care to protect yourself. IMHO I would still get those papers...at least you can prove you've taken steps to protect yourself.

That is hardly an emergency situation...thy are not there to fit your schedule.
This ranks with getting a cat out of a tree.

It does when your soon to be ex has threatened to "do whatever he needs to do" to keep me from leaving. As for your comment, unless you're familiar with MY situation, please keep your comments to YOURSELF!

My safety and that of MY CHILD rank right up there as all important.

Thankyouverymuch!

Im just telling you how it is.....they have more important things to do, like real emergencies...this would be one of their lowest priorities as you already know.

What I originally meant in my original post, that stirred up all this "being armed" talk, is that those people that have guns/weapons in their homes, when attacked, are usually injured BY THEIR OWN WEAPONS. Do you have experience shooting it? Probably not. So when a tense situation arrives, someone barges in, they'll rip that gun, or whatever it is, right out of your hand and use it against you. In crazy situations stuff happens fast. Either know what you are doing, or don't set yourself up for an even more dangerous situation, that's what I was getting at.

I don't know where some of you live, that it takes cops 2 hrs to respond to an "emergency". Even in Chicago it doesn't take that long. When you call & tell the 911 dispatcher your SO is just getting his/her things, that may not ring the "emergency needed" bell in their mind, unless you specifically tell them you are in grave danger.

well we are some of those people that it takes at LEAST two hours to get a cop cuz we live in the country..............

You would call 911 to tell them that you want to pick up some of your things???????

911 is an emergency...yanno, red lights, sirens.....you are in immediate danger, under attack or a terrible accident with injured people, or a house on fire. People who call 911 to go over to pick up some things should be fined!!!!

You would call the non-emergency number and make an 'appointment' to have an uniformed officer meet on their schedule so that you can pick up some of your things.

That's exactly what I meant by my statement, perhaps you should read it again. Getting your things, doesnt ring the "this is an emergency" in people's minds.

My husband called the police and by the way they were beating and ringing the doorbell he must have called 911. When they realized that I was waking up from sleeping and my husband was next door at the neighbors home they seemed pissed. I asked the office if my husband had made a report about me - if I was refusing him to leave or arguing with him and they said no. They said that he had requested an escort to avoid any confrontation/arguments.

I guess he thought I was going to confront him about clothing and shoes - he's clueless. It's covered in the divorce petition along with paying my attorney fees

Thank you again for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to post this unnecessary drama he has created.



Thank GOD for the experience to grow and be that much stronger. He will never be successful, happy, or joy filled in the US unless he makes amends to you. Just like in the color purple when Oprah tells Mr. (Albert) "Til you do right by me, everything you even think about gonna fail! ...". I know that is the truth.



I know it might seem impossible right now, but find the good in this situation and use it to move forward.

i recommend 00 buck

I too was duped some years back, and there will be others that will be duped after you !! Try to find some peace of mind ( some kind of way ) and remember that it wasen't your fault, we all fall in love and give ourselves to our fiances and spouse's openly, we just never can really know beforehand that they ( our man or women ) will turn our love into their personal gain.

In these situations why not call a private security company and negotiate a price with them for an hour's work? Around here the police, sheriff's department, corrections, the city, the county as well as private companies and individuals make liberal use of a private security firm for less urgent situations. It's big business. Often the responders are ex-military and can be quite a deterant for any errant behavior.

Well done. I hope it runs smoothly for you and true love finds you.